Top 48 Wicked Humor Quotes
#1. Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.
David Sedaris
#2. My parents watch too many soap operas, that's their trouble. In fact, they were probably hoping I was pregnant. By my wicked married lover whom they could then murder and bury under the patio.
Sophie Kinsella
#3. The wicked at heart probably know something.
Woody Allen
#4. Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh.
Douglas Adams
#5. God exists. He has one wicked since of humor, and right now he's having a grand old time punking the planet.
Forrest Carr
#6. No, you're wrong. I'm a hundred percent callow and deeply shallow.
Stephen Schwartz
#7. And pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked.
Jane Austen
#8. When God created the Earth, he had such a sick wicked sense of humor. He made everything that's wrong feel really, really good.
Miranda Kenneally
#9. Eve: "What do you want?"
Nadine: "A man of amazing sexual prowess, great sensitivity, stupendous abs, and the face of an angel. Toss in a wicked sense of humor and stupendous wealth, who adores the very ground I walk on. Oh wait, you already have him.
J.D. Robb
#10. I'm feeling particularly good and wicked at the moment.
A.R. Von
#11. I have never met any really wicked person before. I feel rather frightened. I am so afraid he will look just like every one else.
Oscar Wilde
#12. I'm not just a big-haired redhead country singer who dresses flamboyantly, has this wicked sense of humor and wears rhinestones.
Naomi Judd
#13. Why are we learning about the past, when this is History?
Galinda Glinda
#14. You have an amazing imagination!" "I Know," I say, smiling back at her. "my head is chock-full of gruesome ideas
Bonnie Shimko
#15. Fly, Abraxos," she breathed.
Abraxos sucked in a great breath, tucked his wings in tight, and fell off the side of the post.
He liked to do that - just tumble off as though he'd been struck dead.
Her wyvern, it seemed, had a wicked sense of humor.
Sarah J. Maas
#16. In the old legends, Arachne had gotten into trouble because of pride. She'd bragged about her tapestries being better than Athena's, which had led to Mount Olympus's first reality TV punishment program: 'So You Think You Can Weave Better Than a Goddess?' Arachne had lost in a big way.
Rick Riordan
#17. Fate was a bitch, but she always had a wicked sense of humor. Today, he was her punch line. Tomorrow, she'd be laughing at them.
-Darling's thoughts
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#18. Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.
Lemony Snicket
#19. By some miracle, Charlotte's polite smile never wavered. It was a proud moment for her. After all, it wasn't every day that a little old lady told you right to your face that your bosom was as flat as a flounder.
Olivia Parker
#20. But if you read Jane Austen, you know that she had a wicked sense of humor. Not only was she funny, but her early writing was very dark and had a gothic tone to it.
Seth Grahame-Smith
#21. I met Elton John at an Interview dinner, and we just sort of became friends. He's got such a wicked sense of humor.
Moby
#22. What did you think was going to ensue when you chose Hagan's big ass to train me? That guy is wicked fierce and a total badass.
J.L. McCoy
#23. Twain please!" Peck blubbered. "It was never personal. It was just business!"
"Oh Peck, do you think I'm mad at you? I"m a lawyer. I don't get mad. I don't get even." Twain gave him a wicked smile. " I sue people.
Arthur Daigle
#24. All masculine, hard-bodied and sensual, he was a deadly weapon sent by the gods to drive women mad, and a walking billboard for all things wicked and carnal. Orgasms! Get your orgasms here. Hot and juicy! Just how you like 'em!
Lisa Sanchez
#25. You took your clothes off?"
"You didn't notice?"
"No! Jeez Louise, I don't even know you."
"If you look under the covers, you'll know me better."
"I don't want to know you better!"
"That's a big fib," Diesel said.
Janet Evanovich
#26. I am tempted to incapacitate him with the hemlock and then castrate him."
Lena paled. "I don't think that would be very wise," she said. "And the only knife we own is what I use for the cooking. You're not using that."
"I was planning on using a spoon," Honoria replied.
Bec McMaster
#27. Grampie's boat was a little double-ender, a model not built nowadays. She was narrow, so that she pitched and rolled something wicked in almost any sea. He could handle her, but he said she was probably the boat Christ got out of and walked away from on the water.
Ruth Moore
#28. He was one of your wicked, fascinating men. After he got married he left off being fascinating and just kept on being wicked.
L.M. Montgomery
#29. What are you doing?" she asked, trying to raise herself.
"First, I thought I'd show you what a pity it would be if they cut off my wicked tongue.
Melina Marchetta
#30. Given his personality, I'd say exorcism makes perfect sense as a favored pastime.
Nicki Elson
#31. My body - I do not fall to pieces and be reduced to a big pile of lovable mush over a woman, never!
A.R. Von
#32. Working with Ty Power was exciting. In those days, he was the biggest romantic swashbuckler in the world. Murderously handsome! But what I loved most about Ty Power was his wicked sense of humor.
Maureen O'Hara
#33. If Donald Trump and the Wicked Witch of the West had a kid, it would be Jayne-Anne. She looks like a librarian with some money and good taste in clothes but underneath the Verace, she's Godzilla with tits.
Richard Kadrey
#34. I enjoy a misogynist so long as they have a wicked sense of humor and know, on some level, that they're pigs. This is why I enjoy Philip Roth but not Saul Bellow or James Salter.
Heidi Julavits
#35. You're dealing with a character who is, at some points, quite insane. And I hope that any wicked, dark sense of humor Eric exhibits comes out of the fact that he'd been pushed to the point where it seems quite sensible to say some of the ridiculous things he says.
Brandon Lee
#36. In the spring of fifth grade, the boob fairy arrived with her wand and smacked Cassie wicked hard.
Laurie Halse Anderson
#37. I noticed at once that Depp had a dangerously energized intelligence ... He was a suave little brute, but he had a wicked sense of humor and a rare instinct for escalation.
Hunter S. Thompson
#38. I couldn't help thinkin' if she was as far out o' town as she was out o' tune, she wouldn't get back in a day.
Sarah Orne Jewett
#39. You know, he [Alan Rickman] played these very reserved, sometimes-cold, sometimes-threatening characters on the screen, but the reality of the man was incredible warmth and humor and generosity and wicked fun.
Helen Mirren
#40. Only the wicked understand the ways of the wicked, my dear. ~Madame Zelda to Roller Deb
Red Tash
#43. Laeth returned her smile with one as wicked, as he posed the favorite question of one of the combat instructors, "How many ways are there to kill a person with a knife?"
"It doesn't matter, it only takes one to do the job," returned Rialla.
Patricia Briggs
#44. You'll think of me every time you go to bed. Then you'll get hard and you'll have no one to help you and you'll never be able to sleep unless you-" She grinned that wicked grin Tyrion liked so well. "-is that why they call it the Tower of the Hand, m'lord?
George R R Martin
#45. You backbiting, poisonous, treacherous, deceitful, wicked, clever girl. If this works I'll buy you a pony.
Jim Butcher
#46. I love the diversity of America. I love the plain, normal sense of humor Americans have. It is not wicked, like in some countries. And I also love how new America is.
Antonio Banderas
#47. I genuinely liked all of the cast members very much. Steve had a wicked sense of humor. I remember Russell coming to my rescue, once. I watched Eric evolve before everyone's eyes. Maurice loved what he did, so. He treated his character with respect, down to the costuming.
Madeleine Stowe
#48. She was not sorry. And if it was the wine telling her that, then she would tell the wine the same thing tomorrow. She was not sorry.
Mary Balogh
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