Toilet Seat Up Quotes

#1. The tone of the scream reminded me of Hera whenever she stormed through the hallways of Olympus, yelling at me for leaving the godly toilet seat up.

Rick Riordan

#2. Thou may leave the toilet seat up. But thou shalt not leave the toilet seat down and pee on it.

Jenna Jameson

#3. Online, you're providing each other with the good aspects of being together as far as communication and support, but you don't have to deal with the realities of paying bills together, or being annoyed when they leave the toilet seat up or don't put the food away in the fridge.

Nev Schulman

#4. Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

Rita Rudner

#5. Now, as husbands go, I have to admit I did all right. Joe is unquestionably handsome, doesn't leave ragged toenail clippings scattered about the house, and has never once, in nearly five thousand days of togetherness, left the toilet seat up.

Jenna McCarthy

#6. What do you see in him anyway?" "He doesn't leave the toilet seat up." I smiled bitterly

Jayde Scott

#7. So you killed him with what now?"
"I tried that Dr. Phil book at first" ... "And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.

Jesse Petersen

#8. I swear if Washington moved any slower, we could be at war and it would all be over before they could even lift their sluggish, naked, dead asses off of their comfortable heated-seat toilets. -Fitzhugh to Captain Jeeter

Ray Palla

#9. I will go to the Opening of Anything, including a Toilet Seat

Andy Warhol

#10. Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls.
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.
George!
Only joking, Mum.

J.K. Rowling

#11. It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth.

Rob Delaney

#12. We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!

J.K. Rowling

#13. I don't know what to say about the hygiene of the male species.

Victor LaValle

#14. I can't do it, if I finish that, I'll have to attach a seat belt to the toilet.
Maybe an airbag too.

J.A. Konrath

#15. Bad writing is not easier than good writing. It's just as hard to make a toilet seat as it is a castle window. Only the view is different.

Ben Hecht

#16. You're asking the government to control individual morality. This is a government that can't buy a toilet seat for under $600.

Peter McWilliams

#17. I'm shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won't sit on a toilet seat on a plane. I'm certainly not going to go on somebody's lawn. Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress?

Farrah Fawcett

#18. Wow, he must get more ass than a toilet seat!

Kresley Cole

#19. Done properly," she said, "cunnilingus and fellatio should be more pleasant, and a lot cleaner, than kissing a toilet seat. I hope that answers your question.

Tom Perrotta