Top 51 Funny Nose Quotes
#1. I didn't really notice that he had a funny nose.
And he certainly looked better all dressed up in fancy clothes.
He's not nearly as attractive as he seemed the other night.
So I think I'll just pretend that this glass slipper feels too tight.
Judith Viorst
#2. You want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don't stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.
Lewis Black
#3. Damn, Ian was already there. I braced myself as he came out from behind the RV. He sniffed, his nose wrinkling. Then he looked over me and my blonde captive, grinning.
"Managed to squeeze in a golden shower along the way? How lecherous, I'm impressed."
"Save it" I said crisply.
Jeaniene Frost
#4. I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose
of some horse that looked good to me.
Al Capone
#5. What a goon, except it really is funny, me trying to sneeze a hot dog through my nose, and we're both laughing like total morons.
Rodman Philbrick
#6. Myrnin turned away to pick up his Ben Franklin spectacles, balanced them on his nose, and looked over them to say,
Don't do drugs. I feel I ought to say that.
Rachel Caine
#8. Grabbed a second slice of toast, gaining a slight growl from Tommy in the process. "Do that again and I'll hit you on your nose with a rolled up newspaper," I told him.
Steve McHugh
#9. Come on, hurry up, snailpaws," Toklo growled at Lusa. He poked her in the side with his nose. "Where's all that annoying early-morning cheerfulness you're usually so full of?"
"Well, maybe if you hadn't woken me up by dropping a fish on my head," Lusa protested, yawning.
Erin Hunter
#10. I say, 'Woe to them that have a nose, a real nose,
and come to look round the torture-chamber! Aha, aha, aha!
Gaston Leroux
#11. Let The Rock understand this, he beats your ass in cage match last week and now your the number 1 contender? Well The Rock knows exactly why that is; you've got a three foot nose you turn it sideways and stick it straight up Vince's ass!
Dwayne Johnson
#12. She gets naughty with her Pilates body
And she thinks it's really funny when her nose goes bloody
Mickey Avalon
#13. Deb was funny and smart, and regarding her looks, she was funny and smart. Tall, skinny, with a long nose, she had a distinctly bony presence. But her smile was warm, and she was unfailingly polite, qualities that go a long way in the world.
Terry Maggert
#14. My eyes are different sizes, my nose is too broad at the bridge and squishes up when I laugh, and my lips are sorta funny when I smile.
Terry Farrell
#15. I had sinus surgery the day after Christmas and it has been the worst surgery of my life. Very painful, and on top of it everyone of course thought I got a nose job. Which is so funny because if you know me I would have told you I got a nose job I'm not gonna keep it a secret.
Kaley Cuoco
#16. I can't stay. I have to go train for a while. You can come with me if you want." He kisses my nose as I laugh up at him.
"Honey, I don't run. If you ever see me running, you'd better start running too 'cause that means that something is chasing me.
Kristen Proby
#17. Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.
Charles Dickens
#18. She couldn't hold in her irritation. "What's so funny?"
He reached out and touched the tip of her nose.
"You.
Caroline Fyffe
#19. Take your finger out of your nose, Miss Steal.
Fanny Merkin
#20. All my life I've been a lady bruiser, a wrong chooser, school refuser, drug abuser, born loser; clothes bummy, nose runny, it wasn't funny
Big L
#21. I do half the cooking, and by 'half' I mean three quarters," Dad pointed out. "And if you're going to turn up your nose at all my carnivorous delights, ingrate child, you can sit under the table and gnaw sadly on a raw Brussels sprout at mealtimes.
Sarah Rees Brennan
#22. That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.
Jerry Coleman
#23. Ava said her hand accidentally slipped and made contact with her guy's nose. I said Repeatedly? And she said, 'Uh, yeah. I'm really clumsy.
Gena Showalter
#24. I wanted to thank you," I said.
She wrinkled her nose and squinted like I'd said something funny. "Thank me for what?" she said.
"You give me strength I didn't know I had,"; I said. "You make me better.
Ransom Riggs
#25. Marriage is the equivalent of trying to live with a bug perpetually up your nose.
D'Artagnan Bloodhawke
D'Artagnan Bloodhawke
#26. Quill pinched the bridge of his nose, wishing Ivy would stop using the word "nude.
Manda Collins
#27. Pearls' burst out the Snork Maiden excitedly. 'Could ankle rings be made out of pearls?'
'I should think they could,' said Moomintoll. 'Ankle-rings, and nose-rings and ear-rings and engagement rings ...
Tove Jansson
#28. You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.
Chevy Chase
#29. The number of times he'd had to pinch his nose to keep his soul in so that he'd make no noise while peering through the parlor keyhole...
Emma Trevayne
#30. It's funny how when your kids get sick, they get even cuter when they have a stuffed nose and they mouth breathe.
David Walton
#31. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Steven Wright
#32. I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
Zach Galifianakis
#33. Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose.
L. Frank Baum
#34. What? Why are you making the glee nose? The death of my world is funny? The final vengeance of my people? I will kill you.
Jackson Lanzing
#35. You're very short, aren't you?" She smirked at Petunia. "And you've got a nose like a stoat," Petunia replied. "But at least I can always have my gowns altered.
Jessica Day George
#36. I'm not scared any more,' said Midge. 'Thank you, Kevin. Sometimes you can be very kind.'
'Yes,' said Kevin. 'And if you tell that to any of the other trolls I will pull off your nose and feed it to a bear.
Doug MacLeod
#38. My Date was waiting for me at the kitchen door, ears perked, tail wagging and bits of wicker clinging to his nose and mouth
Abby Shaw, Sucker Punched
Sammi Carter
#39. Emily's ginger brows were knit tight, the edges of each almost meeting over the bridge of her pert nose. You know I will, you daft baggage. As if we have any other option.
Kady Cross
#40. Gundhrold's head lowered until his massive beak was only inches away from Amos's nose. "I am a son of the desert. This was once my home - the home of all my kind. I know every crag, every slope, every crick and hollow-"
Amos rolled his eyes. "Every blatherin' speck o' sand?
Gillian Bronte Adams
#41. The eyes of a dog, the expression of a dog, the warmly wagging tail of a dog and the gloriously cold damp nose of a dog were in my opinion all God-given for one purpose only-to make complete fools of us human beings.
Barbara Woodhouse
#42. On the other hand the Nac Mac Feegle were always looking for a fight, in a cheerful sort of way, and when they had no one to fight they fought one another, and if one was all by himself he'd kick his own nose just to keep in practice.
Terry Pratchett
#43. Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.
Steve Martin
#44. You know, there are just some things you never expect to face even on this job. A flying primate that shoots fire out its nose is one of them.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#45. Who's there?"
"The scratcher of your itch," he said.
She opened the door a crack and stuck her nose out. "Was that supposed to be romantic?
Jill Shalvis
#46. I was always the funny-looking girl. I couldn't compete with the Brazilian girls. My nose is off, my ears are too big. But I think it's my personality that these designers were drawn to.
Lou Doillon
#47. Hi's nose was pressed to his window. I've changed my mind, Tory. This is the perfect place to hold someone prisoner. I'm keeping this on file.
Kathy Reichs
#48. Each generation has been an education for us in different ways. The first child-with-bloody-nose was rushed to the emergency room. The fifth child-with-bloody-nose was told to go to the yard immediately and stop bleeding on the carpet.
Art Linkletter
#49. I remember people saying: 'You look funny, your hair is so black, you have a flat nose,' but I didn't think of it being racism, and I still don't. But there was a sense of difference, of being an outsider.
Sadie Jones
#50. I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair.
Doug Stanhope
#51. When were you born?"
"Huh?" She scrunched up her nose at the sudden change in topic.
"Your sign?" He insisted.
She thought it must be a joke. Wasn't that a bad pickup line from the '70s?
Joannah Miley
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