Funny Moving Out Quotes

#1. The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough."

Mitch Hedberg

#2. Here's a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.

John Madden

#3. Paradise was always over there, a day's sail away. But it's a funny thing, escapism. You can go far and wide and you can keep moving on and on through places and years, but you never escape your own life. I, finally, knew where my life belonged. Home.

J. Maarten Troost

#4. Oh gosh, it's moving! It's so gross! Can't you just, like, flex your butt or something?
Why, yes. Travis clenched his teeth. Why don't I just clench my butt muscles in hopes that it will shock the spider enough to crawl back into the hellhole it came out of?

Rachel Van Dyken

#5. Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!"

Dylan Moran

#6. I mean, I - it's so funny, I am, you know, I am, you know, a working woman out in the world, but I still live with my parents half the time. I've been sort of taking this very long, stuttering period of moving out.

Lena Dunham

#7. It's funny, the old media idea is very segmented, like "this is my territory and this is yours." But media is changing. You're at a point now where people can start to move into different forms.

Tim Hetherington

#8. Isn't it funny how the people least impacted by tragedy are the most eager to move on?

Lisa Unger

#9. It's funny how the world works, how we win and lose, how we can never really know what's ahead though we never stop planning. How we survive and move on. There's a sadness that comes with survival, but also more joy to be had.

Anna McPartlin

#10. It's funny when you feel as if you don't want anything more in your life except to sleep, or else to lie without moving. That's when you can hear time sliding past you, like water running.

Jean Rhys

#11. Cherry Money Baby is fabulous in every sense of the word! It's earthy and smart and moving, laugh-out-loud funny, surprising, inventive, suspenseful, and - Oh, Hell - just gorgeously written!

Tim Wynne-Jones

#12. People want to go to a musical to be razzled and dazzled, so to have an opportunity to do a musical that feels serious and moving is exciting to me. Especially since people think of me as a silly, funny person, so I like to be able to show that other side of me.

Laura Benanti

#13. 1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

Kristen Schaal

#14. Bad weather's moving in," the old bird said, finally handing me a check.
Never seen so many tornadoes in my life.
We don't need no more of those," I agreed. "Last time one went through, the wind blew so hard I had to have my butt cheeks sewn back together.

Nick Wilgus

#15. The cure for moving too fast is just to slow down.

William E. Coles Jr.

#16. Nothing is impossible to kill. It's just that sometimes after you kill something you have to keep shooting it until it stops moving

Mira Grant

#17. The fewer moving parts, the better." "Exactly. No truer words were ever spoken in the context of engineering.

Christian Cantrell

#18. On horseback you feel as if you're moving in time to classical music; a camel seems to progress to the beat of a drum played by a drunk.

Walter Moers

#19. Robert Altman's 'Nashville' is my all-time favorite film because it covers all the bases - it's original, moving, and has something to say, but also funny and incredibly entertaining.

Douglas Wood

#20. In terms of my own behavior and activity, the funny thing about regrets and saying "I'm sorry," is that there's so much I would do differently and want to do differently moving forward.

Bill Ayers

#21. Keep moving!"
"Bea's arguing with the floor.

Joel N. Ross

#22. I loved this smart, funny, big-hearted novel. As hilarious and wise as early Philip Roth, The Mathematician's Shiva will delight and move you.

Steven Strogatz

#23. Judah Friedlander, I'm ok with you being the world champion for a few years more. That's a hook with legs. But I think he should make one more hat, that says 'there's a limit to how funny words on a hat can be'. And then move to a chapeau.

Andy Kindler

#24. We're going to move left and right at the same time.

Jerry Brown

#25. (About sweeping) ...
What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.

Terry Pratchett

#26. I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

Jimmy Carr

#27. Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.

Woody Allen

#28. Sometimes you just gotta let sh-t go and say 'to hell with it' and move on.

Eminem

#29. Hysterical in The Mask; funny yet moving in The Truman Show.

Jim Carrey

#30. He swallowed, and his voice was a bit rough, but he was "You know, I think moving is key to this whole fucking thing."
"This does t feel good?" Gavin kissed under Jamie's ear while rubbing circles around his nipples with a hard palm.
"What is this, Fucking For Slackers?

K.A. Mitchell

#31. To people who make moving ads that block the view of websites: Not only will we not buy from you, but we want shrews to eat your liver.

Dave Barry

#32. Divorce sucks. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.

Rich Vos

#33. But ambition is a funny thing: it creeps in when you least expect it and keeps you moving, even when you think you want to stay put.

Lena Dunham

#34. Dept. of Speculation is gorgeous, funny, a profound and profoundly moving work of art. Jenny Offill is a master of form and feeling, and she gets life on the page in new, startling ways.

Sam Lipsyte

#35. I wil not calm down. My baby girl is moving halfway across the country."
"She's been moved away before," Dad pointed out.
"Yeah, but that was with Billy. We all knew he wouldn't work out. We're talking about Hank here. Look at him," she pointed to Hank.
"She's never coming home. Never.

Kristen Ashley

#36. Cynicism can be funny. But it's the easy way. You'll forget to enjoy anything. I try to make the evolving choice, the forward-moving, life-giving choice. Just keep living, man.

Matthew McConaughey

#37. Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth.

Rebecca Brooks

#38. It's so funny how my name has always been such a big deal. When I was growing up, my family was always moving. I had to meet new people all the time. And they'd laugh.

Calista Flockhart

#39. The funny thing is that I almost find it more difficult now to take a still picture than to be behind a moving camera. I'm just so much more inspired and comfortable and confident when I have that whole operation going. I feel more connected. Snapping a moment doesn't seem relevant to me anymore.

Steven Klein

#40. Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J.R. Ward

J.R. Ward

#41. Giulia Melucci has written a wonderfully funny and moving book. It's like Eat, Pray, Love, with recipes.

A. J. Jacobs

#42. I think I would say 'The King's Speech' is surprisingly funny, in fact the audiences in London, Toronto, LA, New York commented there's more laughter in this film than in most comedies, while it is also a moving tear-jerker with an uplifting ending.

Tom Hooper

#43. Through the gaps in the books, Ryan could see someone in the next aisle over, moving slowly. Someone in black. Someone whistling. Ryan recognized the tune. It was the theme music to Harry Potter.

Derek Landy

#44. I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.

Steven Wright

#45. Jase turned his head to me, brows raised. "If I liked guys - you know, swung that way, I'd get naked after that."
I blinked. Um.
"And I'd put a ring on that," Cam added, moving to where Avery sat.

J. Lynn

#46. My company is known for being funny as well as moving. You get a bit of everything in these shows. I think people know they're going to have a surprising experience.

Matthew Bourne

#47. It's funny, but ... you're sort of a moving target for fortune, and you never know when it will befall you.

Thomas McGuane

#48. When someone close to you dies, move seats.

Jimmy Carr

#49. When we were younger, my cousins used to jump in front of cars with masks on and start dancing really funny or making funny moves and the people in the cars would start laughing.

Leo Santa Cruz

#50. I used to roll up: this is a hold up, ain't nuthin funny.
Stop smiling, be still, don't nuthin move but the money.

Rakim

#51. The funny thing about me is I move from genre to genre, but I essentially shoot all the movies the same way.

James Mangold

#52. I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

Zach Galifianakis