If You're Reading This Book Quotes

#1. This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It's mostly pink. If you're reading this book every night for months, something is not right.

Mindy Kaling

#2. If you're reading this book, it means you're more fortunate than the nearly one billion people in the world who can't read, many of whom will be stuck in a life of poverty.

Anonymous

#3. if you're reading this book, then you're also that child reading by flashlight and dreaming of other worlds. Don't be scared of her, that inner Beauty, or her dreams. Let her out. She's you, and she's me, and she's magic. There's

Meagan Spooner

#4. So what's this about a book club? You girls sit around, reading dirty books, fanning each other's vaginas? Because if so, count me in!

Jay McLean

#5. Now you see, Dr. Stadler, you're speaking as if this book were addressing to a thinking audience. If it were, one would have to be concerned with such matters as accuracy, validity, logic and the prestige of science. But it isn't. It's addressed to the public.

Ayn Rand

#6. If you wanted to be average, you would not be reading this book.

Lorii Myers

#7. I curse anyone who reads this book. If you touch it, hell will be waiting. Screw you. Happy reading.

Dawn Kurtagich

#8. Don't consider me too demanding if I ask you once again to set great store by holy books and read them as much as you can. This spiritual reading is as necessary to you as the air you
breathe.

Pio Of Pietrelcina

#9. Be happy NOW. Feel good NOW. That's the only thing you have to do. And if that's the only thing you get from reading this book, then you have received the greatest truth of The Secret.

Rhonda Byrne

#10. Really, I want you to finish this book feeling like we could become friends, if the timing was right. That's it. Oh, and by the way, you should drink while you're reading this book. If you want to play a drinking game, I suggest you take a shot when you feel like I am abusing commas.

Alida Nugent

#11. If you don't laugh reading this book I'll eat my pocket protector. Wait, did I just admit I had a pocket protector?

Nicole Fende

#12. I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge as I am a writer. Look, if it were all good, you'd be paying twice as much for this book. So relax, read it, and if you don't enjoy it, remember that you're saving money.

George Burns

#13. That's my point: if you own thirty or more books, or you are reading any book at this moment, you may protest all you want, but you were born on the wrong continent.

Thomas Geoghegan

#14. When you read a supernatural suspense story or a ghost story, or a horror story, the evil at play is something that you can dismiss. And I wonder if, in this time, if people really want to be sitting on the subway reading a book about someone releasing a dirty bomb on the subway.

Michael Koryta

#15. If after reading this book you come to my home and brutally murder me, I do not blame you.

Jesse Andrews

#16. Statistically, if you're reading this sentence, you're an oddball. The average American spends three minutes a day reading a book. At this moment, you and I are engaged in an essentially antiquated interaction. Welcome, fellow Neanderthal!

Dick Meyer

#17. Just keep her away from bookstores, if you can."
Bookstores.
Thanks, Grayson. That helps.
Apparently whoever said, "no harm ever came from reading a book," hadn't met this girl.

Jena Leigh

#18. Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.

Victor Borge

#19. If you are currently in a relationship in which you are also willing to 'do anything to make him happy,' even at your own expense, I want you to stop reading our book. Mark this page, close the book, and hit yourself over the head with it. Then continue reading.

Jason Evert

#20. American-made genuine book. Each component of this book was selected to provide you with maximum book performance, whatever your reading needs may be. If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical

Tina Fey

#21. I mean you are reading this book on a kindle device which would be wiped out if we were hit with an EMP attack.

Scotty Boyd

#22. If you are reading this, you will get what you want. Believe in yourself and that's inspiration.

Chandan Sharma

#23. If out of reading this book you get just one thing - an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people's point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career. Looking

Dale Carnegie

#24. (You wouldn't be reading this book if I hadn't convinced my publisher that I was enough of a pseudo-extrovert to promote it.)

Susan Cain

#25. Might not hurt you to pick up a book, just as an experiment."
Whatever. I looked up the definition for 'nerd' in the dictionary. Know what it said?"
"I bet you'll tell me."
" 'If you're reading this, you are one.' "
You're a riot.

Brandon Mull

#26. If I don't like someone and I start reading their stuff, it seems like my brain will just automatically start criticizing everything that's there. It's really hard to read a book without having all this outside information telling you what to think about it.

Tao Lin

#27. This book I'm reading says if you want to be as thin as a stalk of celery, then that's what you should be eating. I'm not sure I want to look like celery, but I know I don't want to look like a biscuit.

Rebecca Rasmussen

#28. How To Read This Book
If you're reading this sentence then you've pretty much got it. Good job. Just keep going the way you are.

Demetri Martin

#29. If you were at school they would not let you read a book like this, they would keep you from reading it by involving you in sport.

Helen DeWitt

#30. I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.

Stephen Colbert