Funny He's Not Worth It Quotes

#1. Well don't get your hopes up," I warned. "I'm a lot more trouble than i'm worth."
"I don't doubt that," he said, indicating my box of junk.
"What did you do to get sent here?"
"I can't tell you."
"Because then you'd have to kill me.

Christine Manzari

#2. I do see things that are funny on the net. I Googled myself the other day and found out that I was worth $250m, and that I was the highest-paid guy in show business! I wish so hard it was true. It is, of course, the complete opposite. I'm neither rich nor do I make a lot of money.

David Crosby

#3. But she was funny sometimes, and never boring. God, it would almost be worth it to see her face when she realized that I had saved her ass again.
Actually it was quite a nice ass, come to think of it. In fact, my memory of the ass and its owner seemed to be remarkably clear.

Ilona Andrews

#4. I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.

Henny Youngman

#5. The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.

Frankie Boyle

#6. All the things I thought I was - simple and plain and sometime funny - are very small words. They do not begin to describe me. They do not begin to express what is inside of me. I have value, and I have worth. I cannot be replaced like old shoes or taken for granted like tap water.

Adriana Trigiani

#7. He can blow the flute very well-that 'a can,' said a young married man, who having no individuality worth mentioning was known as 'Susan Tall's husband.

Thomas Hardy

#8. Wen you're a married man, Samivel, you'll understand a good many things as you don't understand now; but vether it's worth while goin' through so much to learn so little, as the charity-boy sand ven he go to the end of the alphabet, it's a matter of taste.

Charles Dickens

#9. Funny, that. For so long Wormwood had desired the throne and then, when he'd had it, it hadn't been worth desiring after all.

John Connolly

#10. [Thine] face is not worth sunburning.

William Shakespeare

#11. If I could bronze my love, it'd be worthy of a silver medal.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#12. I pat her on the head. "Oh, naive little Kitten. Dear, foolish girl. This cookie is worth all this and more. Sit or you will not partake.

Jenny Han

#13. Most of the other visitors were chained to their audio guides, looking only at what their little headsets told them was worth seeing.

Dara Horn

#14. Men weigh love with hands.

Ljupka Cvetanova

#15. This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in 10,000 pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over 14,000 dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

Tina Fey

#16. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Will Rogers

#17. A funny little literary article in the hand is worth at least three Critiques of Pure Reason in the bush.

Aldous Huxley

#18. Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.

Karl Pilkington

#19. If I didn't kick his ass every day? he wouldn't be worth anything.

Hillary Clinton

#20. Such a funny thing, time. You spend your whole life wishing there was more or less of it, never realizing that the time already given could be worth more than that which you wished for." -Davina

Moryah DeMott

#21. I picked up the nearest weapon I could lay my hands on: a stapler. I lifted it, going for "menacing." I admit it lacked a certain elegance, but hey. It was worth a shot. David placed his hand on my arm and pushed it back down.
"What?"
"Just ... that's embarrassing for all of us," he replied.

Rachel Hawkins

#22. A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

Yogi Berra

#23. The truth is . . . Well, the truth is the truth, and thus worth telling, but sometimes truths are so complicated that it's exhausting to get them out in the right order." He glanced up at her. That sounded like an evasion if ever she'd heard one. She raised an eyebrow.

Merrie Haskell

#24. You have to really believe not only in yourself; you have to believe that the world is actually worth your sacrifices.

Zaha Hadid

#25. Life before toilet paper was not worth living.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#26. The road to redemption might be damn hard, but in the end - if you reached the end - his father was right. It was worth it. Maribelle was worth it. Funny how her birth was the reason he'd started running, but she ended up being the reason he'd stopped. Life was really fucking funny that way.

Madeline Sheehan

#27. I froze all night. My back's killing me. I want home, and I'm scared to death. But I guess the view makes it all worth it."
"You're funny," Angel said

Jayde Scott

#28. Clearly here was someone, like me, who tended to stumble through life and managed to see the funny side of situations. Someone who, like me, was fairly shy, yet not averse to expressing his opinions; someone who unlike me had a developed sense of his own worth and had the effrontery to convey it.

Jane Hawking

#29. Yes, the fans are going to get their money's worth. It's like ... and everything on there is funny. It's not like random crap they put in a movie. I think it's all very funny, so.

Nicholas Stoller

#30. Sometimes WRONG is worth the FUNNY!

Billy Gardell