Crack Up Quotes

#1. As time goes by, as time goes by, the whip-crack of the years, the precipice of illusions, the ravine that swallows up all human endeavour except the struggle to survive.

Roberto Bolano

#2. With the likely nominations of Barack Obama by the Democrats and John McCain by the Republicans, one of these two parties is headed for a 2009 crack-up that could prove as messy as any party civil war in recent history.

Chuck Todd

#3. It was the most pleasurable thing I've ever done, playing this character, and I just remember feeling so at home and so - I don't know, I was just happy - and it just wasn't ever work! It was like a sandbox for me, and I would crack myself up rehearsing.

Jenna Elfman

#4. Oh Lola's Boobs,' he says into my chest, 'I wish we knew each other better.'
I crack up laughing.
'What's that you say?' he jokes, putting his ear to my right breast. 'You wish you could come out to play more often but Lola doesn't let you? Well, that's a shame.

Bianca Giovanni

#5. As for breaking up, once the relationship is over, you never really know what went wrong; you just feel nauseous whenever the subject comes to mind. After a plane crash there's the black box that tells the FAA what caused the crack-up. Too bad there's no black box of relationships.

Linda Sunshine

#6. He's a very funny and very nice man. When you read the script, you want to stick with it. But when you're with Eddie Murphy you've got to improvise. He's always making jokes and making me crack up when the camera's on.

Raven-Symone

#7. I am
Opposite of weak
Opposite of slack
Synonym of heat
Synonym of crack
Closest to the peak
Far from a punk
Y'all ought to stop talking
And start trying to catch up

Mike Shinoda

#8. Wake up: all of that 'crack in the street' talk?
It's made up, like 'Jack and the Beanstalk.'

Sean Price

#9. Cos a cop asking a guy for a discount on his crack, that's screwed up.
Sign of the goddamn apocalypse is what it is.

Warren Ellis

#10. Two guys jumped us on the way to get food," Cameron answered. "Ty is like ... a ninja on crack. He beat them up pretty spectacularly. Then we stole with their car.

Abigail Roux

#11. I'm very good at getting up in the morning - so much of my life has been spent on film sets where we start at the crack of dawn.

Joanna Lumley

#12. It wasn't as if crack was getting great press in the South Bronx in 1999, but it took a particular kind of idiot to wake up one day and say, 'Angel dust is a product I've heard nothing but good about, and it's about time I was involved.

Edward Conlon

#13. A bubble of fear passes up my spine. It's the feeling of standing on ice and suddenly hearing it crack under your weight - both thrilling and terrifying together.

Hannah Kent

#14. Then the trembling starts to get worse. This must be how they begin, he thinks. Freak-outs. Breakdowns. Crack-ups. Eventually shut-ins and finally cross-offs. But first the cover-up ...

Ken Kesey

#15. Luckily, many ghosts prefer the night time but then those who lived to wake up at the crack of dawn never get the message that ghosts are for the night, or at least the evening! Nearly a non-zombie by the end of the walk. Helps if it's a cold day, or a very sunny one, to wake me up!

L.P. Donnelli

#16. Scientific research is a bottomless money pit. You can approximate Doing Science to standing on the Crack of Doom throwing banknotes down it by the double-handful, in the hope that if you choke the volcano with enough paper it will cough up the One Ring.

Charles Stross

#17. I don't love getting up at the crack of dawn and having makeup put on my face for three hours - like, I really don't like it - and then having a part that's just not that challenging.

Rene Russo

#18. I wish I had the ability to crack wise, generally. You know, without getting punched. There's no way I could do it while getting beaten up. Definitely.

Guy Pearce

#19. Gabriel woke him up at the crack of dawn with a cup of water to the face and a kick in the ribs.

Brigid Kemmerer

#20. I crack myself up.

James W. Huston

#21. The flies were teaching an advanced seminar in philosophy as they crawled up the crack of my ass

Richard Brautigan

#22. Even in times of great sadness, there are always moments where we crack up.

Selenis Leyva

#23. Humans can actually read a landscape, go through a lot of rocks - crack them open, throw them, pick up the next one. Rovers are great - they do amazing science - but it is a lot more tedious process; they go much less far than a human can cover in a day.

Ellen Stofan

#24. ...but the future is a teenage crackhead who makes shit up as he goes along.

Chuck Klosterman

#25. The light sprang up again, and there on the brink of the chasm, at the very Crack of Doom, stood Frodo, black against the glare, tense; erect, but still as if he had been turned to stone.

J.R.R. Tolkien

#26. You can be a rapper born and raised in go-go music, violence, drugs, crack, Reagonomics, and still, if you hear 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,' you're going to find a way to hum along. Guilty pleasures? It don't matter. Sue me - I like the song. To dance to it is another matter.

Wale

#27. Even in your darkest moments, you'll think of something that'll crack you up.

Brad Paisley

#28. Today there are no fairy tales for us to believe in, and this is possibly a reason for the universal prevalence of mental crack-up. Yes, if we were childish in the past, I wish we could be children once again.

Anita Loos

#29. Open the ovoid mother and find the ovoid girl; open the child and the next egg grins up its invitation to crack it. You can never tell a priori how many iterations await you; you hope they continue forever. My daughter, my matryoshka.

Natalie Angier

#30. His undies had ridden up into the crack of his narrow ass, of which I was treated to a full view of as he turned and tried to go as quietly as possible up the stairs.

Lili St. Crow

#31. The feelings pile up, threatening to crack-up my chest wide-open ..

Gayle Forman

#32. We can surmount the anger we feel. To find oneself like a young tree inside a tomb is to discover the power to crack the tomb and grow up to any height.

Elizabeth Bowen

#33. You can't make yourself be compassionate, you can only keep stepping back and becoming a larger container in which compassion wants to live. The practice should open us up, and crack open our hearts again and again.

Judith Hanson Lasater

#34. I'm not good at taking pictures. I can't give a good face. I crack up.

Chrissy Teigen

#35. I am not Chewbacca. Me think Chewbacca jerk. He no can act. He ride Bigfoot coat tails. he think he cool, but he not. He phoney loser with no class. He all messed up on crack me think. People think me Chewbacca sometimes. No! Me have job. Bad wookie. Bad.

Graham Roumieu

#36. The enemy, self-consciousness, is creeping up on them and Gibbsy or Biggsy is the first to crack, declaring that the music is shit and everyone stops dancing immediately as if a spell has been broken.

David Nicholls

#37. Predatory. Dangerous. Confident. God, the man was her crack and her kryptonite wrapped up together in one muscular package.

Avery Flynn

#38. It's just so sensual, watching her crack eggs and beat them up, god, now I sound like a kinky bastard.

Megan Keith

#39. As a wolf, I'm a diamond in the rough. I crack jokes. My whole life is about trying, about speaking up in order to be seen, about howling with laughter or howling out how I see the world.

Jessi Klein

#40. Whenever I do get to work with John Barrowman, it is absolutely a joy. We just crack each other up.

Katrina Law

#41. Saw a science program the other day. Rats were crawling through their own food to get to crack cocaine. The conclusion was that rats would rather starve with food in front of them than give up crack. The conclusion was wrong: rats will do anything to forget they are in a cage ~ John P. McAfee

John P. McAfee

#42. Dixie?" "Yeah." "You ever try to crack an AI?" "Sure. I flatlined. First time. I was larkin', jacked up real high, out by Rio heavy commerce sector. Big biz, multinationals, Government of Brazil lit up like a Christmas tree.

William Gibson

#43. Stick it up your crack, you warped son of a mutant b*tch!

Darren Shan

#44. I love stretching in the morning. It's the first thing I do when I wake up because getting a good back-crack is so extremely satiating. I feel taller when I finally stand.

Rachel Nichols

#45. If you wake up / And the day feels broken / Just lean into the crack

Bjork

#46. Each egg hatched a different way, but a crack at the right time speeded things up.

Anne McCaffrey

#47. If someone cracks up, what does that mean? At what point does a person about to fall to pieces say: I'm cracking up? And if I were to crack up, what form would it take?

Doris Lessing

#48. I have attended a number of psychological conferences dealing with this whole problem of the difference between the mystical experience and the psychological crack-up. The difference is that the one who cracks up is drowning in the water in which the mystic swims.

Joseph Campbell

#49. I told you once before that there were two times for making big money, one in the up-building of a country and the other in its destruction. Slow money on the up-building, fast money in the crack-up. Remember my words. Perhaps they may be of use to you some day. (Rhett Butler)

Margaret Mitchell

#50. The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.

Eoin Colfer

#51. Then our eyes meet and we both crack up like we're made of the same air.

Jandy Nelson

#52. What about the teakettle? What if the spout opened and closed when the steam came out, so it would become a mouth, and it could whistle pretty melodies, or do Shakespeare, or just crack up with me.

Jonathan Safran Foer

#53. I snicker at my joke. Dude, if ya can't crack yourself up, ain't never gonna crack anybody else up.

Karen Marie Moning

#54. Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.

Chris Rock

#55. Men were springing up, a black avenging host was slowly germinating in the furrows, thrusting upward for the harvests of future ages. And very soon their germination would crack the earth asunder.

Emile Zola

#56. we steady thud of wind with lungs that empty moon, fill it back up with shine, feed my feet to pig iron anklets biting flesh where i am link. i will break. bleed, crack. shatter. crush.
i'ma smash outta this choir, come up gasping new breath, my name burned clean, made mine

Tyehimba Jess

#57. Ever since I was 2 or 3, I loved to perform for people. I would walk up to another table in a restaurant and crack a joke, sing a song, do a dance, or something entertaining, and the 'audience' would almost always smile and laugh.

Maxim Knight

#58. I'd crack up without my music. It's the best company you can have, really. It don't say 'no' or 'maybe,' or ask no questions.

Terry McMillan

#59. Do you think Patrick Swayze now goes up behind people in pottery classes and hugs them just to crack up other ghosts?

Chris Hardwick

#60. I'm 45 years old. I used to be a club girl, but that's not my world anymore. That doesn't mean I can't make music that excites. I think it's inspiring to see an artist you grew up with take another crack.

Shirley Manson

#61. But I'm also feeling all that I have in my life, which includes what I have lost, as well as the great unknown of what life might still bring me. And it's all too much. The feelings pile up, threatening to crack my chest wide open.

Gayle Forman

#62. It was a hairline crack, one might never have noticed, except for the fact it grew wider and wider, until there was a canyon between them. A child's job, ostensibly, was to grow up. So why, when it happened, did a parent feel so disappointed?

Jodi Picoult

#63. Honey, Kate is not going to die sooner because you have one more glass of mine, or because you stay overnight in a hotel, or because you let yourself crack up at a bad joke. So sit your ass back down and turn up the volume and act like you're a normal person.

Jodi Picoult

#64. Isn't Hollywood a dump - in the human sense of the word. A hideous town, pointed up by the insulting gardens of its rich, full of the human spirit at a new low of debasement.

F Scott Fitzgerald

#65. A six-week island getaway and a book deal any way I looked at it. I glanced over at Jeannie and she was giving me a death glare. Islands or Boss from Hell. Coconut Hell or Editorial Hell. Sand in my swimsuit crack every day for two months, or jeannie up my ass for the rest of my life.

Jessica Clare

#66. Blake climbed in her passenger seat and pushed his mask up to reveal his face - even with the sun out! Livia kissed him and kissed him and kissed him. When she started her car, she was sure her cheeks would crack from smiling so much.

Debra Anastasia

#67. I love acting with kids, cause they're great acting partners. They're totally present. Even when they're acting, they're still available and you can crack them up or something weird will happen and they'll go with it.

Mark Ruffalo

#68. People love babies, even sick babies. Even crack babies. But babies grow up to be kids. Nobody really wants messed up kids. And Moses was messed up.

Amy Harmon

#69. There is a crack opening up in the middle of the kitchen table. The typewriter and the secrets box are too heavy for it. They're pulling the table down. They're opening up a hole in the floor. The whole room rips apart. There it is, large as life. Our lives are being blown wide open.

Moira Fowley-Doyle

#70. He turned to look at the door and narrowed his eyes. So, Rule Number One, apparently, was that he wasn't allowed to crack a smile during foreplay. "Got it," he muttered to himself as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side before stepping up to the door and throwing it open.

Abigail Roux

#71. I avoided writers very carefully because they can perpetuate trouble as no one else can.

F Scott Fitzgerald

#72. These leaders are like the drug lords who ruled America's ghettos in the crack age, men (and some women) interested in just two things: staying in power, and hoovering up enough of what's left of the cash on their blocks to drive around in an Escalade or a 633i for however long they have left.

Matt Taibbi

#73. America is such a paradoxical society, hypocritically paradoxical, that if you don't have some humor, you'll crack up.

Malcolm X

#74. One nice thing about putting the thing away for a couple of months before looking at it is that you start appreciate your own wit. Of course, this can be carried too far. But it's kind of cool when you crack up a piece of writing, and then realize you wrote it. I recommend this feeling.

Steven Brust

#75. You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

Jeff Foxworthy

#76. So many times I've wanted to crack up, standing there stiff while seven women are crawling round my toes fixing hems and the designer's having a freak-out because the denim cuffs are crooked. I'm on the verge of hysteria.

Helena Christensen

#77. I spent the night on a sliver of rock high up on the east face of Long's Peak, climbing with Tom Frost, and slept at the icy feet of the Dru, listening to the lightning crack above me and the thunder roll down. I only did it to write about it. I would never go up on the Grotto Wall for fun.

James Salter

#78. Horrifying as it was to crack up in the public eye, it made me look at myself and fix it. People were exploitative; that's human nature.

Margot Kidder

#79. The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, "Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy."

Jeff Foxworthy

#80. Cancer is a great wake-up call. A call to take the tag off the new lingerie and wear that black lacy slip. To open the box of pearls and put them on. To crack open the bath oil beads before they shrivel up in a bowl on the toilet tank.

Regina Brett

#81. I heard a horrible, stomach-turning crack that vibrated up my arms. Ari and I stared at each other in shock. "You really hurt me," he gasped rawly, terrible surprise in his voice. "I wouldn't hurt you. Not like this." Then his head flopped down, and Ari went totally limp. His

James Patterson

#82. Always Believe In Yourself ... If You're Down And Broken For A Reason, Rise Up And Focus ... Remember Strong Lightning Only Happens When Two Heavy Clouds Collide & Crack Each Other ... You Are That Lightning Which Is The Product of The Clash Between Your Purpose & Failure ...

Muhammad Imran Hasan

#83. When you come up with a theory, you fall in love with the beauty the simplicity and elegance of it. But then you have to get a sheet of paper and pencil and crack out all the details. Hundreds and hundreds of pages. Because you have to prove it.

Michio Kaku

#84. If, in all the cities, every house that is past repairing could be pulled down or burned up, how great would be the crash, how heaven-high the conflagration. It would be a veritable crack of Doom and glare of the Judgment.

Albion Fellows Bacon

#85. It takes both courage and talent to stand up in front of fellow human beings and make them crack a smile, and at the same time keep it clean.

Ray Comfort

#86. All you had to do was crack up and beg to see the Governor; grovel at his feet and admit to being a dissident; heartily repent your sins, and volunteer for elective brain surgery.

H.M. Forester

#87. It's okay," I said soothingly. "You're just getting your stride back. Once you're up to full power, I'll go crack a rib or something so we can test it."
She groaned. "The horrible part is that I don't think you're joking.

Richelle Mead

#88. Only if we face up to our past can we regain our credibility. If we pretend that our trust is greater than it is, we will be like someone who tries to patch over a crack.

Desmond Tutu

#89. I call my wife and tell her I'm going to sleep at the lab. She reminds me that she left me a week ago. Louis tries to crack me up by pantomiming humping a chimp through the cage.

Noah Baumbach

#90. My life sucked, and it would catch up to me, and I'd just crack.

Diane Chamberlain

#91. Keep a copy of 'Islands in the Stream' by Ernest Hemingway on the left hand side of your desk. Keep Fitzgerald's 'The Crack Up' on the right. When you get stuck, pick them up and pretend that they are having a fight, like you used to do with your GI Joes.

Lynn Coady

#92. Love? Dude. It's like a fart. You don't even know it's happening, but all of a sudden,it crawls up the crack of your ass and then the stink hits you.

Ann Everett

#93. You growing up to be who you are is like a flower growing through a crack in the sidewalk.

Anne Malcom

#94. The problem with cell phones is that you can't slam them down into a cradle when you hang up. Your only option is to throw them, and if you do, they just skitter across the floor and crack their case. It's not satisfying at all.
I close my eyes and bend down to pick up the pieces.

Holly Black

#95. Hundreds,' Joe says. 'Hundreds and hundreds. But then again, I'm old.'
So old, Jesus was in your math class,' I say. I crack myself up.

Deb Caletti

#96. For all its amazing strength, our hearts are made of eggshells, and sometimes all it takes is someone you'd almost given up on declaring their love for it to crack wide open

Leisa Rayven

#97. Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.

Jasper Fforde

#98. It's hard to maintain both smack and crack habbits and remember to keep up mobile-phone payments.

Irvine Welsh

#99. One thing that's really delightful is my books tend to attract people who are funny, so I get the benefit of people writing me with things that crack me up.

Christopher Moore

#100. And why are we supposed to be serious about God? Did God show up and crack the whip? "You there, Annie in Ohio, I see you laughing a lot and frankly it really pisses Me off ... " (50)

Julia Cameron