Top 100 Get Laid Quotes
#1. Sure, one can always get the students to relax and be happy - entertained, but although being laid back and relax can also lead to creativity, mostly it means that nothing much gets done.
Donald Norman
#2. Screw reality. It don't feed my dog. It don't make my Porsche payments. It don't get me laid. Bullshit does that ... and I like it that way. (Leo)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#3. Most people get into bands for three very simple rock and roll reasons: to get laid, to get fame, and to get rich.
Bob Geldof
#4. Any idiot can get laid when they're famous. That's easy. It's getting laid when you're not famous that takes some talent.
Kevin Bacon
#5. I love having the laid-back, easy-going, family-priority nature of New Zealand, but I'm certainly enjoying the States in terms of the career opportunities and the enthusiasm I get to find work.
Rose McIver
#6. The older I get the more mixed up life seems. When you're little, it's all so plain. It's all laid out like a game ready to play. You think you know exactly how it's going to go. But things happen ...
Maud Hart Lovelace
#7. Why don't you go get in bed?"
I stood, laying my hand on his chest and staring up at him. "Is that a dare?"
He laid one hand over mine and pull me closer with the other. Leaning down, he kissed me gently. "It absolutely is. No falling out of it allowed, though.
Tammara Webber
#8. I knew I was different. I thought that I might be gay or something because I couldn't identify with any of the guys at all. None of them liked art or music. They just wanted to fight and get laid. It was many years ago but it gave me this real hatred for the average American macho male.
Kurt Cobain
#9. It's definitely different in the States. Americans are much different people compared to us. We're much more laid back. I itch to get back to Australia every summer because it's so fast paced there and so stressful.
Andrew Bogut
#10. Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.
Scott Adams
#11. It's easy to get laid when you're rich and famous. When you're broke and unknown, it takes skill.
Kevin Bacon
#12. I had panels - roundtables in the district - and the stories that were told are really difficult to accept. People who have diabetes who can't get insurance because of a preexisting condition; others who were laid off and the have no place to turn.
Sander Levin
#13. Don't go to the protest. Go out and get laid. Unless you're going to the protest to get laid.
David Burr Gerrard
#14. I'm not saying my idea is the one and only idea. We should have other ideas, but the president has not laid down a specific plan as to how he's going to get us to solvency. I do that.
Chuck Hagel
#15. Get off of my shoulders. The foundation has been laid, now its time for you to build on it and get to work.
Amelia Boynton Robinson
#16. I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn't matter what you looked like either, you could be a geeky looking guy but if you played music, whoa, you'd get the girls.
Tommy Chong
#17. I feel that I had been rescued from the gutter by America. One day I was under the gutter, chased by police, thinking dogs were going to get me. I laid there listening to the dogs and the gutter. The next day, there I am standing on the Olympic platform, and you hear the anthem. I was proud.
George Foreman
#18. Get Paid, Get Laid, Lose Weight" - because those are the three things people will pay for.
James Altucher
#19. That's easy. Any man who cannae keep his balls oot o' the water needs tae get laid. Come on, let's find my sister.
Steve Alten
#20. There's nothing wrong with us," Anya said. "You, on the other hand, are way too tense. You probably need to get laid. Maybe Grant Cassidy can help you with that.
Jaci Burton
#21. All of my life, when things got too difficult, I folded up the tent and went to bed. I couldn't stand a challenge ... I was terrified of confrontation. I was very laid-back, and just wouldn't get involved or fight back.
Phoebe Snow
#22. Practice. I used to sit on the edge of my bed with a six-pack of Tuborg. My brother would go out to party and get laid, come home at 3am., and I would still be playing with myself.
Eddie Van Halen
#23. I'm laid back, I take my time, get the job done. Lebron is high flying, dunking, passing the ball well. He's getting the job done, too. But we're different.
Carmelo Anthony
#24. I honestly believe that you have to be able to play the guitar hard if you want to be able to get the whole spectrum of tones out of it. Since I normally play so hard, when I start picking a bit softer my tone changes completely, and that's really useful sometimes for creating a more laid-back feel.
Angus Young
#25. For a man of 55 who didn't get laid
until he was 23 and not very often until he was 50 I think that I should stay listed via Pacific Telephone
until I get as much as the average man has had
Charles Bukowski
#26. Indeed. Oh, and Fal?"
"Yeah?"
"Get laid, while you're up there, won't you?"
"Oh, God."
"Seriously. Your hymen's going to grow back, it's been so long. Have a fling. It might lighten you up."
"Goodbye, Rache."
Meg Maguire, The Reluctant Nude
Meg Maguire
#27. Publishing a sophisticated men's magazine seemed to me the best possible way of fulfilling a dream I'd been nurturing ever since I was a teenager: to get laid a lot.
Hugh Hefner
#28. She threw herself in his arms and laid a hot, wet one on him. They went at it to catcalls, shouts of encouragement, offers to get them a room, and his mother yelling, Thank God Father Francis couldn't make it!
Kristen Ashley
#29. If only world leaders would get laid well and regularly, the world's problems might disappear.
Jennifer Niven
#30. There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.
Denis Leary
#31. Now that I'm sober, I deserve to get laid.
Steven Tyler
#32. It seems I had personally laid my past to rest and when writing volume two of my book, it reminded me how I managed to get through it all back when I was young and how I made a personal choice to leave New Zealand in search of a better life.
Christian S. Simpson
#33. As often as men slam me into things, you'd think I'd get laid more.
Seanan McGuire
#34. You could have an eight-inch thick titanium diaper bolted to your pelvis, and you would still somehow get laid. It should be their official tourism slogan: Israel Where Virginity Goes to Die.
Jesse Andrews
#35. When single you are," Roger said, imitating Yoda dispensing advice to Luke, "get laid you can. When married you get, make love you do.
Sean Kennedy
#36. He didn't want to have to be the Gay Best Friend providing life lessons for liberal straight people. He just wanted to get laid.
FayJay
#37. Let's make a deal: You figure out what the labyrinth is and how to get out of it, and i'll get you laid. -Alaska Young
John Green
#38. Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy, she'll beat you if she's able.
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet.
Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table,
But you only want the one that you can't get.
Eagles
#39. I used to believe in the system that I was born into: aspire, acquire, consume, get famous and glamorous, get high and mighty, get paid and laid.
Russell Brand
#40. What?" she asked.
"You're beautiful."
She rolled her eyes. "Flattery will get you laid."
"I sure hope so.
J. Lynn
#41. I thought this election was an adult discussion on how best to protect ourselves in the face of terrorism, but apparently it was a referendum on boys kissing. When homophobia trumps terrorism in America, wow. This country needs to get laid.
Bill Maher
#42. The upshot of it was, that Rosanna Spearman had been a thief, and not being of the sort that get up Companies in the City, and rob from thousands, instead of only robbing from one, the law laid hold of her, and the prison and the reformatory followed the lead of the law.
Wilkie Collins
#43. She might not do it tonight, and she might not do it with that French boy, but she was going to get laid, and soon, because she was forty-three years old and she damn well needed it.
Victoria Dahl
#44. Playing Xbox for 23 hours straight is cool and all, but I'm going to teach you how to spend time on things in your life that will get you the following two things: paid and laid.
Chris Hardwick
#45. What," Scarlet breathed, clutching the bouquet, "is this?"
Wolf smiled around his canine teeth. "You are the most beautiful sight I have ever laid eyes on."
Scarlet cocked her head. "And you look like you're about to get married." There was blatant amusement in her tone.
Marissa Meyer
#46. . Oh, my future brother-in-law called me today to find out if any of my friends from New York might be interested in making a bad decision for the night. Since when did I become a pimp to get Chance laid? I thought he was bringing that lovely flower lady.
Alex Morgan
#47. Rage did her no good. You didn't get mad at the weasel who was sneaking into your yard and eating your hens. You simply laid a trap and disposed of the animal. Anger was pointless. - Egwene, pg. 77
Robert Jordan
#49. If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
Frankie Boyle
#50. I think I get laid less now than I used to, because I'm way more paranoid now.
Gerard Butler
#51. All you want to do is run out there and get laid and get beat up and get screwed up and get old and sick and banged around by samsara, you fucking eternal meat of comeback you
Jack Kerouac
#52. When you're trying to get laid, everything's great, but once you've been with someone eight years and the future is not finite, you have time to sit and really examine every little thing that irritates you.
Richard Linklater
#54. I think a lot guys get laid pretending to be Shaggy 2 Dope because without his paint he's a lot more unrecognizable. He's not a gimpy gorilla like me.
Joseph Bruce
#55. You'll have to go get laid by a random stranger."
Bo pointed to the television. "Can I wait for a commercial or do I have to git-'er-done right now?"
"You can wait.
Rachel Gibson
#56. To be taken seriously about doing something creative and probably travel a lot. That was my motivation. I knew I was good, I knew I could write. I also knew you could get laid really easily.
David Bowie
#57. The reason you often get in comedy is because you're not getting laid.
Demetri Martin
#59. If anyone gets to jump out of a ship to save Emma, it's me." "Someone wants to be the hero, I see." "Someone wants to get laid, and that works better if she's alive," Rafe retorted.
Eve Langlais
#60. Handsome boy that you are ... aren't you ... yes, you are. She smooshes his face in her hands, and I actually find myself jealous of my dog.
I'm jealous of my dog.
I really need to get laid.
Samantha Towle
#61. I don't really map anything out. I just let it happen [while writing]. But once it happens, it's always there. If it's laid, it's played. If I get to page 300 and it's not working, I junk it.
Stephen King
#62. Next to it was a dvd called 'as i get laid dying,' which had a hospital scene on the front. it was like grey's anatomy, only with less grey and more anatomy.
David Levithan
#63. I don't know what's better: getting laid or getting paid.
I just know when I'm getting one, the other's getting away.
Kanye West
#64. Sex is not a wizard, whatever magical-seeming properties it might possess in its better forms. If your friend says to you, "You're being mean, you need to get laid," your problem is not sex. Your problems are that you might be acting like an asshole, and your friends are definitely idiots.
Katie Heaney
#65. But if you cross me again Akil, so-help-me, I'll find a way to kill you this time."
His eyes lit up at the prospect, as though he'd accepted a challenge I didn't even know I'd laid down. "I'd expect nothing less."
Demons; only they can get a cheap thrill from a death threat.
Pippa DaCosta
#66. The act of writing itself isn't outrageous. And the institution subtly and insidiously works on you in such a way that though you seem to have freedom you become a servant. Your main issue is to get promoted to the next thing. Or get invited to a picnic. Or get tenure. Or get laid.
Gerald Stern
#67. If I don't get laid, I'll sure die trying.
Rod Stewart
#68. If he hadn't seen a woman half naked before, then he seriously needed to get laid.
Mina Carter
#69. I'm a skinny, geeky, high school dropout - it works, kids! Sensitive guys always get the girl. You'll get laid 10 times as much as that guy on the football team 'cause he's on steroids and he's gonna get fat.
Dave Grohl
#70. We don't like mystery. You like mystery, 'cause it's not a mystery to you; you know when you're gonna get laid.
Bill Maher
#71. Women are attracted to artists, of course, as they are to doctors and prisoners on death row. The powerful and the vulnerable. If you want to continue to get laid, particularly as you get older, that's where to head, boy.
Hanif Kureishi
#72. I think I might get laid more ... by my dad.
Tom DeLonge
#73. It goes without saying that a great majority of men are sex addicts, or would be if they could manage to get laid.
Drew Nellins Smith
#74. Who do you have to sleep with to get laid in this town?
Sloane Crosley
#75. Programs like food stamps, unemployment insurance, Medicaid, and job retraining help Americans get back on their feet when they are down and out and laid off through no fault of their own.
Hank Johnson
#76. If you ever want to get laid again, you'll promise me." Andy felt himself tear up. "Okay.
J.A. Konrath
#77. This was a bad idea," I whispered.
"It was probably the smartest idea you've ever had."
I rubbed my palms on my hips.
"It's going to take a lot more
than Thanksgiving dinner and a Christmas tree to get laid."
"Damn. There goes my whole plan.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#78. Your "use case" should be, there's a 22 year old college student living in the dorms. How will this software get him laid?
Jamie Zawinski
#79. Sweetheart, I remember every second from the first moment I laid eyes on you and I've been trying to get my world upright ever since.
Tammy L. Gray
#80. I'm so lazy as far as liking to get up, go to the office in my pajamas, get dressed about noon. And I hate flying. So I have this really laid-back, good lifestyle, and it's hard to nudge me out of it.
Barbara Park
#81. When I got laid off, I would write my friends these 15-page-long emails. This was before people had personal emails, and my friends would tell me that I was going to get them fired if I kept sending them stuff, so I started a website.
Jen Lancaster
#82. You've been awake a while?" When his smile spread, I shook my head. "So you just laid there and let me stare at you like a creeper?"
"Pretty much, Kitten. I figured I'd let you get your fill, but then you kissed me and, well, I like to be a bit more involved in that.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#83. Walter Lucas, you're going to marry me. And you're getting epically laid as soon as we get home.
Heidi Cullinan
#84. Quentin had told Spike that inking 'percussion' across your
knuckles was kind of lame. It takes more than ten letters to make
a badass knuckle tattoo. That was the problem with drummers.
They didn't listen. But they always seemed to get laid anyway.
Ros Baxter
#85. These days most women have jobs that last way too long. A lot of people in New York barely have time to get laid.
Nora Ephron
#86. In high school I spent most of my time in jeans and T-shirts or Juicy sweats. We're such a laid-back town. I mean, people wore bikinis under their clothes half the time, so you didn't really get dressed up to go to school.
Lauren Conrad
#87. The best thing about being famous is that it makes it easier to get laid.
Allen Ginsberg
#88. Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.
Jon Stewart
#89. Fallon rolled her eyes. "How am I going to deal with the rest of my life? I'm pretty damn sure if I don't get laid soon, I'm gonna hump his face!
Toni Aleo
#90. He watched her sleep now, her dark hair fanned out over his arm that she laid on.
Running his free hand over her naked back, he couldn't get enough of touching her.
How had he gone this long without this.
Devona Serenity
#91. Cox shrugged. if that's what it takes to get laid, then I'm a fuckinin'poet. Other times I'm a fuckin' accountant. Or a plumber. Sometime's a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Madeline Sheehan
#92. The Iron Rule of prudence for an Istanbulite Woman: If you are as fragile as a tea glass, either find a way to never encounter burning water and hope to marry an ideal husband or get yourself laid and broken as soon as possible. Alternatively, stop being a tea-glass woman!
Elif Shafak
#93. Nothing can render affliction so insupportable as the load of sin. Would you then be fitted for afflictions? Be sure to get the burden of your sins laid aside, and then what affliction soever you may meet with will be very easy to you.
John Bunyan
#94. On My Trip to Europe I know you think you're going to get all kinds of laid. It's not a magic place, it's the same as here. Don't be stupid.
Justin Halpern
#95. But by God, if I don't get laid tonight, my cooter will go nuclear and wipe out a city block.
Kendall Grey
#96. The best gig in the world is a packed bar on a Friday night. Reason: Everybody gets paid and everybody wants to get laid. Any band that can't go over on a Friday night should be shot.
Cub Koda
#97. Yeah, that's what they claim...we'll accept you so long as you don't go out and get laid. Sucker you into a good ol' feeling of acceptance and then kick you harder and harder in the balls as they try and wean you off of your desires. I believed I could convince a dog to turn into a cat.
James Buchanan
#98. The best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned.
Susan Block
#99. The difference between lie and lay. Lay is always passive. Even men used to say, I'd like to get laid. Though sometimes they said, I'd like to lay her. All this is pure speculation. I don't really know what men used to say. I had only their words for it.
Margaret Atwood
#100. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in the latest styles from Old Navy, and laid him in a shopping cart, because they were waiting in line to get into Walmart.
Adam Kotsko
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