If You're Reading This Quotes

#1. How To Read This Book
If you're reading this sentence then you've pretty much got it. Good job. Just keep going the way you are.

Demetri Martin

#2. I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.

Stephen Colbert

#3. Cheryl Cole, if you're reading this, I may not be as prety as you but at least I write my own songs.

Lily Allen

#4. If you're reading this ...
Congratulations, you're alive.
If that's not something to smile about,
then I don't know what is.

Chad Sugg

#5. If you're reading this, then I guess someone, somewhere does go through the rubbish and read every piece of paper that gets balled up and tossed away. So in that case here it is- my name's Sal.

Alex Scarrow

#6. If you're reading this book, it means you're more fortunate than the nearly one billion people in the world who can't read, many of whom will be stuck in a life of poverty.

Anonymous

#7. If you're reading this, then maybe you know you ought to read everything. And maybe you know you ought to read deeply. Because there's witchery in these words and spellwork in the spine.

Traci Chee

#8. If you're reading this ... you've been given the gift to breathe! Use your gift to focus and better your life!

Timothy Pina

#9. Statistically, if you're reading this sentence, you're an oddball. The average American spends three minutes a day reading a book. At this moment, you and I are engaged in an essentially antiquated interaction. Welcome, fellow Neanderthal!

Dick Meyer

#10. There was no mistaking her daughter's handwriting. And the words... "If you're reading this, I'm already dead.

Elizabeth Heiter

#11. If you're reading this, I'm either a wolf for good, or you're Ulrik and you should get the hell out of my stuff.

Maggie Stiefvater

#12. This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It's mostly pink. If you're reading this book every night for months, something is not right.

Mindy Kaling

#13. Might not hurt you to pick up a book, just as an experiment."
Whatever. I looked up the definition for 'nerd' in the dictionary. Know what it said?"
"I bet you'll tell me."
" 'If you're reading this, you are one.' "
You're a riot.

Brandon Mull

#14. If you're reading this on a screen, fuck off. I'll only talk if I'm gripped with both hands.

Joshua Cohen

#15. if you're reading this book, then you're also that child reading by flashlight and dreaming of other worlds. Don't be scared of her, that inner Beauty, or her dreams. Let her out. She's you, and she's me, and she's magic. There's

Meagan Spooner

#16. If you're reading this and you think that maybe you could love someone of the same gender (or nongender), all I have to say to you is this: Congratulations! You're perfect and wonderful and more alive than you ever knew. Be proud of who you are because you're already more than enough.

Hannah Hart

#17. That's my point: if you own thirty or more books, or you are reading any book at this moment, you may protest all you want, but you were born on the wrong continent.

Thomas Geoghegan

#18. There was a naked jock on my bed and a thing with tentacles coming out of my toilet. One of these things did not belong, and if you tell me that it was the naked jock, you shouldn't be reading this story.

Johnny Murdoc

#19. If you are reading this... I'm dead so far probably or still alive who knows?
It's bad day in bad time, I can tell this for sure!

Deyth Banger

#20. If you are reading this, you are still alive, and, therefore, the story is not over. Something else could happen.

Alicia Bay Laurel

#21. When you read a supernatural suspense story or a ghost story, or a horror story, the evil at play is something that you can dismiss. And I wonder if, in this time, if people really want to be sitting on the subway reading a book about someone releasing a dirty bomb on the subway.

Michael Koryta

#22. If you read the first page of one of my novels, I can guarantee that you will read the last one. This isn't just social commentary. This is also about writing good page-turners. I want people to keep reading.

Jodi Picoult

#23. It's such a relief to know these are universal truths for so many of us in the adoption triad. Gosh, how much easier things could have been for you, for me, and your folks, if literature like this had been around, say, five, ten years ago, when we could've all really used it.

Paula Gruben

#24. If after reading this book you come to my home and brutally murder me, I do not blame you.

Jesse Andrews

#25. If you are a young comic reading this and are worried that you have sold out, or may sell out at some point, DO IT! KILL YOURSELF NOW!

Stewart Lee

#26. Just keep her away from bookstores, if you can."
Bookstores.
Thanks, Grayson. That helps.
Apparently whoever said, "no harm ever came from reading a book," hadn't met this girl.

Jena Leigh

#27. Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.

Victor Borge

#28. This had better be important."
"Perhaps if you hadn't been reading all night, you wouldn't be so exhausted," snapped the young man seated across from her.

Sarah J. Maas

#29. You look at Vladimir Radmanovic, this guy is cut from stone. As if Michelangelo was reading and a lightening bolt flashed before him.

Bill Walton

#30. It wasn't even a good note. 'If you are reading this I am probably dead.' What sort of a note is that?

Patrick Rothfuss

#31. there is no shortage of reading material in this house. Charlotte is an excellent writer, but Mr. Shakespeare is better, and if it's Branwell's wickedness you like, Papa says we may read Lord Byron in moderation." Emily

Lena Coakley

#32. So what's this about a book club? You girls sit around, reading dirty books, fanning each other's vaginas? Because if so, count me in!

Jay McLean

#33. You sometimes feel that reading books is the only way you can think, as if the reading occupied one part of your brain and this allowed the other part to go free and become more active. You need that time to read in order to think. That's all there is to it.

Yannick Murphy

#34. Empathy is not as complicated when you have some aspects in common with your character; it's not impossible to know someone who's like you in many ways but different in one. This is true especially if you are a reader. Reading makes you accustomed to inhabiting other lives and sensibilities.

Antonya Nelson

#35. You have to have really wide reading habits and pay attention to the news and just everything that's going on in the world: you need to. If you get this right, then the writing is a piece of cake.

Terry Pratchett

#36. Now you see, Dr. Stadler, you're speaking as if this book were addressing to a thinking audience. If it were, one would have to be concerned with such matters as accuracy, validity, logic and the prestige of science. But it isn't. It's addressed to the public.

Ayn Rand

#37. If you wanted to be average, you would not be reading this book.

Lorii Myers

#38. Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.

Nora Ephron

#39. If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God intended you to live.

Shannon L. Alder

#40. I curse anyone who reads this book. If you touch it, hell will be waiting. Screw you. Happy reading.

Dawn Kurtagich

#41. Don't consider me too demanding if I ask you once again to set great store by holy books and read them as much as you can. This spiritual reading is as necessary to you as the air you
breathe.

Pio Of Pietrelcina

#42. Be happy NOW. Feel good NOW. That's the only thing you have to do. And if that's the only thing you get from reading this book, then you have received the greatest truth of The Secret.

Rhonda Byrne

#43. So you're a reader," My mom sighs, as if somehow this elevates Isabel to yet another realm of perfection.

Denis Markell

#44. The first step to building resilience is to take responsibility for who you are and for your life. If you're not willing to do that, stop wasting your time reading this letter. The essence of responsibility is the acceptance of the consequences - good and bad - of your actions.

Eric Greitens

#45. Really, I want you to finish this book feeling like we could become friends, if the timing was right. That's it. Oh, and by the way, you should drink while you're reading this book. If you want to play a drinking game, I suggest you take a shot when you feel like I am abusing commas.

Alida Nugent

#46. Marian Palaia is a writer of startling grace and sensuous lyricism - reading her, you feel as if you've never heard language this beautiful and this true.

Jonis Agee

#47. Fears have been raised that in their enthusiasm scientists might inadvertently create a black hole or even something called "strange quarks," which could, theoretically, interact with other subatomic particles and propagate uncontrollably. If you are reading this, that hasn't happened. Finding

Bill Bryson

#48. If you don't laugh reading this book I'll eat my pocket protector. Wait, did I just admit I had a pocket protector?

Nicole Fende

#49. If you are feeling low, or trampled, unappreciated, or forgotten ... and you are reading this, realize it is an illusion ... the hope is real ... you are valued ... and what lies ahead ... is brilliance.

Tom Althouse

#50. I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge as I am a writer. Look, if it were all good, you'd be paying twice as much for this book. So relax, read it, and if you don't enjoy it, remember that you're saving money.

George Burns

#51. If out of reading this book you get just one thing - an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people's point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career. Looking

Dale Carnegie

#52. If you are reading this, you will get what you want. Believe in yourself and that's inspiration.

Chandan Sharma

#53. If your work is done on the phone, then surely you can set up some kind of wireless system. If your work involves reading or writing reports, then this too could be done outside.

Tom Hodgkinson

#54. And I might propose to you soon. I stared at my phone, reading this line again, and again. "Okay," I whispered. So give me a heads-up if you won't say yes, because I'm mildly terrified.

Christina Lauren

#55. With the Cardinals everybody would be reading the business section to see what their stocks were doing. You get to this locker room (Pirates) in the morning and everybody is looking at the sports page to see if Hulk Hogan won.

Andy Van Slyke

#56. But when you read books you almost feel like you're out there in the world. Like you're going on this adventure right with the main character. At least, that's the way I do it. It's actually not that bad. Even if it is mad nerdy.

Matt De La Pena

#57. People should train their brain by watching films, by listening music, by playing games, by reading quotes. If people do this, I can said from this a big percent from here you can become clever.

Deyth Banger

#58. The whys and wherefores didn't need to be said. If you are reading this have ever loved someone, you will understand. Putting it into words is useless. The uninitiated cannot understand the mysterious.

Jose Rizal

#59. I suppose you know where this country would be, where the world would be, if everyone who got depressed by the papers stopped reading them.

Sue Kaufman

#60. I mean you are reading this book on a kindle device which would be wiped out if we were hit with an EMP attack.

Scotty Boyd

#61. (You wouldn't be reading this book if I hadn't convinced my publisher that I was enough of a pseudo-extrovert to promote it.)

Susan Cain

#62. Maybe you're one of those people who writes poems, but rarely reads them. Let me put this as delicately as I can: If you don't read, your writing is going to suck.

Kim Addonizio

#63. If I don't like someone and I start reading their stuff, it seems like my brain will just automatically start criticizing everything that's there. It's really hard to read a book without having all this outside information telling you what to think about it.

Tao Lin

#64. If books were girls and reading was s-ss-ssss-fucking, this would be the biggest whorehouse in the county and I'd be the most ruthless pimp you ever met. Whap the girls on the butts and send them off to their tricks as fast and often as I can.

Joe Hill

#65. This book I'm reading says if you want to be as thin as a stalk of celery, then that's what you should be eating. I'm not sure I want to look like celery, but I know I don't want to look like a biscuit.

Rebecca Rasmussen

#66. Again, again ... " really means "We must love each other, you and I, if this one story, told and retold, is all we need." Reading again isn't about repeating yourself; it's about offering fresh proof of a love that never tires.

Daniel Pennac

#67. If you were at school they would not let you read a book like this, they would keep you from reading it by involving you in sport.

Helen DeWitt

#68. Ivy, I pray that it's you reading this.
And if you are, well, I suppose you're the new me... - Scarlet, in her diary

Sophie Cleverly

#69. Spend just two hours reading this chapter and if you don't get at least one good idea for your business, contact me and I will give you a refund!1

James F. Cox III

#70. If you are currently in a relationship in which you are also willing to 'do anything to make him happy,' even at your own expense, I want you to stop reading our book. Mark this page, close the book, and hit yourself over the head with it. Then continue reading.

Jason Evert

#71. American-made genuine book. Each component of this book was selected to provide you with maximum book performance, whatever your reading needs may be. If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical

Tina Fey

#72. This is the strange life of books that you enter along as a writer, mapping an unknown territory that arises as you travel. If you succeed in the voyage, others enter after, one at a time, also alone, but in communion with your imagination, traversing your route. Books are solitudes where we meet.

Rebecca Solnit

#73. People still try to sell books that way - as 'books can take you to foreign lands.' We've given children this idea that reading and books are a nice option, if you want that kind of thing. I hope we can get over that idea.

Walter Dean Myers

#74. I love sports. When I'm not playing, I'm watching, reading, or otherwise obsessing about them. This probably stems from growing up in Indiana, where if you didn't at least attempt to play basketball, you were considered of dubious moral character.

Mark Waters

#75. I hope everyone that is reading this is having a really good day. And if you are not, just know that in every new minute that passes you have an opportunity to change that

Gillian Anderson

#76. Good by-aye! she chanted, my American sweet immortal dead love; for she is dead and immortal if you are reading this.

Vladimir Nabokov

#77. Victor, if you read this stuff, you can save people in the past from drowning. It's like time is a river, and it's nighttime, and you can hear people calling, Help, we're disappearing! So you stop and listen. That's how you save them.

Peter Gould

#78. You could wait to do something for God, but if He waited to do something for you, you couldn't finish reading this sentence ...

Garrett McCoy

#79. If you are reading this, I'm dead. Don't celebrate too much. Jesus is watching.

Katie Graykowski

#80. Not that the study is not important. A Jewish rabbi I once studies with would often say, 'For us Jews studying the bible is more important than obeying it because if you don't understand it rightly you will obey it wrongly and your obedience will be disobedience.

This is also true.

Eugene H. Peterson

#81. To my son,
If you are reading this letter, then I am dead.

Cassandra Clare

#82. If you're a creationist reading this, and you want to remark something like, "Well, that's the way he did it," I'll tell you right back, that is just not reasonable, nor is it satisfactory. If we were playing on a team right now, I'd say, "Get your head in the game.

Bill Nye

#83. If you read the books then you have no conclusion you do not dare to kick out this idea or theory "wrong", this idea or theory "right", if you have no conclusion from what you read, your reading is not useful.

Khem Veasna

#84. There's this magical place,' he says with mock solemnity, 'called a library--I don't know if you've heard of it, but they have books, and also newspaper, and back issues of newspapers...

Moira Fowley-Doyle