Top 100 Bastard Quotes
#1. He curled his claw into a fist. "I'd like to shove a stake up that bastard's ass."
Adam's lip curled. "Remind me not to piss you off."
The demon raised his brow. "Trust that shit, mancy.
Jaye Wells
#2. Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.
John Milton
#3. The one who reigns must die,
At the hands of she born last,
And the last will make the first,
When the bastard twins are one,
And blessed be the newborn King,
For Charyn will be barren no more.
Melina Marchetta
#4. That crazy bastard may be the only sane one left.
Joseph Heller
#5. No one knew who he was. No one knew where he came from. He'd become Kaz Brekker, cripple and confidence man, bastard of the Barrel. The
Leigh Bardugo
#6. Dorothy Allison's Bastard Out of Carolina is a coming-of-age novel about Ruth Ann (Bone) Boatwright and a difficult childhood made even harder by her violent and predatory stepfather.
Nancy Pearl
#7. I waltzed into the hall with my escort of five screws like some rapper with his well-paid entourage. A fiendish looking, little bastard with blonde hair and a crooked nose came up to me and said, 'Okay, Holland, welcome to Shotts. Welcome to the man-eater!
Stephen Richards
#10. Just who am I?" the rough baritone asked in the infuriatingly amused tone one might use with a temperamental child. You're a monster, she wanted to say. A giant - huge and thickly muscled and terrifying. But she flung back her answer like her papa's own daughter. "You're the rebel bastard Glen Lyon.
Kimberly Cates
#11. Ego and superego were dispatched with a single swift, killing blow and in swaggered my new ruler - that primitive little hedonistic bastard, the id.
Karen Marie Moning
#12. Van Holtz, you bastard! You're doing this on purp ... on ... oh! That feels very nice. Do that again.
Shelly Laurenston
#13. But Jackal gave a low, humorless chuckle. 'Oh you bastard.' He smiled, shaking his head and staring up at the barn. 'That's cute. Let's see if you're as funny when I'm beating you to death with your own arm.
Julie Kagawa
#14. Doc seemed to gather himself to say something important, and spoke as firmly as he could, though his voice was somewhere between a whisper and a whine. Wyatt, I cannot make you another denture. No more fights. You get that mad again, shoot the bastard. Promise me.
Mary Doria Russell
#15. The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
George S. Patton
#16. He could do with some lunch. Especially since that bastard Sloane gave his Cheesy Doodles away. What kind of guy does that? A bastard, that's who. Did he not respect the male code of honor - thou shalt not steal another dude's snacks?
--Dex
Charlie Cochet
#17. A company of wolves, is better than a company of wolves in sheep's clothing.
Anthony Liccione
#18. She was the most precious thing in the world to him. So beautiful, so sweet, so giving and too damn good for him, but he was a selfish bastard and wouldn't let her go.
R.L. Mathewson
#19. No, blast it! I can't even shoot the bastard, without dishonoring my brother's sworn word!
Diana Gabaldon
#20. My God," Hadrian said. "They finally did it! All those oh-so-cute-my-cuddly-kitten-here's-a-pic bastard! They finally went and did it!
Steven Erikson
#21. Bet he was myrrh," said Josh. "Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me. My mother told me the myrrh went bad after a week too." Did I mention that Joshua was not a myrrh fan?
Christopher Moore
#23. Sure he's dead, and it's a good thing for us. It's hard to argue with a dead man. A dead man can't change his mind or make new rules, or behave like a bastard so no one will listen to him anymore. A dead man stays a saint.
Cherie Priest
#24. Is there ever a time you're not an arrogant bastard?"
"Is there ever a time you're not a difficult bitch?"
"No."
"Then I guess that makes us perfectly matched, now doesn't it?
G.A. Aiken
#25. I have too much doubt. It's the bastard child of fear. I hate fear. So doubt sidles up next to determination in my heart. It doesn't outweigh it. They coexist.
Kim Holden
#26. We should celebrate. We each married a sadistic killer." His head tilted toward Isa as we drank our coffee. "I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard she ends up with.
Scarlett Dawn
#27. I reached for my bag but Logan refused, insisting on carrying it. Because he just had to do perfect gentlemanly things that made me like him even more. That bastard.
Cara Lynn Shultz
#28. After four hundred and ninety-nine years of existence, Connor Buchanan arrived at an inescapable conclusion regarding himself. He was a coldhearted old bastard.
Kerrelyn Sparks
#29. There exists a bastard cuisine that is too often assumed to be real French cooking.
Richard Olney
#30. He'd now officially become his brother's bastard child who impregnated his stepsister.
Penelope Ward
#31. So do you think it's true what they say? About girls liking bastards?'
'He's not a bastard. He's an idiot.'
'Do girls like idiots then?
David Nicholls
#33. The bastard form of mass culture is humiliated repetition ... always new books, new programs, new films, news items, but always the same meaning.
Roland Barthes
#34. Well, we learned a vital lesson here today, me mateys. You canna keelhaul a demon no matter how hard you try for it. The rotten crafty beastie bastard won't be having none of it.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#35. But when she finally says something, I know which part struck her the hardest.
It's the part that makes me look like the bastard most people have always thought me to be.
M. Leighton
#36. Fishing, if I a fisher may protest, Of pleasures is the sweetest of sports the best, Of exercises the most excellent, Of recreations the most innocent. But now the sport is marred, and why you ask? Fishes decrease, and fishers multiply.
Thomas Bastard
#37. I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.
Dave Matthes
#38. I was just thinking if the sex with you is one-tenth as fun as arguing with you. I'll be one happy bastard."
"You'll never find out. You--------"
He kissed me.
~ Jack Travis & Ella Varner
Lisa Kleypas
#39. What is your name?" she murmured.
He cocked an eyebrow at her and then went back to staring at his brother. "I'm the evil one, in case you haven't figured it out."
"I wanted your name, not your calling."
"Being a bastard's more of a compulsion, really. And it's Zsadist. I am Zsadist.
J.R. Ward
#40. Why was I mad? Because he'd surprised me with a really nice hotel room. What a bastard.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#41. In any case I would cut myself a path to the throne even if some bastard-born herder had fathered me on a gutter-whore - genealogy can work for me or I can cut down the family tree and make a battering ram. Either way is good.
Mark Lawrence
#42. Well, now that I'm thoroughly and diligently queer, I expected more manly love-talk, you know? Not like Pretty Baby and feeding you grapes and stuff," he snorted.
"Uh, you mean like, hey you bastard I don't have a beer and nobody's sucking my dick, what's wrong with this picture?
Z.A. Maxfield
#43. Achmed 'Two Jews walk into a bar'
No no no no no' Jeff
You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard' Achmed"
-Achmed the dead terrorist and Jeff
Jeff Dunham
#44. If he licked her there, she'd rob a bank for him.
When she felt his tongue glide across her throat, she quivered all over. Mick tightensed his hold on her, and the bastard did it again.
Jaci Burton
#45. If I ever see you again, you traitorous bastard, I'll take out the other fucking eye!
Pittacus Lore
#46. It was hard to keep up the fight for the freedom of your fellow man when your fellow man was a bastard.
K.J. Charles
#47. In North Korea, even arithmetic is a propaganda tool. A typical problem would go like this: "If you kill one American bastard and your comrade kills two, how many dead American bastards do you have?
Yeonmi Park
#48. Bastard had the bad manners to die before we were through talking to him.
Maya Banks
#49. Who was the mad bastard who taught you to drive?' he asked, holding on tight as they swerved in and out between cars on the three-lane motorway leading to Ekeberg tunnel. 'Self-taught,' Beate said.
Jo Nesbo
#50. You do not win a war by dying for your country. You win a war by making sure that some poor bastard dies for his.
Mal Peet
#51. Sometimes being a contrary bastard was a real pain.
Lori Foster
#52. Call me later, you'd said, so I could call you later, at night, and it is those nights I miss you, Ed, the most, on the phone, you beautiful bastard.
Daniel Handler
#53. The parrot eyed me cautiously, like he was forming a vague memory of unhappier times, before Jimmy Buffett and ganja.
"Noisy bastard," he decided.
Rick Riordan
#54. And so because he was half bastard, half gentleman, he asked for her bra
Alison Kent
#55. You know that Kate called Walter a heartless bastard?"
"And an asshole. I am quite proud.
Aimee Carter
#56. Being around people with whom you feel a connection, on many levels, not just a professional one, is very relaxing. Your ears are more open to someone who is not a cantankerous bastard.
Jacqueline Bisset
#57. You would have realized that it wasn't Mumtaz, a muslim, a friend of yours, but a human being you had killed. I mean, if he was a bastard, by killing him you wouldn't have killed the bastard in him; similarly, assuming that he was a Muslim, you wouldn't have killed his Muslimness, but him.
Saadat Hasan Manto
#58. We are all going to die soon. Do you really wish to waste time being angry at me?"
"Yes. I remain an unrepentant optimist. If i see that I am about to die, or you, I will forgive you. But not until then, you bastard.
Sherry Thomas
#59. Can you not see it? Can you not feel how badly I want you? I'm a selfish bastard, I'm worse then you'll ever know, but I'll answer to God or anyone else who tries to stand in our way so long as I know you're safe.
Alexandra Bracken
#60. Bastard children were born from lust and lies, men said; their nature was wanton and treacherous. - Jon Snow
George R R Martin
#61. Was that pity? I think it was. No wonder, I even pity myself. Will the pity make her love me? Make her take me home with her and look after me like the plant? Fucking bastard smug plant.
Rhona Cameron
#62. Barack Obama is an even worse president than George W. Bush, because an evil bastard who knows what he's doing is far more dangerous than an evil bastard who doesn't have a clue.
Michel Templet
#63. She wanted to give people something kind and simple. That wasn't available.
The cheap cake was horrible. The expensive cake tasted of greed - of greedy bakers.
She couldn't win.
Who knew cake was such a bastard?
A. L. Kennedy
#64. the more I get to know Ray, the more I hate him. The bastard is rude, crude and lewd. He's not a good dude. Yep, Dr. Seuss could write a series of adult rhyming books about that creep.
Elle Kennedy
#65. The thing about dead people ... The thing is you sound like a bastard if you don't romanticize them, but the truth is ... complicated, I guess.
John Green
#66. Ari turned to face the huge Jinn with fury in her eyes. "You bastard."
"Actually, I have a father. I just don't like him very much.
Samantha Young
#68. I think it's wonderful that people in pickup trucks are buying two flats of dog food and a copy of 'Bastard.' I want my view of the world to be right up there next to gallon boxes of Tide.
Dorothy Allison
#69. Grizzled old bastard like him don't go providing death-bed transformations.
Sebastian Barry
#70. In that moment, lying there on the floor in agony, he realized that was why his feelings for Liv had so drastically changed. Earlier, she had actually gotten up and attacked one of the men, trying to protect him. Him. A complete bastard who never did anything for anyone.
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
#71. If some crazy bastard tossed you into a lake when you couldn't swim, and you learned to swim like that" - Bickel snapped his fingers - "and you found then you could just keep on going, wouldn't you swim like hell to get away from the crazy bastard?
Frank Herbert
#72. Forgive the pessimism, if not the sonority. But I know how much you demand from a thing, you little bastard.
J.D. Salinger
#73. Zeus was kind of a sneaky bastard and was always morphing into other creatures to get it on with the ladies...
Sibylla Matilde
#74. I reckon if you care for someone and you can't have their love, you can either be a spiteful bastard about it or you can try your damnedest to make sure they're going to find some happiness in the world.
Lindsay Buroker
#75. He's a bastard, that blond monster." "You know you love him." "Entirely against my will," Kingsley said, "and with all my heart.
Tiffany Reisz
#76. No, no, no separate but equal ... never the twain shall meet. And the pendulum kept swinging and it came to rest in the bastard hybrid known as the Daily Show.
Mo Rocca
#77. What?" demanded Liraz. "Why are you laughing?" "Because life's a bastard," was all Akiva could say. "Well then," was his sister's flat reply. "I guess we fit right in.
Laini Taylor
#78. You married a borderline psychotic who conquered the brutal circumstances he grew up in by being even more brutal. Add turning into a vampire and centuries of undead power struggles, and you have the crazy cruel bastard you fell in love with.
Jeaniene Frost
#79. Death, especially violent death, will turn the meanest bastard in the world into a nice guy. Why is that?
Laurell K. Hamilton
#81. For the first time, I see her. Fucking Sophia. I don't see her as a means to an end - a potential way to take down the bastard who killed my uncle. I see her. I see her as a woman, and she is beautiful.
Callie Hart
#82. Depression is a lying bastard.
You'll have better days, I promise you.
Sue Fitzmaurice
#83. You may call an eletric eel a rubber duck but that does not make it a rubber duck and god help the poor bastard who takes a bath with the duckie
Cassandra Clare
#84. Life is like a clam," Birds Mottle's father once told her. "Years filtering shit then some bastard cracks you open and scrapes you into its damned mouth.
Steven Erikson
#85. Wife," he murmured.
"Damn. The bastard fought dirty. Wife was her favorite word.
Erin Kellison
#86. The old man was cranky, bitter bastard, but it's the thorn in your side that leaves the biggest hole.
Jodi Picoult
#87. There was an old bastard named Lenin
Who did two or three million men in.
That's a lot to have done in
But where he did one in
That old bastard Stalin did ten in.
Robert Conquest
#88. I go because I sit in judgment on every poor, ulcerous bastard I know. Which in itself doesn't bother me too much. At least, I judge straight from the colon when I judge, and I know that I'll pay like hell for any judgment I mete out, sooner or later, one way or another.
J.D. Salinger
#89. The knocking persisted. It wasn't Derek. His knock would be careful, almost apologetic. This bastard knocked like he was doing me a favor.
Ilona Andrews
#90. He's a two-faced, cutthroat, dirt-dumb, chicken shit, slimy, little bastard with a bright future in politics.
John Grisham
#91. Man, it was a good thing he fought like a nasty bastard or he might have been taken for a nancy.
J.R. Ward
#92. I used to have Santa and the whole coal thing, but between Wade and their father, the little shits get whatever they want. They no longer feel like they need the fat bastard!
Ethan Day
#93. He's not Charonte, that would be too easy an excuse for him, and there really isn't one. He's just an irritable bastard ... Much like Savitar." Max
"I save your ass and you take a swipe at me? Really?" Savitar
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#94. Did I mention you're going to have to drive on our date?" I asked.
"Cheap bastard.
Patrick Carman
#96. Mr. Awkward rolls up between us, lights a cigarette, makes himself comfortable. It's the same bastard who shows up after you've bumped uglies with a stranger.
Victoria Scott
#97. You. Killed. A. Hermit. You. Weird. Sweaty. Bastard!
Lev Grossman
#98. You weren't kidding, Chloe. That is one beautiful bastard. I wouldn't kick him out of my bed. Or car. Or dressing room. Or elevator, or-
Christina Lauren
#99. Swish, I don't want a bastard, I want a leader. We don't drive men on board the Barb. We lead them. From my experience with bastards, they achieve about equal results. But there's one big difference. When you lead men, they ship over and want to stay with you. Anything else?
Eugene B. Fluckey
#100. Ask any single parent whether they'd like an extra set of hands around the house and they'd take it." They'd take it if it weren't the set of hands belonging to the rat bastard who asked for a divorce the same day the pregnancy test read positive.
Jennifer Coburn
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
