Carrie Harris Quotes

#1. Jonah squealed, jumping up and down and shaking his pom-poms. His skirt swished around his scrawny yellow knees.
"Jonah, can I give you a piece of sisterly advice?"
"Yeah."
"If you ever want to lose your virginity, don't do that again. Ever.

Carrie Harris

#2. After a quick meltdown in the bathroom, I went downstairs. When I turned the corner at the bottom of the basement steps, Jonah lept at me, waving a plastic bag in my face.
I'd never been so happy to see a Country Market bag in my life.

Carrie Harris

#3. So I started running through our weaponry to distract myself. I had my stun gun. Jonah had a pseudosword, and Aaron had a really cute butt. Not that his butt would be useful in de-botting Trey, but it's always good to have a full catalog of your strengths before going into battle.

Carrie Harris

#4. Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?

Carrie Harris

#5. I'm going to go hunt some zombie, he said. It would have sounded pretty cool if his voice hadn't cracked in the middle of the sentence.

Carrie Harris

#6. I stumbled into a clearing. In the springtime, it was probably the kind of place you'd like to hang out with sparkly vampires. But it was slightly less attractive in the rain.

Carrie Harris

#7. Are these Romero slow zombies, or 28 Days Later fast zombies?"
"They were totally slow, dude. Are you blind?

Carrie Harris

#8. That puke was the most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. It was green and a little red. Technicolor, really, the color puke is supposed to be. It definitely wasn't black, and it didn't smell like toasty poop. This was a good sign.

Carrie Harris

#9. What kind of emergency?"
"Uh ... "
"Gynecology or acupuncture?"
What the heck would an acupuncture-related emergency be like?

Carrie Harris

#10. Everyone in the room stared at me like they expected me to grow fangs and sparkle.

Carrie Harris

#11. I wanted to beat the heck out of the JV guys for that, except I wouldn't know what to do in a fistfight without a manual.

Carrie Harris