Jennifer Coburn Quotes

#1. Changing yourself into who you think someone else wants is hurting yourself. It's a rejection of who you are, and that's toxic. You're committing emotional suicide." I

Jennifer Coburn

#2. Visiting Florence was like attending a surprise party every day.

Jennifer Coburn

#3. Ask any single parent whether they'd like an extra set of hands around the house and they'd take it." They'd take it if it weren't the set of hands belonging to the rat bastard who asked for a divorce the same day the pregnancy test read positive.

Jennifer Coburn

#4. What Jews do you know who don't make comedy of their lives? It's part of the religion. I'll bet you think all that Hebrew at bar mitzvahs is prayers, don't you? Fooled you, didn't we? It's stand-up.

Jennifer Coburn

#5. It infuriated me that men could walk around feeling perfectly good about their appearance whether they had a unibrow, triple chin, or skin flaps hanging off their eyelids, but stunning women like Faidra felt the need to have an unblemished butthole. The world is insane. Not

Jennifer Coburn

#6. He was the kind of guy who won the stupid tricks contest at local bars by inhaling a silver chain up his nostril and pulling it out his mouth.

Jennifer Coburn

#7. I am a thousand scattered pieces that no one has bothered to put together.

Jennifer Coburn

#8. This seemed to drive home the basic principle that perspective and distance affect perception.

Jennifer Coburn

#9. Without music, our culture is a poor and soulless place where people simply exist but cease to live.

Jennifer Coburn

#10. Timing is a wonderful thing sometimes. It can save us from ourselves.

Jennifer Coburn

#11. Fear of dying young isn't an altogether bad thing. Sometimes it makes you try what you might otherwise delay.

Jennifer Coburn

#12. During one session, the therapist returned from a trip to the rest room to find that another dog had dug a hole in a potted plant and buried Mancha.

Jennifer Coburn

#13. He interrupted. "No, Lisa, other families do not have sons who are Girl Scouts. I'm teaching that boy to fight," Jason muttered to himself, "A gay, black Girl Scout. What the hell happened to this family? We were normal back in San Francisco.

Jennifer Coburn

#14. Not to make sweeping generalizations about men, but I can pretty well guess how this conversation would go down. Jack: Everything okay? You seem down in the mouth lately. Maxime: It is fine. Jack: Okay, just checking. See ya.

Jennifer Coburn

#15. It was that Michelle had the rare gift of taking people as they came.

Jennifer Coburn

#16. MFA program at the University of Michigan when we met.

Jennifer Coburn

#17. One semester, I was busted for reverse plagiarism, which basically meant I was too lazy to research a paper for my psychology class so cited false references to support my own theories on deviant behavior.

Jennifer Coburn

#18. Other couples are living separately ever after,

Jennifer Coburn

#19. was like a crystal bowl filled with warm kettle corn. But when you lifted it up and checked the bottom, you could see a layer of burnt, unpopped kernels. The kind that makes you flinch from the unexpected bitter taste. The kind that may cause you to chip a tooth.

Jennifer Coburn

#20. What will I do? I'll do as I have always done, darling. I will go on. I will survive. I shall overcome." It's tough to manage sounding like Scarlett O'Hara, Gloria Gaynor, and a one-woman civil rights movement all at the same time, but Anjoli pulled it off with aplomb.

Jennifer Coburn

#21. To know Paris, Bruno began, pulling on his cigarette, you need to relax, have a glass of wine, and enjoy life.

Jennifer Coburn