Top 100 My Girlfriend Is Quotes
#1. If I'm in a relationship and my girlfriend is sleeping with other people, I don't need to know who it is; I just want to know how she feels about it.
Ben Folds
#2. My girlfriend is much better than I am at working hard then resting, and she demands that from me, too. She insists on having time when we don't do anything. We leave the housework and watch a movie.
Cynthia Nixon
#3. My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.
Anthony Jeselnik
#4. My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She's tied up in the trunk this very moment.
Jarod Kintz
#6. No, my girlfriend is sad and quiet and keeps me up all night worrying about her.'
'Bummer. Sounds like you need a different girlfriend.
Rainbow Rowell
#8. My girlfriend is rap. Music and albums and records and my kids.
Mystikal
#9. My girlfriend is sad and quiet and keeps me up all night worrying about her.
Rainbow Rowell
#10. My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn". Every now and then I screw up, I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long.
Mitch Hedberg
#11. My girlfriend is a fashion designer. She has her own company called Rachel Antonoff. She is doing a collaboration with Urban Outfitters right now, a shoe collaboration with Bass. She sells to Barneys, stuff like that.
Nate Ruess
#12. And I don't want you thinking that my girlfriend is a bad person. She is an amazing woman, the fact that I only have seven stories about her in eight years, says a lot. You know, don't get me wrong, five of them happened this year, but that's still way below the bar, you know what I am saying.
Gabriel Iglesias
#13. My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.
Anthony Jeselnik
#14. My mouth went dry. I imagined Annabeth invoking hieroglyphs at Camp Half-Blood, blowing up chariots on the racetrack, hurling giant blue fists during capture the flag. 'So my girlfriend is a magician now, like, permanently? Because she was scary enough before.
Rick Riordan
#15. My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep.
Anthony Jeselnik
#16. My girlfriend is a great support, and I've got a big circle of mates who keep my feet on the ground.
Rob James-Collier
#17. My girlfriend is a party girl angel who can kick some arse and cook.
Wendy Higgins
#18. Tucker: I'm glad it happened. because then I got to know who you really are.
Clara: Oh yeah? Who am I?
Tucker: A really, really spiritual, spoiled California chick.
Avery: Shut up.
Tucker: It's cool though. My girlfriend is an angel.
Cynthia Hand
#19. You want to take me to a movie?" I asked.
"Well, not really," he said. "What I really want is for you to be my girlfriend. But I thought saying that might scare you off.
Sarah Dessen
#20. I would like to have a girlfriend who is more mature than my mental age.
Yuki
#21. My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian ...
Jimmy Carr
#22. The marathon is my only girlfriend. I give her everything I have.
Toshihiko Seko
#23. My idea of hell is a girlfriend ringing up and saying, 'Let's go shopping and have cocktails.' I'd rather play cards.
Alison Moyet
#24. Like my girlfriend Denisha is always saying (she's an Episcopalian), some of Jesus' best friends were sex workers.
Sarah Lotz
#25. Parking's expensive, so I walk or ride my bike, which is good because my girlfriend's getting her PhD as an environmental engineer.
Chaz Bundick
#26. Dash is for sure straight!" Boomer announced. "He has a super-pretty ex-girlfriend named Sofia, who I think he still has a thing for, and also, in seventh grade, there was a game of spin the bottle and it was my turn and I spun and it landed at Dash, but he wouldn't let me kiss him.
David Levithan
#27. It's rumored that Arnold Schwarzenegger's son is cheating on his girlfriend Miley Cyrus. After hearing about it Arnold said, 'That's my boy.'
Conan O'Brien
#28. I've moved before I realize I'm going to, and suddenly Stephanie is in my arms and I'm carrying my fake girlfriend through the Upper West Side as she mutters threats in my ear, and even though my delicate little flower is cursing up a storm, I find myself grinning.
Lauren Layne
#29. Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!
Greg Giraldo
#30. This is what my girlfriend would look like without skin.
David Bischoff
#31. I like storms. I like thunder and lightning. What I do during a storm is shag my girlfriend and pretend that we're taking part in the conception of the Antichrist.
Frankie Boyle
#32. Beauty, my first girlfriend said to me, is that inner quality often associated with great amounts of leisure time.
Dorothy Allison
#33. Cadence Taylor is my girlfriend and no matter what the people walking around us think, I'm going to treat her that way.
Melyssa Winchester
#34. Girlfriend and 100 Percent Fun were my two peeks, around '92 and '96. The reality is that the times I had the most media success, sold lots of records and played bigger shows, I had the least control of my own life.
Matthew Sweet
#35. I have one girlfriend who is dating right now - she's divorced - and she's on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that's not a real game, but it's my favorite thing to do.
Aisha Tyler
#36. I have the loving support of my girlfriend who still attends Wake Forest and is nearing graduation. She helps me cope with the everyday rigors of being an NBA player.
Tim Duncan
#37. I feel like for me the lyric writing really comes from just what's going on in my heart and that's what consumes me; think a lot of our heart is relationships. Not just with boyfriend or girlfriend but all your relationships in your life with other people and our interactions with other humans.
Amy Lee
#38. I hang on to the statement of scientists that there is no time. Therefore, join me in telling everyone you are thirty-two. This allows me to go after young men and plan grabbing husbands from my girlfriends. Choosing to live in the timeless, I am now at the easiest and happiest time of my life.
Beatrice Wood
#39. We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny.
Zach Galifianakis
#40. One of us," said Malcolm, "is worth five hundred of you. I can burn you to the ground in six seconds flat and use the ashes to stuff a teddy bear for my girlfriend. Not that I have a girlfriend at the moment," he added, "but one lives to hope.
Cassandra Clare
#41. She stared into my eyes. "Oh shit. You idiot. You totally did! You fell in love with the porn star!" She groaned, leaning back and sliding down in her chair. "Oh God, this is worse than I thought. When you let loose, you really go all out, don't you girlfriend? Holy crapola.
Mia Sheridan
#42. I thought that one was going to hit me," I said, watching the disappointed girl stalk off into the crowd. "Being your girlfriend is dangerous."
"What can I say? I'm a magnificent specimen of manhood. Of course they all want me. But I do appreciate you protecting my honor.
Kylie Scott
#43. My work is always more emotional than I am. My characters say things to each other that I get accused of not being able to say to my girlfriend.
Adam Rapp
#44. 'Fiancee' is a very fun word to say, because I never thought I would have a fiancee or be a fiancee. Sometimes when I would introduce myself and say, 'This is my girlfriend Melanie,' it wasn't always clear what I meant. Now I get to say, 'This is my fiancee Melanie.'
Kirsten Vangsness
#45. In entertainment, I adore Ricky Gervais in 'Derek.' His performance is unbelievably charming, funny and poignant. In life, I adore my girlfriend. She is the most adorable person I have ever met - from her silly jokes to her cute teeth to her little drawings.
Josh Zuckerman
#46. I love to cook and really enjoy cleaning my house. People always tease me about getting a maid. My girlfriend tells me that they are only $40 and will do everything. But that is my time to unwind, put my hair in a ponytail, throw on sweats, and be myself.
Amy Weber
#47. With the media how it is these days, people expect to know everything. I don't talk about my girlfriend because essentially she doesn't want to be talked about.
Anton Du Beke
#48. Most of my ex-girlfriends are still close friends. I guess when you are with someone that long, unless they did something really terrible to you, you remain friends. My real estate business is run by my best friend, who is an ex-girlfriend.
Ryan Kavanaugh
#49. first of all she's not my girlfriend second of all denmark is a PRISON
Mallory Ortberg
#50. My God you're sexy," Travis said, propping his head up with his hand. "The most beautiful woman at Eastern is my girlfriend. That's insanity.
Jamie McGuire
#51. Who's my date" the Colonel asked.
*You're girlfriend is your date"
"All right" he said, and then deadpanned "but we don't get along very well
John Green
#52. I've always felt it's ridiculous to say, of any of the females in my life: You're my friend, you're my wife, you're my girlfriend, you're my co-worker. This is your box, and you're not allowed to stray outside of it.
Jack White
#53. Oh dear," said my mother, turning to Marmie and going "Ce Justin, est-il gai?" (This Justin, is he gay?)
Marmie handed her a hot chocolate and shrugged. "Qui sait? Je ne suis pas se petite amie." (Who knows? I'm not his girlfriend.)
Sarah Strohmeyer
#54. My girlfriend and I never let each other forget how much we love each other. It's all about reminding the other person how important and special she is to you.
Tyler Hoechlin
#55. I think I'm a really good girlfriend, and I think that I could be a really good wife. I know that I love being able to give my love out to someone. I know there is somebody great out there for me.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
#56. I lost a girlfriend when I was in my 30s. She was 46. It all sounds so trite, but I put a Post-it on my dressing-room wall. It said, 'The past is history. The future is a mystery. This moment is a gift, which is why it's called the present.'
Samantha Bond
#57. George Eliot is my only steady girlfriend. We go to bed together every night.
Peter O'Toole
#58. They can say whatever they want about my personal life because I know what my personal life is, and it involves a lot of TV and cats and girlfriends.
Taylor Swift
#59. Amazingly similar in the execution. A bow pulled, an arrow shot. Entirely different in the aftermath. I killed a boy whose name I don't even know. Somewhere his family is weeping for him. His friends call for my blood. Maybe he had a girlfriend who really believed he would come back ...
Suzanne Collins
#60. The burn is my girlfriend, failure is my ex. I'm married to the track and engaged to success.
Andre Bramble
#61. When I was a kid, there were some people around me who were a bad influence. When I met my girlfriend Sofia, who is now my wife, I think it all changed. She was very important for me, because she steered me back on to the path I wanted to be on.
Luis Suarez
#62. In my position, I think the best thing I do is just keep girlfriend involved.
Kid Ink
#63. A dream my girlfriend and I have is to move to New York for a year or two because we just love the city. I would take some acting classes.
Daniel Bruhl
#64. Shah Rukh is not my girlfriend that I should remember him. When I don't remember my past girlfriends, what will I remember Shah Rukh for?
Salman Khan
#65. Still, he was another guy in the house, and Mom was mine first, and her being my mom is a thousand times more important than her being some guy's girlfriend. So even though Booth wasn't trying to run the show, he was still in the way.
Jack Gantos
#66. When we meet, I'm interested and I'm curious about what he's doing because he's burning a number from a client. And I'm like, 'Who is this?' and my girlfriend's like, 'That's a drug dealer. Stay away from him.'
Rosario Dawson
#67. My girlfriend's dad runs the Prostate Centre on Wimpole St. in London, and he's chairman of Prostate U.K., which I think is the second-largest prostate cancer charity in Britain.
Christian Cooke
#68. I'm married to football, baseball is my girlfriend.
Deion Sanders
#69. Beauty is a hard thing. Beauty is a mean story. Beauty is slender girls who die young, fine-featured delicate creatures about whom men write poems. Beauty, my first girlfriend said to me, is that inner quality often associated with great amounts of leisure time. And I loved her for that.
Dorothy Allison
#70. A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
Anthony Jeselnik
#71. So Jace is my actual family," Kit said. "But I can't go live with him, because him and his hot girlfriend are going off on some sort of secret mission."
"Guess you Herondales have a type," Julian muttered.
Cassandra Clare
#72. She is my girlfriend, I can do whatever I want to her. In fact, I'm going to take her home and fuck her from here to eternity, how about that?
Ani San
#73. And now," Eric yelled into his mircophone, "we're going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one's for my girlfriend. We've been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We're gonna be together forever, baby. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum.
Cassandra Clare
#74. To the stupidity of men, " Dakota said, raising a glass. "And my brother, who is their king.
Susan Mallery
#75. Girlfriend isn't enough to describe you, Tate. That term is disposable. You're not my girlfriend, my girl, or my woman. You're. Just. Mine,
Penelope Douglas
#76. You know, I have guys that are almost stalkers ... it is very strange. I had this one guy that e-mailed me off my site, and thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He then came to my house in London, I do not know how he found it.
Caprice Bourret
#77. I had a dream about you. You was a crocodile and i was always looking for you with fear. Your teeth were alabaster and your skin green as grass. Unfortunate you had already a girlfriend. And i hoped she finish like a handbag. I love you from my all reptile heart, which is poikilothermic.
Kattie Belgar
#78. My song is ya girlfriend's wakin up ringer ... or alarm or whateva. She'll be here at 6 in the morn if I let her
Drake
#79. She's my wife, not my girlfriend. Maybe for her it is better. For me, she's still the same girl, just my wife
Nikolay Davydenko
#80. Marilyn Monroe is pissing me off, Charlie Chaplin owes me twenty bucks, that fucker Shrek tried to fuck my girlfriend at Baskin Robbins.
David Louden
#81. So let me get this straight."I rub my nose."You've brought me out to hunt and kill animals with my bare hands?"A smile ghosts his face. He scratches his cheek. "Well teeth, but basically, yes."Oh God. This is his idea of going out? No wonder he hasn't got a girlfriend.
Samantha Towle
#82. I always used to say to my ex-girlfriends that I could never take a good photograph of them, because there was too much of an intimacy between us, but actually the real thing is, if there's a proper intimacy between you ... I find it really compelling and exciting - it's quite good foreplay.
Rankin
#83. I got shingles from my ex girlfriend. But that's to be expected, since she is a roofer.
Jarod Kintz
#84. The next person that shows my girlfriend a picture of me wearing one of Mom's bras is a dead man!
R.L. Mathewson
#85. I really just want to do the best at everything I do. I just want to have all the great people around me that I feel is family, as well as my friends, and I have an amazing girlfriend. I think having love in your life is most important.
Evan Ross
#86. My main motivation for staying in the spotlight at all is, I don't want to just be known for being involved in 'Playboy,' or having been Hugh Hefner's girlfriend - I hate that. I like to show I can do other things and take on other challenges. That's my main motivation.
Holly Madison
#87. My girlfriend Siri is a food blogger, and we both love to entertain and eat. This is what happens when you're in your thirties: what was once a passion and real appetite for nightlife in New York City manifests itself into other things, like entertaining at home.
Carson Daly
#88. Why, god, why? Why have you deserted me in my moment of need? I'm going to die. I'm going to internally combust never knowing what if feels like to be inside of my girlfriend.
Life is so unfair.
Cheryl McIntyre
#89. My math is never sharper as when I meet an old girlfriend with a kid.
Kelsey Grammer
#90. Music is my wife, and acting is my girlfriend.
Mark Salling
#91. I was never fond of this boyfriend-girlfriend game. Outsmart me, make me feel challenged and I can walk with you forever but to act like love smitten puppies in love is not my thing.
Parul Wadhwa
#92. My favorite thing to do is to wind those guys up by hitting on their girlfriends. I say, 'I think your girlfriend's gorgeous, but it's all right, I'm gay.' They get very nervous after a few minutes!
Adam Garcia
#93. Me, I'm late to meet my girlfriend. Annabeth is going to kill me.
Hope you enjoyed the stories. Stay safe out there, demigods.
Peace from Manhattan,
Percy Jackson
Rick Riordan
#95. I think your girlfriends getting Jealous," Luce said, gesturing at the pair.
"Which one?" He asked.
"I didn't realise they were both your girlfriends."
"Neither is my girlfriend. I meant, which one did you think was my girlfriend?
Lauren Kate
#96. My wife - I married my onscreen girlfriend from 'Growing Pains', Mike Seaver's girlfriend, and we've been married for 17 years - so marriage is very important to us.
Kirk Cameron
#97. One of the things I've tried to do with my life is redefine the boundaries that I think are very limiting. I'm not suggesting that everybody should have three girlfriends, or necessarily have girlfriends living with them. I think there are many, many options to living your life.
Hugh Hefner
#98. All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. 'Oh, David, it's so hard.' That's not hard. I'll tell you what hard is. Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that's hard, that takes finesse. You're just inconvenienced.
David Cross
#99. I think the qualities I look for in a girl I'd like to be my girlfriend would be the way Lindsay's character is before she becomes a plastic. Very real.
Jonathan Bennett
#100. I don't date Janet Jackson. She is my girlfriend; there is a difference. She is a very special and talented woman who never ceases to amaze me.
Wissam Al Mana
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