Top 100 Carrot Quotes
#1. Well, I am terribly concerned for your health. One simply should not weigh so much at your age. Lady Maccon poked at a sagging carrot and wondered if anyone would miss her dear sister were she to be oh-so-gently tipped over the rail of the upper deck.
Gail Carriger
#2. Daniel Craig is sitting on a carrot, Jude Law is sitting on Daniel Craig's head.
Diane Messidoro
#3. The British welfare state, it seemed, had removed the incentives without which a capitalist economy simply could not function: the carrot of serious money for those who strove, the stick of hardship for those who slacked.
Niall Ferguson
#4. Now there's a power," he said. "Harnessing the lightning! The dream of mankind!"
The Unnamed Boat surged forward.
"Is it? It's not my dream," said Didactylos. "I always dream of a giant carrot chasing me through a field of lobsters.
Terry Pratchett
#5. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
Jim Davis
#6. Sometimes Carrot sounded like a civics essay written by a stunned choirboy.
Terry Pratchett
#7. I'm not into sugar for kids, but you don't want your kid to be the carrot kid. There's always the kid at the birthday parties carrying a bag of carrots. You've got to let them eat a little cake.
Tobey Maguire
#8. Why not remove his desk, bring in a treadmill, hang a carrot from the ceiling and stop all pretense already.
Colson Whitehead
#9. A man would rather break his donkeys back than give it the carrot it requires to progress.
R.P. Falconer
#10. You're looking at me like I'm food." She held out her carrot, grinned wickedly. "Want some?" I shook my head. "I want you.
Christina Lauren
#11. Never, ever get satisfied; keep the carrot in front of the horse.
Jack LaLanne
#12. Fathers, on the other hand, were there to toughen children up, to say Walk it off when mothers would hold them if they fell. Mothers were the carrot. Fathers were the stick.
Noah Hawley
#13. You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
Janet Evanovich
#14. We need to figure out a 'harvest system' to collect the produce that stores don't put out for customers to buy because it's not perfect looking. Frankly, the stuff left to rot in the storeroom is more beautiful to me than the perfect carrot. I'm a gnarly carrot kind of guy.
Mario Batali
#15. He's not the Darian of my childhood - the one that played jacks with me on the sidewalk, despite being a year older. Nor is he the Darian who stood up for me when Asher bullied me and called me Carrot Top until I cried.
Shannon Duffy
#16. Some men would rather break their donkeys back, than give them the carrot they both require to progress.
R.P. Falconer
#17. Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable.
Carrot Top
#18. You don't look in the eyes of a carrot seed quite in the way you do a panda bear, but it's very important diversity.
Cary Fowler
#19. He'll just track us down and follow us and then he'll kill Carrot!"
"Why?"
"Because Carrot's mine!
Terry Pratchett
#20. I'm a perfectly good carrot that everyone is trying to turn into a rose. As a carrot, I have good color and a nice leafy top. When I'm carved into a rose, I turn brown and wither.
Mary Pipher
#21. Remember, changing someone's hang-ups is an easier task if stays in the realm of sex because the carrot at the end of this trip is - SEX! It's not so easy to change other aspects of a man's personality because the rewards aren't as apparent and you can't exactly screw the stupid out of someone.
Roberto Hogue
#22. People are familiar with 'the stick' of the Tea Party ... challenging incumbents, flooding the phone lines. What they're not so much familiar with, and what I want to expand, is 'the carrot.' So when a Mitch McConnell, or when a Republican caucus stands firm ... we have to reward them.
Niger Innis
#23. I'm not going to work for the sake of working. I'll work, if I'm extraordinarily lucky enough to continue having the same opportunities, but it will be based on whatever is there. If there's nothing around, then I'll go home and make carrot cake for awhile.
Carey Mulligan
#24. Absolutely, bring any kind of carrot cake you wish.
Irvin D. Yalom
#25. History tells us what works in the gym, and everything else walks down the road with a carrot in its ass.
Mark Rippetoe
#27. Dude," I said, leaning over the desk, "I'm about as psychic as a carrot.
Darynda Jones
#28. You ask me what life is? It is like asking what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot, and nothing more is known.
Anton Chekhov
#29. You wouldn't replace your carpet at home if you still had a hole in the roof ... We're talking about any time you start waving a carrot such as American citizenship without securing the borders, that number [of undocumented immigrants] that we have today I believe will double or triple.
Lou Barletta
#30. But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.
Zach Galifianakis
#31. If you were to draw Bugs, the easiest way is to learn how to draw a carrot and then hook a rabbit onto it
Chuck Jones
#32. I like the carrot cake," Maddy announced and Tucker nodded.
"Fucking hillbillies," I muttered. "We really do love our carrot cake.
Bijou Hunter
#33. Sunny did not eat the wood, of course, but she chewed on it and pretended it was a carrot, or an apple, or a beef and cheese enchilada, all of which she loved.
Lemony Snicket
#34. Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,' said Carrot
'What, in Ankh-Morpork?'
'Yes, sir.'
'We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value
Terry Pratchett
#35. What the hell is that?" I asked. "I mean, what are you supposed to be dressed like?" "I'm a sexy carrot." I looked at Dad and shook my head slowly. He wouldn't meet my eyes.
Joanna Wylde
#36. The poet Rumi said that "the price of kissing is your life." He was right, and he was offering us a carrot. What he did not mention is the stick: that the price of not kissing is your miserable unkissed life.
Anne Benvenuti
#37. I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.
Stuart Pearce
#38. Gregor lifted the knife and slammed it down. The tops of the carrot rolled across the table, some hitting the floor. "What are you doing?" "I'm chopping carrots." "Gregor, they are carrots! not tree branches." "I fail to see the difference.
Karen Hawkins
#40. This signior is sound, safe, ready, and dumb
As ever was candle, carrot, or thumb;
Then away with these nasty devices, and show
How you rate the just merits of Signior Dildo.
John Wilmot
#41. To ensure a well-motivated participant, Pfungst rewarded Clever Hans with a small piece of bread, carrot or sugar each time he responded (interestingly, this same procedure still works well with most undergraduate students today).
Richard Wiseman
#42. As a bounty hunter, I have to dress the part. If I came to the door and looked like Carrot Top, you'd laugh.
Duane Chapman
#43. Although, by todays standards, he set a vast amount of work, he believed as he told Mrs Ashley, that 'If you pour much drink into a goblet, the most part will dash out and run over'. In Ascham's view, it was the carrot, and not the stick, that worked.
Alison Weir
#44. Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
Dennis Miller
#45. Reasonable, even intelligent people can, and frequently do, disagree on how best to achieve peace in the Middle East, but, peace must be the goal of our foreign policy tools, whether they be by the stick or by the carrot.
Nick Rahall
#47. Dangling a carrot in front of a donkey - or anyone else for that matter - is not nice, and not fair, unless you eventually plan to give it up to them.
Vera Nazarian
#48. The apparent goal of the journey is simply the carrot the universe dangles before you to get you to learn the lessons the adventure yields.
Alan Cohen
#49. The reality of our business is that for every actor who's rolled up his tent and given up and gone home, the next day you hear about some shoe salesman at Macy's who had this audition and now he's Harrison Ford. There's always that carrot out there in our business.
Scott Bakula
#50. The cameo I did in 'Fellowship of the Ring' was I was in the street of Bree, and I was eating a carrot.
Peter Jackson
#51. He is a pale, long faced, unsmiling fellow who probably lives on a diet of organic bran and carrot juice. He heard Ballard open the proceedings against La Maison with a pained expression, and looked at me over his half-glasses as though I were a saucepan that hadn't been washed up properly.
John Mortimer
#52. You said there's been another murder?"
"At the Dwarf Bread Museum. Someone killed Mr. Hopkinson with his own bread!"
"Made him eat it?"
"Hit him with it, sir," said Carrot reproachfully. "Battle Bread, sir.
Terry Pratchett
#53. Gawd, he thought furiously, he hadn't expected it to be like this. Just a lousy walk down the yard to give a carrot to the gangly chestnut. Guilt and fear and treachery. They bypassed his sneering mind and erupted through his nerves instead.
Dick Francis
#54. I feel like a donkey, with a stick in my mouth and a carrot up my ass.
Anton Chekhov
#55. There are times when players have got to feel that if they work hard and they give everything, they get the carrot, but they also need to know that there's a stick. If performance, discipline or attitude isn't good enough, there is a bit of the stick and there will be a punishment.
Warren Gatland
#56. ... a slave mentality which had been built into him by years of carrot-and-whip grading, a mule mentality which said, "If you don't whip me, I won't work." He didn't get whipped. He didn't work.
Robert M. Pirsig
#57. Final installment of Things More Fun Than Reading the Sarah Palin Memoir: Driving into a tree, microwaving your head, and getting stabbed in the eye with a carrot.
David Letterman
#58. Status: the perpetual carrot that entices us from the front and prods us in the back.
Fennel Hudson
#59. Take what the British call the "greengrocer's apostrophe," named for aberrant signs advertising cauliflower's or carrot's in local fruit and vegetable shops.
Naomi S. Baron
#60. A fellow will hack half a year at a block of marble to make something in stone that hardly resembles a man. The value of statuary is owing to its difficulty. You would not value the finest head cut upon a carrot.
Samuel Johnson
#61. Vimes had believed all his life that the Watch were called coppers because they carried copper badges, but no, said Carrot, it comes from the old word cappere, to capture.
Terry Pratchett
#62. Well, I think my stand-up is often kind of visual. Not like Carrot Top visual, but visual.
Michael Ian Black
#63. The carrot and the stick are prevasive and persuasive motivators. But if you treat people like donkeys, they will perform like donkeys.
John Whitmore
#64. Jesus, dude could suck the orange off a carrot. A big, long carrot.
K.A. Mitchell
#65. I need a victim and no offense Yuki, but your carrot sticks are lacking in controversy.
E.J. Stevens
#66. Every morning, I have a drink of spinach, blueberry, celery, carrot and Gillian McKeith energy food with linseed.
Trinny Woodall
#67. Follow up the interview with a phone call. If Carrot Top can figure out how to use a phone, so can you.
Tom Cole
#68. You're not suggesting that Vetinari tucks into a nice rat every day?" said Angua.
"I've heard he uses rats as spies, so I don't think he'd use them as elevenses," said Carrot.
Terry Pratchett
#69. Things are different here, sir," said Carrot. "It wasn't until ten years ago they replaced trial by ordeal here with trial by lawyer, and that was only because they found that lawyers were nastier.
Terry Pratchett
#70. How do you spell 'contravention'?" said Carrot, turning over a page.
"I don't," said Nobby, pushing through the crowds.
Terry Pratchett
#71. As such, there is no one-size-fits-all approach that anyone can offer you. The hot water that softens a carrot will harden an egg.
Clayton M Christensen
#72. They are all good lads, said Carrot softly. I'm sure if the two of you call on each and every one of them and explain the situation, they will see where their duty lies. Tell them ... tell them there is always an easy way, if you know where to look.
Terry Pratchett
#73. CHILD: "Why does carrot cake have the best icing?" MOTHER: "Because it needs the best icing." Quantum Nonlocality and the Death of Elvis Presley You may remember
B.J. Novak
#74. Carrot started to clap.
It wasn't the clap used by middlings to encourage underlings to applaud overlings. It had genuine enthusiasm behind it which was, somehow, worse.
Terry Pratchett
#75. Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
Darynda Jones
#76. It would take a lot of time and effort (to repair the computers). And they can't run (programs and games) kids are interested in today. They're not even on the Internet. We wouldn't be offering them much of a carrot.
Bob Schneider
#77. If you can't think like an onion or a carrot or a tomato, you may be a technician, but you won't understand what you're doing, and your dish will be flat.
Eric Ripert
#78. I once died my hair blonde, and it looked like an orangey-red carrot top. It was the '80s, and I was trying to look like George Michael. At the time, the ladies loved it, and I loved it too!
Nigel Barker
#79. I was at a party in London when I met Bond producer Barbara Broccoli. She introduced herself, and I didn't believe her name. So I just replied: 'Yeah, and I'm Cathy Carrot.' I think maybe I got off on the wrong foot!
Catherine Bach
#80. Next to her, I felt like Carrot Top in drag.
Cat re: Annette
Jeaniene Frost
#81. Yes, but - but maybe I'm just tall for my height," said Carrot desperately. "After all, if you can have short humans, can't you have tall dwarfs?
Terry Pratchett
#82. My strength is as the strength of ten because my heart is pure," said Carrot.
"Really? Well, there's eleven of them.
Terry Pratchett
#83. What did the carrot say to the wheat? Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet.
Shel Silverstein
#84. See appendix A for a proof that Winston Churchill was a carrot.
Charles Seife
#85. The day is not far off when one ordinary carrot may be pregnant with revolution.
Emile Zola
#86. Creative freedom is a huge carrot.
Adam McKay
#87. Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.
Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.
Terry Pratchett
#88. She reckons most of those models eat about one carrot a week, chew cotton wool like race horse jockeys to keep thin, and smoke cigarettes.
Apparently, they all look like crap by the time they are 30, and go out with the 'wrong' sort of men..
Rae Earl
#89. Vegan Vengeance" - A Vegan teams up with "Carrot Chick", Broccoli Boy" and Paul Potato" to battle meat eaters everywhere. If "Oliver Onion" joins in they may stand a chance of making the enemy cry every time they eat meat!!
Neil Leckman
#90. You're saying,' he said, weighing each word, 'that we should send Carrot away to be a duck among humans because Bjorn Stronginthearm is my uncle.
Terry Pratchett
#91. A thick carrot soup, green salad, lamb chops and mashed potatoes, cheese and fruit, a chocolate cake.
Suzanne Collins
#92. Now you're being ridiculous. If your mom changed into a carrot, I'd think she'd change back before someone ate her, werewolf or not.
Jazz Feylynn
#93. Who cares if a carrot has a slight bend? They're all the same when they end up on the plate.
Tristram Stuart
#94. An intellectual carrot - the mind boggles.
James Arness
#95. People ought to think for themselves ... The problem is, people only think for themselves if you tell them to. (Corporal Carrot)
Terry Pratchett
#96. Heaven is the place where the donkey finally catches up with his carrot: hell is the eternity while he waits for it.
Russell Green
#97. He only drinks when he gets depressed,' said Carrot.
'Why does he get depressed?'
'Sometimes it's because he hasn't had a drink.
Terry Pratchett
#99. My idea of a good place to shop is Costco - it has these heavily marbled fillet steaks. The idea of eating some wheat thing and washing it down with carrot juice has never appealed to me.
Charlie Munger
#100. The "more" of Christianity is a myth; a deceitful illusion designed to keep you busy and running in circles, always seeking but never finding, always learning but never coming to the knowledge of the Truth - a carrot on a stick, if you will.
D.R. Silva
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