Time To Go Home Funny Quotes

#1. And I would stop and take you in, all of you, and when our eyes lock we'd just stare into each other's souls and all of the lost time would come out in the shape of a big smile, a few tears and a tight hug that feels like ...
I don't know, it would feel like home.

Morgan Parker

#2. Nico: By the time I drove back home last night, I'd gotten myself under control. I'd reasoned with my hard-on until it finally saw my way. Who knew you could reason with a fucking hard-on. I guess I never tried. I just took care of it, did what it wanted me to.

Vi Keeland

#3. Every American deserves their day in court. Every American is innocent until proven guilty. These are core values enshrined in our founding document - the United States Constitution.

John Garamendi

#4. After a time he fell asleep, and some unsteady fairies had to climb over him on their way home from an orgy.

J.M. Barrie

#5. I have a new horse. I get her to come to me from half a mile away. With just a simple call. That's because she knows that when she's with me, she's taken care of. She trusts me.

Russell Crowe

#6. I watched Janis one time - we opened for her - and that's the only time I ever saw her. We opened for Jimi Hendrix. I got to stand on the side of the stage and watch him for two hours and then he died. But I got the essence before they left.

Stevie Nicks

#7. The body of a dead enemy always smells sweet.

Titus Flavius Vespasian

#8. There is a certain delightful sort of hope which the introvert can receive only by having company over...the hope that they will leave soon.

Criss Jami

#9. He'd spent so much time in the penalty box for fighting last season, he'd been tempted to hang a picture and maybe set up a lava lamp, it had felt so much like home

Rachel Gibson

#10. When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh.

Courteney Cox

#11. It was the coldest winter ever! I thought last winter was the coldest winter ever, but I was wrong now wasn't I? You see because I travel all the time. So last winter, I'd be in the midwest, and the blizzard would hit. And then I'd fly home, AND THE BLIZZARD WOULD HIT AGAIN!

Lewis Black

#12. I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I'm home?' And my mother said, 'You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.' And I said, 'Yes, but you see, I've reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?'

Natasha Leggero

#13. According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you're having your gangrenous leg sawed off, watching your home burn down or learning how to be intimate with your cellmate, but, in the big scheme of things, soon.

Chuck Lorre

#14. That awkward moment when you realize someone was actually home the whole time you were singing on the tops of your lungs.

Kasey Collin P. Dumdum

#15. You can't rewrite the past

Jay Asher

#16. Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. "He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!"

Jerry Seinfeld

#17. I myself grew up when radio was very important. I'd come home from school and turn on the radio. There were funny comedians and wonderful music, and there were plays. I used to pass time with radio.

Kurt Vonnegut

#18. That's where depression hits you most - your home life. It doesn't affect your work. I can't do this zany, wacky, funny thing any more. I haven't been like that for a long time.

Lenny Henry

#19. Furthermore
though it was quite irrelevant now
he had no idea his killer, Kazuo Kiriyama, had, in his mansion that was much larger than Toshinori's home in Shiroiwa-cho, mastered the violin at a level far superior to Toshinori's a long time ago
and then tossed his violin into the trash.

Koushun Takami

#20. I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo