Top 72 Very Humorous Quotes
#1. ['Dad's Army' show]was a military thing but also very funny, so it's kind of the two things that I experienced by being a soldier, and I found it very humorous then and there, because of the juxtapositions [and] me and my emotional state.
Rhys Darby
#2. The great thing about costume jewelry is that there's something for everyone - there are very humorous pieces and very extravagant and outrageous pieces.
Judith Miller
#3. The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
Bob Hope
#4. Our ancestors are very good kind of folks; but they are the last people I should choose to have a visiting acquaintance with.
Richard Brinsley Sheridan
#5. I feel that nasal spray is a wondrous medical achievement, because it is supposed to relieve nasal congestion, and by gadfrey, it relieves nasal congestion. What I'm saying is that it actually works, which is something you can say about very few other aspects of the medical establishment.
Dave Barry
#7. I was very sorry to hear about your losses. Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they'll be more frightened of marriage than they are presently. (Olenna Tyrell to Sansa Stark
George R R Martin
#8. At least it's working out because Cheddar is sort of obsessed with me, or at least very interested, which in the world of felines counts as obsessive behavior.
Holly Goldberg Sloan
#9. if anyone comes into my domain without explicit permission, I'm going to impale you in a way that will give you the very best idea of what it feels like to be a corn dog.
Dannika Dark
#10. I'm afraid that, in this chapter we must talk about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys.
Dave Barry
#11. Said Opie Read to E.P. Roe,
"How do you like Gaboriau?"
"I like him very much indeed!"
Said E.P. Roe to Opie Read.
Julian Street
#12. My character Milly in 'The Boy Who Could Fly' was a very strong part. There were dramatic moments, and there were humorous moments, too. The whole story with Eric Underwood's character was just wonderful, and the messages behind the script were very important to me.
Lucy Deakins
#13. I doubt very much that writers ever go to therapy. I wouldn't! I imagine that I wouldn't have anything to write about after!
Angelina Assanti
#14. Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips.
Charles Dickens
#15. Dude! Get a fucking grip, it's just a song!
When had I turned into a 5-yr-old girl? At the very least, I needed to get my libido under control before the song finished, because I didn't think that my raging hard-on would be a good icebreaker. Well, figuratively speaking anyway, I thought smugly.
M.C. Lavocat
#16. Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though.
Robert DeCoteau
#17. '24' is a pretty serious show - there isn't a lot of improv that is happening. Having said that, I do play around with the delivery. A lot of the humor comes from playing a character who is very furious and really up in her own brain and in a serious situation. That is humorous to me.
Mary Lynn Rajskub
#18. Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.
Charles Dickens
#19. Try picking on someone who can handle you, you worthless little limp dick of a shit." In retrospect I could have picked my taunts a little better. Obviously, the Horned God was very sensitive about his equipment.
K.H. Koehler
#20. But instead I am applying for a job as an elf. Even worse than applying is the very real possibility that I will not be hired, that I couldn't even find work as an elf. That's when you know you're a failure.
David Sedaris
#21. I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of ... here.
C. JoyBell C.
#22. His wardrobe was extensive-very extensive-not strictly classical perhaps, not quite new, nor did it contain any one garment made precisely after the fashion of any age or time, but everything was more or less spangled; and what can be prettier than spangles!
Charles Dickens
#23. "She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."
Charles Dickens
#24. I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.
Bob Hope
#25. England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English.
Dave Barry
#26. We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.
Arthur Conan Doyle
#27. He said that it was very difficult to become an astronaut. I said that I knew. You had to become an officer in the air force and you had to take lots of orders and be prepared to kill other human beings, and I couldn't take orders. Also I didn't have 20/20 vision, which you needed to be a pilot.
Mark Haddon
#28. Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.
Dick Gregory
#30. I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.
Fakeer Ishavardas
#31. The oddly shaped man had introduced himself as a Mr. Abernathy, a wealthy friend of the family. "I'm a wealthy friend of the family," he had said. "Very rich. Friendly.
Jordan Stratford
#32. I think that the habit of gloomy poetry is very funny. It's like a special competition in losing.
Miroslav Holub
#33. When you paint late at night, drinking beer or wine or both, you gotta be very careful to watch what you are doing ...
Hiroko Sakai
#34. I'm very physical. I'm extremely active, and I would love to do something a little more sexy and dangerous, a la Sophia Loren, or funny and humorous, a la Woody Allen. Getting to do things along those lines would be extremely wicked and a dream come true.
Azita Ghanizada
#35. He has me pinned on my back in record time, his mouth crashing against mine as we frantically devour one another. "Awesome speech," he murmurs, pushing my sweater up and planting his hot mouth against my equally hot skin. "Very motivational.
Siobhan Davis
#36. One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
#37. Ma had been very fashionable, before she married Pa, and a dressmaker had made her clothes.
Laura Ingalls Wilder
#38. I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive.
E.A. Bucchianeri
#39. When just a kid, moved back to Canada and looking for a taste of England, I'd picked up a book of my Gram's, a dog-eared romance from the 'sixties about English hospital 'sisters' trying to get it on with the doctors, and thought it very shocking behaviour for nuns.
Roberta Pearce
#40. It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
Bob Hope
#41. The mountain trembled like an earthquake. Dust flew into the sky. And the rock turned dark red, like the color of blood'.
'How would you know?' Asks Sindhi cap. 'You only have a black and white television'.
'But it's a very good one. You can almost see colours.
Mohsin Hamid
#42. If he's after sledge I'd say he's a bottom, and a very sore one if he succeeds , cos your bro looks like he's got a third leg down there, it's so fucking huge. Got an eyeful once when I walked in on him while he was showering ...
Marita A. Hansen
#43. Very few problems cannot be solved by either coffee, wine or chocolate.
Evelynn Crowe
#44. I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I've always had a very happy experience writing for them.
Toby Young
#45. Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.
Dave Barry
#46. The government of my country snubs honest simplicity but fondles artistic villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable pickpocket if I had remained in the public service a year or two.
Mark Twain
#47. We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
Bob Hope
#48. Sometimes, I think the best kind of poem is one in which there is an acute balance between what is humorous and that which is very serious. That balance is very hard to strike. But it can be done.
N. Scott Momaday
#49. I like to think 'The God Delusion' is a humorous book. I think, actually, it's full of laughs. And people who describe it as a polarizing book or as an aggressive book, it's just that very often they haven't read it.
Richard Dawkins
#50. The adults said the only good food was the bacon, but the kids knew better. They had never had a more fun breakfast in their lives. Although they had to agree the bacon was very good. Then again, it was bacon. It was always good.
Ella Minster
#51. There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. "
Bob Hope
#53. I feel like my life has been very serendipitous and really kind of humorous. Everything that's happened to me has been like an, 'Omigod, are you kidding me?'
Vicki Lawrence
#54. The pressures of business relationships: so I tell the guy I usually have my tea time at 10 o'clock every morning. He calls me at noon (very upset) because I didn't meet him on the golf course.
Eric Christopher Jackson
#55. The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to.
Bob Hope
#56. Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.
Henry David Thoreau
#57. A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like assembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or anything else. It is either the best language available to the art today, or it isn't.
Raymond Simard
#58. Very sorry to knock you up, Watson,' said he [Holmes], 'but it is a common lot this morning. Mrs Hudson has been knocked up, she retorted upon me, and I on you.
Arthur Conan Doyle
#59. In Tantric Zen you can be humorous and make fun of anything or you can be very serious.
Frederick Lenz
#60. Dogs make good pets because they are very loyal
Dave Barry
#61. English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie ... in the shower.
Bob Hope
#62. His use of the plural pronoun made me very suspicious.
Matthew Quick
#63. [ ... ] for the philosophy of Square rendered him superior to all emotions, and he very calmly smoaked his pipe, as was his custom in all broils, unless when he apprehended some danger of having it broke in his mouth.
Henry Fielding
#64. The elevator doors opened to reveal a very large man brandishing a bloodstained antique phone receiver in a plastic bag and proclaiming, "I found this up him!"
"You know," said Tallow, "I really have no response to that.
Warren Ellis
#65. Professional is an apt definition for me, professional slouch, that is. I can be very professional at seeming to do work, but the real work is trying to do as little as possible, without getting caught by Trip or any nosey busybodies.
J.C. Patrick
#66. The pig was so earnest. So sincere. So very "there." The pig brought gravity and mythic import to this well-worn fairy tale.
Robert Fulghum
#67. Some people react to suffering by denying the very possibility of God's existence
Michael Ots
#68. He was not at the moment in very good odour at Bow Street. Such epithets as Blockhead and Blunderer had been used in connection with his last case. 'Jeremiah Stubbs, miss,' said the Runner. 'I am here in the execution of my dooty.
Georgette Heyer
#69. My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.
Tim Heidecker
#70. In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article
Charles Dickens
#71. I love the very exposed, humorous, imperfect, never-trying to-pretend-to-be-perfect journey that I have been on in my life.
Drew Barrymore
#72. The Anarchists' [national] anthem is an international anthem that consists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune of Camptown Races. Nobody has to stand up for it, nobody has to listen to it, and, even better, nobody has to play it.
Mike Harding
