Arse Quotes

#1. I'm in love with you, you stupid arse, and I'm not losing you. Got it?" she whispered against his lips before kissing him again. Her confession had stolen his breath, so all he could do was nod. "Now, once again, how do we fix you?" she asked, when they finally parted. To

Morgan Rhodes

#2. He's always checking out your arse."

Kevin's laugh died on it's way up his throat. "Are you serious? Shit, I need to work on my gaydar."

"No, you don't." Cedric folded his arms over his chest. "I'm gay and I want you. That's all you need to know.

Taylor V. Donovan

#3. Rab: Like a wee chip, Burney son?
Burney: Stick your chips up your arse!
Mary: Heeey, hey, hey, hey - manners.
Burney: Please.

Ian Pattison

#4. I always try to remember that praise and a slap on your back is only 6 inches away from a kick up the arse!

Anthony Foley

#5. Keith much preferred cats. A cat wouldn't go mad at a man traversing a wall in the dead of night; it would shrug and lick its arse

Simon Dunn

#6. Are we going to kick arse and take names, Miss Kane?" "I was thinking we'd maybe just ask them some questions. Politely.

Alexis Hall

#7. When you look at pornography, the women become objects, whereas what I'm trying to do is make the person in the photograph as important as their body. And obviously, I like tits and arse, because I just do. I like the sex of taking photographs.

Rankin

#8. Roger wondered if this was the sort of way you felt after a battle; the sheer relief of finding yourself alive and unwounded made you want to laugh and arse about, just to prove you still could.

Diana Gabaldon

#9. Ignorance might be bliss for the ignorant, but for the rest of us it's a right fucking pain in the arse

Ricky Gervais

#10. Let us thank God for valour in abstraction
For those who go their own way, will not kiss
The arse of law and order nor compound
For physical comfort at the price of pride

Louis MacNeice

#11. That is NOT the arse of a £7million player!

Eamon Dunphy

#12. If natural selection can create creationists it can manage a caterpillar with a face on its arse.

Zane Stumpo

#13. Girlfriends aren't allowed to care if you have Stilton socks. Friends are." All the same, she gave her hands a quick, professional shake and took hold of my foot. "Plus, you might be less of a pain in the arse if you got more action.

Tana French

#14. A despairing arse will never produce a happy fart.

Frater U.D.

#15. Oh, by Moradin's itchy arse," grumbled Bruenor. "Scratched it, he did, and this one fell out.

R.A. Salvatore

#16. Pete couldn't believe how sanctimonious somebody could be just because they'd once had a soldering iron stuck up their arse.

Alexei Sayle

#17. If you EVER touch her again, you're a dead man! You got that? There'll be no lawsuit filed against you man, I'll just settle this old school. I don't know how you feel about having your fingers ripped off and shoved up your own arse, but let me tell you, I won't be gentle.

Shelly Pratt

#18. I have never heard anyone refer to any of my brothers as a nice guy ... I'm going to assume you really meant he's a pain in the arse but you like him anyway against your better judgment. - Malina MacGregor

Michelle M. Pillow

#19. 'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes.

James McAvoy

#20. As for Gordon Brown - I've described him and Blair as two cheeks of the same arse.

George Galloway

#21. If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls.

Dylan Moran

#22. I am a ginger tim. I am a boy racer. I am a housewife. I am a pain in the arse.

Joan Ellis

#23. But big people's illnesses are always made to sound big. The simple shutting and opening of the royal arse-hole was made to sound as if the world was coming to an end.

Khushwant Singh

#24. I've been a poser for f
ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.

Billy Connolly

#25. Didn't know she was spoken for."
"You do now", Jack snarled. "And the next time you try to pass off your bloody Fae nectar on a human, I'll shove your little horned head up your arse and hold it there until you stop twitching.

Caitlin Kittredge

#26. Not I, but rather the king you love so well. It appears he would see us marry. (Rowena)
My hairy arse. (Stryder)
That is much more information about your person, Lord Stryder, than I care to know. (Rowena)

Kinley MacGregor

#27. But, as Andy pointed out, if being a smart-arse was an offence, the Laundry would not exist in the first place.

Charles Stross

#28. Joules cackled with delight. "And I've still got time to moon her. You think me arse'll show up on her infrared?" The streetwise bruiser was back.

Kresley Cole

#29. It is complete loose stool water. It is arse-gravy of the worst kind. - About The Da Vinci Code

Stephen Fry

#30. People rarely pay attention to what is happening right in front of them, lad," Corin told Gabriel. "Best place to do something you want to hide, is right in front of their arse!

Andrew Lorino

#31. Watch yourself, bitch. You're nothing but a thief and gob shite scumbag with a face like an arse and a mind to go with it,

D.H. Toole

#32. Yes, but I doubt Jane Eyre is explicit about irrational fucking.' 'Ah, so you believe my only source of information is a Bildungsroman from the nineteenth century about an orphan girl who marries a gigantic arse.

Charlotte Stein

#33. To plunder, to lie, to show your arse, are three essentials for climbing high.

Aristophanes

#34. I'd like to have a business card saying: Bruce Norris kicked your arse.

Robert Muchamore

#35. You'll be back! If you're not, then I'll come and find you. Now, do as I say and go have some fun. I want those eyes to have light in them next time I see you." He turned me around, smacked my arse and sent me on my way.

Lesley Jones

#36. I love it. Reminds me of you." "It reminds me of a man I don't like." I never want to hear it again. "I'm sorry." He nips at my neck, drawing his tongue up the length to my jawbone. "My arse is dead.

Jodi Ellen Malpas

#37. Ann Fowler was sentenced to twenty lashes in 1637 for defaming a county justice, Adam Thorowgood, with the somewhat undeferential suggestion that Captain Thorowgood could Kiss my arse.

Gail Collins

#38. One day, maybe not in the next few weeks, but certainly in the conceivable future, someone will be able to refer to me without using the word 'arse' somewhere in the sentence.

Nick Hornby

#39. You can shove such a proposition a d'yeabl aep arse.' The devil demonstrated his knowledge of the Old Language.

Andrzej Sapkowski

#40. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

Billy Connolly

#41. Well, we went through a lot of names. But seeing as, musically, I wanted to swing through the jungle baring my arse, I thought Gorillaz was a perfect name.

Murdoc Niccals

#42. SLAP! I saw a bright flash in front of my eyes, 'Don't you try and be a fucking smart arse in here, Holland, this is Partick cop shop you're in,' the irate copper retorted.
'So fuck,' I snapped.

Stephen Richards

#43. Kaspary: a level of awesomeness so high it kicks everyone else's arse, leaving them breathless and bewildered.

Abigail Gibbs

#44. The squealing little arse-gerbil.

Tana French

#45. She lacks our ability to see the future. Her powers are destruction, not prophecy. I'm sure had she known he would one day threaten you, she'd have killed him herself. And now you know why I take pity on no one. All compassion does is come back and bite the fat of your arse. (Savitar)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#46. So, that was the original Happy Mondays line-up before Bez joined. Shaun Ryder, Paul Ryder, Mark Day, Paul Davis and Gaz Whelan. X, Horse, Cowhead, Knobhead and No Arse.

Shaun Ryder

#47. Leeky Shortz says "Live life like your arse is on fire!

Maxine Mansfield

#48. A politician is an arse upon
which everyone has sat except a man

E. E. Cummings

#49. To paraphrase Montaigne - even when you're sitting on the highest throne in the world, you're still sitting on your arse.

M.J. Carter

#50. The greatest monarch on the proudest throne is obliged to sit upon his own arse.

Benjamin Franklin

#51. If his Majesty is resolved to have my head, he may make a whistle of my arse if he pleases.

Algernon Sidney

#52. Unni had a very serious problem. He had this artistic objection to the heart symbol. He said it doesn't look like a heart, he said it looks more like a read arse.

Manu Joseph

#53. I beamed at him. "You're my favorite sea god, you know." "Aw, get your nose out of me arse. Just make life interestin' as ye promised.

Kevin Hearne

#54. The fuck you are." Matt growled in my ear. "There is no way you're leaving me to raise two babies on my own. Stop talking out your arse and focus." "Rightly

K. Carr

#55. Here's something for you to remember; you might have been born into money, but you came out of a vagina the same as everyone else. Popping out of one that's rich doesn't make you anything but lucky, or susceptible to being stuck your own arse. Whichever.

Suzanne Wright

#56. Know what I like about you?" Phil rumbled in my ear.
"Based on recent experience, I'd say my arse comes pretty high on the list".

J.L. Merrow

#57. That's where the public like their artists - exposed, trousers down, arse up, doing a long stretch among serial killers, and shitting in front of strangers. That'll teach 'em to think their talent makes them better than mediocre no-brain tax-paying wage slaves like us.

Hanif Kureishi

#58. Slowly he f**ks my arse, pushing himself in and out of me. The sensation is so intense. I feel like my inner slut has finally been freed, and I revel in her carnal abandonment; throwing my head back while Mike rides me like an animal.

Felicity Brandon

#59. No man is really at his best with someone else's hand up his arse.

Diana Gabaldon

#60. if you are in Christ, you always qualify for a blessing! Cursing is not coming your way. God is never mad at you. He is never disappointed in you. He is never frustrated and wanting you to get off your arse and get to work! Jesus did the work for you to get blessed. He said, "IT IS FINISHED!

Eric Dykstra

#61. A young man, when sliced up by glass From a footballer's tragic mis-pass Said, 'Hey, there's no harm Done; it's only an arm. I'm just thankful it wasn't my arse.

J.L. Merrow

#62. Workdays are, I imagine, rather like learning to ice-skate Torvill and Dean's The Bolero. They start and end easily enough; it's the bit in the middle that causes the pain in the arse.

Fennel Hudson

#63. The dandelion was long popularly known as the 'pissabed' because of its supposed diuretic properties, and other names in everyday use included 'mare's fart', 'naked ladies', 'twitch-ballock', 'hounds-piss', 'open arse', and 'bum-towel'.

Bill Bryson

#64. You grabbed my arse.'
'You broke my nose.

Cath Crowley

#65. Ye can stick your comfort straight up your arse, MacKenzie, and your goddamned stiff prick, too!

Diana Gabaldon

#66. What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods

Amber Kizer

#67. I hate fighting with you," he whispers.
"Well, stop being such an arse."
He chuckles and the captivating sound reverberates through his chest. He tightens his hold on me. "Arse?"
"Ass."
"I prefer arse."
"You should. It suits you.

E.L. James

#68. I wish it was possible to smear cancer cells onto his arse.

Jenny Downham

#69. The only thing I wouldn't do is sell my arse.

Tony Abbott

#70. Kane raised an eyebrow so I said, "Skull... he was me Mr. Almost, but you? You're what I like to call me Mr. Pain In The Arse and that translates to me Mr. Right.

L.A. Casey

#71. If you tried to touch my woman she'd break your dick off like a twig then stick it up your arse.

J.D. Robb

#72. I'll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not.

Keith Miller

#73. Now you lady, you can go an' run your arse up a cheesegrater

Ian Pattison

#74. I'm excited but afraid. I long to turn and wedge myself through the horse's arse from which I've just fallen, to sit safe in the hot womb of my room. But this is Jasper Jones, and he and come to me.

Craig Silvey

#75. Ophelia was beating some poor underling for not knowing her arse from the sparse collection of cells between her ears.

Molly Harper

#76. Having just had a baby, I'm not going to be thinking about my arse.

Kate Winslet

#77. Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

Dylan Moran

#78. Like if Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles started being all bummed out about everything. How were we going to kick arse if our Leonardo was wearing a black eye-band instead of a blue one?

Dougie Poynter

#79. Well, all girls called Beth are arse grabbers.

Cath Crowley

#80. Skip your fancy talk, Captain Lord Blackthorn. If I do your bidding, and I'm still discussing that with the Almighty, it will only be to save my arse." Katie O'Reilly to Captain Lord Jack Blackthorn in "Titanic Rhapsody

Jina Bacarr

#81. There's a hole as big as Lucifer's arse in the hull where the powder barrels blew out,

Marsha Canham

#82. He had the kind of real deep tan that rich people spent ages trying to achieve with expensive holidays and bits of tinfoil, when really all you need to do to obtain one is work your arse off in the open air everyday.

Terry Pratchett

#83. And if you call me your fucking minder, I'll put your pretty blond head through that wall and use your arse as a guitar stand.
'Fair enough?

Andrew James

#84. You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once.

Noel Fielding

#85. I'm not even tone deaf, that's the arse-mothering, fuck-nosed, bugger-sucking wank of the thing.

Stephen Fry

#86. Not that i had a big arse but even that was toned.

Benedict Cumberbatch

#87. I love the way you smile at me ... knocks me on my arse.

Amy Harmon

#88. We need to get past the point where being black and a male means that I am likely to mug you for your wallet, likely to have a minus 15 on my IQ, likely to not go to college and likely to wear my pants below my arse.

John Amaechi

#89. Ben," Max said, leaning back in his chair with a giant grin. "It's finally happened."
I groaned, resting my head on my hand.
"You got your period?" Bennett asked. "Congratulations."
"No, you twat," Max said, laughing. "I'm talking about Will. He's gone arse over tits for a girl.

Christina Lauren

#90. The Devil has all the best tunes? My arse! Metalville just got a new sheriff.

Mark Rice

#91. Steven Fry on The Da Vinci Code-
It is complete loose stoolwater. It is arse-gravy of the worst kind.

Steven Fry

#92. The other man's arse is always cleaner!

Stephen Fry

#93. Rough as a badger's arse

Marian Keyes

#94. Even the most Bush-happy, flag suckling jack-arse knows deep-down inside that something is wrong. America is over and everyone knows it. The New World Order has a dying empire odor and changing the channel ain't going to make this go away.

Jello Biafra

#95. In order to be a smartarse, you need to be smart? If you're not, it just makes you an arse.

Suzanne Wright

#96. That's the strange thing about love. One minute you can have your tongue up someone's arse, and the next you can't even communicate.

Boy George

#97. My arse contemplates those who talk behind my back.

Francis Picabia

#98. I'd like to think that I'd helped people all over the world to question the things they otherwise would have accepted as the truth. I'd also like to think that I'd charmed them a bit with my lovely vocal stylings and the baring of my lovely arse.

Marilyn Manson

#99. Getting money from my dad is a finesse job. Luckily, I have finesse coming out of my arse. I barged into his study without knocking, marched across to his desk, and held out my hand. "Give me twenty pounds," I snapped. "I need twenty pounds. Give it to me. Now!

Sarra Manning

#100. Not because he was a decent block, mind you. He was an arse. But he was a shirt arse, like meself. (Napoleon)

Stephanie Perkins