Top 100 Zach Quotes
#1. Oh my God. For most of eternity, I won't exist. That leaves two options: live forever or destroy the universe. Hm... I may have to quit my day job for this.
Zach Weinersmith
#2. If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect me.
Zach Braff
#3. Corey had the most perfect dick Zach had ever seen, thick and smooth and long. He sucked it into his mouth deep, rewarded with a sharp inhale from above. "Okay,
Darien Cox
#4. I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?
Zach Braff
#5. It's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.
Zach Braff
#6. For me, acting in scenes with other people is like playing soccer with a bunch of legless five year olds. It's not really fair to them, but what else can I do, you know?
Zach Braff
#7. Courage is knowing that you're beaten and forging ahead anyway.
Zach Wahls
#8. With trembling hands, Zach opened the front cover and flipped to the dedication page. To Zachary Easton, my editor. Fuck you.
Tiffany Reisz
#9. I think a generation ago, dads went to work, they came home, and they had their dinner, had a drink, and then went to bed. I don't know what it was like in your house, but that is how it was in mine. I think it is cool to have the dads in the trenches and doing the real parenting work.
Zach Cregger
#10. When a city is unstimulating, you get pretty isolated.
Zach Condon
#11. Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that ... that's something.
Zach Braff
#12. Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.
Zach Braff
#13. They say that guys who like chick flicks tend to do a little better with the ladies. Well, I INVENTED the chick flick, so you can pretty much guess where that leaves me.
Zach Braff
#14. Over this August district work period, like many of my colleagues, I spent a lot of time with the men and women in uniform from my home State. The 196th Field Artillery Brigade just got back from a year in Afghanistan.
Zach Wamp
#15. Every single person wants to do it, don't hate me because I had the guts to follow my heart!
Zach Braff
#16. I want to be just fast enough for Zach to have to run to catch up, because if I stay ahead, I won't ever have to see his retreating back.
Laurie Elizabeth Flynn
#17. You fight yourself, Zach. And you keep fighting yourself. And it's killing you because you're fighting the best part of yourself.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
#18. Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
Zach Braff
#19. I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog
Zach Braff
#20. If you put me in the fairway at my average distance into a par 4, 175 to 180 yards, and you put another player in the rough 120 yards from the green, over time, I'm going to wear him out.
Zach Johnson
#21. What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Zach Braff
#22. Zach had been on the receiving end of a few of Lanning's ass-chewings back in the day. They were epic sagas of righteous fury and perfectly applied touches of profanity. It was like being verbally disemboweled.
Christopher Farnsworth
#23. I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer ... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?
Zach Braff
#24. Zach Galifianakis is a comic force of nature! He is terrific. He digs down here and delivers a beautifully nuanced performance that gets under your skin. Just like the movie.
Peter Travers
#25. I have a complicated relationship with the horror genre. I love it; I loved it as a kid growing up, and I watched Chiller Theater in New York. So I loved it, but then you do feel if you do it too much, you're stuck there.
Zach Galligan
#26. You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.
Zach Galifianakis
#27. I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
Zach Galifianakis
#28. Due to Multi-Tenancy our gross margin by over 70%.
Zach Nelson
#30. YOU CAN ONLY BEHEAD PEOPLE WHO DESERVE IT, IF THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION
Zach Weinersmith
#31. A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.
Zach Braff
#33. I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
Zach Braff
#34. Every year, I just want to do better than I did the year before.
Zach Parise
#35. People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I guess it makes sense, though. It gives people a chance to hope that they can become as great as me someday.
Zach Braff
#36. Zach," I said as I lay there "Where did you go? When you were looking for me?"
I shifted in his arms, looked into his eyes.
"Crazy." His voice was a whisper against my skin. "I went crazy.
Ally Carter
#37. Zach stole my stuff!" "No, I didn't!" "It was here before I went to the bathroom and now it's gone!" Andy reached over and cuffed the boy. "That will be quite enough," Mrs. Crabtree intervened. "Andy, go to the principal's office. Now.
L.R.W. Lee
#38. I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it.
Zach Braff
#39. I'm a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don't know the difference and, let's face it, they aren't going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.
Zach Braff
#40. I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
Zach Braff
#41. Cammie: I never knew there were this many stars.
Zach: I can't see them. I just see you.
Ally Carter
#43. At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.
Zach Braff
#44. I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.
Zach Braff
#45. We can not underestimate the potential harm North Korea's capabilities can cause for the rest of the world.
Zach Wamp
#46. I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.
Zach Braff
#47. Yeah i thought about making the character of JD gay ... But then i thought, but what about all the poor girls dreams you'll be crushing
Zach Braff
#48. I saw Tom Cruise at every audition I went up for, and he was a friendly go-getter back then. You gotta remember, in New York I would go up for something, I would sit, and in the room would be Matthew Modine, Matthew Broderick, Andrew McCarthy, Tom Cruise, and Kevin Bacon.
Zach Galligan
#49. Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that
Zach Braff
#50. I only have one life so I better waste it wisely.
Cheryl Zach
#51. Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.
Zach Braff
#52. I have no superstitions. I don't have to have a Sunday outfit. I don't have socks or underwear I have to wear.
Zach Johnson
#53. Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'
Zach Braff
#54. It's kind of ironic that my character is a doctor who acts very gay with his best friend. I don't see how gays could ever be doctors, they spend too much time whining about everything. Just get off your soapbox and go back to designing floral arrangements
Zach Braff
#55. Once I can verify my account, I will have a Twitter.
Zach Woodlee
#56. Tell me Zach." I don't know if it was the wind or the adrenaline, but I shivered. "And don't lie to me.
Ally Carter
#57. Victoria glares at him. 'It doesn't mean anything if you don't mean it.'
Zach smiles. 'My dear, I never mean it.
Charles Benoit
#58. I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.
Zach Braff
#59. I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don't think I'll ever get married ... it just wouldn't be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.
Zach Braff
#60. The gremlins are clearly the ones have the most fun in the film, trashing the town, going to the bar, smashing things, etc. It's all gleeful chaos, which makes the movie fun.
Zach Galligan
#61. My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
Zach Galifianakis
#62. I like to think that location, travel, etc, is a launching point for purely imagining.
Zach Condon
#63. The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out; I don't think it really exists anymore.
Zach Galifianakis
#64. It has been pretty much downhill ever since the 13th amendment
Zach Braff
#65. I'm compulsively on time. It drives me insane when people are late.
Zach Gilford
#66. I can't believe 'D' talked to me like that. I can't believe Zach has a girlfriend besides me. I miss Tad. I wish I had been born a fucking tiger all muscle and stripes and furry and I wouldn't give a fuck about this garbage.
Vanessa Davis
#67. I think the Bible should be re-written for today's society. We can call it 'Scrubs.'
Zach Braff
#68. Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.
Zach Braff
#70. I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?
Zach Braff
#71. Elmcrest CC, in Cedar Rapids, is where it all started when I was growing up. The tree-lined course has a very demanding layout that requires you to be accurate off the tee and avoid a number of well-placed water hazards on some of the holes.
Zach Johnson
#72. I like the punch beggers and panhandlers when they ask me for change. I feel like I am doing my part to clean up the streets.
Zach Braff
#73. This is Marvin," he says. "He eats everything and yells like a distressed baby to get attention. I'm goat-sitting him this summer.
Chelsea Fine
#74. I've always preferred Marvel over DC. I just relate to their characters better. I mean look at Wolverine, at first he was just a bit player in an ensemble cast. Now he's the only reason people read X-Men. Just like me and Scrubs.
Zach Braff
#75. Frankly, alcohol leads to a lot of other things when you start drinking at 12-years old. It is a big problem that needs to be addressed. Frankly, the industry has pushed us back and pushed us back.
Zach Wamp
#76. I do feel like my music, in some weird way, is probably better suited for cinema than for anything else - I can't really explain, other than I think that music has been mostly inspired often by soundtracks.
Zach Condon
#77. In the age of the mp3, you gotta make the package special, something that's worth owning.
Zach Condon
#78. Zach was sitting in the passenger seat, seemingly calm and happy and content with his place in the world. The git.
Mil Millington
#79. I called the great French violinist Jean-Luc Ponty and I said 'So, who's the new cat? Who's got the stuff? And he said Zach Brock.
Stanley Clarke
#80. I used to like the word of the day and when I read, highlight words that I didn't know and look them up.
Zach Gilford
#81. My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.
Zach Galifianakis
#82. Strike two. Add dumb as a box of rocks to the list of why I don't like these guys. I got to my feet, deciding to play nice. After all, they were just poor dumb guys who couldn't help it that there weren't enough brains in their genes.
Dinah Katt
#83. My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.
Zach Galifianakis
#84. Often when I find myself listening to music, at least 60 to 70% of it is foreign, so I don't understand a word of it. Melody to me will always be a million times more important than words.
Zach Condon
#85. When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.
Zach Galifianakis
#86. Miki burst into laughter while Angelina looked validly concerned. "Sara, honey, you've got to let your toy go."
"Hey!" Zach snapped.
Shelly Laurenston
#87. Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
Zach Galifianakis
#88. Im just not really attracted to black chicks.
Zach Braff
#89. We've got to continue to find ways to honor our 25 million veterans that have served our country with such honor and distinction.
Zach Wamp
#90. Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me
Zach Braff
#91. I'd like to do a reality show with four white people ... who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called ... Cracker Hunt.
Zach Galifianakis
#92. I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
Zach Galifianakis
#93. Once both gay marriage and marijuana are finally legal, those of you against them are not invited to the really fun parties I'm gonna throw.
Zach Braff
#94. I been in plenty of fights and even more almost-fights. It's all about posturin'. You just gotta act tough."
"What if it didn't work? What if he took a swing at you?"
"Sensai say, 'Big like door, swift like glacier'.
Marie Sexton
#95. I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
Zach Braff
#96. Cade was a vampire. Zach had finally gotten over that. For the most part. Other people could argue about how vampires didn't exist, how they were just relics of folklore and sexual repression and nightmares. Zach had to work with Cade. Denial only got in the way.
Christopher Farnsworth
#99. Being a Christian doesn't mean trouble never comes our way, Zach. It just means God is here, and He gives us the grace to get through the heartache.
Colleen Coble
#100. I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would women have arms? Or feet? Or mouths?
Zach Braff
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