Top 30 Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes

#1. I was lucky. My family is wonderful. And it's funny, because most of my best friends come from very large families. So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings, though in the end I had to leave them and go home. I kind of got the best of both worlds as a kid.

Sophia Bush

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #30540
#2. This is one bar you should take home.

Eugene Ormandy

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #34701
#3. Mom, camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.

Yvonne Prinz

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #66670
#4. I froze all night. My back's killing me. I want home, and I'm scared to death. But I guess the view makes it all worth it."
"You're funny," Angel said

Jayde Scott

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #94535
#5. I mean if there was any justice in the world you wouldn't even have to go to school during your period. You'd just stay home for five days and eat chocolate and cry.

Andrea Portes

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #102122
#6. She'd done things to him he thought only happened to characters in country-western songs, laying waste to his car, his dogs, driving him from his home, and making an outlaw of him. It was almost funny.

Joe Hill

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #104019
#7. Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks.

Caroline Rhea

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #107420
#8. Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.

Alfred Hitchcock

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #116874
#9. Count the steps
and keep the number.
Pick the white pebbles
and the funny strange leaves.
Mark the curves
and cliffs around
for you may need
to come home again.

Tenzin Tsundue

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #132279
#10. When I left home, my mum said "Don't forget to write", I thought, "That's unlikely" ... It's a basic skill isn't it ...

Tim Vine

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #149212
#11. I'm not a very serious person. You know how they say that clowns are very funny in public and are really sad at home? I'm really kind of stupid at home and more serious in public.

Roland Joffe

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #171878
#12. It was funny how you could go somewhere and your whole life could stretch out and then you could come home and have it all shrink back to the way it was before. It was funny that it didn't stay stretched.

Jodi Lynn Anderson

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #180305
#13. It's funny, because I was trained as a dramatic actor at New York's Colonnades Theater Lab in the '70s, along with Jeff Goldblum, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman. People I worked with there saw a comedian in me. I'm still most at home in comedy.

Peter Scolari

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #186541
#14. People would ask me, 'Is he as funny at home as he is in the movies?' ... I would have to answer, 'Well, he can be funny. But he is also very serious. He has insomnia and if we him up early, he would bawl the hell out of me'.

Arthur Marx

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #190418
#15. They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.

Mitch Hedberg

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #201353
#16. I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.

Mitch Hedberg

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #230785
#17. I never see any home cooking - all I get is fancy stuff.

Prince Philip

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #266548
#18. I always feel in a funny place when I'm really asked to inform people, so I just try to take the more absurdist route - like, "this is how you could do it, but it's actually turning into a cat now. This might happen at home I guess, but it probably won't."

Thu Tran

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #269053
#19. It was the coldest winter ever! I thought last winter was the coldest winter ever, but I was wrong now wasn't I? You see because I travel all the time. So last winter, I'd be in the midwest, and the blizzard would hit. And then I'd fly home, AND THE BLIZZARD WOULD HIT AGAIN!

Lewis Black

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #282535
#20. Tuck's home, so I suggest we use our indoor voices.

Elle Kennedy

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #288092
#21. Our foyer has a funny smell that doesn't smell like anyplace else. I don't know what the hell it is. It isn't cauliflower and it isn't perfume - I don't know what the hell it is - but you always know you're home.

J.D. Salinger

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #290675
#22. I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!

Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #303458
#23. I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #333362
#24. Sure. I'd like to live regular. Go home to a good looking wife, a hot dinner, and a husky kid. But I guess I got film in my blood. I love this racket. It's exciting. It's dangerous. It's funny. It's tough. It's heartbreaking.

Weegee

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #369360
#25. Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

Henny Youngman

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #372830
#26. The funny thing about Thanksgiving ,or any big meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it then go home and cook,chop,braise and blanch. Then it's gone in 20 minutes and everybody lies around sortof in a sugar coma and then it takes 4 hours to clean it up.

Ted Allen

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #386292
#27. Is this your boyfriend?" the first nun asked.
Clair Olivia looked me up and down. "No. This is my gay friend who decided he was straight and single-handedly wrecked havoc at an all-boys school in Massachusetts this fall. He's gay again and home for Christmas, so yay!

Bill Konigsberg

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #387083
#28. Congratulations to Mexico. They upset Brazil to win a gold medal in men's soccer. And after the Olympics ended, the Mexican soccer team, of course, returned home to their houses here in Los Angeles.

Jay Leno

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #391764
#29. It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

Jimmy Carr

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #400533
#30. I got a smoke alarm at home, but really it's more like a 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.

Mitch Hedberg

Funny Welcome To Our Home Quotes #406177

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