Top 20 Ilya Ilf Quotes
#1. Investigating Koreiko's case might take a long time," said Ostap. "God only knows how long. And since there is no God, nobody knows. We are in a terrible bind.
Ilya Ilf
#2. Vorobyaninov, I've got a pressing artistic task for you,' he whispered. 'Go over to the exit from the first-class hallway and stand there. If somebody approaches, start singing, loudly.'
The old man was taken aback. 'But what should I sing?'
'Not "God Save the Tsar," that's for sure!
Ilya Ilf
#3. She was, after all, a mattress owner and understood the subtleties of life.
Ilya Ilf
#4. Pushkin wrote Turkish poems and he was never in Turkey.
Ilya Ilf
#5. If you should attempt to maintain that film is an art in conversation with a cultured, intelligent American, he'll just plain stop talking to you.
Ilya Ilf
#6. Clearly it's not all that pacific on the Pacific Ocean
Ilya Ilf
#7. Maybe we could make it to Stalingrad on twenty rubles. But how would we eat? Vitamins, my dear comrade marshal, don't get handed out for free.
Ilya Ilf
#8. He was only thirty-eight. His body was clean, well-fed, and benign. He had all his teeth. A fresh Armenian joke stirred in his head like a child in its mother's womb. He thought life was wonderful.
Ilya Ilf
#9. California is the most reactionary state in America. Fascist sentiments are very strong here.
Ilya Ilf
#10. A Spaniard and a Pole worked in the barbershop where we got our hair cut. An Italian shined our shoes. A Croat washed our car. This was America.
Ilya Ilf
#11. No one likes us, unless you count Criminal Investigations, which also doesn't like us.
Ilya Ilf
#12. The way people used to kiss before the age of historical materialism.
Ilya Ilf
#13. A week ago, the Water Rescue Society had held an evening there, as evidenced by the slogan hanging on the wall: THE CAUSE OF HELPING THE DROWNING IS IN THE HANDS OF THE DROWNING THEMSELVES.
Ilya Ilf
#14. Let's put it to a vote. Shall the ballots be open or secret?"
"We don't need Soviet-style voting," Charushnikov said, offended. "Let's vote the honest way, the European way: secret ballots.
Ilya Ilf
#15. Podkolyosin asked tragically, Why are you keeping quiet, like the League of Nations?
Ilya Ilf
#16. But the editor in chief was already balding and worked a lot. He was at the mercy of his family and apartment. He enjoyed lying down on the couch for a spell after dinner and reading Pravda before bed.
Ilya Ilf
#17. Everyone drank to popular education and to the irrigation of Uzbekistan.
Ilya Ilf
#18. Don't teach me how to live. I'm wicked now. I have money. But I'm magnanimous. I'll give you twenty rubles and three days to sack the city! I'm like Suvorov! Plunder the city, Kisa! Have fun!
Ilya Ilf
#19. This (San Francisco) is the most beautiful city in America, Probably because it looks nothing like America
Ilya Ilf
#20. There will be no beautiful widow with Persian eyes sitting at your grave. And teary-eyed kids won't be asking: "Papa, papa, can you hear us?
Ilya Ilf
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