Airline Quotes

#1. The thing about commuting internationally is that you have to be a lawyer or an airline steward to do it successfully.

Joan Juliet Buck

#2. These days no one can make money on the goddamn airline business. The economics represent sheer hell.

C. R. Smith

#3. There has to be so many other ways of approaching airline security than demeaning ourselves by giving up a lot of our dignities and our liberty to do this.

Quico Canseco

#4. The economic tsunami has hit all airline employees. With the 2001 terror attacks, airline bankruptcies, pension terminations, loss of pay, changes in work rules - we're all working harder and longer than we used to.

Chesley Sullenberger

#5. The airline business is it is mostly run by a bunch of spineless nincompoops who actually don't want to stand up to the environmentalists and call them the lying wankers that they are.

Michael O'Leary

#6. I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.

Les Dawson

#7. Airline food is cooked in an oven and then kept warm. Space station food is often cooked in an oven and then thermo-stabilised, irradiated or dehydrated and then stored for a year or two before you even get to it.

Chris Hadfield

#8. I wanted to distance myself from those pasty faced corpses in suits I saw in airline magazine ads. If I was going to become a businessman, I was going to do it on my own terms.

Yvon Chouinard

#9. There has always been a certain romanticism associated with the airline business. We must avoid its perpetuation at Eastern at all costs.

Frank Borman

#10. A question: when is a bed not a bed? When it is angled lie-flat. My back hurts, my legs ache and my clothes are all rumpled - and all because the airline, which claimed to have a bed, actually offered up a torture machine which I prefer to call a slide.

Richard Quest

#11. The airline industry is full of bullshitters, liars and drunks. We excel at all three in Ireland.

Michael O'Leary

#12. Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour."

Dave Barry

#13. Geraldo has returned to the states. See? I told you airline security was a joke.

Jay Leno

#14. The guest gets at least as much service with us as with some established airline, if not even more. And at by far a favourable price. Thus the passengers remain gladly with us.

Niki Lauda

#15. When a major airline goes on a route that a new entrant has gone into, reduces fares, increases capacity, and then when the new entrant goes off, they leave the route, that's not competition.

John McCain

#16. Witches are good at dealing with it, and to suddenly find a blank where these tendrils of the future should be has much the same effect on a witch as emerging from a cloud bank and seeing a team of sherpas looking down on him does on an airline pilot.

Terry Pratchett

#17. Air Canada. That's a good name for a Canadian airline.

Johnny Carson

#18. In most instances, at all costs, do NOT check a bag. Especially during the holiday season. You have more flexibility to switch flights, switch airlines or even leave the airport and get a rental car to drive to your next destination. If the airline has your bag, they also have you.

Beth Mowins

#19. Not having an administrator sends the wrong message to the airline industry.

Maria Cantwell

#20. Afghanistan does have an air force: It has two C-130s. I saw one of them. It was nice, a gift from the United States. But two planes don't even make a Caribbean charter airline, let alone an air force for a country at war.

Richard Engel

#21. At five of five, I called the airline number - 800-FUCK-YOU - and was told I had to speak directly to lost luggage at the Sacramento Airport. No one answered in Sacramento, though my call was important to them.

Karen Joy Fowler

#22. Sure smokers have made personal choices. And they pay for those choices every day, whether sitting through an airline flight dyingfor a smoke, or dying for a smoke in the oncology wing of a hospital. The tobacco companies have not paid nearly enough for the killing.

Anna Quindlen

#23. The Czech ease has become my saving grace for traveling! Plus,with its light weight and small size, I save thousands of dollars every year in airline fees.

Esperanza Spalding

#24. There aren't many people around with the stomach or the knowledge to delve into the airline industry.

James Coulter

#25. He won't fly on the Balinese airline, Garuda, because he won't fly on any airline where the pilots believe in reincarnation.

Spalding Gray

#26. When I was younger I wanted to be an airline pilot, but that lasted for about 30 seconds.

John Barrowman

#27. During my training to become an airline captain, I had to learn how to navigate an airplane over long distances. Flights over huge oceans, crossing extensive deserts, and connecting continents need careful planning to ensure a safe arrival at the planned destination.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

#28. nothing more than his favorite image of himself. The mirror in my room in the Windsor Hotel in Paris reflected my favorite image of me - a darkly handsome young airline pilot, smooth-skinned, bull-shouldered and immaculately groomed. Modesty is not one of my virtues.

Frank W. Abagnale

#29. But we agree with the NTSB that if we eliminated the thrust- reverser calculation, it would be an extra margin of safety. Airport capacity and airline efficiency are important, but safety is the most important thing.

Laura Brown

#30. There is something about the airline industry that really grabbed me.

Maurice Flanagan

#31. As the head of security for an airline, I can't ask my passengers to risk their lives and jump on a terrorist. This is why we need air marshals on every flight.

Isaac Yeffet

#32. Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.

Jay Leno

#33. If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?

Jerry Seinfeld

#34. children not allocated their own seat do not appear in listed victim numbers in airline crash statistics.

Glenn Meade

#35. In the '80's my gut feeling was that airlines were crap. I hated spending time on planes. I thought we could create the kind of airline I'd like. So we got a secondhand 747 and gave it a go.

Richard Branson

#36. Americans have an abiding belief in their ability to control reality by purely material means ... airline insurance replaces the fear of death with the comforting prospect of cash.

Cecil Beaton

#37. We need to confront honestly the issue of scale ... You may need a large corporation to run an airline or to manufacture cars, but you don't need a large corporation to raise a chicken or a hog. You don't need a large corporation to process local food or local timber and market it locally.

Wendell Berry

#38. The airline business is crazy. I've not been enamored with the industry in general. You can't depend on anybody and anything. It's dog-eat-dog and one thing or another from one minute to the next. What I understand about it, I don't like what I see.

Robert Brooks

#39. Today, we ask not what we can do for our country but what our country, employer, fast-food purveyor, or favorite airline can do for us.

Moises Naim

#40. I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.

Steven Wright

#41. You can't have a mid-life crisis in the airline industry because every day is a crisis.

Herb Kelleher

#42. In 1975 I decided that there was no future in flying (airline jobs were impossible to get, and who wants a job where you are judged only by seniority?) and headed off to grad school.

W. Richard Stevens

#43. This airline is grateful for his extensive contributions and we will miss his friendship and support. We extend our deepest sympathies to the Casey family on its personal loss.

Gerard Arpey

#44. There is no tougher job in corporate America than running an airline: Despite the huge amounts of equity capital that have been injected into it, the industry, in aggregate, has posted a net loss since its birth after Kitty Hawk. Airline managers need brains, guts, and experience - and

Warren Buffett

#45. Check bags are fun. I just make sure there won't be anything illegal in my check bag which is forbidden at a cabin of a plane. Just leaving things like scissors and such out of my carry-on things in order to avoid troubles with some certain airline, y'know.

Kerry King

#46. Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.

Dave Barry

#47. Any serious airline has to look at a worldwide network.

Vijay Mallya

#48. I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.

Dave Barry

#49. If nobody is happy, then it's an equitable merger. - Maxim of airline seniority list arbitration

Robert Gandt

#50. The alliance with air Berlin is attractive for me. I can use the whole sales network of the air Berlin and 24 percent of my own airline at air Berlin sold.

Niki Lauda

#51. Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Jerry Seinfeld

#52. Google makes so much money that it's now worth three times more than every U.S. airline combined.

Peter Thiel

#53. The poop became a poop mountain; the pee became a pee ocean. And then somehow a Poop and Pee Airline was invented to fly travelers to Poop Mountain and Pee Ocean, although the code name for the airline was Dolphin Airlines, to keep the unsuspecting from being tipped off.

Lauren Myracle

#54. [Airline food] is the tiniest food I've ever seen in my entire life. Any kind of meat that you get - chicken, steak, anything - has grill marks on each side, like somehow we'll actually believe there's an open-flame grill in the front of the plane.

Ellen DeGeneres

#55. It's the old adage: You can make a pizza so cheap, nobody will eat it. You can make an airline so cheap, nobody will fly it.

Gordon Bethune

#56. I don't enjoy traveling in America. I don't like the food, the cars. It is not exotic enough. It all tastes a bit like airline food.

Carla Bley

#57. Whether they are at an airline or at a command center, experts will err on the side of excluding the public, as we have seen. If they can avoid enrolling regular people in their emergency plans, they will. Life is easier that way, until something goes wrong.

Amanda Ripley

#58. Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline.

Harvey MacKay

#59. With any luck, by the time NASA's space probe hits Pluto, you'll be booking a spaceflight with a privately run suborbital airline.

Burt Rutan

#60. I have to say that flying on Air Force One sort of spoils you for coach on a regular airline.

Ron Reagan

#61. I just heard George W. Bush's new plan for airline security. From here on out, every plane will now have its own hockey dad.

David Letterman

#62. It's not a testosterone-driven industry any longer. Success is making money, not in the size of the airline.

Gordon Bethune

#63. When you have armed militants, aided and abetted by a major country like Russia, able to use surface-to-air missiles to bring down a commercial airline, that is a form of terrorism.

Hillary Clinton

#64. The greatest threat now is a 9/11 occurring with a group of terrorists armed not with airline tickets and box cutters, but with a nuclear weapon in the middle of one of our own cities ... there's a high probability of such an attempt.

Dick Cheney

#65. I technically have two last names, which is a lot of fun when you're making airline reservations.

Mackenzie Astin

#66. Many of the critics today get airline tickets, hotel accommodation, bags, beautiful photographs, gifts and other expenses paid by the distributors, and then are supposed to write serious articles about the movie.

Wim Wenders

#67. The airline business is fast-paced, high risk, and highly leveraged. It puts a premium on things I like to do. I think I communicate well. And I am very good at detail. I love detail.

Robert Crandall

#68. Running an airline is a normal job. Racing is more.

Niki Lauda

#69. Two of the biggest drivers of airline profit are change fees and baggage fees.

Paul Hudson

#70. I have flown ValuJet, ValuJet is a safe airline, as is our entire aviation system.

Federico Pena

#71. Anybody with my background in the airline business who is not deaf is a fraud.

Maurice Flanagan

#72. Travellers understand, instinctively and by experience, that travel and adventure change and elongate time, even while navigating the deadlines of airline and train departures.

Paul Sheehan

#73. It is a challenge to believe that there was ever a time that airline food was exciting, when stewardesses were happy to see you, when flying was such an occasion that you wore your finest clothes. I

Bill Bryson

#74. For us to ignore by inaction the slaughter of American civilians and American soldiers, whether in nightclubs or airline terminals, is simply not in the American tradition. Self-defense is not only our right, it is our duty.

Ronald Reagan

#75. When I started my airline business, I didn't know everything, right? If I start up a newspaper tomorrow, I might get ripped off by journalists. You'd be naive to think you know everything from day one.

Tony Fernandes

#76. But life is not like that. You are not an airline. You can't remove a single olive from every salad served in first class and save one point two million dollars.

Lynn Messina

#77. I've never invested in any airline. I'm an airline manager. I don't invest in airlines. And I always said to the employees of American, 'This is not an appropriate investment. It's a great place to work and it's a great company that does important work. But airlines are not an investment.'

Robert Crandall

#78. Imagine, the task force guy says, telling a passenger on arrival that a dildo kept her baggage on the East Coast. Sometimes it's even a man. It's airline policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. Use the indefinite article. A dildo. Never your dildo.

Chuck Palahniuk

#79. I have one brother, John, an airline pilot, who is seven years younger. He's adopted, though we're still blood related - he's my cousin. My parents couldn't have any more children after me, so when Dad's brother died, they adopted John, then just a baby.

Gary Numan

#80. Since 1978 the record pretty well shows that no start-up airline ... has really been successful, so the odds of JetBlue having long-term success are remote. I'm not going to say it can't happen because stranger things have happened, but I personally believe P.T. Barnum was, in that respect, correct.

Gordon Bethune

#81. Republicans also took control of the Senate after gaining another seven seats. I haven't seen the GOP get this many seats since Chris Christie made an airline reservation.

Jimmy Fallon

#82. A lot of faith is placed upon the airline itself. The FAA has never and will never have enough resources to completely monitor the airlines.

Wayne Williams

#83. I decided there must be room for another airline when I spent two days trying to get through to People Express.

Richard Branson

#84. I don't how anybody taller than 6-4 can sit in those seats. And the airline executives don't give a damn 'cause they never walk back there in the first place. I don't fly first class because I have a lot of money. I do it because I need the room.

Charles Barkley

#85. You don't build wealth with credit card rewards and airline miles. You can't beat the credit card companies at their own game.

Dave Ramsey

#86. My father was an airline pilot, so we travelled more spontaneously than a lot of families. On a Thursday, we could decide to go somewhere like Barbados the next day for a long weekend.

Chris Hadfield

#87. I've said many times that I'd be thrilled to sell the airline to the employees and our guys said no, we'll take all the money, anyway.

Robert Crandall

#88. I came from the music business, which reputedly has the biggest egos, but I really think the airline world caps it.

Tony Fernandes

#89. I've spent my life as an airplane mechanic, pilot, aircraft manufacturer and airline CEO who never lost a life or an airplane. I am considerate of the risk we take every time we fly. I also know we need to fly and always to improve safety.

Gordon Bethune

#90. I have an 800 [freephone] number now that I call if I get the urge to buy an airline stock. I call at two in the morning and I say: "My name is Warren and I'm an aeroholic." And then they talk me down.

Warren Buffett

#91. Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as "mineral" and "linoleum."

Dave Barry

#92. Juan Tripp was a friend. Good name for an airline man, huh? Juan Tripp after another?

Fay Wray

#93. Once you get hooked on the airline business, it's worse than dope.

Ed Acker

#94. If you pay your credit card off every month, get a rewards card. One that gives you airline miles or that will give you 1 percent cash back at least on every purchase.

Aaron Patzer

#95. So I've seen life as one long learning process. And if I see - you know, if I fly on somebody else's airline and find the experience is not a pleasant one, which it wasn't in - 21 years ago, then I'd think, well, you know, maybe I can create the kind of airline that I'd like to fly on.

Richard Branson

#96. We've got fuel prices coming down and good travel numbers coming out, so it's not surprising airline stocks are going up.

Andrew Sullivan

#97. Every time someone dies as a result of floods in Bangladesh, an airline executive should be dragged out of his office and drowned.

George Monbiot

#98. In a sense, when we started Virgin Atlantic, I was trying to create an airline for myself. If you try to build the perfect airline for yourself, it will be appreciated by others.

Richard Branson

#99. And [we hope to sell] the clean fuels to other airlines. I mean, the exciting thing about the breakthrough with clean fuels for the airline industry is there's only 1,700 pumps in the world that fill up the airlines.

Richard Branson

#100. Airline fees are ridiculous. I heard they're going to start charging for cabin pressure.

Em Elless