Top 39 Humorous Money Quotes
#1. And now that I have been scammed once, I felt like it could not happen to me again.
Vann Chow
#2. That's the staggering, humorous thing about money. If you haven't got taste, money doesn't matter: You'll always look ghastly.
Joanna Lumley
#3. College = A place where you spend a ton of money for a piece of paper that says you're qualified.
Korey Miracle
#4. For me, making music is about my whole life. The basics, the components, simple things - family, living, just going to the market and getting new fruit and veg. That's what keeps my blood flowing.
Neneh Cherry
#5. It's our job to pass on our wisdom about life to our kids. I'm really afraid she's missing out on something essential. The exposure to different subjects, different ways of thinking, the challenges, opportunities, the people you meet.
Lisa Genova
#6. I'm not really interested in sports psychology. It makes me feel like a crazy person.
Michelle Wie
#7. The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.
Dave Barry
#9. what you perceive, your observations, feelings, interpretations, are all your truth. your truth is important. yet it is not THE truth.
Linda Ellinor
#10. Living on pills, phone calls unmade, people unseen, pages unwritten, money unmade, pressure piling up all around to make some kind of breakthrough and get moving again. Get the gum off the rails, finish something, croak this awful habit of not ever getting to the end- of anything.
Hunter S. Thompson
#11. Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
George Carlin
#12. 99% of all problems can be solved by money
and for the other 1% there's alcohol.
Quentin R. Bufogle
#13. When Uncle W. G. held out his hand to take my money, I dropped the dead mouse in his hand.
Earl B. Russell
#14. I believe that treating other people well is a lost art.
Tim Gunn
#15. You know, my main reaction to this money thing is that it's humorous, all the attention to it, because it's hardly the most insightful or valuable thing that's happened to me.
Steve Jobs
#16. Slingerland explains that Chinese philosophers like Confucius, Lao Tse, Zhuangzi, and a few others were concerned with accessing a state called Wu-Wei, pronounced "ooh-way." This is a state of spontaneous flow.
Anonymous
#17. Money changes people. This process is more commonly known as trading.
Kevin Focke
#18. I don't get why prom is like a mini-wedding these days ... No one should spend that kind of money for a high school dance.
Deb Caletti
#19. A reputation for money is almost as negotiable as money itself.
John Steinbeck
#20. How much do I love thee? Go ask the deep sea How many rare gems In its coral caves be; Or ask the broad billows, That ceaselessly roar, How many bright sands Do they kiss on the shore?
Mary Ashley Townsend
#21. Quote from In Love of Honey, Money....and My Virgin Passport
If you think you've the most wicked sense of humour, try life!
Mita Jain
#23. I am committed to curbing the influence of money in our political system.
William J. Clinton
#24. If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful, and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide. Only in this friendship is the great potential of human existence truly revealed.
Pope Benedict XVI
#25. A gold cage is still a cage.
-King David I
Oh, go cry in a bag of money.
-Queen Christina
MaryJanice Davidson
#26. It's the last frontier to conquer, other people, strangers, the jungle of their arms and legs, hair and skin, the smells and moans that is everybody you haven't done. The great unknowns. The last forest to devastate. Here's everything you've only imagined.
Chuck Palahniuk
#27. Every Muslim must rise to defend his religion. The wind of faith is blowing.
Osama Bin Laden
#28. Never judge a person until you've walked a mile in their busted up shoes and haven't had any money for medication for two weeks.
Lori Lesko
#29. A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.
Quentin R. Bufogle
#30. Look at Gleason in The Honeymooners. He was humorous but the way he lived wasn't really humorous. He was a bus driver. Who wants to be a bus driver? He didn't have any money and he was not famous. But despite that, the show is humorous.
George Thorogood
#31. Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The kid is just operating on a smaller scale and lacks the advantage of having made enormous soft-money campaign contributions to political candidates.
P. J. O'Rourke
#32. Two fairies were sleeping peacefully on his bed. Dinnie was immediately depressed. He knew that he did not have enough money to see a therapist.
Martin Millar
#33. I can't believe that people actually know my first and last name. I think it's really, really, gosh-darn neat.
Brittany Murphy
#35. Selling eternal life is an unbeatable business, with no customers ever asking for their money back after the goods are not delivered.
Victor J. Stenger
#36. Like most people who smoked umpteen cigarettes a day, I tasted only the first one. The succeeding umpteen minus one were a compulsive ritual which had no greater savour than the fumes of burning money.
Clive James
#37. Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood.
Cal Thomas
#38. Nowhere in particular on the way from A to Z. Or say for verisimilitude the Balloygan Road. That dear old back road. Somewhere on the Ballyogan Road in lieu of nowhere in particular. Where no truck anymore. Somewhere on the Ballyogan Road on the way from A to Z.
Samuel Beckett
#39. ELVIS & MARILYN:
The deader they get -
the more money they make.
Chocolate Waters
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