Get Laid Quotes

#1. Most people get into bands for three very simple rock and roll reasons: to get laid, to get fame, and to get rich.

Bob Geldof

#2. Any idiot can get laid when they're famous. That's easy. It's getting laid when you're not famous that takes some talent.

Kevin Bacon

#3. I knew I was different. I thought that I might be gay or something because I couldn't identify with any of the guys at all. None of them liked art or music. They just wanted to fight and get laid. It was many years ago but it gave me this real hatred for the average American macho male.

Kurt Cobain

#4. Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.

Scott Adams

#5. It's easy to get laid when you're rich and famous. When you're broke and unknown, it takes skill.

Kevin Bacon

#6. Don't go to the protest. Go out and get laid. Unless you're going to the protest to get laid.

David Burr Gerrard

#7. Get Paid, Get Laid, Lose Weight" - because those are the three things people will pay for.

James Altucher

#8. That's easy. Any man who cannae keep his balls oot o' the water needs tae get laid. Come on, let's find my sister.

Steve Alten

#9. There's nothing wrong with us," Anya said. "You, on the other hand, are way too tense. You probably need to get laid. Maybe Grant Cassidy can help you with that.

Jaci Burton

#10. Practice. I used to sit on the edge of my bed with a six-pack of Tuborg. My brother would go out to party and get laid, come home at 3am., and I would still be playing with myself.

Eddie Van Halen

#11. For a man of 55 who didn't get laid
until he was 23 and not very often until he was 50 I think that I should stay listed via Pacific Telephone
until I get as much as the average man has had

Charles Bukowski

#12. Indeed. Oh, and Fal?"
"Yeah?"
"Get laid, while you're up there, won't you?"
"Oh, God."
"Seriously. Your hymen's going to grow back, it's been so long. Have a fling. It might lighten you up."
"Goodbye, Rache."

Meg Maguire, The Reluctant Nude

Meg Maguire

#13. Publishing a sophisticated men's magazine seemed to me the best possible way of fulfilling a dream I'd been nurturing ever since I was a teenager: to get laid a lot.

Hugh Hefner

#14. If only world leaders would get laid well and regularly, the world's problems might disappear.

Jennifer Niven

#15. There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

Denis Leary

#16. Now that I'm sober, I deserve to get laid.

Steven Tyler

#17. As often as men slam me into things, you'd think I'd get laid more.

Seanan McGuire

#18. You could have an eight-inch thick titanium diaper bolted to your pelvis, and you would still somehow get laid. It should be their official tourism slogan: Israel Where Virginity Goes to Die.

Jesse Andrews

#19. When single you are," Roger said, imitating Yoda dispensing advice to Luke, "get laid you can. When married you get, make love you do.

Sean Kennedy

#20. He didn't want to have to be the Gay Best Friend providing life lessons for liberal straight people. He just wanted to get laid.

FayJay

#21. I thought this election was an adult discussion on how best to protect ourselves in the face of terrorism, but apparently it was a referendum on boys kissing. When homophobia trumps terrorism in America, wow. This country needs to get laid.

Bill Maher

#22. She might not do it tonight, and she might not do it with that French boy, but she was going to get laid, and soon, because she was forty-three years old and she damn well needed it.

Victoria Dahl

#23. Men get laid, but women get screwed.

Quentin Crisp

#24. If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.

Frankie Boyle

#25. I think I get laid less now than I used to, because I'm way more paranoid now.

Gerard Butler

#26. All you want to do is run out there and get laid and get beat up and get screwed up and get old and sick and banged around by samsara, you fucking eternal meat of comeback you

Jack Kerouac

#27. When you're trying to get laid, everything's great, but once you've been with someone eight years and the future is not finite, you have time to sit and really examine every little thing that irritates you.

Richard Linklater

#28. Honey, you need to get laid.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#29. I think a lot guys get laid pretending to be Shaggy 2 Dope because without his paint he's a lot more unrecognizable. He's not a gimpy gorilla like me.

Joseph Bruce

#30. You'll have to go get laid by a random stranger."
Bo pointed to the television. "Can I wait for a commercial or do I have to git-'er-done right now?"
"You can wait.

Rachel Gibson

#31. To be taken seriously about doing something creative and probably travel a lot. That was my motivation. I knew I was good, I knew I could write. I also knew you could get laid really easily.

David Bowie

#32. If anyone gets to jump out of a ship to save Emma, it's me." "Someone wants to be the hero, I see." "Someone wants to get laid, and that works better if she's alive," Rafe retorted.

Eve Langlais

#33. Handsome boy that you are ... aren't you ... yes, you are. She smooshes his face in her hands, and I actually find myself jealous of my dog.
I'm jealous of my dog.
I really need to get laid.

Samantha Towle

#34. Next to it was a dvd called 'as i get laid dying,' which had a hospital scene on the front. it was like grey's anatomy, only with less grey and more anatomy.

David Levithan

#35. Sex is not a wizard, whatever magical-seeming properties it might possess in its better forms. If your friend says to you, "You're being mean, you need to get laid," your problem is not sex. Your problems are that you might be acting like an asshole, and your friends are definitely idiots.

Katie Heaney

#36. The act of writing itself isn't outrageous. And the institution subtly and insidiously works on you in such a way that though you seem to have freedom you become a servant. Your main issue is to get promoted to the next thing. Or get invited to a picnic. Or get tenure. Or get laid.

Gerald Stern

#37. If I don't get laid, I'll sure die trying.

Rod Stewart

#38. If he hadn't seen a woman half naked before, then he seriously needed to get laid.

Mina Carter

#39. I'm a skinny, geeky, high school dropout - it works, kids! Sensitive guys always get the girl. You'll get laid 10 times as much as that guy on the football team 'cause he's on steroids and he's gonna get fat.

Dave Grohl

#40. We don't like mystery. You like mystery, 'cause it's not a mystery to you; you know when you're gonna get laid.

Bill Maher

#41. Women are attracted to artists, of course, as they are to doctors and prisoners on death row. The powerful and the vulnerable. If you want to continue to get laid, particularly as you get older, that's where to head, boy.

Hanif Kureishi

#42. I think I might get laid more ... by my dad.

Tom DeLonge

#43. It goes without saying that a great majority of men are sex addicts, or would be if they could manage to get laid.

Drew Nellins Smith

#44. Who do you have to sleep with to get laid in this town?

Sloane Crosley

#45. If you ever want to get laid again, you'll promise me." Andy felt himself tear up. "Okay.

J.A. Konrath

#46. This was a bad idea," I whispered.
"It was probably the smartest idea you've ever had."
I rubbed my palms on my hips.
"It's going to take a lot more
than Thanksgiving dinner and a Christmas tree to get laid."
"Damn. There goes my whole plan.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#47. Quentin had told Spike that inking 'percussion' across your
knuckles was kind of lame. It takes more than ten letters to make
a badass knuckle tattoo. That was the problem with drummers.
They didn't listen. But they always seemed to get laid anyway.

Ros Baxter

#48. These days most women have jobs that last way too long. A lot of people in New York barely have time to get laid.

Nora Ephron

#49. The best thing about being famous is that it makes it easier to get laid.

Allen Ginsberg

#50. Fallon rolled her eyes. "How am I going to deal with the rest of my life? I'm pretty damn sure if I don't get laid soon, I'm gonna hump his face!

Toni Aleo

#51. Cox shrugged. if that's what it takes to get laid, then I'm a fuckinin'poet. Other times I'm a fuckin' accountant. Or a plumber. Sometime's a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Madeline Sheehan

#52. But by God, if I don't get laid tonight, my cooter will go nuclear and wipe out a city block.

Kendall Grey

#53. The best gig in the world is a packed bar on a Friday night. Reason: Everybody gets paid and everybody wants to get laid. Any band that can't go over on a Friday night should be shot.

Cub Koda

#54. Yeah, that's what they claim...we'll accept you so long as you don't go out and get laid. Sucker you into a good ol' feeling of acceptance and then kick you harder and harder in the balls as they try and wean you off of your desires. I believed I could convince a dog to turn into a cat.

James Buchanan

#55. The difference between lie and lay. Lay is always passive. Even men used to say, I'd like to get laid. Though sometimes they said, I'd like to lay her. All this is pure speculation. I don't really know what men used to say. I had only their words for it.

Margaret Atwood

#56. Aspire to be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid.

Joe Rogan

#57. Well, technically we make money off of the guys trying to get laid by the sexy drunk girls." He

Eve Jagger

#58. Poetry is much more important than the truth, and, if you don't believe that, try using the two methods to get laid.

Mark Forsyth

#59. Thanks, but I don't drink," she said as she ignored his arm and breezed past him. "I'm just here to get laid.

Laurell K. Hamilton

#60. It's not Adventureland, but you write some poems, the leaves move, and you get laid sometimes. Tom Drury's Pierre Hunter on life.

Tom Drury

#61. Remember this phrase: Get Paid, Get Laid, Lose Weight because those are the three things people will pay for.

James Altucher

#62. I was in a strip club trying to help a ghost get laid which was challenging, but not impossible.

A.J. Locke

#63. Dee Henning. I understand your focus, your drive to succeed, really I do, but I gotta wonder how you can even call it success when you're so wrapped up in your work that the only way you'll ever get laid is if they put it in the job description.

Grace Marshall

#64. You really think all of those indie music dorks go to SXSW every year to check out music? They go there to wear their laminates and act important and try to get laid.

Mark Kozelek

#65. I believe that whether you love your job or hate your job, get laid off or are just in-between jobs, you deserve health care that can never be taken away.

Ron Wyden

#66. Except the shit you can't control. Like being physically overpowered. And your reaction every time I touched you. You want my advice? Get laid.

Mina Carter

#67. Lane and Zack got hitched. So while it might not be very punk rock to be too young to drink legally at your own wedding, it's certainly handy to have the thumbs up from God to get laid.

Jennifer Crusie

#68. Nyx rubbed the ointment onto her new, darker skin. She was nearly as dark as Suha now. She supposed it would protect her from more cancers, but it was funny-looking. At least her face was the same. At least her face didn't look Chenjan.
I'm never going to get laid again, Nyx thought.

Kameron Hurley

#69. He smiled at me. "Have a good time."
"Thank you." The music was definitely working, I thought as I started to shut the door.
"Don't get laid," he added.

Jeri Smith-Ready

#70. If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

Frank Zappa

#71. Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I've been using money.

Doug Benson

#72. The guy snarled out a string of profanity describing his night with Conn's mother.

"Sounds about right," Conn said, but Matt didn't miss the glint in Conn's eye. "She's been dead for twenty years, but dead's probably the only way you get laid.

Anne Calhoun

#73. I whispered, "Can we kick the aunties out right now?"
I saw the flash of his smug smile before he buried his face in my neck and muttered, "You're adorable."
I wasn't trying to be adorable. I was trying to get laid.
"No, seriously.

Kristen Ashley

#74. Don't wear bacon cologne. If you put on ... you know what? Screw it. Wear it. If you are the type of guy who is tempted to wear bacon cologne, it's not like you could get laid any less.

Bill Maher

#75. I'm not trying to bag you. I just wanna hang out."
"Bag me? How do you ever get laid talking like that?

Jamie McGuire

#76. Do you know what you need?" Malcolm was saying now.
To get laid, I thought.
"To get laid," Malcolm said.
Shocker.

Diana Peterfreund

#77. And if this was Tate then I definitely wanted to get laid by him. Definitely.

Kristen Ashley

#78. Mike," she said in her most seductive voice. "You know and I know that I want to get laid tonight. It's been too long since I've been with a man. I'm interested in one room in this apartment and one room only.

Rosetta Bloom

#79. So who has more at stake? A young man trying to get laid with the least amount of white water before he ships off to his next assignment and has nothing but a memory of a nice month on the beach, or a family that desperately needs and wants old heartaches to disappear?

Roxanne St. Claire

#80. Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.

George Carlin

#81. I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid?

Mike Tyson

#82. I don't think I ever believed in love, not really. Just though it was something James Bond made up, a long time ago, to get laid.

Maggie Stiefvater

#83. I only got into comedy to get laid

Jack Whitehall

#84. A woman has her needs. What good is a mother to her poor children if she's suffering from low self-esteem and sexual frustration? If you don't get laid soon, you will literally close up. More importantly, you will shrivel. And you will become bitter.

Helen Fielding

#85. What's wrong?" asked Seth, seeing my frown.
"That new drummer. Alec. He hit on me earlier, and now he's moving in on Casey. I think he's one of those guys who thinks plying girls with liquor is the only way to get laid."
"Wait. I thought I was the only guy who knew that secret.

Richelle Mead

#86. Like all great adventures, this one started with someone trying to get laid. King Menelaus didn't go to Troy for the baklava.

Mark Leiren-Young

#87. And you know what people immediately start looking for, five minutes after they arrive someplace new? You know what's on their minds? I'll tell you: How are they gonna get laid, and where are they gonna find some mind-altering substances.

Michel Faber

#88. This whole Christian theology thing is that god came down to experience life through his son. Well, how's he experiencing life if he doesn't get laid? Give me a break. And why would he not get laid, as he created the apparatus in the first place?

Tori Amos

#89. What she did was harmless. What you did, man, was begging to get laid.

Piper Shelly

#90. It was one thing to get laid out by Archer in Defense, but being attacked out of nowhere by my great-grandmother was just embarrassing.

Rachel Hawkins

#91. I never try to make a major fashion statement but I want to be the friend in a woman's closet. I make dresses that women get laid in.

Diane Von Furstenberg

#92. But a dog confers status on a man. It shows he is responsible and capable of love. It will probably even help him get laid.

Meghan Daum

#93. I am not inspired by helping you find Chinese food at 2am in Dallas, or swipe right to get laid. I want to use tech and data to make the world a better place.

Nancy Lublin

#94. Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

Rodney Dangerfield

#95. One of us needs to get laid."
"Just one of us?"
"What are the odds of both of us getting laid?

Tucker Max

#96. It's one thing to be a wisecracking precocious teen hanging out with twenty-seven year olds.It's another thing to get in the way of a grown man trying to get laid.

Tina Fey

#97. The sexual revolution transformed the American West: Now even cowboys can get laid.

Edward Abbey

#98. You have a job?"
"Do you think I just fucking run this ship so I can call myself captain and get laid?"
"Well, no. I thought you were a criminal.

Pippa DaCosta

#99. What I like about stand-up is, it's truthful. I'm not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I'm up there because I really love it, and it makes people happier.

Jay Mohr

#100. The feelings that we equate with love-feeling sick, feeling insecure, not eating-that's just lust getting in the way. It's your ego saying, 'I want to get laid' and 'I hope she likes me more than I like her.' Love is something that should be there in 20 years' time.

Simon Cowell