Top 66 My Sperm Quotes
#1. So, then why am I your son?" "Because Mom and I made love, and one of my sperm fertilized one of her eggs." "Excuse me while I regurgitate." "Don't act your age.
Jonathan Safran Foer
#2. As for yours truly, I've been sitting with my laptop atop a pillow on my lap to keep those wireless hotspot waveparticles from reaching my genitals and frying my sperm, searching up - with my employer's technology - myself, and Rach.
Joshua Cohen
#3. If I were not so highly ranked and mature for two hundred, I would test the genetics and make a point out of telling the male that he had been rejected in favor of my sperm."
"You're having a fantasy about that right now, aren't you?" Liam asked.
"Yes
Lyn Gala
#4. My sperm came out into the water, unaccustomed to the light, and instantly it became a misty, stringy kind of thing and swirled out like a falling star, and I saw a dead fish come forward and float into my sperm, bending it in the middle.
Richard Brautigan
#5. Did you just seriously ask me if the Northern Lights mutated my sperm?
Eve Langlais
#6. My dream is to have a baby, not to adopt one, because I am not up to it and I don't feel strong enough. I want my own child, a biological child, the fruit of my sperm, conceived through artificial insemination because it wouldn't make sense for me to make love to a woman I don't love.
Stefano Gabbana
#7. I suddenly had a vision of my sperm swimming around and talking in Bruce Willis's voice like in Look Who's Talking. Come on! Swim faster! This little shit has no idea we escaped from the condom! Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!
Tara Sivec
#8. But Ed Brubeck's a guy, like Vinny's a guy, and guys are all sperm-guns.
David Mitchell
#9. Fr. Benedict Groeschel says it in his uniquely northern New Jersey way: "Celibacy means that we belong exclusively to the Lord, from our brain cells to our sperm cells.
Dolan, Timothy M., Cardinal
#10. But when I gave bl0w jobs to my ex, I secretly hated it. What's pleasant about sucking on a stiff, veiny appendage that spurts pee and sperm?
Daria Snadowsky
#11. Mysticism was merely virility in a state of liquidation; sperm that had gone bad.
Pitigrilli
#12. Pott's, to whom I handed the work for translation, giving him a box of sperm candles
Herman Melville
#13. And as for the matter of the alleged uncleanliness of our business, ye shall soon be initiated into certain facts hitherto pretty generally unknown, and which, upon the whole, will triumphantly plant the sperm whale-ship at least among the cleanliest things of this tidy earth.
Herman Melville
#14. Just because you donate sperm does not make you a father. I don't have a father. I would never give him the credit or acknowledge him as my father.
Sarah Jessica Parker
#15. Being a laborer with one hand is about as useful as being a sperm donor with one nut.
Devon McCormack
#16. They grab you by the breasts, they pluck your derriere, they stuff you in a pot, they saute you with sperm, they grab you by the beak, they stick you in a house, they fatten you up on conjugal oil, they shut you up in your cage. And now, lay.
Helene Cixous
#17. Public opinion is to an unconventional idea ... what abortion is to sperm.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#18. An egg would rendezvous with a sperm one not-so-romantic night in a petri-dish, and cellular division would begin under the watchful eye of some goggle-wearing geek.
Emmie White
#19. Perhaps eggs are like neurons, which also are not replenished in adulthood: they know too much. Eggs must plan the party. Sperm need only to show up- wearing top hat and tails, of course.
Natalie Angier
#20. Why is luge a sport? You dress up like a giant sperm and go sledding really fast. That's hardly athletic. Phallic and sexy, yes. But hardly athletic.
Jessica Park
#21. I think it is always appropriate to end a conversation about sperm with a sweaty handshake.
Andrew Smith
#22. Holy shit ... but we were using condoms."
Pink tinged her cheeks. "Not the weekend at the lodge."
He leaned over and lowered his voice. "Yeah, but I pulled out."
Emma cocked her brows. "And you're Mr. Super Potent Sperm, remember?
Katie Ashley
#23. I suspect that I am the result of particularly weak conception on the part of my father. His sperm was probably emitted in a rather offhand manner.
John Kennedy Toole
#25. Writing is an act of love. If it is not it is only handwriting. It consists in obeying the driving force of plants and trees and in broadcasting sperm far around us.
The richness of the world is in its wastefulness.
Jean Cocteau
#26. Homo sapiens exhibits traits consistent with a long history of polygyny or monogamy, and a relative absence of sperm competition.
Alan F. Dixson
#27. Until it only gets weirder when Gus walks in the room and says, The sperm donor returns. How goes it, maestro? How was the journey from bean town?
Kim Holden
#28. Gabi to Marcus I can't believe out of one hundred thousand sperm, you were the fastest!
Cherise Sinclair
#30. I was born for a very specific purpose. I wasn't the result of of a cheap bottle of wine or a full moon or the heat of the moonent, I was born because a scientist managed to hook my mother's eggs and my fathers sperm to create a specific combination of precious genetic material
Jodi Picoult
#31. I challenge you to find a more innocuous sentence containing the words sperm, suction, swallow, and any homophone of seaman. And then call me up on the homophone and read it to me.
Mary Roach
#32. Rhett: Here's the problem. I am not the sexual equivalent of an espresso machine.
Rowena Cherry
#33. The air smelled of salt and frying fish, of hot tar and honey, of incense and oil and sperm.
George R R Martin
#34. He didn't say a word about the fact that her Vespa was nowhere in sight. "You know what this means, right?" he asked. "You're at my mercy." He grinned and she sighed. One hundred thousand sperm and he'd been the fastest.
-Chloe about Todd
Jill Shalvis
#35. With her fingers running back up my arms, and all this sperm talk, things are getting a little too intense down below. I lean slightly forward, conveniently placing my forearms across my lap.
Jay Asher
#36. To have my life accepted as just another ordinary life, to have it viewed as common and regular, was a singular moment.
Katherine A. Briccetti
#38. I didn't know then what a sperm was, and so wouldn't understand his answer for several years. "My boy," he said, "you are descended from a long line of determined, resourceful, microscopic tadpoles
champions every one.
Kurt Vonnegut
#39. Ah those knock-out body fluids: blood, sperm, tears!
Jean Genet
#40. Honey increases sperm count."
"Oh, you're so full of it. There's no scientific evidence to support that ridiculous statement."
"It's an auld Scottish belief.
Vonnie Davis
#41. We waste those eggs like crazy, of course, flushing them out every month in days of bleeding, but then most sperm are wholly useless as well, a thought to be considered elsewhere at greater length.
Siri Hustvedt
#42. The cloning procedure is similar to IVF. The only difference is that the DNA of sperm and egg would be replaced by DNA from an adult cell. What law or principle - secular, humanist, or religious - says that one combination of genetic material in a flask is OK, but another is not?
Nathan Myhrvold
#43. When sperm and egg unite, something goes from inanimate to animate. It is life.
Mitt Romney
#44. Stand up! Don't ever give up on this bitchy life.
Feel afraid is okay, but don't avoid competition.
You've done that thing even since you're a sperm.
You accept this and you are the surviving winner.
Toba Beta
#45. Where're we goin'?" he grumbled. "Across the street to grab a bite to eat. Everyone's waitin' on us." "Everyone?" Curtis frowned. "Yeah, you know, the other six who you donated sperm for." Curtis shook his head in disbelief. Some of the things that came out of his boys' mouths.
Nicole Edwards
#46. You should always look on human life as short and cheap. Yesterday sperm: tomorrow a mummy or ashes.
Marcus Aurelius
#47. It's not the heat," came his return mutter. "It's a critical buildup of sperm".
Linda Howard
#48. Gilgamesh's sperm! That is the true treasure . . . YOU CAN CREATE THE WORLD'S MIGHTIEST ARMY BY USING HIS SPERM!
Kazuo Koike
#49. You're just the sperm donor, Norm," he says, heading for the door. "That's all you were ever good for. Fucking sperm.
Jonathan Tropper
#50. Is that how you stay so fresh and young, drinking the sperm of teenage males?
Edmund White
#51. If you wanted kids, I hope you have some sperm in a bank someplace, because all your little soldiers have two heads now. Miller
James S.A. Corey
#52. Frogs. We all want their long tongues and jumping power, but aspiring superheroes rarely consider the benefits of growing up as sperm.
Bauvard
#53. If then, Sir William Jones, who read in thirty languages, could not read the simplest peasant's face in its profounder and more subtle meanings, how may unlettered Ishmael hope to read the awful Chaldee of the Sperm Whale's brow? I but put that brow before you. Read it if you can.
Herman Melville
#54. See? I harvested your seed; I burnt your sperm. Now you can't help yourself. You're mine.
Jaxy Mono
#55. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.
Lemony Snicket
#56. Releasing sperm into the vagina of a twenty-four-year-old does not a father make,
Colleen Hoover
#57. An idea has just come to me from nowhere, to wit: Might not the ancient and nearly universal belief that sperm could be metabolized into noble actions have been the inspiration for Einsten's very similar formula: 'E equals MC squared'?
Kurt Vonnegut
#58. How is it that you're such an expert on home pregnancy kits?"
You're asking that question of an Italian stallion like myself? The women call me 'sperm of thunder'. I don't dare stand too close for fear I may impregnate them with just a whiff of my manhood.
Jill Smolinski
#59. People forget we come from an embryo and we're part sperm and part ovary. We have both sides in us.
Michelle Rodriguez
#60. Is it wrong of me to propose a ceasefire agreement between humans and whales and dolphins, I know it is in actuality a one sided massacre, but so was Bosnia and there the ceasefire is holding, so would it be nice to have a declaration backing a ceasefire between us mammals?
Steve Merrick
#61. He had fallen for Cal like a sperm-whale failing to clear the Grand Canyon on a bicycle.
Jodi Taylor
#62. But the main point is that he still had swimmers in his sacks."
"Excuse me?"
"You know, luv. Sperm, if you want to be all technical about it. He still had living sperm in his juice."
Cat and Bones
Jeaniene Frost
#63. my skin listening
still no accompanist:
I can't kiss me!
and the sperm's tempo
always insisting
Andrew Demcak
#65. Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
William Golding
#66. Let all your crew pull strong, come what will. (Spring, my men, spring!) There's hogsheads of sperm ahead, Mr. Stubb, and that's what ye came for. (Pull, my boys!) Sperm, sperm's the play! This at least is duty; duty and profit hand in hand.
Herman Melville
