Top 84 Cute Humor Quotes
#1. How can such scary looking parents create something so cute?
Chetan Bhagat
#2. Have I told you I love you?" he whispers.
I smile. "Not since this morning."
"Unforgivable. I will tell you every hour of every day.
Jessica Khoury
#3. But I was starving! You know I always forget my lunch - and who expects me to concentrate on Advanced Manga Drawing Level 2 when visions of pork buns and powdered doughnuts dance in my head? Teacher Suzuki acted like it was the end of the world just because I got hungry,
Bunny Lilka
Tiffany Fulton
#4. Careful, Quint. She goes from cute to carnivorous in 2.5 seconds.
C.K. Dawn
#5. Alright, good night," he said, his words a little slurred. "But before I pass out, I want you to know that you're the hottest biscuit this side of the gravy boat.
Erin McCarthy
#7. I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing '80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn't part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.
Ernest Cline
#8. I cross my fingers that if a demon dunks me in a vat of boiling lava I'll get thrown together naked with River Phoenix, and that he'll say I'm cute and try to kiss me.
Chuck Palahniuk
#9. There's no accounting for the opinions of old ladies. They think everyone is cute.
Shannon Wiersbitzky
#11. But it is cute. It's such a boy thing to do.
Drop dead.
Aw, you say the most romantic things.
Eliezer Yudkowsky
#12. I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson
One Direction
#13. I would give a million bucks to have seen my mother say "cute shoes" to naked Ashley Judd.
Brian Fies
#14. I had a dream about you. You were so cute, and I was holding you for a long time. We went for a walk, happily strutting down the street. We saw a couple others but they weren't having as much fun as we were. We arrived back home and I gave you a kiss on the nose and a bone.
Ashley Kennett
#15. I like your boyfriend," Dahra said. "Not many guys volunteer to carry ten gallons of diarrhea and vomit."
Lana laughed. "He's not my boyfriend."
"Yeah, well, he can be mine if he wants to be. He's cute. And he carries crap.
Michael Grant
#16. Did you know that every time a country song is played, a cute little puppy keels over dead?
Nicole Williams
#17. A good since of humor and someone who is loyal and cute-I like cute girls
Harry Styles
#18. You know more useless crap, St. Clair. Good thing you're so darn cute, Josh says.
Stephanie Perkins
#19. Jesus."
"I thought you were Jewish."
He pressed his lips together for a second before looking at me. "Fine. I'll say Moses. Or Abraham. Happy?"
"I doubt Jesus is.
M. Kane
#20. Puppies are cute. I'm fierce!"
"Yeah!" Evelyn snorted. "Romas says you're as fierce as a kitten."
"A kitten?" Kiera's tone grew more hurt. "I'm not afraid of him, just because he's twelve feet tall and can bench press me with his toes. It's not nice of him to say that
Lizzy Ford
#21. Clea and I were touring one of the cathedrals in Italy, and in front of the whole tour I go 'That's so cute! Look, they have birdbaths in the church!
Hilary Duff
#22. I've never met a person who has more integrity than my husband. I respect that. There's his humor and intelligence, too, and he's really cute, all those things - but if you don't respect your partner, you'll get sick of him.
Michelle Pfeiffer
#23. If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
Dave Barry
#24. And what if that news anchor is creepy? He's too smooth, and he has that hairpiece.
Leila Howland
#25. When all else fails, look cute.
Jim Davis
#26. Albatrosses and penguins are the last birds I'd want to murder.
Bruce Chatwin
#27. But Princess Magnolia wore glass slippers on weekdays. Princess Magnolia was afraid of snails. Sunlight made Princess Magnolia sneeze. And at the moment, the Princess in Black was hog-tying a monster.
Shannon Hale
#28. Jill showed friend Kay the cute white mice.
They liked to run races for cheese.
Mice were lots of fun to play with.
Jill said, "Take Poopsie, the male one, please!
Melinda K. Trotter
#29. He was being really cute and funny. Then he moved in close. I was terrified - I mean, I hardly know him, but it was also sort of exciting. Until we actually kissed.
Kendra, he had dog breath.
Brandon Mull
#30. Giving a reader a sex scene that is only half right is like giving her half of a kitten. It is not half as cute as a whole kitten; it is a bloody, godawful mess.
Howard Mittelmark
#32. Arya did not dare [take a bath], even though she smelled as bad as Yoren by now, all sour and stinky. Some of the creatures living in her clothes had come all the way from Flea Bottom with her; it didn't seem right to drown them.
George R R Martin
#33. Cute? I think my testosterone level just dropped
- Ranger
Janet Evanovich
#34. Yeah, but I want to take a look at your little peashooter. It's kinda cute."
"It's a gun," Brenda said.
Lula pulled her Glock out of her bag and aimed it at Brenda. "Bitch, this is a gun. It could put a hole in you big enough to drive a truck through.
Janet Evanovich
#35. And there encountered with him all at once Sir Bors, Sir Ector, and Sir Lionel, and they three smote him at once with their spears, and with force of themselves they smote Sir Lancelot's horse reverse to the earth. And by misfortune Sir Bors smote Sir Lancelot through the shield into the side ...
Thomas Malory
#36. I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."
Mitch Hedberg
#37. Rigg pressed her back against a tree and closed her eyes, wishing she could have died in a less humiliating way. She supposed it could have been worse: the frog could have been a cute mechanical bunny.
Ash Gray
#38. I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the fact that my boyfriend was a pervert. He was lucky he was so cute.
J.M. Colail
#39. Kids are baby goats. They're cute and they have redeeming social value. You are definitely not kids.
Rick Riordan
#40. I mean, really. Who sends their kid to boarding school? It's so Hogwarts. Only mine doesn't have cute boy wizards or magic candy or flying lessons.
Stephanie Perkins
#41. If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.
David Sedaris
#42. Nah, Mike's gonna stop by. He had to work late and he works
with this really cute chick and I just know he ... ." Alycia folded her arms
on her chest and pouted. "She better be a blonde bimbo with a huge rack
and no personality if he's gonna cheat on me.
J.M. Colail
#43. Wanna dance?" he asked
"I guess you'll do. All the cute guys are already taken," I answered with a grin.
"You wound me with your callousness," he sighed dramatically, taking me in his arms.
"I do have a black belt in demolishing overstuffed egos.
Lani Woodland
#44. People think hermit crabs are cute, but I can't think of anything creepier. Some dead thing's shell, with legs poking out of it. Scuttling. Feeding on corpses. Living in a borrowed skin of death.
Nick Lake
#45. I like you, Calla. Yeah, I've only known you a couple of days. But you've made me laugh," he said, his gaze never leaving mine. "I can also tell you're nice and sweet when you wanna be. I think you're cute as hell and you make me hard
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#46. Ben ambles over, a smirky grin on his face. I glare at him. "You set me up," I accuse as he squeezes in next to me. He cocks his head to the side innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Hey, you look cute in that shade, Juliet. Humiliation red, is it?
Nicole Christie
#47. So I started running through our weaponry to distract myself. I had my stun gun. Jonah had a pseudosword, and Aaron had a really cute butt. Not that his butt would be useful in de-botting Trey, but it's always good to have a full catalog of your strengths before going into battle.
Carrie Harris
#48. Are you having fun playing with those plastic 3-D models of ears, noses and throats? That's kind of like what I do, except instead of cute little plastic models, it's living human tissue, and instead of playing, I'm fucking working, and instead of fun, it's fucking not fun, it's serious.
Colin Nissan
#49. Invisible guns, huh?" Kenji smirks. "That's cute. I don't think I ever went through that phase.
Tahereh Mafi
#50. You're amazing," she whispered hoarsely.
He pushed back the hair from her face. "You too."
"How? All I do is let you play me like a piano."
He chuckled. "You've got a great keyboard.
Ashlyn Chase
#51. No, I can't die because there are too many jackasses falling over themselves to take my place! I may live forever just to spite them!
Jamie McGuire
#52. The big one was at least cute, and as annoying as she was, you couldn't get mad at a golden retriever.
Chelsea Handler
#53. You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other.
Richelle Mead
#54. A cute nickname was the first mile marker on Gag Highway, heading straight to Relationshipville. And making up the names of fake roads and cities to express your unhappiness was probably the first step to insanity.
Emma Mills
#55. Reckoner Super Plan for Killing Regalia ...
Step One: find Regalia, then totally explode her. Lots and Lots.
Step Two: put Val on decaf.
Step Three: Mizzy gets a cookie.
Brandon Sanderson
#56. Every day may not be sweet. But thereis something sweet in every day.
Queenie Law
#57. I'm just saying, 'Hey, throw me a bone. How about a smile, cute t-shirt? Look at me.' Nothing - unless it's a turn to their friends to go, 'Hey, why is that weird guy looking at us?'
Marc Maron
#58. I feel pretty sure I know why the dinosaurs went extinct. They were waiting for Sam to pick out a cell phone case.
P. Anastasia
#59. I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
Ellen DeGeneres
#60. To ugly ducklings everywhere,
Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:
They'll never get to be swans
Zoe Marriott
#61. My God," Hadrian said. "They finally did it! All those oh-so-cute-my-cuddly-kitten-here's-a-pic bastard! They finally went and did it!
Steven Erikson
#62. When I was younger I used to think that band-aids did all the work. I mean after all, it binds your wound together and makes everything better back to the way it was. But then I became an adult and started to fall in love,fvi and I realize that band-aids are so overrated lol.
Onee'sha Ford
#64. Hey, so I told my hoe yesterday that ...
Aww, he talks to his shovel. How cute.
Zechariah Barrett
#65. When he flashed that rockin' smile of his again, I couldn't help but think that me being cute was what might be crossing his mind. Then again, maybe he thought I was a dumbass. Either way, he smiled, which was good enough for me. - Ariel
Victoria H. Smith
#66. Disney will never make a movie about my life story, and that's a shame
I'd make a really cute animated creature.
Kate Bornstein
#67. Most women beg me to lick them, and I give it to you for free and you push me away," he said with a fake pout on his face.
"You're crazy." I giggled
"I'm the good kind of crazy, though.
Abbi Glines
#68. I want steak," he said, stopping to look at her. "And shrimp. And lobster. And pancakes. And a candy bar".
"I'm sorry, you'll have to settle for a couple of sandwiches".
Thomas sighed."Figures".
James Dashner
#69. A girl has to have a beautiful smile, Beautiful eyes and she should have a good sense of humor. She should be honest, loving and trustworthy.
Justin Bieber
#70. Its Batteries! I just know it!
Alison
#71. I worked in a grocery store my whole life, Honey-girl. I know what lonely housewives think of this."
"I meant the baby, Jerk."
"Attached to me."
"You think you're cute, don't you?"
"Are you honestly asking me this? I know you're not debating it.
Pella Grace
#72. Gorgeous," he murmured.
She chuckled. "Think you'l say that in five months or so? When I waddle like a duck and you have to tie my shoes for me?"
"I'l say it then and forever.
Cherrie Lynn
#73. You snore."
She stopped in the middle of the hallway and gaped. "I do not."
"Oh yeah, you do." He nodded, beaming from ear to ear. "Cute, kind of baby snores, but still snores by standard definition. Maybe that was the problem that broke up you and David. Doctors need their sleep, you know.
Jennifer Shirk
#74. I'm going to marry Prince William! I'll get all Kate Middleton's cute coats!
Claudia Gray
#75. Faith is Hope on a treadmill. Love is the reason we stay on.
Solange Nicole
#76. The smaller girl hid her eyes with her hands, and Ewan smiled. Did she think that would make her invisible?
C.J. Milbrandt
#77. And, corny as it may sound, I do cherish the bond between me and the audience, the minority that follows my stuff and always makes me glad it's us against the world.
Bill Maher
#78. Dad, is she serious?"
John shrugged. "I argue with your Mama, I sleep on the couch and she doesn't feed me. So i dont argue with your mama.
Molly McAdams
#79. Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#80. Then I had to decide if I needed to wear shoes that kicked ass or were good for ass kicking, on account of there's a difference you know. ~ Finger Lickin' Fifteen
Janet Evanovich
#81. Oh, precious losing streak,
you're too cute for your own good.
I try to laugh about it
but my face is made of wood.
Casey Renee Kiser
#82. Did I mention how cute you look in my clothes?"
Blushing I just look at what I'm wearing and laugh.
"Chicks Dig me? And Sponge Bob boxers?"
"Chicks do dig me! And Sponge Bob is a great cartoon in your world.
Sara Daniell
#83. You there is such a thing as a door," I whispered. "You should try it some time.
Chanda Hahn
#84. Your name isn't Sniffles?" Ewan pretended to be surprised.
C.J. Milbrandt
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