Funny Self Love Quotes

#1. I pull back. "I'm going to have to change my computer password."
"Oh yeah? To what?"
"I-love-Josh."
"4 eva, he replies."
"You cracked my password?

Sally Thorne

#2. Hey, A-D-D," she called out to Claire, "come over and try these on.

Kimberly Derting

#3. She held her hand out in front of her. "Wait."
"No," I groaned and then cleared my throat. "I mean okay, I can wait.

Kenya Wright

#4. When I was younger I used to think that band-aids did all the work. I mean after all, it binds your wound together and makes everything better back to the way it was. But then I became an adult and started to fall in love,fvi and I realize that band-aids are so overrated lol.

Onee'sha Ford

#5. I love museums, but I always thought there was something funny about a group of strangers silently staring at works of inanimate objects together. Each person is having a very personal and maybe even emotional experience, but it's in the confines of an extremely quiet and sterile room.

Hiro Murai

#6. Sometimes when Sam's pretending to be in love with me, my stomach does funny things."
"Well, get some milk of magnesia and stop it.

Libba Bray

#7. Sex before love is like a bandage before a wound.

M.F. Moonzajer

#8. Oh the wonders of being married. Put a gun in one hand and a woman in the other, I'm never sure who's going to kill me first.

Michael W. Grimard

#9. I love writing both fiction and memoir. Both have unique challenges; bottom line, fiction is hard because you have to come up with the credible, twisty plot, and memoir is hard because you have to say something true and profound, albeit in a funny way.

Lisa Scottoline

#10. The virtuous will be sure to speak uprightly; but those whose speech is upright may not be virtuous.

Confucius

#11. Love is funny like that. Love stays with us, whether we want it or not.

Heather Lyons

#12. I love it when you talk clean to me, quoting training manuals like sonnets.

Amanda Hocking

#13. I said alone!"
He nodded in agreement. "Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It's our way.

Kresley Cole

#14. His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.

Henny Youngman

#15. I love New York. You can pop out of the Underworld in Central Park, hail a taxi, head down Fifth Avenue with a giant hellhound loping along behind you and nobody even looks at you funny.

Rick Riordan

#16. It's funny how the ugly duckling always has so many beautiful things to teach us.

Curtis Tyrone Jones

#17. Money by Martin Amis. I read it when I was 15, I read it hundreds of times since then and it always makes me laugh. Amis has managed to create a world that is both funny and abrasive. I'd love to play John Self, the depraved hero, who's without illusions, he created.

Robert Pattinson

#18. Whether we are trying to buy a packet of chips or getting to know a person for a potentially important relationship, its nice to have an overview of what it/he/she contains. - Of A Sense of Self

Amrita Sarkar

#19. Oh please," Scout said."Don't take that tone with me. You know you'd love to have a minion. Someone at your beck and call. Someone to do your bidding. How many times have you said to yourself," Self, I need a unicorn to run errands and such?

Chloe Neill

#20. Wise is the fool who becomes a master at laughter.

Curtis Tyrone Jones

#21. I love the sad songs with their maudlin, self-deprecating, almost funny lyrics. As an Englishman, they make a lot of sense.

Teddy Thompson

#22. We, as Americans, at least - I mean, I love my country - but we're so self-righteous sometimes, in terms of, like, our nationality, our country. But we're people from somewhere else; the true 'Americans' are the original peoples. It's funny, but we're a very territorial species.

Peter Dinklage

#23. When I say I love you and you don't believe me, you're being a jerk. Basically what you're saying is I only love conditionally. You think you're being self-deprecating and funny, but you're really saying I'm not a good enough person to love you if you have a few flaws. It gets old.

Donald Miller

#24. If I could ever be on a Missy Elliott record, I could then die. Missy Elliott, Mary J. Blige - I love hearing them interviewed, I love the way they talk about their art. They're very self-assured, they're funny, they're inviting. I love it.

Neko Case

#25. Beware of solipsism
Funny word. Sounds like it means "love of melons" or something. I looked it up. It means believing that "the self is the only reality."
Am I solipsist?

Jerry Spinelli

#26. I'd love to be what I have been.

Raheel Farooq

#27. I liked my face. Ethan liked my face. A lot of people liked my face. Besides, makeup was really just glorified face paint.

D.A. Paul

#28. I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

David Cross

#29. You realize you've been staring at me for the past five minutes?

Catherine Doyle

#30. I would love to write a mystery - a romantic, funny mystery.

Cecelia Ahern

#31. Both humans and dogs love to play well into adulthood, and individuals from both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience.

Jon Winokur

#32. Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down; I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age.

Julia Roberts

#33. You can't put a price tag on preparation for a pandemic.

Richard E. Besser

#34. God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval

#35. I have a 10 year old boy and a 6 year old boy and the stuff that they watch, it's always ... I mean, it could be because we're a funny family, but they love the humor and combining humor with space action, I mean, you know, there's a winner right there.

Rhys Darby

#36. If you just stop and think, baby, honey, love is a funny thing. Whatever you put in, that's what you expect to gain.

Jimmy Reed

#37. The sun weeps because it can no longer caress your skin or warm your lips." He sifted his fingers through my hair. "I do not envy the sun, Eva. But I truly hate the moon, because its light touches you in all the ways I cannot.

Michele Bardsley

#38. I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the world, she just cracks me up all the time.

Nick Cannon

#39. People wince when something is in bad taste. They laugh when it's funny. If it's too dirty or wrong, they won't laugh. But if it's a big, dirty, smart, funny laugh, they love it.

Michael Patrick King

#40. The mother I'm completely over but the daughter I love to death. The mother I'd like to love to death." "Heh." "Don't do me any favors; only laugh if it's funny." "It is!

Ned Vizzini

#41. It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves.

John Bulwer

#42. You said she's a senior? Babe we're ALL crazy.

Cecily Von Ziegesar

#43. Billy is a funny, cheeky, lovely boy and I love being with him. Parenthood is terrifying though. I can barely walk past a building without panicking that it's going to collapse on his head.

Rufus Sewell

#44. You're thoughtful, Barbara, but you're not open. You're passionate, but you're hard. You're a good, decent, funny, wonderful woman, and I love you, but you're a pain in the ass.

Tracy Letts

#45. Yeah, I love living in New York, man, and people who live in New York, we wear that fact like a badge right on our sleeve because we know that fact impresses everybody! I was in Vietnam. So what? I live in New York!

Denis Leary

#46. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

Lily Tomlin

#47. Faith is Hope on a treadmill. Love is the reason we stay on.

Solange Nicole

#48. Every time I'm in Canada I feel more Swedish, and every time I'm in Sweden I feel more Canadian. I belong in both places and I love them both equally. It's funny because the Swedes claim me as their Swedish pride and the Canadians call me their Canadian girl. I'll take it all.

Malin Akerman

#49. I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.

Bo Burnham

#50. I'm so single. It's funny. I'm usually a relationship girl. I love being in love and having a partner in crime. But it's good to be your own partner in crime. God, that makes me sound like I have multiple-personality disorder.

Brittany Snow

#51. You ... you got rid of that dress fast," I pointed out between heavy breaths. "I thought you liked it."
"I do like it," he said. His breathing was as heavy as mine. "I love it."
And then he took me to the bed.

Richelle Mead

#52. What's so funny about cats is that they have this kind of aloof, superior vibe to them. Even if you love them, they are unpredictable. Dogs are more social, and the way that they attach and bond to us is much more human.

Ze Frank

#53. Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.

Maureen Johnson

#54. I think that sometimes, romantic comedies have to be really broad, and that the plot of people falling in and out of love or whatever is not enough. 'Enough Said' had that stuff, but I wanted it to be fun and funny while also grounded in reality.

Nicole Holofcener