Top 100 Bastard Quotes
#1. You never chased a sentient into his own environment unless you absolutely had to and you had sufficient forces to handle ten times the force you could see. Break that rule at your peril, as the poor screaming bastard in the water was now learning.
Evan Currie
#2. I read Wolfe's new book _ The Story of a Novel_ and as usual he stole the whole damn thing from me. I am going to write and say will you please stop writing books you bastard.
Jean Stafford
#3. Ari stood up to greet them, and Crawford went back to his grumpy bastard therapy, which some people confused with spinning.
Amy Lane
#4. I'll stare the bastard in the face as he screams to God, and I'll laugh harder when he whimpers like a baby. And when his eyes go dead, the hell I send him to will seem like heaven after what I've done to him.
Frank Miller
#5. He was such a bastard. Maybe he should have Remy shoot him again, just for good measure.
Abigail Roux
#6. [ ... ] Lilith turned on me with the same fury I had watched her unleash on that fat bastard on the TV and I seriously feared for my balls.
Tabitha McGowan
#7. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't chop him into worthless-bastard-themed confetti.
Isabelle Lightwood
Cassandra Clare
#8. I was a bastard today. A fucking bastard. And I enjoyed it." ~
Sophie Kisker
#9. Let me say, on behalf of the entire gay male community, we hate your fucking guts 'cause you landed him. Share, you selfish bastard.
Andrea Speed
#10. If he weren't so thoroughly wrung out, he could kill the bastard on the spot. In his present condition, he'd be lucky to strangle a gnat
Cinda Williams Chima
#12. No?" She looked at him incredulously. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't chop him into worthless-bastard-themed confetti.
Cassandra Clare
#13. Well, there was a sort of bastard justice in his view of the case, and so I dropped the matter. When you can't cure a disaster by argument, what is the use to argue?
Mark Twain
#14. Prickomo fucking cocksca. That bastard old arsehole-fucker.
Joe Abercrombie
#15. I silently hand him back the newspaper and he takes it, his fingertips brushing mine. The contact makes my skin tingle. Stupid handsome bastard.
L. H. Cosway
#17. I need none of your absolution, bastard.
Anonymous
#18. It's one thing to wave at the Devil from afar, quite another to shake the bastard's hand.
Joe R. Lansdale
#19. I love you. You're mine. I'll kill any bastard who tries to take you from me.
Samantha Young
#20. God, he was an evil bastard, but boy was he good!
MFR
#21. Christopher Tietjens is a sad sorry bastard who just refuses to get out of the way on the oncoming train of change.
Ada Maria Soto
#22. Mitch glanced at Ralph and back at Brendon. "I think he's snoring."
"Or those are hunger growls."
"Bastard.
Shelly Laurenston
#24. The advantage to being a wicked bastard is that everyone pesters the Lord on your behalf; if volume of prayers from my saintly enemies means anything, I'll be saved when the Archbishop of Canterbury is damned. It's a comforting thought.
George MacDonald Fraser
#25. Hey, those look good! Can I have one?" a man she'd seen hundreds of times around Jason's house asked, reaching out to take one.
"Back the fuck off! She brought them for me, you bastard!" Jason snapped.
R.L. Mathewson
#26. He whirled in the water and grinned at me. Damn, he was a handsome bastard. I realized he was half-naked. Blue swirls of tattoos painted his chest. When God made that chest, he did to tempt women.
Ilona Andrews
#27. A battered wife is a married woman until she gets a divorce. Or until she kills the bastard.
John Grisham
#29. You bastard."
"My parents were married.
Mira Grant
#30. Fate. I bloody hate Fate. He's such a nosey bastard.
K.F. Breene
#31. Grief's a bastard, it really is - pardon my French. It makes everything else harder.
David Mitchell
#32. He's more than just a good-looking guy and you know it. But, I thought, he doesn't have flashlight eyes or a cocky-bastard smile that can boil water or a voice from the heavens and most of all he says things like, It's only rock 'n' roll.
Tiffanie DeBartolo
#33. What have you been reading, The Gospel according to St. Bastard?!
Eddie Izzard
#34. Hello,
I know that now you - father you are reading this
Fuck you, fuck you, how did you decide to suicide fucking bastard!...
Deyth Banger
#35. Will isn't my little bastard assistant. Will is Pellinore Warthrop's little bastard assistant.
Rick Yancey
#36. Or because he got eighteen years when he should have gotten more.'
'Seventeen,' Gus corrected.
'I'm assuming you've got some time, you interrupting bastard.
John Green
#37. Callie stared at Daniel. "Bastard!" she hissed. He smiled serenely. His grip was still upon her and he pulled her close, whispering. "The bastard you are about to promise to love, honor, and obey." "I don't love you." "I'm merely shooting for two out of three, and the last two will do nicely.
Heather Graham
#38. Theon swept his cloak off its peg and over his shoulders. "Fathers are like that," he admitted as he pinned the folds with a silver clasp. "Tell him he should be pleased. As many times as I've fucked you, you're likely with child. It's not every man who has the honor of raising a king's bastard.
George R R Martin
#39. Sometimes one forgets that not everyone in this world is a bastard.
Carlos Ruiz Zafon
#40. I'm the kind of bastard they only manufacture in the barrel.
Leigh Bardugo
#41. Zach," Seth greeted him cautiously. "I'm surprised you joined us."
"Apparently, he's an enigma," Marcus drawled, the words dripping with sarcasm.
Seth actually felt the urge to smile.
"And you're the luckiest bastard on the planet," Zach declared. "They love you, faults and all.
Dianne Duvall
#42. His middle name has got to be Arrogant Bastard because that's what he is.
Victoria Denault
#43. I can be ruthless, unforgiving, and a manipulative bastard. But I don't play games with sex.
Naima Simone
#44. Yeah, that's right, Doc: I'm Chess Pargeter, he's Ed Morrow-this is a gun, so's this. Now, I'm just gonna go outside and kill that big bastard, and if I come back in here and find Ed ain't been fixed in the interim, you best believe I will end you. Got that?
Gemma Files
#45. You sick bastard," she said.
"Yes, I guess you could call me that." Terry replied.
Jonas Eriksson
#46. He was a crusty old bastard, dressed like my uncle in ancient denim coveralls, espadrilles and beret. He had a leathery, tanned and windblown face, hollow cheeks, and the tiny broken blood vessels on nose and cheeks that everyone seemed to have from drinking so much of the local Bordeaux.
Anthony Bourdain
#47. Bastard."
"You love me."
"Yes, I do. Now let me come.
Jaci Burton
#48. A million years ago - some hairy bastard daubed a horse on the wall of his cave, he saw it, he drew it - well done! Flash forward: 'Hello, welcome to my vlog. Today I bought a plum
Patrick Marber
#49. It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
Dorothy Parker
#51. My feet hurt, Hell-Bard."
"Good for you."
"My wrists hurt too."
"Fascinating."
... "You're a bastard.
Susan Dennard
#52. They never got you, don't you know that? You irritating, charming, stubborn, evolved, intolerable, sweet, complex, caring, melodramatic bastard with your heart of gold. They never got you. You're wholly you, and you're perfect.
Dianna Hardy
#53. You want me to be honest with you?" Vigholf snapped. "You want me to tell you why I have my hungry face as you call it? Because of you. Because I'm hungry for you. If there's anything I want to eat - it's you."
Rhona stepped back, hands on hips, and accused, "You cannibalistic bastard!"
G.A. Aiken
#54. If Castle Dracula screwed a hospital, this would be the bastard offspring.
Larissa Ione
#55. The real Ashton - the quirky bastard with the smart-ass smile and thrift-store style - could get me to do anything.
Santino Hassell
#56. A storm caught them on the way. The fisherman drowned, but his daughter got Stark to the Sisters before the boat went down. They say he left her with a bag of silver and a bastard in her belly. Jon Snow, she named him, after Arryn.
George R R Martin
#57. Thought you could steal the pepper, did you?! Thought you could try darning my socks while I was asleep, did you?! I wanted those holes there, you little bastard! I wanted those holes there!" He throttled the duck and swung it up and down, whumping it on the table.
Clayton Smith
#58. It was all I could do not to fall on my knees and weep like the bastard she always said I was, and I was a breath away from begging her to run away with me.
Tiffanie DeBartolo
#59. I'm lucky yes I am don't argue I'm the luckiest bastard in the world. And: how wonderful it was to have before him the stretching, shady avenue of years, the prospect of growing old in the presence of her gentleness.
Salman Rushdie
#60. It's a good thing you're an aging orphan," he murmured, gently pushing the hair away from her face. "I don't have to wait around to get anyone's permission."
"Permission for what, you rat bastard?" she said.
"Such language, dragon. I'm afraid you're going to have to marry me.
Anne Stuart
#61. The line between being practical and being a bastard is thin.
Joe Hart
#62. Chav-bashing draws on a long, ignoble tradition of class hatred. But it cannot be understood without looking at more recent events. Above all, it is the bastard child of a very British class war.
Owen Jones
#63. It was because she was listening so closely that she knew the exact moment when Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the bastard of the Barrel and deadliest boy in Ketterdam, fainted.
Leigh Bardugo
#64. Shigure: "That's lovely. She's so ... how shall I say it? By putting it into words I'm afraid the nobility of it all would only be obscured."
Yuki: "Of what?"
Shigure: "You know, she's so spunky!"
Kyo: "You sick bastard!
Natsuki Takaya
#65. Let me guess. A certain unkempt bastard with a panty-dropping smile?
Michelle Hodkin
#66. She had not thought of them as "fat," though. She had thought of them as "big," because one of the first things her friend Ginika told her was that "fat" in America was a bad word, heaving with moral judgment like "stupid" or "bastard," and not a mere description like "short" or "tall.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
#68. I'm a bastard but even I don't kill my own people, unless it's absolutely necessary.
Ilona Andrews
#69. You're naught but a human man. You couldn't possibly understand."
He lifted a brow, still smiling. "Liar."
"Cutpurse."
"Runaway."
"Swindler!
"Coward," he said softly, and she jerked back.
"Bastard!"
"Undoubtedly true." He made a short bow.
Shana Abe
#70. Bastard hits harder than a fucking freight train."
I just smiled. "I know.
Jeaniene Frost
#71. The bastard was effectively stuck until he and Morfyd helped him. Fearghus smiled a little at his father's suffering and the female who caused it.
I do love that woman.
G.A. Aiken
#72. You think you want me now. But you'll change. Someday you'll find it damned easy to forget about me. I'm a bastard. A servant, and not even an upper servant at that
"
"You're the other half of me." (Again The Magic)
Lisa Kleypas
#73. That she had loved Sylveste because he was such a self-important bastard and made something noble of being a self-important bastard, did it with such utter aplomb that it became a kind of virtue, like the wearing of sackcloth
Alastair Reynolds
#74. You stupid bastard, does what you're fighting for look so real now? Skin pigment. What a laugh! Why not eye color? Too bad nobody ever thought of that. It cuts it a little finer, but basically it's the same thing.
Philip K. Dick
#75. If he is a half-decent human being, he will find himself the object of crushes. If he is a cocky bastard, even more so.
Piper Kerman
#76. Oh God! I moan out as her hand slows. Will it always be like this with her? Holy shit. I'll be dead by the time I'm thirty-two. But what a way to go. Death by orgasm. He came so hard he had an aneurism. Lucky bastard.
Mia Sheridan
#77. Or better yet, may all the gods who ever were bless us, and help us send the bloody bastard to hell.
Nora Roberts
#78. That's what I've never been able to get about religion: that charmless combination of altruism and insanity. Give me a cynical, self-interested bastard any day of the week; at least you can play chicken with him and know he'll stick to the rules.
Mike Carey
#79. Real happiness, in politics, is a wide-open hammer shot on some poor bastard who knows he's been trapped, but can't flee.
Hunter S. Thompson
#82. I'm just interested in finding out what the hell goes. I mean do you have to be a goddam bohemian type, or dead, for Chrissake, to be a real poet? What do you want - some bastard with wavy hair?
J.D. Salinger
#83. The last one was a bitch. this one was three bitches and a bastard
George R R Martin
#84. There was just one cheeky bastard in the club that night and it started World War Three. There was a bloodbath down there, they all got locked up, and the police dogs didn't need feeding for a week after that.
Stephen Richards
#85. Son, we live in the era where the villains aren't always bad. They probably are the ones who stand for the truth better than us!" ~General Susilo, Lost Bastard
Bima Whynot
#86. There's definitely some parallels between me and Joaquin Phoenix, I think. The line gets so blurry. My rap career wasn't a hoax, but it was absolutely intended to be a joke. The problem was that I really was on a quest to somehow be a Caucasian Ol' Dirty Bastard.
Steve-O
#87. Baji-naji, nand' paidhi. Fortune has a human face and bastard Chance whores drunken down your streets.
C.J. Cherryh
#88. Bran was always a deceptive bastard, gentle and mild right up until he ripped your throat out. He had many other fine qualities as well.
Patricia Briggs
#89. Beauty really was skin-deep. Wesley Rush may have had the body of a Greek god, but his soul was as black and empty as the inside of my closet. What a bastard!
Kody Keplinger
#90. My name is all but lost to antiquity while his legend is told and retold around the world. Yet I am a god and he is nothing but a bastard seed not even fit to inhabit Olympus. (Priapus)
Get your hands off her, you worthless footnote. You're not fit to wipe her shoes. (Julian)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#91. Tell him he should be pleased. As many times as I've fucked you, you're likely with child. It's not every man who has the honor of raising a king's bastard. She looked at him stupidly, so he left her there.
George R R Martin
#92. I'll never be good enough for you, I know that. But I'm no good without you, and if that makes me a selfish bastard for wanting you as badly as I do then so be it because I can't live a life that doesn't have you in it.
Samantha Towle
#93. He stuck around till around dinnertime, talking about all the guys at Pencey that he hated their guts, and squeezing this big pimple on his chin. He didn't even use a handkerchief. I don't even think the bastard had a handkerchief, if you want to know the truth. I never saw him use one, anyway.
J.D. Salinger
#94. How'm I doin'?" Jim asked in his own voice - hey, he could talk out of the bastard's mouth, too.
Across the way, Adrian shrugged. "Pretty damn good - I can't sense you. But I gotta ask - the pair of you want a cigarette? Or are you going for a twofer?
J.R. Ward
#95. Bones let out a snort. "I didn't doubt your actions for a moment. You've never been able to turn down playing the hero to rescue me." Bastard, I thought, and hoped that got through loud and clear.
Jeaniene Frost
#96. Someone stake that bastard, please, and for the sake of the gods, dust Benny off the table by the fountain. The powder's disgusting and it's getting into the blood. (Apollite)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#97. Luxury is an enticing pleasure, a bastard mirth, which hath honey in her mouth, gall in her heart, and a sting in her tail.
Francis Quarles
#98. All Lucas had to do was exert his will and the unfaithful bastard's heart would shrivel in his chest. But where was the fun in that?
D.B. Reynolds
#99. A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant and a bastard.
Billy Wilder
#100. There were times - not many, but a few - when Jon Snow was glad he was a bastard.
George R R Martin
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