Top 100 Asses Quotes
#1. Stepping out of the kitchen, Ben glared at him. "I have no problem kicking your ass."
"I'm sure there are a lot of things you like to do with asses.
Ashlan Thomas
#2. All my compatriots are asses compared to me.
Paul Cezanne
#3. I never took it upon myself to change the world. And those contemporaries of mine who were going around falling for the idea that they were going to bring down the United States government and make a new world were just asses to me.
Walker Evans
#4. The day never goes by for men and nations to make asses of themselves and take to the fists.
L.M. Montgomery
#5. Making people change because you can't deal with who they are isn't how it's supposed to be done. What needs to be done is for people to pull their heads out of their asses. You say 'cure.' I hear 'you're not human enough.
John Scalzi
#6. Everyone, I understand your positions. We have procedures. Skipping those procedures means risk. Risk means trouble for your department. But now isn't the time to cover our asses. We have to take risks or Mark Watney dies.
Andy Weir
#7. Pompous asses knows how to put the moan in sanctimonious.
Andy Hargreaves
#8. Scobe's Tenth Law: In all endeavors, in all aspects of life, there are more horses asses than horses!
Frank Scoblete
#9. What color is the sky in your world Cena. You're talking what Wrestlmania needs to be, but allow me to demenstrate what's going to happen. The Rock laying boots to asses, from the rooder to the pooder. Cenation is going to be Cyalaternation!
Ron Killings
#10. Alex could name each member of every nineties alternative band ever formed. Kale could kick all their asses.
Jus Accardo
#11. So are the stories true?" asked Hunter. "Depends," Becca hedged. "What have you heard?"
"That you knocked two seniors on their asses on the soccer field, then flipped off the coach."
"Absolutely true," said Becca, deadpan.
Brigid Kemmerer
#12. You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.
Ray Romano
#13. May the strings that bind us never break May our wild asses forever shake May our unquenchable fire keep our dreams awake
Kendall Grey
#14. We probaly in hell already, our dumb asses not knowin, everybody kissin ass to go to heaven aint goin.
Tupac Shakur
#15. order to go to a bar, drink their asses off, flirt with strangers,
Melissa Foster
#16. Some in management positions operate as if they are in a tree of monkeys. They make sure that everyone at the top of the tree looking down sees only smiles. But all too often, those at the bottom looking up see only asses.
Simon Sinek
#17. The humans are dead (I'm glad they are dead)
The humans are dead (I noticed, they're dead)
We used poisonous gases (With traces of lead)
And we poisoned their asses (Actually, their lungs)
Binary solo!
0000001, 00000011
000000111, 00001111!
Flight Of The Conchords
#18. People usually wear their smarty pants when they are trying to hide their dumb asses.
Michael A. Wood Jr.
#19. The arrival of a good clown exercises a more beneficial influence upon the health of a town than of twenty asses laden with drugs.
Thomas Sydenham
#20. That's what it's about, how society changes people but people can also change society. It only takes a few people to do things and help themselves instead of sitting around on their asses. She has a very global outlook on life and all sorts of things.
Mary Hansen
#21. I'd be doing it to screw the literary world. Those bastards all huddle in their gloomy cave and kiss each other's asses, and lick each other's wounds, and trip each other up, all the while spewing this pompous crap about the mission of literature.
Haruki Murakami
#22. Defenders get their asses kicked. Trust me. I got crack impressions on every pair of shoes I own.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#23. M is for Marx
And clashing of classes
And movement of masses
And massing of asses.
Cyril Connolly
#24. More Americans own their home than ever before. Nearly 70 percent of American's are homeowners. So it is a good time for us to asses the positive impacts of homeownership on families, communities and on the nation's economy.
Randy Neugebauer
#25. Baboons, I observed. One with a big gun and the other with a big mouth, and both with alpha-sized, flaming pink asses.
A.J. Aalto
#26. Go fuck yourself, Teague," Marshall said. "If you were a real infantryman, you'd have already commanded instead of hiding out on the staff."
"Maybe there are limits to how many hairy asses I'll kiss to make major. Feel free to continue for the both of us, though," Teague said.
Jessica Scott
#27. The intellect of two thousand asses cannot bring forth a single man's thought.
Muhammad Iqbal
#28. I don't know where there can be so many pianists as in Paris, so many asses and so many virtuosi.
Frederic Chopin
#29. Twenty highly trained agents versus one eighteen year old high school drop out and he managed to kick all your asses. Okay, did we get really bad at this over night or is this kid really that good?!
S.L.J. Shortt
#30. I have never seen an ass who talked like a human being, but I have met many human beings who talked like asses.
Heinrich Heine
#32. Damn you, Anaxantis. You and your brother were supposed to sit on your princely asses, organize the occasional banquet, use your high sounding titles to ravish the local girls, or boys, or sheep, whatever takes your fancy for all I care, and leave serious matters to your elders.
Andrew Ashling
#33. She shows up everywhere, at any time, like she can guess
what we're going to do before we do it."
"The lady is good at what she does," Liam confirmed.
"Can you please not compliment the person trying to drag our asses back to camp?
Alexandra Bracken
#34. On that night he made clear to his secret society that the fundamental conflict of his life was founded on precisely that belief: the white establishment would always keep the common black man down in order to cover their own asses.
Jeff Hobbs
#35. Don't you mean 'assclown'?" he looked amused.
"No," I said louder this time. "I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses.
Michelle Hodkin
#36. Hope was like frogs praying for wings so they didn't bump their asses when they hopped. But there weren't any flying fucking frogs!
Sherri Desbois
#37. If I believed in a god, it would be the god of women's asses.
Shay Savage
#38. Most people die, living their life paycheck to paycheck,trying to stretch out each dollar, as like a roll of toilet paper. Toiling each tissue, never quite wiping away all the shit from their asses, where the world always takes what little they flush, back into its deprived system, always hungry.
Anthony Liccione
#39. I really don't know whether any place contains more pianists than Paris, or whether you can find more asses and virtuosos anywhere.
Frederic Chopin
#40. He couldn't concentrate on anything while her incredible bottom led him up those stairs like the Pied Piper of tempting asses.
Nina Bangs
#41. In the history of man, there has been and always will be more horses' asses than horses.
Jeffrey Fry
#42. Becoming acquainted and swallowing fears and settling down to life in the little cabin with its warm glow of woodstove and kerosene lamp and let the ghosts fly their asses off
Jack Kerouac
#43. The secret to happiness is to be working at your passion. If you want to be miserable, lead a desperate life like everybody else where they drag their asses to work everyday because they hate their job.
Yvon Chouinard
#44. What is this world?
A term which men have got,
To signify not one in ten knows what;
A term, which with no more precision passes
To point out herds of men than herds of asses;
In common use no more it means, we find,
Than many fools in same opinions joined.
Charles Churchill
#45. Imma violate yall asses like Chris Stokes.
Nicki Minaj
#47. These local yokels couldn't find their own asses if you tattooed their names on each cheek.
Mark De Castrique
#48. I wandered the sidewalk watching all the street performers doing their juggling acts, playing their musical instruments, busting their asses to avoid work. I liked that. But I wanted to tell them there were easier ways to avoid work, like cab driving.
Gary Reilly
#49. None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
Mark Twain
#50. Drinking in a honky tonk, just kicking hippies asses and raising hell.
Jerry Jeff Walker
#51. The bigger they are, the harder it is to find someone to kick their asses.
Phil Sanderson
#52. What's going on with you? Jared asked out of the blue.
Beginning a new era of journalistic history, Kami told him, sending her cheer through their connection. Also, to be perfectly honest, Angela and I were slapping our asses.
As one does.
Sarah Rees Brennan
#53. How to Anesthetize theM asses [10w]
Build more shopping malls and get rid of the internet.
Beryl Dov
#54. You tell me: 'Life is hard to bear.' But if it were otherwise why should you have your pride in the morning and your resignation in the evening?
Life is hard to bear: but do not pretend to be so tender! We are all of us pretty fine asses and asseses of burden!
Friedrich Nietzsche
#55. Well maybe we need to Cesar Millan their asses and show them who's boss. Tsst, tsst!
Kresley Cole
#56. We probably in hell already, our dumb asses not knowing.
Tupac Shakur
#57. Maybe when we got up on the bridge I'd jump, Last of the Mohicans their asses!
Kresley Cole
#58. You told me earlier that the necklace is your favorite. You'd give up your most treasured gold for the Vrekeners? For this kingdom?" She made a scoffing sound. "Not in a million years. But I'd give it up for you. Because that's what we do - we save each other's asses.
Kresley Cole
#59. Did not Dr. Kunastrokius, that great man, at his leisure hours, take the greatest delight imaginable in combing of asses tails, and plucking the dead hairs out with his teeth, though he had tweezers always in his pocket?
Laurence Sterne
#60. I come in as an actor, having read through the script a few times, made a couple of character-choices, thinking I'm going to be working on it during rehearsals. It's very different. It takes a while we're always like dogs sniffing each other's asses.
Jason Graae
#61. We contradict all for which we stand for we all stand for the lie the whole lie and nothing but the lie so help save our lying asses.
Brian Spellman
#62. Horses (thou say'st) and asses men may try,
And ring suspected vessels ere they buy;
But wives, a random choice, untried they take;
They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake;
Then, nor till then, the veil's removed away,
And all the woman glares in open day.
Alexander Pope
#63. How many asses can I fuck before I pass the threshold of sexual acceptability and destroy my chances for being a contender in the sweepstakes of romance?
Edward Southgate
#64. You boys can keep your virgins
give me hot old women in high heels
with asses that forgot to get old.
Charles Bukowski
#65. There are braying men in the world, as well as braying asses; for what is loud and senseless talking any other than away of braying?
Roger L'Estrange
#66. You can't say asses in church unless you are speaking of donkeys.
Allan Dare Pearce
#67. And trans women and femmes share another important attribute: We are survivors. The rest of the world may assume we are weak and fragile because of our feminine inclinations, but in reality, living with other people's relentless misogynistic bullshit has made us tenacious bad-asses.
Julia Serano
#68. Atlanta is a city full of superficial fake video vixen women walking around with fake asses, fake hair, and breast. Makeup caked on their faces, and string from the tracks hanging in their weave.
Desiree M. Granger
#69. Coach Smith poked his head into the dugout. If you ladies are done with the warm and fuzzies, I'd like you to get your asses on the field with your team.
J. Sterling
#70. Much like a recovering alcoholic marks every single day they've been sober, recovering fat asses can't help but think back to how little they thought about what they ate.
Joe Peacock
#71. We admire people who work hard, who are objective and thorough. We detest office politicians, toadies, bullies, and pompous asses. We abhor ruthlessness. The way up our ladder is open to everybody. In promoting people to top jobs, we are influenced as much by their character as anything else.
David Ogilvy
#72. Oh man," Powell said, laughing in disbelief. "Do they fire lightning out of their asses, too? Do they cum nuclear jelly? What else, huh?
Tim Lebbon
#73. Oppressive bastards, think they own the place. I told them that karma's going to kick their asses ...
Laurie Halse Anderson
#74. I'm not defending what Cory Booker said. I'm saying I understand why he has to kiss the asses of the rich people on Wall Street, because there's no other way to keep his city afloat.
Bill Maher
#75. The world is a bundle of hay, Mankind are the asses that pull, Each tugs in a different way And the greatest of all is John Bull!
Lord Byron
#76. Well, as much as I love kicking asses and taking names, it's way past curfew for you three- Arriane
Lauren Kate
#77. I'm not above using unsavory beings to kick the Gods' asses, but the Phantoms are too unpredictable for my taste, I said.
Laura Kreitzer
#78. I had Lissa's number memorized and I sent her the following note:
I know what you're going to do, and it is a BAD idea. I'm going to kick both your asses when I find you.
Richelle Mead
#79. All right, the alien testosterone right now is a little too much, and I really don't want to have an alien brawl in my house on top of the broken window and the dead body that came through it." I took a breath. "But if you two don't knock it off, I'll kick both of your asses.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#80. He felt a little lost, after that experience. Lost as the girls on their knees. It was a never-ending story of young girls losing themselves, such that they were no longer humans with any souls or characters, but pretty girls with fat asses and nice tits.
Jess C. Scott
#81. The ass to end all asses," I said, unable to stop myself. "The Holy Grail of asses. If we lived in a world with fairies and elves, there would be epic quests to go get that ass. I wanted to bite it.
T.J. Klune
#82. No," I said, louder this time. "I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses," I said, as though reading from a dictionary of modern profanity.
Michelle Hodkin
#83. Jesus, that's close. Like a dinner bell, right? Henry opens his pants and our asses pucker up for a kiss.
M.Q. Barber
#84. If tomorrow, ninety percent of the world's population started scooting around on its collective asses while wearing dead raccoons as hats, people who walked on two feet and were visibly raccoonless would be called "weird.
Johnny B. Truant
#85. Dr. Upward was one of those Academy Award-winning Asses of Arrogance you find in educational administration, law or medicine.
David Mitchell
#86. See, some guys prefer asses
Some prefer tits
And I'm not saying that I don't like those bits
But what's more important
What supersedes
Is a girl a with passion, wit and dreams
So I want a girl who reads.
Mark Grist
#88. After all we'd been through, we still couldn't take our heads from out of our asses or our hands from around each other's throats.
Max Brooks
#90. Now, my brothers are bustin' their asses to cover our shit, and you race to the bathroom like you're fifteen, we're in your bedroom, I just popped your cherry, and your Dad's at the door. Babe, I get you got issues but on top of all our other shit, we gotta spend some time sortin' those out.
Kristen Ashley
#91. Men. Sometimes you could kiss them forever and other times you could just take your glittery, red stilettos and jam them as far up their asses as they'd reach.
Nina Levine
#92. How can you become the leader of Romany if you're a prince of Oxenburg?"
"I have three brother. And as Tata Natasha is fond of telling us, there is not room on the throne for four asses.
Karen Hawkins
#93. The Backstreet Boys can sing their asses off. I'm not so sure about those other boy bands. But Backstreet Boys have my ultimate respect.
Elton John
#94. I dismiss the pachyderms and the asses in favor of my axons and dendrites.
Laren Grey Umphlett
#95. The man's tongue is fit to frighten the French. Another fever."
Ah, there," said Morgan, "that comed of sp'iling Bibles."
That comed
as you call it
of being arrant asses.
Robert Louis Stevenson
#96. Y'all should come to Cowboys Stadium and watch us beat the Giants' asses.
Jerry Jones
#97. An Italian proverb says: The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.
Ambrose Bierce
#98. If you're surrounded by idiots, you're the unpopular one and the odd one out because idiots don't like smart asses.
Ricky Gervais
#99. We nearly had our asses handed to us in a sling by a bunny rabbit?
A.J. Culpepper
#100. I'll just come right out and say it, rich people have no imagination. They can't even scratch their own asses without a ruler and a flashlight.
Haruki Murakami
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