Amy Chua Quotes

#1. The Chinese mom is not the helicopter mom. I would never do their homework for them. It's all about: Take responsibility, don't blame others. Be self-reliant. Never blame the teacher.

Amy Chua

#2. Genghis Khan decreed religious tolerance for all of his conquered peoples. So I think he definitely would approve of our constitutional protections of freedom of religion. I think he would also approve of the way the U.S. has been able to attract talented people from all over the world.

Amy Chua

#3. I think if you're a 'tiger parent' early on, you don't need to be a 'helicopter parent' in high school.

Amy Chua

#4. Instilling a sense of self-discipline and focus when the kids are younger makes it so much easier by the time they get into high school.

Amy Chua

#5. I say 'I love you' to my daughters every day.

Amy Chua

#6. Never complain or make excuses. If something seems unfair, just prove yourself by working twice as hard and being twice as good.

Amy Chua

#7. Tiger parenting is all about raising independent, creative, courageous kids. In America today, there's a dangerous tendency to romanticize creativity in a way that may undermine it.

Amy Chua

#8. Be modest, be humble, be simple,

Amy Chua

#9. Happiness is not always through success. Equally, the constant pursuit of success is sure unhappiness. But we have to find the balance. My own thoughts are that parenting is very personal. And we all feel enormous insecurity about parenting. What are they going to think of us 20 years down the line?

Amy Chua

#10. Kids raised to be pampered and spoiled don't really end up being good leaders. Leaders need to be independent minded and confident.

Amy Chua

#11. Most things are difficult at the beginning and they become fun, something you love, only after you've worked at them.

Amy Chua

#12. I do play tennis, but I don't really like competition. I'm supposed to be so intense, but I hate competition.

Amy Chua

#13. Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately ten times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams. This

Amy Chua

#14. In Chinese culture, it wouldn't occur to kids to question or talk back to their parents. In American culture, kids in books, TV shows and movies constantly score points with their snappy back talk. Typically, it's the parents who need to be taught a life lesson - by their children.

Amy Chua

#15. I do think that maybe, even subconsciously, a lot of parents in the West are wondering, have we gone too far in the direction of coddling and protecting - you know, you see kids, sometimes that seem very rude and disrespectful. And the more important thing is they don't seem that happy.

Amy Chua

#16. I do believe that when your child does poorly on a test, your first step should not necessarily be to attack the teacher or the school's curriculum. It should be to look at the idea that, maybe, the child didn't work hard enough.

Amy Chua

#17. Florence saw childhood as something fleeting to be enjoyed. I saw childhood as a training period, a time to build character and invest for the future.

Amy Chua

#18. Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.

Amy Chua

#19. Some people are just self-motivated - my husband was. I also believe there are many children for whom parental involvement is key.

Amy Chua

#20. I'm not holding myself out as a model, but I do believe that we in America can ask more of children than we typically do, and they will not only respond to the challenge, but thrive.

Amy Chua

#21. My goal as a parent is to prepare you for the future, not to make you like me.

Amy Chua

#22. What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it.
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Amy Chua

#23. I do not think there was anything abusive in my house. Yet, I stand by a lot of my critiques of Western parenting. I think there's a lot of questions about how you instill true self-esteem.

Amy Chua

#24. I think there are many ways to raise great kids. From what I can tell, Ayelet Waldman's kids are interesting, strong, and happy, and if that's the case, that's good parenting.

Amy Chua

#25. I'm willing to be different than other parents and go against the mainstream.

Amy Chua

#26. I was the one that in a very overconfident immigrant way thought I knew exactly how to raise my kids. My husband was much more typical. He had a lot of anxiety; he didn't think he knew all the right choices. And, I was the one willing to put in the hours.

Amy Chua

#27. Questioning authority is, I think, a great thing to instill in children. I just didn't have enough of that when I was little.

Amy Chua

#28. Nothing is fun until you're good at it.

Amy Chua

#29. What the Chinese parent is conveying to the child is not that 'you've got to get A's or else I won't like you.' On the contrary, it's, 'I believe in you so much, I know that you can be excellent.'

Amy Chua

#30. Don't assume your child is weak. If you, the parent, assume that they can't take anymore, what kind of signal are you sending them?

Amy Chua

#31. The Romans thought of themselves as the chosen people, yet they built the greatest army on Earth by recruiting warriors from any background.

Amy Chua

#32. I'm a proud strict mom and, you know, I'm really proud of the two daughters I've raised. And I'm especially proud of my relationship with them. We're very close. I think we're good friends.

Amy Chua

#33. You know, I think it's so ironic that we're calling hard work, striving for excellence, don't blame others, you know, don't give up, that we're calling these, quote, 'Chinese values,' 'cause I always thought of them as American values.

Amy Chua

#34. The Chinese model calls for giving your kids very little choice - and I've come to see that you can go too far with that. On the other hand, I also believe that Western parents sometimes give their young kids too much choice.

Amy Chua

#35. I really feel that most things are difficult at the beginning and they become fun, something you love, only after you've worked at them. Making children do something hard can, in the long run, be a great parental service.

Amy Chua

#36. When my kids wanted to give up on things, I wouldn't let them, and those are lifelong lessons.

Amy Chua

#37. I sort of feel like people are not that honest about their own parenting. Take any teenage household; tell me there is not yelling and conflict.

Amy Chua

#38. I was raised by extremely strict - but also extremely loving - Chinese immigrant parents, and I had the most wonderful childhood! I remember laughing constantly with my parents - my dad is a real character and very funny. I certainly did wish they allowed to me do more things!

Amy Chua

#39. As a purely mathematical fact, people who sleep less live more.

Amy Chua

#40. Every day that you don't practice is a day you're getting worse.

Amy Chua

#41. I saw my parents come over. They were immigrants, they had no money. My dad wore the same pair of shoes, I had some ugly clothes growing up, and I never had any privileges. In some ways, I think the person that I am now, I think it's good that I had that kind of tough upbringing.

Amy Chua

#42. The truth is I'm not good at enjoying life.

Amy Chua

#43. Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything.

Amy Chua

#44. My children grew up with one Western parent. My husband doesn't believe in raising his voice with the kids and we don't spank. They were really raised in a half-Asian family.

Amy Chua

#45. Some people don't need parental commitment, they will still come out great, but for others, parents can be critical in providing moral and academic guidance.

Amy Chua

#46. To be honest, I know that a lot of Asian parents are secretly shocked and horrified by many aspects of Western parenting.

Amy Chua

#47. There's a lot of rudeness and sullen behavior and kids that are very entitled and spoiled, just buy me more stuff. I didn't want to raise kids like that.

Amy Chua

#48. Do you know what a foreign accent is? It's a sign of bravery.

Amy Chua

#49. Both of my girls have very high self-esteem because they were both able to master certain things; I should think that's good for their confidence.

Amy Chua

#50. I worry that by losing my temper so much and being so harsh and yelling so much that, by example, I will have taught my daughters to be that way, and I'm now constantly telling them not to do that.

Amy Chua

#51. Unlike Western parents, reminding my child of Lord Voldemort didn't bother me.

Amy Chua

#52. Once you get to the Enlightenment, the way that powers get to be hyperpowers isn't just by conquest. It's through commerce and innovation. Societies like the Dutch Republic and the United States used tolerance to become a magnet for enterprising immigrants.

Amy Chua

#53. We all want to do the right thing for our children. We all don't know what that is and we all - you know, you won't know until the future.

Amy Chua

#54. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America.

Amy Chua

#55. You can coddle your child and tell them, 'You're the best no matter what.' But in the end, when they go out into the real world, I think it's pretty tough out there and other children are cruel.

Amy Chua

#56. China cannot pull in the best and brightest from all over the world. It's an ethnically defined nation, the opposite of an immigrant nation. You don't see a lot of American engineers trying to be Chinese citizens.

Amy Chua

#57. I think the biggest difference is that I've noticed Western parents seem much more concerned about their children's psyches, their self-esteem, whereas tough immigrant parents assume strength rather than fragility in their children and therefore behave completely differently.

Amy Chua

#58. When my children were young, I was very cocky. I thought I could maintain total control.

Amy Chua

#59. China is doing lots of things right. It's investing in education and R&D, it's opening up, it's more cosmopolitan than it's ever been. I think it's very likely that China will continue to explode economically and certainly become a superpower.

Amy Chua

#60. A Western upbringing tends to stress questioning authority, which is always asking why, why, why.

Amy Chua

#61. You know, parenting is so personal. And we're all afraid that we didn't quite get it right. And it feels like the stakes are so high. By we - what if we made a mistake?

Amy Chua

#62. There's something suspicious about saying, 'I'm just going to leave my child alone and let her pursue her passions.' You know what? I think most 13-year-olds' passion is sitting in front of the TV, or doing Facebook, or surfing the Internet for hours.

Amy Chua

#63. I see my upbringing as a great success story. By disciplining me, my parents inculcated self-discipline. And by restricting my choices as a child, they gave me so many choices in my life as an adult. Because of what they did then, I get to do the work I love now.

Amy Chua

#64. Real self-esteem has to be earned. I also believe in virtuous circles, like, nothing is fun until you are good at it. It is great if you can instill in children the ability to not give up, to have a work ethic.

Amy Chua

#65. I'm suggesting that, ironically, the secret to becoming a world 'hyperpower' is tolerance. If you look at history, you see great powers being very tolerant in their rise to global dominance.

Amy Chua

#66. Everything I've ever done that's valuable is something I was afraid to try.

Amy Chua

#67. Oddly enough, I'm not a particularly judgmental person. I just don't have a lot of filtering when I'm in 'tiger mother' mode. I say what comes into my head.

Amy Chua

#68. Everything I do as a mother builds on a foundation of love and compassion.

Amy Chua

#69. Some parents let their kids sleep at other people's houses, where they drink alcohol, watch TV for hours and God knows what else. But if you say you have to get all A's and practice the violin for two hours, then they consider that abusive. That upsets me.

Amy Chua

#70. But just because you love something, I added to myself, doesn't mean you'll ever be great. Not if you don't work. Most people stink at the things they love.

Amy Chua

#71. You can't invent Google, Facebook or the iPod unless you've mastered the basics, are willing to put in long hours and can pick yourself up from the floor when life knocks you down the first 10 times.

Amy Chua

#72. Be modest, be humble, be simple.Make sure you come in first so that you have something to be humble about.

Amy Chua

#73. Parenting cannot just be one size fits all.

Amy Chua

#74. There are all kinds of psychological disorders in the West that don't exist in Asia.

Amy Chua

#75. I'm a slave to my dogs and go out with them almost every day. They are poorly behaved if they don't run. They really act up.

Amy Chua

#76. All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.

Amy Chua