Top 100 Quotes About A Turkey
#1. We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
George Carlin
#3. Punishments included hanging by the thumbs, toes barely touching the ground; bucking and gagging, being trussed like a turkey with a bit cutting the mouth; spread-eagling on a spare wheel, mocking crucifixion; flogging; and branding.
Michael C.C. Adams
#4. The two of them went down in a heap, with not even a turkey to break their fall.
Eoin Colfer
#5. I look like a turkey with leukemia.
Birdman
#6. I need to eat before a workout. If I exercise in the morning, I'll have a little oatmeal, cereal, or a hard-boiled egg with toast. If I go in the afternoon, I'll eat a turkey sandwich with cheese for lunch.
Ana Ortiz
#7. One thing that happens when you're pregnant is that as your stomach starts to stretch. It itches! So I have to keep my belly really lubricated. Every morning, there's a buttering ceremony after I get out of the shower. It's really like basting a turkey with body butter.
Padma Lakshmi
#8. She had violated one of the basic tenets of any competent cook: she had purchased a turkey without comparing its size to the size of her oven.
Anna Quindlen
#9. There's a turkey shortage. Are you aware of that fact? There's also a gravy shortage. It's up to $4 a gallon. Governor Chris Christie wants to build a gravy pipeline.
David Letterman
#10. Hamburger steak is carrion, and quite unfit for food except by a turkey buzzard, a hyena, or some other scavenger.
John Harvey Kellogg
#11. Anyone in your family not a killer? (Syd)
After this I'm beginning to wonder if I don't have a serial mom. (Steele)
I wish. She should have beaten you to death with a turkey leg. (Tina)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#12. It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.
Russell Baker
#13. A turkey is fed for a thousand days by a butcher; every day confirms to its staff of analysts that butchers love turkeys "with increased statistical confidence.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
#14. And dressed her [Madonna] up like a turkey. After I read that stuff, I thought long and hard about what one would do to dress someone up like a turkey. And I nailed it. I figured you've got to get out the Playtex glove, blow it up and put the glove over the head.
Sean Penn
#15. What if every day, every human had a 1 percent chance of being turned into a turkey, and every turkey had a 1 percent chance of being turned into a human?
Randall Munroe
#16. The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
Dana Gould
#17. I'd known friends who went through this, the grim tracking of the ovulation cycle, the way making love becomes insemination, as romantic as a turkey baster. One of my college friends, in fact, had said she preferred the turkey baster. "I don't have to pretend that way,
Kristan Higgins
#18. What life and death may be to a turkey is not my business; but the soul of Scrooge and the body of Cratchit are my business.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
#19. Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
Dov Davidoff
#20. Although I am small, ugly and dirty, I am highly ambitious, and at the slightest flattery, I immediately start to strut like a turkey.
Italo Calvino
#21. I am going to host Thanksgiving myself and instead of a turkey I'm serving a big human butt.
Aimee Bender
#22. I will love you as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey.
Lemony Snicket
#23. Any woman who votes for no-fault divorce is like a turkey voting for Thanksgiving.
Pat Robertson
#24. He looked around at the chaos of the jacked-up children and then back at his nervous daughter. "I believe I'll stay, if you don't mind." What if she did mind? What if the idea of him watching her for the next two hours made her more nervous than a turkey at Thanksgiving?
RaeAnne Thayne
#25. When I'm not working, I would kill to have some sort of creative outlet other than, say, a coloring book. And when I'm working, I want to do all those things I was griping about - you know, make a turkey-and-cheese sandwich, put it in a zip-top bag, and stick it in a lunch box right now!
Angie Harmon
#26. Man does not live by a turkey in every oven or a color TV set in every home. Man lives by faith and hope and love, by the star on the horizon, by the trumpet that will not call retreat.
E. Merrill Root
#27. Save a life this Thanksgiving, and join me in starting a new tradition by adopting a turkey instead of eating one through Farm Sanctuary's Adopt-A-Turkey Project.
Ellen DeGeneres
#28. Few seem to be able to eat a turkey leg at Disneyland without splattering tsunami scale grease, so grab plenty of napkins or wear a bib, tablecloth or scuba suit.
Leslie Le Mon
#29. How can you wish on a turkey wishbone with a man who is capable of correcting a love letter?
Bel Kaufman
#30. Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter's house - obviously, they'll have a turkey with all-white meat.
Chelsea Handler
#31. I can't cook, but I can make a turkey and cheese sandwich like nobody else.
Kevin Hart
#32. When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat!
David Letterman
#33. By the time I got to kindergarten, I was surprised to find out I was the only kid with a turkey vulture.
Jean Craighead George
#34. Try this: say the words "global, global, global" aloud several times, as fast as you can. You'll find yourself sounding like a turkey ("gobble, gobble, gobble").
Jim Stanford
#35. Woo-hoo! This is gon' be a Turkey shoot!
Joe Castle
#37. My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.
Tracy Morgan
#38. I still don't have a turkey, Mason. It slid across the floor of the Piggly Wiggly and knocked over a tower of canned sweet potatoes.
Denise Grover Swank
#39. Big words from a guy who's trussed up like a turkey. What are you going to do, wobble over here like an upside- down turtle to snap me in half?"
"The logistics of breaking you are easy. The only question is when.
Susan Ee
#40. All us Youngs could throw. I used to kill squirrels with a stone when I was a kid, and my granddad once killed a turkey buzzard on the fly with a rock.
Cy Young
#41. Don't assume you're always going to be understood. I wrote in a column that one should put a cup of liquid in the cavity of a turkey when roasting it. Someone wrote me that 'the turkey tasted great, but the plastic cup melted.
Heloise
#42. It is not my intention to explain Turkey, its culture and its problems. My literature has a universal concern: I want to bring people and their emotions closer to my readers, not explain Turkish politics.
Orhan Pamuk
#43. But the blots, Turkey," intimated I. "True,-but, with submission, sir, behold these hairs! I am getting old. Surely, sir, a blot or two of a warm afternoon is not to be severely urged against gray hairs. Old age-even if it blot the page-is honorable. With submission, sir, we both are getting old.
Henry James
#44. Russia's now in the middle of a fierce confrontation with Turkey. And that's one of France's NATO allies.
Corey Flintoff
#45. We are not denying that Turkey has a right to defend itself from extremists but some of its actions are not serving any democratic purpose in Turkey or in Iraq. This will not benefit the relations between the two countries.
Jalal Talabani
#46. People tried and failed to combine the words Izzy and Ymir. The closest they came was Izmir, but that had been the name of a city in Turkey.
Neal Stephenson
#47. And it's significant that he has been using the, you know, language of betrayal in his rhetoric about Turkey. He called the shoot down a treacherous stab in the back by an accomplice of the terrorists. And that suggests that there could still be some harsh revenge in store for Turkey.
Corey Flintoff
#48. The truth is the Super Bowl long ago became more than just a football game. It's part of our culture like turkey at Thanksgiving and lights at Christmas, and like those holidays beyond their meaning, a factor in our economy.
Bob Schieffer
#49. Those looking from Europe see Turkey as an economic success, whereas others from the Middle East see Turkey as a democratic success.
Ali Babacan
#50. Here's what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey.
Kurt Vonnegut
#51. I never really liked meat. I was a child that had to be forced to eat my meat. Whatever you ate before that you loved like turkey slices they've got a substitute now that's not hard to find.
Masta Killa
#52. Tiny quails may not seem as impressive as a mammoth turkey, but there is something refreshing about a spread of individual birds on the Christmas table.
Yotam Ottolenghi
#53. I love to cook a meal for the so-called holidays. You always need the turkey. I like making a good BBQ brisket as well.
Action Bronson
#54. If you really love stuffing, wait until the turkey comes out of the oven, add some of the pan drippings to the stuffing, and bake it in a dish. That's called dressing, and that's not evil - stuffing is, though.
Alton Brown
#55. I tell foreign companies that come here ... 'Don't see Turkey as a country of 770,000 sq km and $800bn gross domestic product. This country has the potential to do so much business in the surrounding countries.'
Husnu Ozyegin
#56. boundbydad: thrust your fierce quavering manpole at me, stud
grayscale: your dastardly appendage engorges me with hellfire
boundbydad: my search party is creeping into your no man's land
grayscale: baste me like a thanksgiving turkey!!!
David Levithan
#57. We are convinced that Turkey would be a useful member of the European Union.
Martti Ahtisaari
#58. I've been intrigued by 'Le Monde' ever since work took me to Paris once, and I noted that on a day when there was some huge worldwide story, the paper led its front page on some cabinet changes in Turkey. It implied a magnificent disdain for the quotidian folderol of mere news.
Simon Hoggart
#59. I think the bottom line is that if you get through a childhood like mine, it's not at all bad. Obviously, you come out a pretty tough turkey, and you have had all the inoculations you need to keep you on a level keel for the rest of your life. The sad part is, most of us don't come out.
James A. Michener
#60. For the first time in our history, the winners of the White House Turkey Pardon were chosen through a highly competitive online vote. And once again, Nate Silver completely nailed it. The guy is amazing.
Barack Obama
#61. Rules are rules was stuffed into him from the crib like he was a Thanksgiving turkey.
James Marshall Smith
#62. My historical reading of the situation is that these great monolithic empires developed, Rome, Turkey, and so forth, and they always break down when enough people, and it's always the young, the creative, and minority groups drop out and go back to a tribal form.
Timothy Leary
#63. A man may grow rich in Turkey even, if he will be in all respects a good subject of the Turkish government.
Henry David Thoreau
#64. Well, after I had the heart attack, it was a very simple choice. What the doctor told me I did and I did it religiously. I ate nothing but lean turkey breast or chicken breast or a piece of fish that was very lean. I mean I stayed away from everything.
Mike Ditka
#65. The turkey's eyes are such that he can see a bumblebee turn a somersault on the verge of the horizon.
Archibald Rutledge
#66. But, Miss Spencer, I should strike a note of caution. I know there have been women archaeologists in Greece, in Turkey. Even Egypt. But this is Peshawar. Pathan men don't much like the idea of women ... '
'Don't much like the idea of women doing what?'
'Don't much like the idea of women.
Kamila Shamsie
#67. We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
Bo Burnham
#68. This (presidential) system will not bear any resemblance to dictatorships under the same name in Africa and Asia, (It) will be unique to Turkey, it will be like a bee making honey, taking something from every flower and giving us a taste of a truly different honey.
Recep Tayyip Erdogan
#69. There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They prefer to buy the bird live and then push it in front of a subway train.
David Letterman
#70. Peace is an Excellent Thing, and War is a great Misfortune. But there are Many things More valuable than Peace, and many Things Much worse than war. The maintenance of the Ottoman Empire belongs to the First Class, the Occupation of Turkey by Russia belongs to the Second.
Henry John Temple, 3rd Viscount Palmerston
#71. My family is a Jewish Iranian family, but I was born in Turkey and raised in Italy. So it's a very mixed background.
Nouriel Roubini
#72. The table was covered with food like roast chicken, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, roast turkey, roast liquorice and, the centrepiece, a roasted knight.
Elias Zapple
#73. When you look at belief in such things - as do you go to heaven, is there a devil - we have more in common with (Muslin countries) Turkey and Iran and Syria than we do with European nations and Canada and nations that, yes, I would consider more enlightened that us.
Bill Maher
#74. Authoritarianism, an unrealistic occidental imagination - these issues will never be settled. Turkey will continue to take Europe as a model; it will continue to pursue its search for democracy.
Orhan Pamuk
#75. Know what's worse than cold turkey? Just a little bump. One tiny sip to take the edge off. The edges never went away, they only got sharper. Every addict would tell you. Gray areas couldn't exist in a sober environment.
A. Zavarelli
#76. It is possible that his curiosity was piqued, for with the exception of a hen-turkey, a boy of nineteen is the most openly curious biped alive.
Robert W. Chambers
#77. It is time to recognize the past and ongoing genocides to prevent new ones. Together we can build a better world!
Widad Akreyi
#78. May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!
Grandpa Jones
#79. Turkey in general became too involved with what is happening in Egypt and in Syria. Some politicians with neo-Ottoman dreams developed this idea of being a major player in the Middle East, which hasn't gone as expected.
Elif Safak
#80. It had a sort of mixed flavor of cherry-tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy and hot buttered toast
Lewis Carroll
#81. Turkey's a NATO member. If Turkey gets attacked, we have to help defend Turkey.
Wesley Clark
#82. It occurred to him that spite was a kind of methadone for lovers. Was it better to go cold turkey? Perhaps not.
Stephen King
#83. Turkey is fine, but if I don't have the sides, forget about it. And cornbread stuffing is at the center of my plate. I will have about six sides and then a little bit of turkey and gravy.
Carla Hall
#84. The Ottoman Empire ... The rulers in Turkey were fortunately so corrupt that they left people alone pretty much - were mostly interested in robbing them - and they left them alone to run their own affairs ... with a lot of local self determination.
Noam Chomsky
#85. I have no desire to crow over anybody or to see anybody eating crow, figuratively or otherwise. We should all get together and make a country in which everybody can eat turkey whenever he pleases.
Harry S. Truman
#86. The only agency of the federal government with a more demoralized workforce than Homeland Security is the Small Business Administration, a notorious turkey farm that should have been abolished years ago.
Timothy Noah
#87. It is a fake, but a good fake. Turkey is the land of the masterful fake. But it is far far from that hateful little eighth-floor apartment huddling between the roar of the expressway and the blare of the mosque.
Ian McDonald
#88. The man was reportedly allowed to bring the turkey onboard as a therapy pet because it was an emotional support animal. It's so cute. It had one of those vests saying support animal, do not pet or baste.
Mike Pesca
#89. Ialways think it's funny when Indians celebrate Thanksgiving. I mean, sure, the Indians and Pilgrims were best friends during the first Thanksgiving, but a few years later, the Pilgrims were shooting Indians.
So I'm never quite sure why we eat Turkey like everybody else. (101)
Sherman Alexie
#90. In a normal democracy, you protect the individual from the excessive power of the state. In Turkey, power elites try to protect the state - as if this state were fragile and needed protection - when in fact, it's too powerful already.
Elif Safak
#91. My mother is a great hunter - she usually shoots our Thanksgiving turkey.
Kirsten Gillibrand
#92. Give up smoking cold turkey. Start a diet in the next 5 min. Accept that job right away. Life can be beautiful without planning!
Rossana Condoleo
#93. I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.
Amy Sedaris
#94. I want to make a memorial for our turkey. Never has a bird been so tortured to provide such a lousy dinner.
Laurie Halse Anderson
#95. I did a gig at a comedy club in Bournemouth where they served a buffet while the acts were on. There was the clang of people carving turkey during the set. If you put comedy and turkey side by side, turkey always wins.
Jack Whitehall
#96. Off this fucking predictable soap opera, this will happen now, then that, then that and you say that you are christian and you start watching series of Turkey people which believe in a very different god so far god of hell - Allah...
Deyth Banger
#97. The terrible announcement that the baby had been taken in the act of putting a doll's frying-pan into his mouth, and was more than suspected of having swallowed a fictitious turkey, glued on a wooden platter! The immense relief of finding this a false alarm! The joy, and gratitude, and ecstasy!
Charles Dickens
#98. Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It's a national tradition.
Eric Samuel Timm
#99. Forty percent of my portfolio is in the U.S. In the rest of the world, most of the places I invest in or invested in are Brazil, Russia, Germany with a little bit of Turkey, China, India, France and Israel sprinkled in there.
Fabrice Grinda
#100. THE APPROACH OF Thanksgiving on November 29 sent Springfield into a panic - not over the nation-imperiling crisis plaguing its leading citizen, but the apparently more dismaying prospect of a local turkey shortage.
Harold Holzer
