Top 100 Mattress Quotes
#1. She was a Jew feeder without a question in the world on that man's first night in Molching. She was an arm reacher, deep into a mattress, to deliver a sketchbook to a teenage girl. (84.25)
Markus Zusak
#2. I have dreamed of our bed as if it were a shore where we would be washed up, not this striped mattress we must cover with sheets. [from "After an Absence"]
Linda Pastan
#3. AMPLE make this bed. Make this bed with awe; In it wait till judgment break Excellent and fair. Be its mattress straight, Be its pillow round; Let no sunrise' yellow noise Interrupt this ground.
Emily Dickinson
#4. One time Robert Plant was set to check into the same room after I checked out, so I removed every light bulb and ordered up a bunch of stinky cheese and put it under the mattress.
Richard Marx
#5. He remembered himself sitting naked on one side of the mattress, in a room he was suddenly aware he was never again to see. He had not argued; in the wake of his shame, he became strangely efficient and agreeable, with her, with everyone.
Jhumpa Lahiri
#6. Self-pity in its early stage is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable. Curly
Maya Angelou
#7. My first professional gig was 'Once Upon a Mattress' at the Drury Lane Oakbrook ... I was in the ensemble. I was one of the ladies in waiting, and I covered Winnifred.
Jessie Mueller
#8. Rui bit out something raw and primitive. He raised his head and she saw his animal in his eyes, a rich, wild gold, and then the room spun and she was on the mattress, his big body covering hers...
Rebecca Rivard
#9. I close my eyes, knowing that afterward we will fall asleep together on our small mattress, as we do every night, listening to the wind in the palm trees outside our window, believing in our thick dreams that we are capable of nothing cruel.
Andrew Porter
#10. It is a well known urban myth that the French don't trust banks and store their money under their mattress. It's not that they are tight with money - they just don't trust anyone.
Janine Di Giovanni
#11. He follows a man with a rolled up mattress strapped to his back. When he stepped down from the train into the brutalising glare of the searchlights in the marshalling yard he noticed two SS soldiers pointing at this man and laughing.
Glenn Haybittle
#12. A comfortable mattress matters to me. A fresh coat of paint matters to me. Under-cabinet lighting matters to me. I do not want them to matter to me. But
Erin Loechner
#13. What do you call a hundred blondes stacked on top of each other? An air mattress.
Various
#14. I've been performing my whole life. My mom signed me up for a theater program when I was five - I was the evil queen in 'Once Upon a Mattress.'
Lilla Crawford
#15. America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.
Jackie Mason
#16. I have an air mattress. It's great because if someone tries to suffocate me in bed I can just poke a hole in it and use it to stay alive.
Demetri Martin
#17. He sits in his tomb up top of the Newport hotel. It contains a crunchy armchair, a floppy bed, several arrogant spiders, a mattress with stains the shapes of planets and an existential crisis. But he wouldn't want to sound too French about it.
Kevin Barry
#18. She was, after all, a mattress owner and understood the subtleties of life.
Ilya Ilf
#19. New belt out of your arms. Could a' stuffed my mattress with your silky brown hair." He
Beth Lewis
#20. Smiling, Vixen sat up and kneeled at the edge of the mattress. "Mmmm ... I missed you." She said, and grabbed me by the waist band, and pulled me on top of her.
J.D. Stroube
#21. Hey" V said into the darkness.
"Hey"
V went forward, rounding the foot of the bed, using the wall to navigate. Lowering his ass onto the mattress, he sat beside his best friend.
J.R. Ward
#22. According to Mattress Mattie you couldn't make money in bed by yourself, so I had no choice but to get wet and dirty.
Liliana Hart
#23. But these matters did not annoy him. It is almost certain that if the boat capsized he would have tumbled comfortably out upon the ocean as if he felt sure that it was a great soft mattress.
Stephen Crane
#24. But even in a telephone booth
evil can seep out of the receiver
and we must cover it with a mattress,
and then tear it from its roots
and bury it,
bury it.
Anne Sexton
#25. He ducks and pulls my panties down, and before I know it his mouth is covering me right where I'm throbbing. I'm coming off the mattress, tugging on his hair, and he is moaning like he loves it.
Ella James
#26. As a kid, I pretty much got nothing but scorn, and occasionally active animus, for writing fantasy and squirreling it away in my closet and, later, under the mattress supports in my bed.
Sherwood Smith
#27. There was a mattress, discolored and waterlogged, like a cartoon-strip drunk slumped against a pole.
Philip Roth
#28. Lying on a feather mattress or quilt will not bring you renown.
Leonardo Da Vinci
#29. She's not a saint, and she's not what you think She's an actress, whoa She's better known for the things that she does on the mattress
Taylor Swift
#30. Liberty," boomed Wednesday, as they walked to the car, "is a bitch who must be bedded on a mattress of corpses.
Neil Gaiman
#31. Grover started to sniffle and I figured if I didn't cheer him up he'd either start bawling or chewing up my mattress. He tends to eat household objects whenever he gets upset.
Rick Riordan
#32. White clouds gather and billow. Thin grass does for a mattress, The blue sky makes a good quilt. Happy with a stone underhead Let heaven and earth go about their changes.
Gary Snyder
#33. Got plans for the rest of the day ?"
"No plans," I whispered. Test drive your mattress? Let me pretend to be a Skittle and you can taste my rainbow? Fifty Shades me? Please ! Oh, holy horror, I'm freaking losing it.
Christine Zolendz
#34. Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
Jim Backus
#35. A word of advice: If you get the choice between the upper and lower bunks in a cell, choose the lower. Prisons do not turn off their lights at night, and I spent a sleepless night, without a mattress, with a five-hundred-watt bulb shining directly into my eyes.
William Powell
#36. Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last night, Michelle made him sleep on Air Mattress One.
Jimmy Fallon
#37. Closing his eyes, he made it about fifteen minutes before his tossing and turning rode those pj bottoms so far up his crotch he felt like he could cough flannel.
If he was doing the mattress and pillow thing, he usually slept naked and now he knew why.
This was f'in ridiculous.
J.R. Ward
#38. What does she look like?" Sin asked.
"Like she'd look good on a mattress."
Sin jammed her fists on her hips. "That tells me nothing, and aren't you mated?"
"I'm also a sex demon. I didn't go blind when I took a mate.
Larissa Ione
#39. It's hard to sleep when you have thirty two million quids worth of stolen jewellery hidden under the mattress.
Peter Houston
#40. I've always wanted to know what it was like to fuck a cult figure,' the Royal Porcupine said reflectively. He was lying on his mattress, watching me as I scrubbed the dog blood off my belly with a corner of his shirt, dipped in the toilet. He didn't have a sink. 'Well,
Margaret Atwood
#41. Arthur prodded the mattress nervously and then sat on it himself: in fact he had very little to be nervous about, because all mattresses grown in the swamps of Sqornshellous Zeta are very thoroughly killed and dried before being put to service. Very few have ever come to life again.
Douglas Adams
#42. Some man would come to her room. Maybe she would hesitate, and he'd grab her, pin her to the mattress, force her to cooperate.
Cherise Sinclair
#43. After which, he visited the wife of that fool Wallace and spent midnight till dawn bouncing her from one end of the mattress to the other.
David Hewson
#44. For me," mused Dandelion, "a mattress without a young woman isn't a mattress at all. It is incomplete happiness ...
Andrzej Sapkowski
#46. Dizzy, chilly, and beat, Raven collapsed on her bed. She rolled over, sensing a pea under the mattress. Typical Orientation Week prank. She dug around, found the pea, and tossed it across the room.
Shannon Hale
#47. The one-eyed man watched them go, and then he went through the iron shed to his shack behind. It was dark inside. He felt his way to the mattress on the floor, and he stretched out and cried in his bed, and the cars whizzing by on the highway only strengthened the walls of his loneliness.
John Steinbeck
#48. Only once did Lori glimpse such an entity, supine on a mattress in the corner of its boudoir. It was naked, corpulent and sexless, its sagging body a motley of dark, oily skin and larval eruptions that seeped phosphorescence, soaking its simple bed.
Clive Barker
#49. Sat on his mattress and raised the shirt to his face. Inhaled slowly, closing his eyes. Time seemed to slow down, and all his stress bled away. His dick hardened.
Anonymous
#50. Consider, O Lord, how You sit atop the sky;
like a man in a glass bottom boat.
Consider sky elsewhere; worn thin as a mattress.
Cecilia Llompart
#51. A jealous wife is like a hornets' nest in your mattress
Robert Jordan
#52. This could be heaven or this could be hell'?"
"A lot will depend on the mattress.
Josh Lanyon
#53. You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Jeff Foxworthy
#54. The trade is meaningless. It is like trading a used mattress for a $300 bill.
Hunter S. Thompson
#55. The recess beneath the counter in which his flock mattress was thrust, looked like a grave.
Charles Dickens
#56. Without turning on the light, I went to my bed and lay down, my arm thrown across the mattress, my hand aching because Grace wasn't underneath it
Maggie Stiefvater
#57. Whatcha got for us today, Miss?" the oldest one asks.
"I want you to move everything out of unit four."
"Everything?"
"Yes. Except the brown chair in the living room." I open the door to the building. "On second thought, leave the mattress, too
Lori Nelson Spielman
#58. I tried not to look as if I was hiding a handsome young lad under the mattress.
Alyxandra Harvey
#59. How do you keep a mattress on the roof of your car from flying?"
"Yeah, well, I don't know how many people know it, but a lot of people have learned that putting your arm up there to hold the mattress is not going to work.
Tom Magliozzi
#60. Ty crawled over him again, pressing him to the mattress and kissing him until they were both breathless. "I'll make sure of it tonight. Now get your ass in gear, let's go get legalized.
Abigail Roux
#61. He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Fred Allen
#62. Son, you walked into the den of a master. If you aren't able to extol the virtues of your mattress, Mara will guide you to one that you are. So, while you're here, you need to let Mara show you our Spring Deluxe
Kristen Ashley
#63. Thanks for the reminder that i have to hit the gym today. I have'nt worked out in days.
Unless one counted mattress gymnastics!!!
Sylvia Day
#64. Everyone wants to be the one to get the mattress pad ... We can do this. We all love to do. The more we can do, the less we have to sit and stare at trees and think about the transient nature of life. - 131
Robin Romm
#65. I wasn't sure if I was charmed by his reluctance to share a bed with a girl or insulted that, apparently, I wasn't hot enough for him to charge the mattress like a bull.
Maggie Stiefvater
#66. The word "mistress" sounds like a cross between mistake and mattress.
Lisa Kleypas
#67. I was about to ask about it when Daniel flopped down on the mattress. He pulled off his shoes and went for the zipper of his jumpsuit. A flash of panic went through my body. I turned my head and lowered my gaze.
"Don't worry prescious," Daniel said "I'm not going to violate your virgin eyes.
Bree Despain
#68. The next morning, Angie woke with the sun ... Her eyes felt gritty and swollen.
Once again she'd watered her mattress with memories.
Kristin Hannah
#69. Was it all inevitable, John?" Reeve was pushing his fingers across the floor of the cell, seated on his haunches. I was lying on the mattress.
Yes," I said. "I think it was. Certainly, it's written that way. The end of the book is there before the beginning's hardly started.
Ian Rankin
#70. I crawled between the mattress and the padded bedstead and let the mattress fall across me like a tombstone. It felt dark and safe under there, but the mattress was not heavy enough. It needed about a ton more weight to make me sleep.
Sylvia Plath
#71. The door opens behind me, and I'm so busted. Jamie towels off his hair. He looks down at the mattress. "Never thought of that," he says. The towel lands on our unused desk chair, and then he yanks his mattress down, too.
Sarina Bowen
#72. I always put clothes and family photos under the mattress, in case the house burns down.
Kim Kardashian
#73. He started low and remained there, sure that safety embraced felicity on a mattress of obscurity. He knew that vertical activity invited dazzling exposure, and that to seek is to be sucked. He recognized loneliness as the mother of virtues and sat in her lap whenever he could.
David Ohle
#74. The stains on the mattress. Like dried flower petals. Not recent. Old love; there's no other kind of love in this room now.
Margaret Atwood
#75. I don't live in D.C. I keep an air mattress in my office.
Kevin McCarthy
#76. This thing got a pump?" he asked as he pulled the heavy air mattress out."No, Ty, you have to blow it up," Deuce answered in a flat voice. "We'll take turns, should have it done by August (Armed & dangerous)
Abigail Roux
#77. My fays shall lullaby you as we cuddle up on my mattress of dandelion down.
Angela Carter
#78. It is immoral that a mattress should have so much power. Triumph of that which yields over that which strikes with lightning. But never mind, glory to the mattress which annuls a cannon!
Victor Hugo
#79. I hardly think a girl is much of a threat. I presume you searched her for weapons? But if she attempts to suffocate me with her straw mattress, I promise to call out for help.
Mary Hoffman
#80. Then before I knew it, his considerable girth was inside me, stretching my virgin passage almost to the point of tearing, and he was thrusting into me as if he were trying to drive me completely through the mattress to the floor beneath.
Cristina Rayne
#81. It is Veterans Day, when we honor everyone who served in all of the campaigns. We honor them with dignity and respect, and of course mattress sales and tire discounts.
Craig Ferguson
#82. When my cell phone rang, I'd just finished cutting up my marriage mattress.
Claire Cook
#83. His three wives are huddled together on the bare mattress, one of them dying; when we're together, we form an alliance he can't touch. He's scared to even try.
Lauren DeStefano
#84. Sometimes the autobiographical link in each story is very literal, like I did work at The Texas School for the Blind, and I did once lose a mattress out of the back of a friend's truck.
Arthur Bradford
#85. If the mattress stains were anything to go by, a previous user had not so much suffered from incontinence as rejoiced in it.
Bill Bryson
#86. All of the jinn had refused to manifest a mattress for him, but the skag lay on the stone floor as though it were a king's bed.
Heather Demetrios
#87. Soapland, where a guy lies on a waterproof mattress and a woman covers them both in soapy water and slides all over him. You can pay extra for additional services
Aziz Ansari
#88. London meant a new beginning, a hell-hole, a wonderland; too big, too foul; a safety blanket, point of pride, unfortunate problem, temporary mattress location, salvation, life's work. A place to stack empty tins of lager. Stage, Mecca, my water, my oxygen. London as cell, jail and favour.
Craig Taylor
#89. I live a good life but a pretty simply life. I just store all my money under my mattress. My wife and I travel, and I bought my dream car, the Cobra.
Aaron Paul
#90. I don't need anything to live, to be honest. Give me a mattress or a futon on the floor and I'll be the happiest camper.
Ricky Martin
#91. I lay on that mattress and I knew you'd find me. I ran through those woods, Tate, and I knew you'd be looking for me. I was shouting because I knew you'd hear me. And I ran right into you because you were coming for me.
Kristen Ashley
#92. Books are messengers of freedom. They can be hidden under a mattress or smuggled into slave nations.
Daniel J. Boorstin
#93. I ache and I think the only thing that will stop it is you f%#king me into the mattress."
"Okay, no more porn for you." Ray crawled onto the bed between Piper's thighs.
Piper snickered.
Jambrea Jo Jones
#94. Together they sank onto the mattress, lying face-to-face. The bed was too narrow for two, but Alan would've been entwined as close as possible with her even if they were lying in his parents' huge tester bed, the one his Dutch grandfather, a wealthy merchant, had brought over from Amsterdam.
Bonnie Dee
#95. I don't want to hear any bullshit about how 'forgiveness' helps you sleep better at night,' because that's not true. (My seven layer mattress is amazing.)
Whitney Gracia Williams
#96. bedroom, on her part of the soiled mattress, Dorthea stared out the window at a perfect moonlit view of Sunny Slope Manor.
Timothy Patrick
#97. And it's only symbolism puts magic and meaning into anything. You of all people should know that. We can make love amongst the gods, or we can screw on a dirty mattress. It's our choice.
Alan Moore
#98. I had fun last night," I told Patch, flicking off my chin strap and handing over my helmet. "I'm officially in love with your sheets."
"That the only thing you're in love with?"
"Nope. Your mattress, too."
Some smile crept into Patch's eyes. "My bed's an open invitation.
Becca Fitzpatrick
#99. When she pulled the ribbon out of her mattress, at first light the next morning, it was brown.
Emma Donoghue
#100. I like those blow-up beds. "This becomes a full size bed in three minutes!" Well, a mattress kicks your ass. Zero seconds. "Yeah, but you can store this thing." You can store a bed, too - in the bedroom.
Mitch Hedberg
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