Top 91 Birthday Old Quotes
#1. At 50, you need to laugh about your age. If you don't, everybody else will do it for you. Happy birthday, old chum!
Helen Hayes
#2. At 50, if you are on a diet on your birthday, you can't eat a piece of your birthday cake. So grab two, a piece in each hand and, lo and behold, you will be on a balanced diet! Happy birthday, old chum!
Abraham Lincoln
#4. A birthday is just another day where you go to work and people give you love. Age is just a state of mind, and you are as old as you think you are. You have to count your blessings and be happy.
Abhishek Bachchan
#6. I am six years old and instead of celebrating with birthday cakes, I chew on a piece of charcoal.
Loung Ung
#7. The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.
Doug Larson
#8. When the necessary eleven days were added, George Washington's birthday, which fell on February 11, 1731, Old Style, became February 22, 1732, New Style.
Daniel J. Boorstin
#9. Old people are fond of giving good advice; it consoles them for no longer being capable of setting a bad example.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld
#10. For Mum, life was fundamentally hell. You went blind, you got raped, people forgot your birthday, Nixon got elected, your husband fled with a blonde from Beckenham, and then you got old, you couldn't walk and you died.
Hanif Kureishi
#11. Old age is the time when birthday candles cost more than the birthday cake itself, and half of your urine is wasted on medical testing.
Faina Ranevskaya
#12. Fifty years old, 212 fights, and I'm still pretty.
Muhammad Ali
#13. During the writers' strike in 2007, we put on our own SNL episode there with old sketches. Michael Cera hosted, our musical guest was Yo La Tengo, and we gave Lorne a birthday cake as he sat in the audience.
Amy Poehler
#14. Happy Birthday to Fay Wray, a wonderful actress. She was, of course, in the movie 'King Kong' and would have been 99-years-old today. She was famous because of her love interest with a giant ape, and, wait a minute, that's Maria Shriver.
David Letterman
#15. Citizens, thank you for all your birthday wishes. I am 88 years old today and still lucky to live in the greatest city in the world.
Ed Koch
#16. I saw a birthday card the other day, and it said, "If you didn't know how old you were, how old would you think you were?" I started changing it in my mind right away to, "If you didn't know how sick you were, how sick would you think you were?"
Michael J. Fox
#17. The last time I'd spoken French I was twelve years old; before I reached my thirteenth birthday the teacher had correctly steered me into woodwork classes.
Craig Briggs
#18. I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too.
Liv Tyler
#19. Yeah, I know," he agreed. "It was a surprise," he admitted. "I mean, who the hell would have expected a ninety-seven-year-old man to just up and die?" Bill's dad had indeed been only three years from his one-hundredth birthday when he shocked everyone by waking up dead one morning.
Hope Jahren
#20. I worked at an ice cream parlor called Chadwicks. We wore old-timey outfits and had to bang a drum, play a kazoo, and sing 'Happy Birthday' to people while giving them free birthday sundaes. Lots of ice cream scooping and $1 tips.
Amy Poehler
#21. One begins to realize that one is getting old when the birthday candles weigh more than the cake.
Bette Davis
#22. Old age breeds the miracle of recall. You have no short-term memory atall; you can't remember what you did minutes ago, but you can recall with exquisite clarity what you did on your fifth birthday and how it all felt.
Vicki Covington
#23. At 50 you now have realized
?Getting old isn't fair?
And that it's hard to make a comeback
?When you haven't gone anywhere
John Walter Bratton
#24. My goodness, you're 60 already, already
Time is a thief
But still, you're only as old as your tongue
And a little bit older than your teeth
Have a wonderful birthday
John Walter Bratton
#25. On your 60th, here's something philosophical
To give the old grey matter a stir
How old would you be
If you didn't know how old you were?
John Walter Bratton
#26. My ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples - though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky!
J.K. Rowling
#27. It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.
Robert Orben
#28. Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years.
Ausonius
#29. It's like they think we're still five years old, coloring in kindergarten, and all the kids get cupcakes whether its their birthday or not. Maybe its a kind of self-preservation. If parents actually knew what their kids were like, they'd probably shoot themselves in the head.
Coert Voorhees
#30. The paradox of life; everyone desire a fuller life. But no one wishes to increase in age.
Lailah Gifty Akita
#31. To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.
Bernard Baruch
#32. A man is old when he can pass an apple orchard and not remember the stomachache.
James Russell Lowell
#33. If I had to live again I would do exactly the same thing. Of course I have regrets, but if you are 60 years old and you have no regrets then you haven't lived.
Christy Moore
#34. On every birthday, when I wake, I now take out the old Nagan, load it with one bullet, spin the chamber and pull the trigger with the barrel in my mouth. I've cheated death nine times. It is my greatest achievement. And three months to go to my next birthday. I can't wait.
Eddy Shah
#35. All my favorite stars, my family and my friends are here. I'm having the happiest birthday that an 18-year-old girl could ever have.
Brandy Norwood
#36. Once I was looking through the kitchen window at dusk and I saw an old woman looking in. Suddenly the light changed and I realized that the old woman was myself. you see, it all happens on the outside; inside one doesn't change.
Molly Keane
#37. 1 day left, today 16 years old tomorrow 17 years old... Just one DAY!
Deyth Banger
#38. It is not as if I want to be a princess. Since I was four years old I've spent every birthday, shooting star, wishbone, and lost eyelash wishing I did not have to be a princess!
Mili Fay
#39. All theology is a kind of birthday
Each one who is born
Comes into the world as a question
For which old answers
Are not sufficient ...
Thomas Merton
#40. I first picked up a guitar when I was ten years old; my parents surprised me with it for my tenth birthday. I started taking lessons when I was thirteen, but only for a few months, and then I just kept teaching myself.
Alessia Cara
#41. That realization: Her love was a lie, just like everything else was.
The day I'd be old enough to handle it: my seventeenth birthday
A.S. King
#42. One compensation of old age is that it excuses you from picnics.
William Feather
#43. What is Aldous capable of?"
"Aldous is two thousands years old. He's capable of anything."
"Aldous Nix is two thousands years old?"
"So, I've heard. He doesn't invite me to his birthday parties.
Cassandra Clare
#44. Being vintage like a fine wine
Should make you proud of being old
And being mature like a cheese
Certainly explains the mould!
Fester on undaunted into your 7th decade
John Walter Bratton
#45. I was going to put what birthday it was on the sign," he said, "but Jace said that after twenty, you're just old, so it doesn't matter anyway."
Jace stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth.
"I said that?
Cassandra Clare
#46. I was born on Halloween, and until I was eight years old my parents had me convinced that the candy people gave out when I knocked on their doors was birthday presents.
Ransom Riggs
#47. A birthday is a good time to begin a new; throwing away the old habits, as you would old clothes, and never putting them again.
Amos Bronson Alcott
#48. Today is my grandfather's birthday."
"How old is he?"
"Sixty-three. It's hard to believe he was once a human being.
Charles M. Schulz
#49. When I was in elementary school, I used to write letters to myself. I'd write letters and go 'Dear Kristen-at-16-years-old, happy birthday. I hope you're doing something.'
Kristin Kreuk
#51. You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton
#52. I have a strong memory of the day I was told that my father had a weak heart and that he had to go to the hospital. He died when I was nine years old on the same day that Franklin Roosevelt died; it was his 45th birthday.
Alan J. Heeger
#53. I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.
Johnny Vegas
#54. Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age.
Richard Armour
#55. If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
Euripides
#56. Success happened little by little for me. I tasted the flavor of fame in small doses: I started at 10 years old when I won a music contest; I was performing at birthday parties, company meetings.
Shakira
#58. Go fuck a fifteen-year old."
"Her birthday was in March. She's sixteen now."
"I'm hanging up on you.
Tiffany Reisz
#59. If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
Anthony
#60. In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.
Robert Breault
#61. The heart never grows better by age; I fear rather worse, always harder. A young liar will be an old one, and a young knave will only be a greater knave as he grows older.
Lord Chesterfield
#62. 50 years: here's a time when you have to separate yourself from what other people expect of you, and do what you love. Because if you find yourself 50 years old and you aren't doing what you love, then what's the point?
Jim Carrey
#63. You will recognize, my boy, the first sign of old age: it is when you go out into the streets of London and realize for the first time how young the policemen look.
Seymour Hicks
#64. At her birthday, my seven-year-old daughter will say that she wants these big cakes and certain expensive toys as presents, and I can't say no to her. It would just break my heart. But when I was little, for birthdays we just played outside and we were happy if we got any cake.
Goran Ivanisevic
#65. I had sort of had a 21st birthday when I was 17, 18 years old living in Japan. I had all of that stuff sort of happen earlier for me, which happens to a lot of people. My 21st birthday was just a little boring. Not a great story.
Sarah Wright
#66. Why, on my mother's birthday, am I thinking about 'Father Knows Best?' At our house, mother knew best at least as often as father did, but then the title of the old sitcom, a homogenized portrait of American family life, was meant to be slightly sardonic.
Tom Shales
#67. At times is it seems that I am living my life backward, and that at the approach of old age my real youth will begin. My soul was born covered with wrinkles. Wrinkles my ancestors and parents most assiduously put there and that I had the greatest trouble removing.
Andre Gide
#68. A man thirty years old, I said to myself, should have his field of life all ploughed, and his planting well done; for after that it is summer time.
Lew Wallace
#69. Congratulations!
If I may be so bold
Only 40 years to go
Before you're a century old
Just saying
John Walter Bratton
#70. We can't reach old age by another man's road.
Mark Twain
#71. You really must stop acting
Like a 20-year-old, gold plated
In a midlife crisis
You just graduated
Happy 60th
John Walter Bratton
#72. Yes, you're very very old
But try to think of it as not being cursed
After all, in a hostage situation
You'd be released first!
John Walter Bratton
#73. I am 13 years old, I am 13 stone, I have no money, no friends, and boys throw gravel at me. It's my birthday, and I went to bed at 7.15pm.
Caitlin Moran
#74. ... tomorrow was her birthday, and she was thinking how fast the years went by, how old she was getting, and how little she seemed to have accomplished. Almost twenty-five and nothing to show for it.
Louisa May Alcott
#75. Pain is annoying and unnecessary, like getting an e-mail in all caps. It's like a six-year-old who alerts you every fifteen seconds that he wants Hungry Hungry Hippos for his birthday. Yes, I understand. Message received.
A. J. Jacobs
#76. If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.
Jim Eason
#77. Don't celebrate how old you are, celebrate the years you survived.
Touaxia Vang
#78. I consider the 70s to be the youth of old age. So all you women out there who are afraid of getting older, just keep your orgasms in place, eat a lot of vegetables, take exercise, and you'll be fine.
Betty Dodson
#79. You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
Alan King
#80. Enjoy how sweet, how thoughtful, how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.
Melvin Helitzer
#81. Wish on everything. Pink cars are good, especially old ones. And stars of course, first stars and shooting stars. Planes will do if they are the first light in the sky and look like stars. Wish in tunnels, holding your breath and lifting your feet off the ground. Birthday candles. Baby teeth.
Francesca Lia Block
#83. Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago, has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.
Jerome K. Jerome
#84. If you survive long enough, you're revered-rather like an old building.
Katharine Hepburn
#85. Disney World is celebrating its 40th birthday! You can tell the characters are getting old. In addition to Snow White's seven dwarfs, she now has 25 cats.
Jimmy Fallon
#86. I'm actually a perpetual 13-year-old. I've never advanced beyond 13. Every day, tomorrow is my 14th birthday. That's my kind of humor.
Terry Crews
#87. Remember how excited you were when you turned five years old. Today, you should be 10 times that excited. Happy 50th birthday!
Franklin P. Adams
#88. I crashed my boyfriend's birthday when I was 12 years old. He didn't invite me and so I showed up.
Isla Fisher
#90. I'm going to die very soon. Before my 21st birthday. I won't live to be 21. I'm never going to be old. I don't ever want to be ugly and old. I'm an old lady now anyhow. I'm 80. There's nothing left. I've already lived a whole lifetime. I'm going out. In a blaze of glory.
Nancy Spungen
#91. A real man is one who remembers the lady's birthday, but never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers her birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, - is her husband.
Faina Ranevskaya
