Stewart Lee Quotes

#1. I am sick of reading on Daily Mail message boards that I am 'one of these foul-mouthed modern comedians' when I am absolutely not. Honestly, who are these cunts?

Stewart Lee

#2. Within a few years these "jokes" as we comedians call them, will have been entirely purged from my work in favour, exclusively, of grinding repetition, embarrassing silence and passive-aggressive monotony.

Stewart Lee

#3. My grandad always said, "You should never judge a book by its cover." And it's for that reason that he lost his job as chair of the British Book Cover Awards panel.

Stewart Lee

#4. In short, if Cameron said "bunch of migrants" by accident, he is a dick, but if he said it on purpose, in order to draw the eye, dead-cat-style, away from the Google atrocity, which he did, then he is a bastard, which is worse.

Stewart Lee

#5. If political correctness has achieved one thing, it's that it has made the Conservative party cloak their inherent racism behind more creative language

Stewart Lee

#6. I'm just confusing the thrill of being young with the notion that the era in which I was young was in any way especially creative or remarkable.

Stewart Lee

#7. If you are a young comic reading this and are worried that you have sold out, or may sell out at some point, DO IT! KILL YOURSELF NOW!

Stewart Lee

#8. I'm really glad I'm not on Twitter. Because I'd have to be answering things that I didn't really know anything about, and I'd rather just wait for the dust to settle and then say something.

Stewart Lee

#9. Generally, a lot of the things people think are made up are real, a lot of the things people think are real are made up, a lot of the things people think are spontaneous are cleverly faked, and a lot of the things people think are fake are spontaneous.

Stewart Lee

#10. I knew about things like Iggy Pop and The Velvet Underground, weirdly, before I knew about David Bowie. I didn't know what David Bowie was, when I was a kid. I thought he was like Visage.

Stewart Lee

#11. Ironically, I am reliably informed that Michael McIntyre doesn't actually have a "man drawer", and invented the concept in order to ridicule ordinary people, for whom he has nothing but haughty contempt.

Stewart Lee