Top 100 Carrot Quotes
#1. Can you see the future, Kerbouchard?"
"Who would wish to? Our lives hold a veil between anticipation and horror. Anticipation is the carrot suspended before the jackass to keep him moving forward. Horror is what he would see if he took his eyes off the carrot.
Louis L'Amour
#2. People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big.
Carrot Top
#3. Well, I am terribly concerned for your health. One simply should not weigh so much at your age. Lady Maccon poked at a sagging carrot and wondered if anyone would miss her dear sister were she to be oh-so-gently tipped over the rail of the upper deck.
Gail Carriger
#4. Comics don't like to see other comics do well.
Carrot Top
#5. Production goes up and up because high pressure advertising and salesmanship constantly create new needs that must be satisfied: this is Admass- a consumer's race with donkeys chasing an electric carrot.
J.B. Priestley
#6. If I have to get into a bikini, then I eat carrot sticks for three days.
Margot Robbie
#7. People always say to me, 'You're really attractive - in an unusual way.' No one ever just says, 'You're attractive.'
Carrot Top
#8. Hope is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the draft horse to keep him plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it."
"Are you saying we shouldn't hope?"
"I'm saying we should remove the carrot and walk forward with our eyes open!
Margaret Weis
#9. The "more" of Christianity is a myth; a deceitful illusion designed to keep you busy and running in circles, always seeking but never finding, always learning but never coming to the knowledge of the Truth - a carrot on a stick, if you will.
D.R. Silva
#10. Money is all you can think about when all you have is a price, Carrot said
Terry Pratchett
#11. My idea of a good place to shop is Costco - it has these heavily marbled fillet steaks. The idea of eating some wheat thing and washing it down with carrot juice has never appealed to me.
Charlie Munger
#12. a fresh carrot from the garden has a complex flavor that is lost after a few days in transit.
Ed Cyzewski
#13. You ask me what life is. That's like asking what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot, and there's nothing more to know.
Anton Chekhov
#14. I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards.
Carrot Top
#15. You think we live in Norway or something? Amir Jordan is Pakistani. There's also an Asian guy, some Puerto Ricans, and the starting left wing has, like, carrot-hair. he must be Irish. It's the whole UN over there.
Sarah Ockler
#16. I think I've been on a path ever since I was born, a path of high stress. I put myself, my career, it was a big old juicy carrot right in front of me for all of my life.
Melissa Etheridge
#17. Hope is a carrot tied to the stick of tomorrow.
Dan Groat
#18. It was taunted as reality. It was dangled as a carrot. In terms of people's hopes and dreams, to say that that is less of a reality than the daily grind they find themselves in is maybe not correct.
Martin Mull
#19. Cookie!" The kid holds up a carrot with the feathery green still attached to the top.
"Seriously?"
The woman gives me a wide-eyed don't say anything look and walks away fast.
Pam Bachorz
#20. Men who've made choices always feel they own their destiny. Few ever think to ask who shaped and offered up those choices. Who dangles the carrot they think they've chosen to follow.
Mark Lawrence
#21. Well actually I'm not a man but a carrot. The band was eating salads one day and a carrot fell off of the salad bar onto a microphone and the band realized that they had just discovered something brilliant. Me.
Thom Yorke
#22. I've always believed that it's important to give something back to the world and community.
Carrot Top
#23. Pleasure is the carrot dangled to lead the ass to market; or the precipice.
Robinson Jeffers
#24. I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a character in yourself.
Carrot Top
#25. Well, that's society for you, I'm afraid," said Carrot. "Everything is dumped on the people below until you find someone who's prepared to eat it. That's what Mr. Vimes says.
Terry Pratchett
#26. I had a Neighborhood Crime Watch sign in my dorm wall in college. People would come in and laugh at it. 'Where did you get it?' 'I took it. How good is their Neighborhood Crime Watch if they can't even watch their sign?'
Carrot Top
#27. I was at a party in London when I met Bond producer Barbara Broccoli. She introduced herself, and I didn't believe her name. So I just replied: 'Yeah, and I'm Cathy Carrot.' I think maybe I got off on the wrong foot!
Catherine Bach
#29. He only drinks when he gets depressed,' said Carrot.
'Why does he get depressed?'
'Sometimes it's because he hasn't had a drink.
Terry Pratchett
#30. Heaven is the place where the donkey finally catches up with his carrot: hell is the eternity while he waits for it.
Russell Green
#31. People ought to think for themselves ... The problem is, people only think for themselves if you tell them to. (Corporal Carrot)
Terry Pratchett
#32. An intellectual carrot - the mind boggles.
James Arness
#33. Who cares if a carrot has a slight bend? They're all the same when they end up on the plate.
Tristram Stuart
#34. Now you're being ridiculous. If your mom changed into a carrot, I'd think she'd change back before someone ate her, werewolf or not.
Jazz Feylynn
#35. A thick carrot soup, green salad, lamb chops and mashed potatoes, cheese and fruit, a chocolate cake.
Suzanne Collins
#36. You're saying,' he said, weighing each word, 'that we should send Carrot away to be a duck among humans because Bjorn Stronginthearm is my uncle.
Terry Pratchett
#37. Vegan Vengeance" - A Vegan teams up with "Carrot Chick", Broccoli Boy" and Paul Potato" to battle meat eaters everywhere. If "Oliver Onion" joins in they may stand a chance of making the enemy cry every time they eat meat!!
Neil Leckman
#38. She reckons most of those models eat about one carrot a week, chew cotton wool like race horse jockeys to keep thin, and smoke cigarettes.
Apparently, they all look like crap by the time they are 30, and go out with the 'wrong' sort of men..
Rae Earl
#39. It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.
Carrot Top
#40. Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.
Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.
Terry Pratchett
#41. Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, Can you please screw this up really bad?
Carrot Top
#42. Creative freedom is a huge carrot.
Adam McKay
#43. The day is not far off when one ordinary carrot may be pregnant with revolution.
Emile Zola
#44. See appendix A for a proof that Winston Churchill was a carrot.
Charles Seife
#45. What did the carrot say to the wheat? Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet.
Shel Silverstein
#46. My strength is as the strength of ten because my heart is pure," said Carrot.
"Really? Well, there's eleven of them.
Terry Pratchett
#47. Yes, but - but maybe I'm just tall for my height," said Carrot desperately. "After all, if you can have short humans, can't you have tall dwarfs?
Terry Pratchett
#48. Next to her, I felt like Carrot Top in drag.
Cat re: Annette
Jeaniene Frost
#49. I do go through a mini depression because one minute there are people yelling and screaming for me on stage and the next I'm at home and it's dead quiet. So it takes a while to come down.
Carrot Top
#50. A carrot is as close as a rabbit gets to a diamond.
Don Van Vliet
#51. And this is the room One afternoon I knew that I could love you And from above you I sank into your soul Into that secret place where no one dares to go. ~Neutral Milk Hotel "King of Carrot Flowers, Pt. 1
Autumn Doughton
#52. There comes a point where you see no evidence that the carrot and diplomacy are working.
John F. Kennedy
#53. I always make fun of KISS because I don't particularly think their music is anything.
Carrot Top
#54. I munched a carrot, then broke off a piece of bread and teamed it with another bite of salmon. Every single bit could be a different taste sensation.
It was like men. Each was unique. Most had some great qualities, the majority had a few disappointing ones, and a few were total losers.
Susan Fox
#55. Carrot-and-stick reinforcement' the behaviorists are telling us is needed for this bird to carry out these operations, thirteen different types of construction jobs? B. F. Skinner did a very good thing: in World War
William Peter Blatty
#56. Although the garment was beautifully designed and well made, the color, a dark velvet that captured the intense tones of a ripe plum or black cherries, would prove a jarring clash with her hair. She added ruefully, "Not with this carrot top. I'll look a fright.
Lisa Kleypas
#57. I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'
Carrot Top
#58. I juice everything! Whether it's beet, carrot, or apple, I'll juice it. I always keep brown rice in the kitchen. I'll often pack a cooler full of food to have throughout the day when I'm busy.
Misty May-Treanor
#60. I make sure to sleep eight hours, and I'm much better about eating, because I'm not standing in front of my pantry. I go to the market and pick up little carrot nubs.
Lisa Loeb
#62. I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.
Gilbert Gottfried
#63. I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.
Carrot Top
#64. Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I'll bet he can't invent a good meal out of one.
Will Rogers
#65. What would Kathy say if she knew I let the whole crew eat those Oreos when they never did eat their carrot sticks (which I had so firmly required as prerequisite)? All three of my kids were probably heading for disease (not enough veggies) and jail (not enough discipline).
Dean Hughes
#66. What they call 'alt-comedy' now is basically what comedy was like in the '80s. People tried different things, and everybody went to the clubs; there was no other place. Then somehow, the clubs became infiltrated by Dice Clay and Carrot Top types.
Jen Kirkman
#68. Knowledge is like the carrot, few know by looking at the green top that the best part, the orange part, is there. Like the carrot, if you don't work for it, it will wither away and rot. And finally, like the carrot, there are a great many donkeys and jackasses that are associated with it.
Nasreddin
#69. Corporal Carrot, Ankh-Morpork City Guard (Night Watch), sat down in his nightshirt, took up his pencil, sucked the end for a moment, and then wrote:
Anonymous
#70. [ ... ] no carrot would be permitted in a soup that had not first assumed a rhomboidal or trapezoidal shape.
Ivan Turgenev
#71. I think it's the fact that I do something different and that I actually have some success with it. That bothers a lot of people ... especially comics.
Carrot Top
#72. The wise bunny knows the carrot will not hop to him.
Krista Lester
#73. Thus, be every device from the stick to the carrot, the emaciated Austrian donkey is made to pull the Nazi barrow up an ever-steepening hill.
Winston Churchill
#74. The blessing is that everyone knows who I am because of the commercials.
Carrot Top
#75. Before I got addicted to comedy, I was seriously thinking about playing tennis full time. I joined the tennis team and played with a lot of professionals.
Carrot Top
#76. No horse jokes," he said.
"My lord, I apologize for the horse joke. If you put down the book
unharmed!
I will give you a carrot."
He brandished the book at her. "Was that a horse joke?"
"Neigh."
"Was that a horse joke?
Cynthia Hand
#77. Carrot leaned over the wall of a pen. "Coochee-coochee-coo?" he said. A friendly flame took his eyebrows off.
Terry Pratchett
#78. The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:
'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it.
John Green
#80. Yes, a bunch of carrots, observed directly, painted simply in the personal way one sees it, worth more than the Ecole's everlasting slices of buttered bread, that tobacco-juice painting, slavishly done by the book? The day is coming when a single original carrot will give birth to a revolution.
Paul Cezanne
#81. Carrot, to whom the word irony meant something to do with metal, picked up his pike and after a couple of impressive rebounds managed to cut the cake into approximately four slices.
Terry Pratchett
#82. My way of making people like me was to make 'em laugh.
Carrot Top
#83. I don't want to be known just as 'Carrot Top.' I don't always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.
Carrot Top
#84. Like I told Howard, I can't help it that I'm beautiful.
Carrot Top
#85. Do you know where 'policeman' comes from, sir? ... 'Polis' used to mean 'city', said Carrot. That's what policeman means: 'a man for the city'. Not many people knew that. The word 'polite' comes from 'polis', too. It used to mean the proper behaviour from someone living in a city.
Terry Pratchett
#86. Every time you have a carrot instead of a cookie, every time you go to the gym instead of going to the movies, that's a costly investment in your health. But how much you want to invest is going to depend on how much longer you expect to live in the future, even if you don't make those investments.
Emily Oster
#87. Someday Isle is not a dream vacation spot.
It is an imaginary destination to which you will never arrive.
It is the carrot on the stick perpetually in front of you.
So close you can see it, yet you will never reach it.
Don't vacation on Someday Isle.
Frank F. Lunn
#88. Carrot stared straight ahead of him with the glistening air of one busting with duty and efficiency and an absolute resolve to duck and dodge any direct questions put to him
Terry Pratchett
#90. Carrot Top ... I gave him advice once and he ran with it. He should thank me.
Rip Taylor
#91. Almost every day, someone asks if I ever flat iron my hair. I say, 'No, because I'm afraid it wouldn't look good and wouldn't come back curly.'
Carrot Top
#92. The truly healthy alternative to that chip is not a fake chip; it's a carrot.
Mark Bittman
#93. You look pretty," I said, leaning against the counter beside her. She snapped into the carrot. "Thanks." "Think I might fuck you senseless in a few minutes." Shrugging and pretending to look nonchalant, she murmured, "Okay.
Christina Lauren
#94. The day is coming when a single carrot, freshly observed, will set off a revolution.
Paul Cezanne
#95. Nobody seems more obsessed by diet than our antimaterialist, otherworldly, New Age, spiritual types. But if the material world is merely illusion, an honest guru should as content with Budweiser and bratwurst as with raw carrot juice, tofu, and seaweed slime.
Edward Abbey
#96. I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.
Carrot Top
#97. It seems like I've been writing since birth! I started writing poems before I got to school. I wrote the class musical in first grade - both words and music. It was about a bunch of vegetables who got together in a salad. I played the chief carrot!
Jane Yolen
#98. Life, people learned, was not easy. Life was not cake. Life was not a carrot cake.
Tao Lin
#99. Keep harping on about how Europe's close to accepting you," the American ambassador to Moldova suggested coldly to the president, when the latter came to ask for a loan. "They'll grab onto that like a rabbit after a carrot. But I'm sorry. I cannot give you any money.
Vladimir Lorchenkov
#100. I once died my hair blonde, and it looked like an orangey-red carrot top. It was the '80s, and I was trying to look like George Michael. At the time, the ladies loved it, and I loved it too!
Nigel Barker
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