If I Had Money Quotes

#1. Gwen stopped putting her money in the bag. "You're giving your father a picture of a door for his birthday?" And she'd thought Mitch marking up pages in her copy of Vogue and telling her, "This is what I'd get you for your birthday if I had money" had been cheap.

Shelly Laurenston

#2. When I was growing up, I thought I'd be a lot happier if I was famous and successful and if I had money.

Russell Brand

#3. Before you lost your mind, how did you make a living?"
"I was a hitman for the Mafia. Are you done crying yet?"
"I wasn't crying! And I wish you were a hitman because, if I had money, I'd hire you right this minute to knock yourself off.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#4. If I had money, I would like to get an old building, have music performances, do lithographs, have shows of paintings, and do those things that I'm interested in doing.

Bill Dixon

#5. If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.

Peter Wisan

#6. I could be making a lot more money now if I had chosen a different kind of movie, but none of that matters to me ... I've done the parts I wanted to do.

Jessica Lange

#7. I suppose in the back of my mind I was always one of those guys who had a disdain for money. It had a value if you wanted to buy something, but if you didn't want to buy something, you didn't need it.

Chuck Feeney

#8. I had to put my kid before my career and all the money I was making. I decided to do the right thing. I was dying inside. If I didn't have my daughter, I would be dead right now, for sure.

Brian Welch

#9. If one person starts crying, I'll cry. If one person has no money, I'll give them mine. If I had a bicycle growing up, I always felt incredibly guilty when I see someone sitting at the bus stop.

Rose McGowan

#10. The one piece of advice I can give you is, do what turns you on. Do something that if you had all the money in the world, you'd still be doing it. You've got to have a reason to jump out of bed in the morning.

Warren Buffett

#11. One just spends as much money as one has. Very peculiar that! You never actually have any money. You think, If I had this much money ten years ago, I would have thought I was amazingly rich, but I still manage to spend it all and not have any left.

Jeanette Winterson

#12. In my opinion a lot of people who may seem happy now would do what I did or similar things if they had the money and the time. I

John Fowles

#13. If I had been on 'Bowling for Dollars', I'd wind up owing them money.

Ricki Lake

#14. I wish I had money now. If only I'd saved my allowance growing up, instead of squandering it on balls, balloons, booze, and floozies.

Jarod Kintz

#15. You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.

Jon Stewart

#16. I sat with him for three hours and we did not exchange a single word. At the end he handed me, as he had done before, an envelope with money in it. It would have been much nicer if he had enclosed a greeting or a loving word. I would have been so pleased if he had.

Eva Braun

#17. Like I said earlier, it sounds like I'll need a plan B, said Porter. Because I can't see them going for any of that bollocks. They've had more peace plans than I've had bottles of vodka, and if they wanted money, they would have asked for it by now.

Chris Ryan

#18. Taking a risk is always frightening, but I gave myself a set period of time and had enough money to see me through. I operated from the belief that things would be okay, that if I wasn't successful I would find myself a job, but either way, I would be fine.

Jane Green

#19. If I had lost everything and was out on the streets with no money I would go sit in the library and read and meditate for weeks at a time.

Matthew Donnelly

#20. I had always wondered why people wanted to be rich and famous. If you could be rich and anonymous, that would be fun. To be famous and not rich, the way we were, was the least fun. It takes time and effort to be famous, and if they offer you fame without the money, don't take it. It's a scam.

Alan Alda

#21. If I hadn't given my money away, I'd have had more than anyone else on the planet.

Bill Gates

#22. I didn't need to borrow money from the record company, because if I had my own publishing company, and I had my own writers, I'd have enough to get and do whatever I wanted to do.

Solomon Burke

#23. I enjoyed every minute of it, I traveled all over North America, racing everywhere I could, and I had fun with it. I didn't make a whole lot of money, but if I could do it again today, I'd do it, and I think I'd make it.

Louise Smith

#24. But if I had to do it, handle money, then I think I could be responsible, yes.

Soundarya

#25. I had all these desperate feelings. I kept thinking, How will I ever play football again if I can't even get out of this bed? I was an invalid. Football had given me everything: identity, money, confidence, friendships. I wondered what kind of man I would be without it.

Keith Millard

#26. See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money!

Bill Hicks

#27. Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and I only had one quarter ... Well I'd probably keep it actually.

Zach Braff

#28. How many times have you heard someone say If I had his money I'd do things my way Hmm, but little they know Hmm, it's so hard to find One rich man in ten with a satisfied mind.

Bob Dylan

#29. How is someone so smart so stupid? You can't make money if you always insult my customer. You got to be the worst hooker I ever had

Jason Brant

#30. If I had all the money in the world, I don't think I'd want to be in the studio for longer.

Lisa Hannigan

#31. I might have made more money if I had outsourced to India, and I knew I'd find it easier to hire senior managers in London. But I wanted to be in Stoke. What could be more satisfying than creating work for 3,000 people in my home town?

John Caudwell

#32. If all I had was all that money could buy, I'd be bankrupt! EL

Evinda Lepins

#33. I used to have a theory actually that, if you've had a good childhood, a good marriage and a little bit of money in the bank, you're going to make a lousy comedian.

David Steinberg

#34. If someone said I had enough money and I could take six months off, I would run in an instant.

Lindsay Duncan

#35. If he had married Mrs. Albert Grantham for her money I freely admit that no man marries without a reason and with her it would have been next to impossible to think up another one ...

Rex Stout

#36. I'm going to give all my money away, eventually. I don't believe in all this hand-down stuff. Even if I had kids, I don't think I'd want to give them everything.

Simon Cowell

#37. I didn't come from a lot. I had a lot of love and support from my family, but as far as money and that type of thing, I didn't really have any of that. All I did was follow my dreams. If my fans take anything from me, I hope it would be that.

Keke Palmer

#38. If only I had more money is the easiest way to postpone the intense self-examination and decision-making necessary to create a life of enjoyment - now and not later.

Anonymous

#39. Sometimes I really need the money, really need to go straight to work. But if I had the absolute choice - money no object, my mortgage paid off - I'd really just work once or twice a year - but wouldn't everybody! - or at least do a different job sometimes.

Sophie Okonedo

#40. It was one of the first things I did on my own; I worked at McDonald's, raised the money and did it. I'm really, really passionate about pro-choice, because I wouldn't be here talking to you right now if I'd had a kid at 15.

Kathleen Hanna

#41. If I had been playing for money I would have complained a long time ago that I was underpaid.

Michael Jordan

#42. If he had unlimited money at his disposal, he might go into the wilds somewhere and shoot big game. I never know what the big game have done to deserve it, but they do help to deflect the destructive energies of some of our social misfits.

Hector Hugh Munro

#43. I had a very high opinion of my father's judgement of things and he said, "You better get a job that pays the bills because a writer doesn't make any money. If possible, get a job that allows you to write in your spare time."

Andrew Davies

#44. I could marry the Devil himself if he had some money.

Dodie Smith

#45. If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it.

Bob Hope

#46. My assumption when I began writing was that you were never going to make any money. And you were never going to reach everyone. Therefore you had to do as much as you could in the service of something you genuinely believed in. And if you do that and people get upset, well, there you go.

Dorothy Allison

#47. No matter what business you're in, business is business, and financing and money are critical. I would have made a lot fewer mistakes if I had more schooling in that area.

Daymond John

#48. If I had all the money I spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink (Sir Henry at Rawlinson End)

Vivian Stanshall

#49. If I had been a man, self-respect, family pressure and the public opinion of my class would have pushed me into a money-making profession; as a mere woman I could carve out a career of disinterested research.

Beatrice Webb

#50. I started flying because I had a fear of it early on. I figured if I learned to fly, I would understand better what was happening and started taking lessons in the late 1950's, once I had made some money on tour.

Arnold Palmer

#51. Right now I'm so old that if I had a big gush of money, I don't know what I'd do with it. I don't travel anymore. I don't need anything, don't want anything. I'd give it to my son, I guess, and let him enjoy it.

Jack Vance

#52. I want to be the father I never had and the husband my mother was cheated out of. So if I have to take off my fucking clothes to make the money I need, I'll do it. And I pray you want me enough to suffer through it. Because I promise I'll make it up to you for the rest of my life.

Marissa Carmel

#53. Years later I would hear my father say the divorce had left him dating his children. That still meant picking us up every Sunday for a matinee and, if he had the money, an early dinner somewhere.

Andre Dubus III

#54. You gave them everything I had!" the boy said. "Everything I've saved in my entire life!" "Well, what good would it be to you if you had to die?" the alchemist answered. "Your money saved us for three days. It's not often that money saves a person's life." But

Paulo Coelho

#55. Of the billionaires I have known, money just brings out the basic traits in them. If they were jerks before they had money, they are simply jerks with a billion dollars.

Warren Buffett

#56. If you couldn't catch up with me before the fame and fortune when you had owed me money and/or took up time with me, why on God's green earth should I take up any more time with you to borrow more money and not see you again until its time to borrow some more.

Cleon T. Day III

#57. I had dropped out of school and was a runaway, so I didn't have family to fall back on if I didn't work. I didn't have a lot of other options of making money other than modeling.

Carre Otis

#58. The first time I had money, I was extravagant, but then you realise it's not just about that. If I lost it all tomorrow, it wouldn't be me that's hurt, it would be my babies. It would be more about people's opinion of me that would concern me.

Rebecca Ferguson

#59. I had a severe case of resting bitch face. If I had a dollar for every time some random person told me to smile, I would have more money than the Queen of England.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#60. There are 10,000 books in my library, and it will keep growing until I die. This has exasperated my daughters, amused my friends and baffled my accountant. If I had not picked up this habit in the library long ago, I would have more money in the bank today; I would not be richer.

Pete Hamill

#61. If you don't have a place to live or money or whatever, you ask yourself, "What am I gonna do?" But my best friend stuck by me for 30 years. And he had already told me "Whenever you get out, you come live with me and my wife."

Anthony Ray Hinton

#62. Most of us spend our lives convinced that there's something missing: "If only I had a bigger barbecue, more money, a bigger car, a different wife, a different ... If only I could upgrade somehow, then I would be okay."

Arjuna Ardagh

#63. If people are paying money to see me, then I want them to walk away from the show knowing they had a really great time. I want it to be very energetic and to have fun, sad, emotional and uplifting moments. I want it to have everything!

Olly Murs

#64. I had saved a lot of money working at Mrs. Fields' Chocolate Chip Cookies, ushering at the Golden Gate Theatre, and doing odd jobs so I could live in New York for a few months. If it ran out, I would have to give up and go home. It turned out OK. I got my Equity card and started working.

B. D. Wong

#65. You're very dangerous," he informed her, taking a bigger bite. "Very devious. If you had enough money and a small army, you could take over the whole country. And no one would care because you are so damn cute."
"Of course they wouldn't mind. I'd let them eat cake," Hayley replied, grinning.

Dahlia West

#66. If the people that believed the moon landing was staged on a movie lot had access to unlimited money from large carbon polluters or some other special interest who wanted to confuse people into thinking that the moon landing didn't take place, I'm sure we'd have a robust debate about it right now.

Al Gore

#67. I used to say when I was working in the theater that if I ever had five seasons of a hit TV show I'd never have to worry about money and wouldn't have to do anything I didn't want to do.

Jerry Orbach

#68. I'm just fascinated by houses. In another life, I'd have probably trained as an architect. If I had enough money, I'd collect them like other people collect teapots. I don't know why I love them so much. I'm just very interested in the idea of a house as a metaphor for the way one lives.

Frances Mayes

#69. I remember saying to my mentor, 'If I had more money, I would have a better plan.' He quickly responded, 'I would suggest that if you had a better plan, you would have more money.' You see, it's not the amount that counts; it's the plan that counts.

Jim Rohn

#70. If I had married a woman intelligent enough to guide me, to rule me without my feeling that I was ruled, I should have taken good care of my money, I should have had children, and I should not be, as now I am, alone in the world and possessing nothing.

Giacomo Casanova

#71. If I had a large amount of money I should certainly found a hospital for those whose grip upon the world is so tenuous that they can be severely offended by words and phrases and yet remain all unoffended by the injustice, violence and oppression that howls daily about our ears.

Stephen Fry

#72. I don't have a telephone. If I had a lot of money, I wouldn't have one.

Sam Crawford

#73. I didn't have to see this big clock on the wall and worry. Most of the record I made was experimental. If you have a lot of time to do that you don't have to worry about the money, plus, I had no money. It was more out of necessity than choice.

Daniel Powter

#74. I quickly discovered that scientists go where the funding is, so I knew I had to start a research foundation. If you don't raise money and provide research grants, you'll never attract scientists, and if scientists aren't working on a cure, there isn't going to be a cure.

Kathy Giusti

#75. If I had a girl I should say to her, 'Marry for love if you can, it won't last, but it is a very interesting experience and makes a good beginning in life. Later on, when you marry for money, for heaven's sake let it be big money. There are no other possible reasons for marrying at all.

Nancy Mitford

#76. I got my influences from '70s bands - Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, blah blah blah. When I was growing up, we had all these crazy bands on the Top 40. Today, if Pink Floyd released 'Money,' it wouldn't even get played.

Al Jourgensen

#77. How do I put this? 'Glee' is like 'High School Musical' if 'High School Musical' had its stomach punched and its lunch money stolen.

Cory Monteith

#78. Because if someone owed me several thousand, and then stole from my house, and then I found out he had the money and didn't pay me back, I'd be pretty pissed," Hackett said.

E.C. Diskin

#79. If we had loads of money as a family, things would be different and they'd come to visit more and I'd get to spend more time here. But I'm laying down roots in America so when I'm there, just being at home, it's harder to break away from that.

Rick Allen

#80. If I had accepted the offers to continue just for the sake of carrying on then it wouldn't have made me happy especially if it was just for money. Now I've got other projects to concentrate on.

Sete Gibernau

#81. I wondered if we were doing him a favor. The Galton household had hot and cold running money piped in from an inexhaustible reservoir. But money was never free. Like any other commodity, it had to be paid for.

Ross Macdonald

#82. Josie watched him leave then turned to me. "I swear to God, if I had the money, you'd be the one making cookies while he slobbers all over you." "You're the one who said he was harmless." I reached under the counter to get a box ready for Ellen's order.

Catherine Bruns

#83. If somebody had told me my method would not work I nevertheless would have tried it out to make sure for myself, for when I am wrong only one thing convinces me of it, and that is, to lose money. And I am only right when I make money. That is speculating.

Jesse Lauriston Livermore

#84. I've owned a thousand houses that I've never built," she said. "Never had the money to build. Couldn't have used if I had had the money. Never really wanted to build maybe. But I still own the houses."
Karen Holmes in From Here To Eternity

James Jones

#85. If I had all the money in the world, I'd still make movies. But I'd want them to pay me in donuts.

Bruce Campbell

#86. I wanted to make money very fast, and I was completely confused after college. I didn't know what career options I had. And then I had this entry point in the film industry, and I thought, 'If this is where the fast money is going to come from, let's see how it goes.'

Emraan Hashmi

#87. If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

Mitch Hedberg

#88. If I had the money and the drinking capacity, I'd probably live at a roulette table and let my life go to hell.

Michael Ventura

#89. Somebody said, 'Roger doesn't know how to spend money.' And I thought, 'I don't spend money because I don't have it!' If I had it, I could spend money! That's about the only time I was told that!

Roger Corman

#90. I saw money change votes.I mean, they just seem unaware of this, that money is something - if they want to see the appearance of corruption, all they had to do was look in Las Vegas last weekend.

Mark Shields

#91. If I thought I had hurt my chances of winning another major just because I was chasing money around, I'd wind up kicking myself.

Mike Weir

#92. When I first came out, I was a film student, and my mom sewed clothes. I was already doing a million things then, whatever it took to survive. If I had to braid someone's hair to get one pound for my lunch money, that's what I did.

M.I.A.

#93. If I liked an idea, even slightly, I would throw some money at it. I've had a lot of random things not work out that people don't know about.

Rob Dyrdek

#94. I was asked in an interview which was more important: money or love?
I told the interviewer that if he had to ask the question, he wouldn't understand the answer.

John Lennon

#95. If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor and get some text books.

Stephen Leacock

#96. In 1882 I was in Vienna, where I met an American whom I had known in the States. He said: 'Hang your chemistry and electricity! If you want to make a pile of money, invent something that will enable these Europeans to cut each others' throats with greater facility.'

Hiram Maxim

#97. I think if anybody had a roll of dice with a lot of money at stake, they would not want Wes Craven and a romantic comedy.

Wes Craven

#98. I wanted to say to Governor Dean, don't be hard on yourself about hooting and hollering. If I had spent the money you did and got 18 percent, I'd still be in Iowa hooting and hollering.

Al Sharpton

#99. I reflected that had he married for attraction alone he could have had me. Had he married for money alone, he could have had Miss Vincy. Instead he had chosen a compromise between the two and had ended up with Miss Charity Winthrop. I did not think he could have done worse for himself if he'd tried.

Patrice Kindl

#100. I've had different opportunities in my life, but I've tried to maintain the spirit of an amateur. Our culture roots everything in the barometer of success and how much money you make. But if you really just aspire to a life in the arts, it's really not a barometer at all.

Ethan Hawke