Top 100 Uncle Quotes
#1. How humid the heart, its messy rooms! We eat spicy food, sweat like wood and smolder like the coal mine that caught fire decades ago, yet still smokes more than my great-uncle who will not quit- or go out-
Kevin Young
#2. We're all of us going to hell, it's just a question of time.
Harper Lee
#3. Everybody that I was in school with had an uncle or father in the law, and I started to realize that I was going to end up writing briefs for about ten years for these fellows who I thought I was smarter than. And I was kind of losing my feeling for that.
John Wayne
#4. Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W.C. Fields
#5. I am an avid drinker with a serious bowling problem.
Uncle Kracker
#6. I mean, I'm an uncle of seven or eight, and I don't mind it at all! Kids are great. Kids are the best six-hour experience you can have!
Chris O'Dowd
#7. Uncle Scrooge preferred to let the poor die "and decrease the surplus population." Scrooge may not have had God on his side, but his arithmetic was impeccable.
Roger Rosenblatt
#8. I wanta buy stuff. Stuff I don't need ... Stuff settin' out there, you jus' feel like buyin' it whether you need it or not.
-Uncle John
John Steinbeck
#9. Sure, this was where her father had planned the De Beers diamond heist when she was three. It was the very room where her uncle had orchestrated the hijacking of eighty percent of the world's caviar when she was seven.
Ally Carter
#10. What are you, some kind of superhero?" "Nah, I'm just a guy who sometimes kicks ass for Uncle Sam." "Okay," she whispered. "So ... just so you know, that's superhero material in my book.
Zoe York
#12. Don't forget that in pushing policemen into duck ponds the follow through is everything.
P.G. Wodehouse
#13. ...empires were formed by wars of conquest, but ruled by deception."
The Professor, Hope's great-uncle and the builder of the time-machine.
Eve Human
#14. There were days when you would get the TV listings from The Globe and The Herald. Video was out, but nobody could afford it ... expect for my uncle George, who was a second father to me, and had every film in the world, and every book.
William Monahan
#15. I'm just trying to help"
"Do your uncle's bonsai eat meat?"
"I don't think so"
"Have you ever been bitten by one of his bonsai?"
"No."
"In that case, your uncle's bonsai are not helping us
Yann Martel
#16. She and my uncle were very sociable and would have a lot of people over at night to play cards or whatever. The high spot of those evenings was when we kids got dressed up to do a skit or something to amuse the guests. I loved it.
Louise Fletcher
#17. For standing between Cody and his pain is my obligation, and standing between my uncle and his pain is my rent, but the pain I coax from Bronte is my joy
Neal Shusterman
#18. They say that time is relative. I think the way it's treating me it's a distant one, maybe a bad uncle, and not welcome in my house this Christmas!!
Neil Leckman
#19. With a blade at your throat, a well-connected uncle or a wealthy mother could not save you. Only you could save yourself.
Natalia Marx
#20. Paul a smart kid," Hawk said. "I know." "And he pretty strong," Hawk said. "He is." "Got from his uncle," Hawk said. "Uncle Hawk?" "Sho' nuff." "Jesus Christ," I said.
Robert B. Parker
#21. I really think that it's better to retire, in Uncle Earl's terms, when you still have some snap left in your garters.
Russell B. Long
#22. No offense, kid, but I have a strong desire to murder your uncle with extreme prejudice." "No offense taken," I said. "I'm tempted to help you.
Rick Riordan
#23. You can't give a Dementor the old one-two!
J.K. Rowling
#24. When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!'
Christ what an image.
Louise Rennison
#25. Uncle had learned long ago that obeying a rule in fact but not in spirit was very hard on people who say we for I and who do not allow dogs on their premises.
E.L. Konigsburg
#26. I like a lot of sports. Especially football - it's my favourite sport. My uncle played football in Barcelona for nine years and played for Spain in three World Cups.
Rafael Nadal
#27. They told me I had been sick twelve days, lying like dead all the while, and that Whirlwind Chaser, who was Standing Bear's uncle and a medicine man, had brought me back to life.
Black Elk
#28. Give me a funeral over a wedding any day,.' said Uncle Montague with a sigh. 'The conversation is almost always superior.
Chris Priestley
#29. It is nothing, Marie-Laure. Come now." Marie-Laure backs out. Below her, her great-uncle whispers nursery rhymes to himself. "I can sit with him for a bit, Madame. Maybe we could read some more of our
Anthony Doerr
#30. We must proceed with our own energy development. Exploitation of domestic petroleum and natural gas potentialities, along with nuclear, solar, geothermal, and non-fossil fuels is vital. We will never again permit any foreign nation to have Uncle Sam over a barrel of oil.
Gerald R. Ford
#31. No, he didn't win, Great-Uncle Merry said, and even in the clear afternoon sunshine he seemed with every word to become more remote, as ancient as the rock behind him and the old world of which he spoke.
Susan Cooper
#32. The drive was brief and the conversation limited, but oh, what a legacy of love! Father never read to me from the Bible about the good Samaritan. Rather, he took me with him and Uncle Elias in that old 1928 Oldsmobile and provided a living lesson I have always remembered.
Thomas S. Monson
#33. I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll.
David Walliams
#34. If you got something outside the common run that's got to be done and cant wait, dont waste your time on the menfolks; they works on what your uncle calls the rules and the cases. Get the womens and the children at it; they works on the circumstances.
William Faulkner
#35. I Hated Duke. I Felt Like They Only Recruited Black Players That Were Uncle Toms.
Jalen Rose
#36. aunt and uncle, and when she was able, to help other women who had suffered the
MaryLu Tyndall
#37. The boy was very cute. But the uncle is delicious. So much so that even my vagina wanted to sigh. Imagine a Gap model with a dash of rock star. E:
Mia Asher
#38. When I was young I was working with a lot of people being out in the south. My uncle wrote for Al Green and I was around Al a lot.
Drake
#39. Radio was my life growing up. Then, I started in our family band with my uncle, my father, my aunt and my little brother. We would go to The Chicken Box and all the bars and play.
Meghan Trainor
#40. By interviewing at least one veteran, you can preserve memories that otherwise might be lost. My uncle was a downed fighter pilot and P.O.W. in World War II, and I am looking forward to recording his story for inclusion in the project.
Spencer Bachus
#41. Maybe! Maybe! Maybe if your aunt had a beard, she'd be your uncle.
Alvah Bessie
#42. I like them all - I don't always approve. I see myself as a sort of benevolent uncle to these characters, and I can see why they do what they do; sometimes they make some mistakes, but at heart I think they're decent.
Patrick Marber
#43. Well," says Uncle Enzo. It is the "well" that begins the end of a
conversation. "I was going to send you some roses, but you wouldn't really be
interested in that, would you?
Neal Stephenson
#44. Well, it's great that critics are comparing
me to Eminem, and not Vanilla Ice.
Uncle Kracker
#45. I don't have a creepy uncle, but I certainly have many, many uncles. My mom has twelve brothers and sisters, and my dad has two sisters and three brothers. Their maturity level is still hovering around fifteen when they all get together, but they're not necessarily creepy.
Martha MacIsaac
#46. If you asked me what Uncle Vanya is about, I would say about as much as I can take.
Robert Garland
#47. I'm sure Uncle Eddie won't kill him. He'll probably just maim him a little."
"No," Uncle Eddie said. "I won't."
"Okay," Gabrielle said. "So he'll maim him a lot. But Hale can take it.
Ally Carter
#48. [ ... ] I'll fucking kill them all. Every single one of them."
Corrado's voice rang out beside them. "Too late. They're all already dead."
Carmine glared at his uncle. "Well, we'll bring those motherfuckers back to life then.
J.M. Darhower
#49. Every morning, therefore, uncle Charles repaired to his outhouse but not before he had greased and brushed scrupulously his back hair and brushed and put on his tall hat.
James Joyce
#50. At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.
Zach Braff
#51. Roland gave her a courtier's smile. "And what sort of work do you do for my uncle?
"
Dorian shifted on his feet and Chaol went very still, but Celaena returned Roland's smile and said, "I bury the king's opponents where nobody will ever find them.
Sarah J. Maas
#52. In those days, the late 1970s, one of the leading politicians was a soon-to-be uncle by marriage of Arnold Schwarzenegger, named Ted Kennedy.
Michael Kinsley
#53. Prince Caspian lived in a great castle in the center of Narnia with his uncle, Miraz, the King of Narnia, and his aunt, who had red hair and was called Queen Prunaprismia.
C.S. Lewis
#54. He's paragon schnitzophonic." "He's what?!" "Paragon schnitzophonic," repeats Uncle Al. "You mean paranoid schizophrenic?
Sara Gruen
#55. (My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
Tina Fey
#56. What was I thinking, anyway? It would never work out between the two of us. I mean, I'm a mediator. His dad's a vampire. His uncle's a killer. What if we got married? Think how our kids would turn out ...
Meg Cabot
#57. Bobby's World touched a lot of people. That's why the family's last name is Generic. Uncle Ted is based on uncles we've all had.
Howie Mandel
#58. You can't teach an old dog new dog new tricks. Now,you can give an old dog new toys. And we've got one here!
Si Robertson
#59. The fridge had been emptied of all Dudley's favorite things - fizzy drinks and cakes, chocolate bars and burgers - and filled instead with fruit and vegetables and the sorts of things that Uncle Vernon called rabbit food.
J.K. Rowling
#60. Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.
J.K. Rowling
#61. He was the only figure able to hold the peace between his uncle
Dan Jones
#62. Upon the farm of the uncle with whom I lived, we did know of the mortgage as some dreadful damper on youthful hopes of things that could not be bought. I do have a vivid recollection that the major purpose of a farm was to produce a living right on the spot for the family.
Herbert Hoover
#63. Before I could do any sleuthing, though, I still had the question of Uncle Louis.
Christy Fifield
#64. So while his uncle taunted him, probing for a weak spot-it wasn't enough to kill; he had to torment - Akiva heard what he said, but none of it touched him. It was like threatening darkness at the break of day.
Laini Taylor
#65. What his uncle does not understand is that in walking backwards, his back to the world, his back to God, he is not grieving. He is objecting. Because when everything cherished by you in life has been taken away, what else is there to do but object?
Yann Martel
#66. Believe me, it's far more difficult to keep stoking one's anger than it is to forgive and move on."
"Ah, so that's how you manage to keep sane with Uncle Imcael.
Eresse
#67. I got a lot from my uncle who is a really good ska guitarist. Very ragged makeshift rhythms and intricate lines.
King Krule
#68. Anyone can see that to write Uncle Tom's Cabin on the knee in the kitchen, with constant calls to cooking and other details of housework to punctuate the paragraphs, was a more difficult achievement than to write it at leisure in a quiet room.
Anna Garlin Spencer
#69. Aunt Maria would mildly observe that, next time Uncle Podger was going to hammer a nail into the wall, she hoped he'd let her know in time, so that she could make arrangements to go and spend a week with her mother while it was being done.
Jerome K. Jerome
#70. They ran. They stayed warmer that way and running seemed to be the right way to measure their love for Uncle Ben. They wanted to hear their breath, and their feet stamping the ground. They wanted to feel their lungs working, and their hearts.
Roddy Doyle
#71. My great-great-great uncle - or maybe it's only two 'greats' - crossbred the first Aberdeen Angus.
Joanna Lumley
#72. My uncle Shawn used to stay with us when we were really young, and I used to come downstairs and see him break dancing on this piece of a cardboard. I probably always thought they were cool since then. I never knew his comedy, but I used to always see him break dancing. And he was terrible at it.
Damon Wayans Jr.
#73. Now," said I, "we must not let this water run away."
"Why not?" replied my uncle. "I suspect the spring is unfailing." (p. 105)
Jules Verne
#74. We were just showering," Lex muttered.
"Of course," Uncle Mort said. "Everyone knows how impossible it is to zestfully clean without assistance.
Gina Damico
#75. Young people, for whom I should have been a role model and an uncle, duplicated my worst habits and died as a result.
Peter Coyote
#76. In total this journey will take five flights and fifty-five hours, but in reality it began four decades and two generations ago when my uncle died in Vietnam.
Tucker Elliot
#77. I spent a long time away from my parents when I was younger. I would go hunting and fishing with my uncle, and we would go for weeks at a time. I also spent a lot of time in Texas with my grandparents.
RJ Mitte
#78. Sir Henry fixed him with a keen eye.
'Odd name, Tom Skatt - eh?'
'Thats right'
'You don't think we could be related?'
Tom looked up at his great-great-great-uncle and smiled.
'I don't think so'
'No,' grinned Sir Henry no, of course not
Henry Chancellor
#79. How's Uncle Louis today?" "Who?" "And Aunt Maude?
Ray Bradbury
#80. I always thought Uncle Vanya could be a stoned masterpiece.
Vera Farmiga
#81. She did her best but like Uncle E says, sometimes your best just ain't good enough.
Patricia Wood
#82. the house seems the material equivalent of her uncle's inner being: apprehensive, isolated, but full of cobwebby wonders. In
Anthony Doerr
#83. The uncle lit up and blew smoke in a thin blue viper's breath toward the window. It coiled and diffused in the yellow light. He smiled. I'd like to have a dollar for every time I quit, he said.
Cormac McCarthy
#84. Uncle Burt's round face, mixing bowl bangs of greying blond locks and toothless smile made him look more like an emoticon than a judge.
Kenneth Eade
#85. My uncle Khosrove became very irritated and shouted, It's no harm. What is the loss of a horse? Haven't we all lost the homeland? What is this crying over a horse?
William, Saroyan
#86. Do something!" Norwood told him.
"Do what?" Uncle Mort's face was furious. "Fly up there and get it? You bring your broomstick, Hel?
Gina Damico
#87. I was convinced by now that his feelings for Laoghaire were only those of a chivalrous friendship, but I didn't know what he might do if he knew that his uncle had seduced the girl and got her with child.
Diana Gabaldon
#88. You take after your dad, a high-functioning sociopath with an incurable organic personality disorder. It's one of the special-sauce variety, the kind with a known genetic cause. Your uncle Albert was something different, and worse: He was a man of faith.
Charles Stross
#89. And do I look like the kind of man that can be intimidated?" barked Uncle Vernon.
"Well ... " said Moody, pushing back his bowler hat to reveal his sinisterly revolving eye. Uncle Vernon lept backward in horror and collided painfully with a luggage trolley. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley.
J.K. Rowling
#90. My father and my uncle used to be amateur monologuists because their generation grew up with Henry Irving and the like, and they had that style of delivery, of declamation: 'The Belllllls!' What we call 'ham' now, larger than life.
Ron Moody
#91. As a broad generalization, big businesses have no moral objections to being whores. Getting into bed with Uncle Sam is all a question of price, not principle.
Jonah Goldberg
#92. Uncle Drew is completely inappropriate and one hundred percent of the time, and Aunt Jenny is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
Tara Sivec Love And Lists
#93. Many massacres have happened when people yell surprise! Pearl Harbor. The Tet Offensive. My uncle's 50th birthday party. I was there, man! How many more people gotta die?
Christopher Titus
#94. He came to understand the difference between the gods' blessed and a smart man. His uncle was one. His father the other.
Melina Marchetta
#95. I had a wonderful contact, especially with Uncle Bert who was an angel and led the whole group over to my side of a steep ravine I could not cross to get over to them.
Dian Fossey
#96. He described how, as a boy of 14, his dad had been down the mining pit, his uncle had been down the pit, his brother had been down the pit, and of course he would go down the pit.
Barbara Castle
#97. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry
"
"They won't," said Harry.
"That you're safe
"
"That'll just depress them."
"
and you'll see them next summer."
"Do I have to?
J.K. Rowling
#98. The upbeat DHS report was some kind of high-water mark for government gall - a tough record to beat. After sitting back and watching the Cabal do all the work, and nearly succeed, Uncle Sam finally found a role for himself: proclaim victory and then stick a flag in it!
Mark Bowden
#99. Love is the only thing that interests me", he said.
"The trouble," his uncle said to him," is that without river navigation, there is no love".
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
#100. My daddy was a minister, my grandfather was a voodoo priest, my uncle was a mason; I was raised with a lot of studies.
Wyclef Jean
