Pandas With Sayings

#1. So for some reason everybody makes this huge deal about pandas. I don't know why. They never actually do anything except eat and poop. But they're really famous." "Yeah," said Suzana. "They're like the Kardashians of zoo animals.

Dave Barry

#2. For better or worse, zoos are how most people come to know big or exotic animals. Few will ever see wild penguins sledding downhill to sea on their bellies, giant pandas holding bamboo lollipops in China or tree porcupines in the Canadian Rockies, balled up like giant pine cones.

Diane Ackerman

#3. Americans love marriage too much. We rush into mariage with abandon, expecting a micro-Utopia on earth. We pile all our needs onto it, our expectations, neuroses, and hopes. In fact, we've made marriage into the panda bear of human social institutions: we've loved it to death.

Barbara Ehrenreich

#4. Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always
high, and the results usually disappointing.

Robert Orben

#5. We use pandas and eagles and things. I'd love to see a wilderness society with an angry-looking wolverine as their logo.

E. O. Wilson

#6. Men look like pandas when they try and put make-up on.

Adam Ant

#7. Should she go on? Or drop it? Maybe this was one of those things that people should keep to themselves, like a hatred of baby pandas or a passion for polka music. Everyone needs a secret or two.

Gina Damico

#8. I thought the secret of life was obvious: be here now, love as if your whole life depended on it, find your life's work, and try to get hold of a giant panda.

Anne Lamott

#9. One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas?

Kelly Williams Brown

#10. I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.

Jim Gaffigan

#11. We went to a remote Panda Base which was insane because inside there were several cribs which held about twenty baby pandas. They were all different sizes and they were all lying there in a long row. It was so cute, I could hardly stand it. I wanted to take them all home with me.

Jennifer Yuh Nelson

#12. The Peace Panda Says ... all pandas are considered sacred and are originally from Tibet. They all love peace and sweet bamboo cookies!

Timothy Pina

#13. Those Grizzlies are more like pandas.

Charles Barkley

#14. The Peace Panda Says ... Pandas are as ancient as Tibet. Being that we are natural citizens there ... We share their wisdom too!

Timothy Pina

#15. Physically he was the connoisseur's connoisseur. He was a giant panda, Santa Claus and the Jolly Green Giant rolled into one. On him, a lean and slender physique would have looked like very bad casting.

Craig Claiborne

#16. I am glad that the life of pandas is so dull by human standards, for our efforts at conservation have little moral value if we preserve creatures only as human ornaments; I shall be impressed when we show solicitude for warty toads and slithering worms.

Stephen Jay Gould

#17. Think about it: You're trying to raise cash to save an endangered animal. You've got orphaned pandas getting 3 trillion YouTube hits, and you've got seals being clubbed over the head by roughnecks. The money flows in. But what about the poor shark?

Stephen Rodrick

#18. Despite what you may have been taught about Indians or Africans or ancient Celts, poor people are terrible stewards of their environment. For instance, if my kid were starving to death, I would happily feed her fresh panda.

Jonah Goldberg

#19. I couldn't have invented crisps ... I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps ... I invented apples ... I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil.

Noel Fielding

#20. The sad thing about destroying the environment is that we're going to take the rest of life with us. The bluebirds will be gone, and the elephants will be gone, and the tigers will be gone, and the pandas will be gone.

Ted Turner

#21. I'm really into pandas right now. They're really scratching an itch for me. They're so goddamn cute.

Nick Kroll

#22. everything in the world either is or isn't pandas

Jenny Lawson

#23. Gotta have a head like a wrecking ball, a spirit like one of them punching clown dummies that always weeble-wobbles back up to standing. This takes time. Stories need to find the right home, the right audience. Stick with it. Quitting is for sad pandas.

Chuck Wendig

#24. Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Dov Davidoff

#25. Our current royal family doesn't have the difficulties in breeding that pandas do, but pandas and royal persons alike are expensive to conserve and ill-adapted to any modern environment.

Anonymous

#26. There's no point bleating about the future of pandas, polar bears and tigers when we're not addressing the one single factor that's putting more pressure on the ecosystem than any other, namely the ever-increasing size of the world's population

Chris Packham

#27. Every time I mention her, Magnus says, "Are you two getting along?" in raised, hopeful tones, like we're endangered pandas who need to make a baby.

Sophie Kinsella

#28. I had an affinity for pandas. Something about clumsy vegetarians struck a chord with me.

Lish McBride

#29. My main regret in life is that there is no MacArthur Fellowship awarded in the field of Panda Satire.

Anne Belov

#30. I would have to hide in the jungle and live wild amoung the pandas

Diane Messidoro

#31. Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

Jim Jefferies