Top 34 Awkward Humor Quotes
#1. Are you real?" Stupid. Of course he's real.
"Yes, Julie. I'm not the mystical man from your dreams.
Caroline George
#2. As soon as he was gone I blew my breath out and leaned back against the wall. Awkward. First the cop who'd arrested me, then the paramedic who'd kept me from accidentally killing myself. I didn't even want to think what a third thing might be.
Diana Rowland
#3. When a child reaches puberty, parents become so curious about their sex lives and whereabouts, put them behind bars to their own detriment. When such a child breaks free, don't be surprised to see him/her in porn movies.
Michael Bassey Johnson
#4. You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.
Janet Evanovich
#5. I hated puberty. It had been that horrible stage from child hood, to pre teen, and my stage from ugly, to ugly with menstrual cramps.
Melissa Grijalva
#6. That awkward moment when you realize someone was actually home the whole time you were singing on the tops of your lungs.
Kasey Collin P. Dumdum
#7. Okay," I said. "Just a normal afternoon and two normal people."
She nodded. "And so ... hypothetically, if these to people likes each other, what would it take to get the stupid guy to kiss the girl, huh?"
"Oh ... " I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows-slow, dumb, and bright red. "Um ...
Rick Riordan
#9. It would seem this is the gift modernity has bestowed upon our generation: the practice of "dating," an awkward procedure where a man and a woman find themselves talking rot to each other in a darkened room. If it were up to me, I would say modernity can keep it, as I want no part.
Suzanne Rindell
#10. I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race.
George W. Bush
#11. People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
George Carlin
#12. Holy Goshness! She gasped mentally, quickly averting her eyes.
For Being such a private and antisocial guy in normal everyday life, zonked out Harley sure didn't have a problem with wandering around in the buff.
Amy Cook
#13. I always tried not to be too mean, but my problem is that the people I tend to find hilarious don't usually have senses of humor. So interacting with them is a little bit of an awkward engagement, because I can't really make them laugh, on top of which I've been doing an impression of them.
Ana Gasteyer
#14. Stop it, girl. There's no way he's five-years-old. Or one hundred. He's probably like every other CEO on the planet: Late twenties, handsome in that geeky sort of way, and just as awkward as you. I breathe a sigh of relief, because I know I'm probably right.
Andrew Shaffer
#15. If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism.
Chelsea Handler
#16. Ah," Mark said. "I see. Awkward silence."
"You don't say 'awkward silence'," Alex said. "You just let it happen."
"I said 'awkward silence' to fill the awkward silence. It's meta."
"I don't think it is.
Lisa Henry
#17. I had a fucking standing ovation going on in my goddamn pants, and it was demanding an encore.
Nenia Campbell
#18. I never particularly thought of myself as great with girls. I can be awkward, and I have a strange sense of humor at times. But I've also been learning to try and embrace that.
Matt McGorry
#19. [Samuel Prescott was] returning from a lady friend's house at the awkward hour of 1 a.m.
John M. Murrin
#20. Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy ... well.
John Green
#21. I hate meeting new people even new clients who intend to give me money. I try to be pleasant but I'm not very good at it. The best I can usually pull off is 'professional if somewhat chilly.' It's not ideal no. But it beats 'awkward and bitchy.
Cherie Priest
#22. Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off.
David C. Holley
#23. Because I was a shy and awkward child, I used humour to deflect attention. It was a controlling mechanism. Because I could use it to control my image.
Catherine Tate
Catherine Tate
#24. Sam's body language looked pretty stiff. I was too far away to hear, but I imagined her conversation with Alex was something like:
Sam: Awkward.
Alex: Awkward, awkward.
Sam (nodding): Awkward, awkward, awkward.
Rick Riordan
#25. You know on TV when there's one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?
Well chirp fucking chirp ... this is one of those moments.
Emma Chase
#26. She had fat fingered the sext! It was beyond awkward. Frantically, she typed in an apology, "Ned, meant to send boob photo to someone else. So sorry. Nice ass.
Samantha Bohrman
#27. That was the most awkward Wednesday he ever remembered.
J.R.R. Tolkien
#28. If I was really, really lucky, Felix might throw a fireball at me, and I'd get out of the rest of this freakshow.
Sarah Monette
#30. Don't leave a message," his voicemail said. "If you do, I might call you back. We could end up communicating, and that would be awkward.
K.D. Sarge
#31. I was a precocious only child, and then I went through a fat, awkward stage for several years, so I learned to fall back on my humor and personality when I was growing up. It's how you survive, so I think it was more of a natural progression for me, developing into comedy.
Ari Graynor
#32. Are we witnessing a mating?"
"Mm-hmm."
Brilliant.
This is awkward.
Could be worse.
How so?
They could be having sex.
Fawn Routson
#33. There was an awkward silence
Until I throw a rock at it
Cat Patrick
#34. You're tough when you need to be, and you can charm the pants off men who have three times your experience.
Well, yes. Although I try not to take advantage of that too often. Very awkward negotiating with people who are sitting around in their underwear.
Julie James
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
