Top 86 Remember Me Funny Quotes
#1. It's so funny looking back, but my so-called overnight success actually took 15 years. I remember when I didn't have any money, and my only car was mom's Hyundai.
Criss Angel
#3. There isn't so much to be afraid of, out there. I can remember thinking it was funny to find that out, on the last night of my life; I'd spent the rest of it being afraid of everything.
Nick Hornby
#4. It's a funny thing - the reality is I have no feelings about school. It's long gone. Funnily enough, the bad memories - of which I don't have any left to be honest, I can just remember a sense of tedium - have faded. And teachers that I liked have remained quite vivid. There are three or four left.
Colin Firth
#5. Aha! I take my three keys on my ring (car, house, El's) and hold my hand in a fist so that each of the keys is peeking out from between my fingers. I remember seeing this on a self-denfense special of Maury. Television saves lives.
Julie Murphy
#6. Basically Ken is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed up all night rubbing it with germoline and banging its head on the table.
Dave Barry
#7. I remember seeing McCoy Tyner in concert, and thinking that the music was incredible, but wanting to be invited in. I figured that humor was the way of letting the audience in. I've gotten a hard time about it, but I love to be funny onstage.
John Lurie
#8. Playing in this nice weather really makes me remember all the times I got stung by a bee.
John Madden
#9. I look out at the stadiums full of people and see them all knowing the words to songs I wrote. And curling their hair! I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. And wonderful.
Taylor Swift
#10. It's funny to see the finished product of a movie, stuff that's so beautiful, and to remember the particulars.
Amy Ryan
#12. I hear it now. I don't remember hearing it before. It's funny how something happens, and
then everything else becomes referenced as before or after. It's like time stopped for just that
moment and then started again.
Christine Hayton
#13. I have this condition I call impromptu senility. I can't remember a damn thing when I don't want to.
Laurann Dohner
#14. The seer crow was outraged. "Mangiz does not forget an insult, hedgepig."
Ambrose smiled cheekily. "Good, then here's a few more for you to remember, you pot-bellied, cross-eyed, feather-bottomed excuse for a duck.
Brian Jacques
#15. You don't have to do this."
"I think I do," Julian said. "I remember making a vow to that affect."
"Whither thou goest, i will go, whatever stupid thing you do, i shall do also'." Emma said. "Was that the vow?
Cassandra Clare
#16. I remember love. It's what I have to keep on reminding myself. It's funny how you can forget everything except people loving you.
Melina Marchetta
#17. I can't dance, remember?" I whispered.
"It's just a tango. It is like sex, except with clothes on." Then, squeezing me closer: "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot, you do not know how to do that either.
Joe Schreiber
#18. So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R.
Tim Vine
#19. Winning is everything. The only ones who remember you when you come second are your wife and your dog.
Damon Hill
#20. Crazy moment!! When you suddenly laughed because you remember something funny and then realised that strangers were lookin at you weirdly (why the hell he's laughin) and immediately you changed your expression to serious.
Khaled Besrour
#21. I've always had a penchant for dialects. I remember getting detention and being told, 'Have a think about where doing these funny voices might get you someday.'
Nolan North
#22. - and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word.
Rudyard Kipling
#23. I remember when I left Hungary," Zoltan said, "understanding so completely that literature could save me as much as it could get me killed. Of course it's not like that here. But isn't it funny, that in some ways the price one pays for freedom of speech is ... a kind of indifference.
Daphne Kalotay
#24. I own your balls, huh !" She grinned, laughing." I'll have to remember that the nest time you give me any shit. " (El Diablo)
M. Robinson
#25. Schiffer recoiled: "Oh, Jesus Christ, Taryn, don't give me a heart attack," she said, clutching at her chest. "Remember: no sense of humor. How many times do I have to tell you that: No sense of humor. Humor can get you in all kinds of shit and we've got this won, if we don't get funny.
John Sandford
#26. What is memory foam? How does it remember things? Does it have its own brain?" Edilyn
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Suffice it to say, it's something future man will thank modern science for. There's also a toilet in the bathroom." Virag
"A what in the who?" Edilyn
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#27. Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK?
Orson Scott Card
#28. My songs are personal music, they're not communal. I wouldn't want people singing along with me. It would sound funny. I'm not playing campfire meetings. I don't remember anyone singing along with Elvis, Carl Perkins or Little Richard.
Bob Dylan
#30. Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!
Rick Riordan
#31. Hey, Ethan."
"Yeah?"
"Remember the Twinkie on the bus? The one I gave you in second grade, the day we met?"
"The one you found on the floor and gave me without telling me? Nice."
He grinned and shot the ball. "It never really fell on the floor. I made that part up.
Kami Garcia
#32. Glaring at the Gasman, ter Borcht said, "Your time is coming to an end, you
pathetic failure of an experiment. Vhat you say now is how you vill be
remembered."
Gazzy's blue eyes flashed. "Then you can remember me telling you to kiss
my-"
"Enough!" ter Borcht said.
James Patterson
#33. As it 'appens, I am Arthur's right-hand man," said Suzy. "Or left-hand girl, I can't remember where I stood last time. Anyhow, me and Arthur is like two fingers of a gauntlet. Or at least the thumb and the little finger. I mean, I'm his top General, and all. So if I say you're in, you're in.
Garth Nix
#34. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.
Rita Rudner
#35. I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga ... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are."
Bill Cosby
#36. I gave my heart to the Lord, and I remember the incident vividly. The Lord spoke to me. I know that sounds funny. It was not an audible voice or anything of that nature.
Jimmy Swaggart
#37. I'm too busy thinking what I'm going to say next to remember what I've said, but my staff tells me I'm sometimes funny. Not always on purpose, though.
Jared Polis
#38. It's funny because I remember when I came to the U.S. with 'Swimming Pool,' the movie did well, and it was great box office for a French movie, but I remember I was a bit upset because all people talked to me about was the nudity.
Ludivine Sagnier
#39. I was raised by extremely strict - but also extremely loving - Chinese immigrant parents, and I had the most wonderful childhood! I remember laughing constantly with my parents - my dad is a real character and very funny. I certainly did wish they allowed to me do more things!
Amy Chua
#40. I know nothing of magick," the naked man said to the raven, "except what you told me." He laughed sadly. "And I barely remember that. I tend to drift off when you ramble.
Ash Gray
#41. Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed.
Celia Johnson
#42. Now I'm just like everybody else, and it's so funny,
the way monogamy is funny, the way
someone falling down in the street is funny.
I entered a revolving door and emerged
as a human being. When you think of me
is my face electronically blurred?
Jeffrey McDaniel
#43. I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed. I was scared. People were expecting me to be funny. I gotta be honest, every time I walk into a club, it's that same fear.
Bill Burr
#44. When it's all said and done remember, You are only as old as you look.
Mark W. Boyer
#45. Reassuring thoughts have a funny way of getting stuck on repeat. Then you wake up one day and you can't remember where you put the last thirty years of your life.
S.A. Tawks
#46. Nona had been bonkers since I could remember. Dad said it was menopause, but I had looked that up once, and I highly doubted that was the case.
Holly Hood
#47. I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.
Bob Monkhouse
#49. Can you put your hands on my crotch?"
"Why, hell no, I cannot." I didn't remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice.
Jennifer Echols
#50. It's funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn't afford my rent.
Natalie Merchant
#51. My dad hasn't said much about his college days. Oh, a few times, he might start telling stories. And I've seen some highlight film of him from college. I remember thinking he looked really small. Which is funny, because growing up, I thought he was a pretty big guy.
Andrew Luck
#52. To be unpopular, you must look the part. Remember four words: plastic flowered swim cap.
Jennifer Ziegler
#53. Jillian's fine. She's in her room with one of Drew's e- readers."
"Uh oh." Drew sat forward. "Which one?" Audrey tensed.
"The blue one. The mini- tablet?"
"Okay." Drew smiled. "That's fine, then. Porn's on the red one." She stared for a moment.
"Right. I'll remember that.
Susan Sey
#54. It's funny - when I first started as an actor, obviously there were long periods of being idle and all you want to do is work. So if I ever get the compulsion to feel like I should complain or feel like I want to take a break, I just remember how I was before and be very grateful for it.
Neil Jackson
#55. Our characters were antiseptic but we weren't. And if you remember what we did on BATMAN, as the scripts were written very funny, we played them very straight.
Burt Ward
#56. Yes, they put their babies inside an iron stove full of coals. So, if you see a Russian person doing something crazy, as you sometimes do, remember - they have been doing that shit forever. It's nothing new.
Jesse Ball
#57. I remember calling the council's cemetery department to ask about body decomposition in different soil types. Once they had verified that I was a novelist and not a sicko, they were extremely helpful.
Sara Sheridan
#58. And identity is funny being yourself is funny as you are never yourself to yourself except as you remember yourself and then of course you do not believe yourself.
Gertrude Stein
#59. When I was 12 I made some little films with my friends. I tried to make gangster films, like Fantomas, but I remember being very disappointed with them. They weren't frightening at all. I'm sure they'd be very funny now.
Alain Resnais
#60. I had a funny feeling as I saw the house disappear, as though I had written a poem and it was very good and I had lost it and would never remember it again.
Raymond Chandler
#61. Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States, and said it wasn't his fault, because he was not aware, at the time, of what his foreign policy was.
Dave Barry
#62. I remember getting a Phoenix Suns T-shirt. I had that Phoenix Suns T-shirt forever. It's the funny things you remember as a kid, but it was a blast.
Jonathan Lipnicki
#63. You know what's funny about death? I mean other than absolutely nothing at all? You'd think we could remember finding out we weren't immortal. Sometimes I see children sobbing airports and I think, Aww. They've just been told.
Carrie Fisher
#64. I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark ... '
Rodney Dangerfield
#66. It's funny. Some people remember that a lot more than I do. I remember certain parts of it, and if everybody who mentioned that to me had been to the game who said they were at the game, there'd be 800,000 people at that game, I think.
Carlton Fisk
#67. I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
Dane Cook
#68. I'm a fan of the old 'Creature Features' like 'Critters,' and 'Gremlins' and 'Tremors.' 'Jaws' is classic. It's funny that I still like those films because I remember my mom would tease me about getting a pet Critter to keep under my bed.
Brooke Nevin
#69. There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly.
Lola J. May
#70. Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.
Eric Idle
#71. I used to like Barbra Streisand films. It was 'Funny Girl' that really turned me on, in a sense, to acting. I remember it specifically being a rainy Saturday afternoon. I couldn't play football, so I stayed in, and I watched 'Funny Girl.'
Sean Harris
#72. I start laughing. You have to laugh. Life is just funny sometimes. As long as you remember.
E.R. Frank
#73. Remember: There's a reason the fairy godmother gave Cinderella two glass slippers.
Michael Callahan
#74. I remember certain people in the audience laughing and I wanted to ask: 'What are you laughing at? This isn't funny.' Now I realize that laughter can come from insecurity. They don't know how they should be feeling.
Jim Dale
#75. It's difficult to remember when you haven't played it before.
Eugene Ormandy
#76. What was the good of being a movie werewolf? You howled at the moon; you couldn't remember what you did, and then somebody shot you.
Anne Rice
#77. Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow.
Tobias Wolff
#78. I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?
Paul Merton
#79. LEARN FROM THE MASTERS:
Mark Twain once said, "Show, don't tell." This is an incredibly important lesson for writers to remember; never get such a giant head that you feel entitled to throw around obscure phrases like "Show, don't tell." Thanks for nothing, Mr. Cryptic.
Colin Nissan
#80. Internet's been down most of the day [at work]. Doing research by just asking everyone what we remember to be true. What could possibly go wrong?
Rachel Maddow
#81. I remember it was a damn funny thing for a stranger to say," Stephen said. "Old Ones, we Old Ones. With capital letters
you could *hear* them.
Susan Cooper
#82. It is funny that people always assume you have a bigger part in a movie than you actually do. I remember a lot of people thought 'Adventureland' starred me and Kristen Wiig. But we were like, 'No, we're only in the movie for like ten minutes!'
Bill Hader
#84. And remember, it's also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy.
Fran Drescher
#85. Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.
Bauvard
#86. Funny, how it took a little bit of pain to remember that certain parts of yourself were alive.
Adi Alsaid
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