Quotes For My Boss

#1. I'm not holding Hitler up as a role model, the man was a filthy swine, but as I stood in the suspicious glare of my boss I thought, What would Hitler do?

Anonymous

#2. So you're my boss now," I snap.
"Technically, I'm you're boss's boss's boss."
"And technically, it's gross moral turpitude- the fact that i am fucking my boss's boss's boss."
"At the moment, you're arguing with him." Christian scowls.

E.L. James

#3. I always have my own opinion before my boss says his.

Gerry Geek

#4. Pretty soon, you'll end up being a full-fledged member of my clan. I always knew you would. You'd make an excellent archdemon." His smile dries up. "Too bad I don't care to have you as my boss.

Susan Ee

#5. I know that a Christian should be humble, but against the Pope I am going to be proud and say to him: You, Pope, I will not have you for my boss, for I am sure that my doctrine is divine.

Martin Luther

#6. If I gun down my boss in the carpark after work then he won't be able to terrorise all his other employees and the greater good will have been served.

Rushworth M Kidder

#7. Of course, it took a while to learn all this. Anytime I messed up, my boss would let me know. Right away he'd cuss me out, tell me I was a worthless piece of shit. But I never got pissed at David. In my mind, I thought, I'm better than that and I'll show you. As it happens, that's exactly the

Chris Kyle

#8. Clearly the Secretary of Defense, my boss, would like nothing better than to get Osama bin Laden and to get ... to ensure the complete defeat of al-Qaida, because we know that al-Qaida is planning operations against the United States even as we speak here.

John Abizaid

#9. Well, what I tried to do is to just listen to my voice, because my voice is my boss. She decides.

Cecilia Bartoli

#10. Now the skies could fall
Not even if my boss should call
The world it seems so very small
'Cause nothing even matters at all

Lauryn Hill

#11. What I really wanted more than anything was to put my boss on the floor and stand on his throat and watch him gag.

Scott Carrier

#12. You know what my boss says? He says that skepticism is a good watchdog if you know when to take the leash off.

Rex Stout

#13. I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.

Ellen DeGeneres

#14. I told my boss that I had a book inside of me, and that I needed to get it out even if I had to squeeze it through my vagina. Because that's exactly what the world needs. A book squeezed from my vagina.

Jenny Lawson

#15. My boss seems to think that my hair is gonna fall off & go into the ice cream. This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150mph on the highway on a street bike it doesn't move! What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?

Pauly D

#16. Dad often told me, 'My job is to help my boss do his job and make him look good.' That was my dad's objective. Everything about the way he conducted himself was to communicate support for his superiors and respect for his coworkers. The way he dressed was his starting point in that communication.

Lyle Lovett

#17. In my home, who is my boss? If you ask my wife she'll say certainly not her. She claims that she can't make me do anything and so she's not my boss. I am. I'm pretty sure, maybe.

Morgan Freeman

#18. Beyonce is this massive star, but she's incredibly humble. But it's weird because even though I love her, she's my boss's wife.

Rita Ora

#19. Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship. Any 'abuse' came in the aftermath, when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position,

Monica Lewinsky

#20. You know what I hate about working? Bosses ... The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well ... I think you see the conflict.

Bill Hicks

#21. I don't need a critic to tell me I'm an actor. I make my own way. Nobody's my boss. Nobody's ever been my boss.

Kirk Douglas

#22. Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.

Milton Berle

#23. I didn't toss aside my plan to steer clear of meaningless rebound flings because I can't resist a French maid costume. I didn't say yes to bedding my boss, the woman signing my paychecks, because you showed up at my door looking like a male fantasy. I couldn't resist you." "You

Sara Jane Stone

#24. I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.

Milton Berle

#25. I'm my own boss and my boss is a total ass.

Aisha Tyler

#26. Every day when I get home from work, I feel so frustrated, my boss is a jerk.

Todd Rundgren

#27. Far as I can see, we mostly exist as *ideas* in each other's heads. The way *you* see me. The way my *boss* sees me. The way the *waitress* at Lindy's sees me.

Mike Carey

#28. I'd just thank the people out there who have been with my up-and-down, weird-road, strange career and supported me and stuck with me all these years. I mean, they're my boss. That's what keeps me working.

Johnny Depp

#29. But...was he flirting?
Hmm.
Not sure what I thought of that. A nice office flirt did make the day go faster, but Adam was my boss, not to mention an annoying one, and I was nothing if not professional.
Snort. Yeah. That made me laugh too.

Camilla Chafer

#30. I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him.

Bill Burr

#31. This is a terrible way to travel. I go to meetings my boss doesn't want to attend. I take notes. I'll get back to you.

Chuck Palahniuk

#32. I went to my boss, and I said, 'Look, I'd like to design these ties because I think they could be new.' He said, 'The world isn't ready for Ralph Lauren.' I never forgot that because ... I thought that was a compliment.

Ralph Lauren

#33. My father is my best friend. He's my idol and my boss. We work side by side and spend every weekend together.

Eric Trump

#34. When I do a film, usually I work from my director. That's my boss. The director is interpreting the writer's vision, and we all interpret it, and they create their own vision as well.

Juliette Lewis

#35. Worse than that, however, was the CFO, a dapper-suited, neat-haired new age carapace containing an uninhibited misogynistic bogan, whose actual words to me, in concert with my boss in the same room were: 'To be successful you have to accept that weekends are for families.

Annabel Crabb

#36. Our food is a sign of what we've lost in general. I think if we could start slowing down for food, and rebuilding the quality of our plates, we could start rebuilding what we've lost in our culture. As my boss says, culture starts in the kitchen, not in the opera house.

Rod Dreher

#37. So you went to the doctor. What did he say? - He said I have to start killing people like my boss and my wife. - WHAT? - Well, not in those exact words. He said I need to reduce the stress in my life. But that's exactly the same thing.

Donald Shaw

#38. I get my sticks and go out to the shed, and I pound on that drum like it was my boss's head.

Todd Rundgren

#39. A friend of mine who used to be my boss at ESPN once was asked why sports had exploded the way it had. He said, "Because you can't go to Blockbuster and rent tonight's game." Every night is different in sports. Every day there are different heroes and villains and conversations after the game.

Mike Lupica

#40. Still, that didn't stop the flare of heat from returning to Melody's chest. "You called my boss a b word."
Declan zeroed his gaze on hers. "No, I said she was being one, and she was. To you. And I didn't like it.

Brooklyn Skye

#41. My purpose is to learn. My mission is to serve. My heart is to love. My boss is God and my work is to be me.

Erica McKenzie

#42. I said that additionally, since I was planning to nurse, it be best if you were off the breast before I came back to work.
My boss just looked at me dreamily and said, 'That won't be for sixty years, at least.

Suzanne Finnamore

#43. Every time I call my baby and ask to get a date, my boss says, no dice son, you gotta work late.

Eddie Cochran

#44. You know ... You're still my boss ... Which means ... This is sexual harassment ...
Oh really? I guess I'll have to fire you then.

Lexi Cubbins

#45. I had three stages of knowing Wellington Mara. He was my boss for a long time and he was a father figure. And finally, as we got older, he was my friend.

Frank Gifford

#46. When I was a young prosecutor, I got called to testify against my boss. I could have backed down, but I didn't. I stood up to him. And he fired me for it.

Susana Martinez

#47. The first person besides my mother who believed in me was a man whose last name I never knew. He was my boss, the manager of Swenson's Ice Cream shop.

Mona Simpson

#48. Did you just tell my boss you want to fuck her?

Colleen Hoover

#49. The effective executive, therefore, asks: "What can my boss do really well?" "What has he done really well?" "What does he need to know to use his strength?" "What does he need to get from me to perform?" He does not worry too much over what the boss cannot do.

Peter F. Drucker

#50. That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.

Jimmy Kimmel

#51. I view the director as my boss. I'm the pawn on the chess board. I don't say something to the director easily, because they are my boss.

Jennifer Lawrence

#52. I would figure out, later, how to explain to my boss that, for me, Delia will never be a story, but a happy ending.

Jodi Picoult

#53. If it weren't for my breast cancer, I wouldn't be a 'Today' host. After I got better, I talked to my boss about working on the show. Six months before, I'd have been terrified to go in there and ask for what I wanted. But after what I'd been through, how could I be scared of being told no?

Hoda Kotb

#54. right now." If he had been anybody else I might have hugged him just then, but we were English and he had once been my boss of sorts, so we simply smiled awkwardly at each other. And possibly wished we were somewhere else.

Jojo Moyes

#55. My happiness isn't connected to my husband's or my boss's or my children's behavior. You have control over your own actions, your own well-being.

Michelle Obama

#56. And it [Fight Club novel] was written so general that my father thought I was writing about his father, and my boss thought I was writing about his boss. People really put themselves, you know, in the shoes of the narrator.

Chuck Palahniuk

#57. And then you get some jerk for a boss. And you think, 'I wish God was my boss. That would be awesome. He wouldn't care about my sales sheet. He would care about my soul sheet.' Then you feel a little embarrassed because that was such a low-quality joke.

Jon Acuff

#58. About my boss, Tyler tells me, if I'm really angry, I should go to the post office and fill out a change-of-address card and have all his mail forwarded to Rugby, North Dakota.

Chuck Palahniuk

#59. If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn't want me here either.

James Johnson

#60. The hips were the leaders of this conspiracy. So I rang my boss and held the phone to my hips so he could hear them too.

Cecelia Ahern

#61. My boss is like an angry bear with a sore head and poison ivy up his ass.

E.L. James

#62. The door to my boss's office is always closed now, and we haven't traded more than two words any day since he found the fight club rules in the copy machine and I maybe implied I might gut him with a shotgun blast. Just me clowning around, again.

Chuck Palahniuk

#63. I've had a few intense arguments with my boss who happens to be the object of my sexual fantasies.

J.L. McCoy

#64. Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

Homer Simpson

#65. When I'm on a picture, I have two bosses - the director and the producer. My co-star is not my boss.

Jim Brown

#66. My wife, Jill, and I have an incredibly close working relationship, and an incredibly happy married one. We met through work. I was the world's worst advertising copywriter. She had the misfortune to be my account director, so from the very start she was my boss, and she still is.

Anthony Horowitz

#67. I'm not taking maternity leave from 'Big Brother.' I e-mailed my boss over there this weekend and I said, 'Don't worry. I can still do the show!

Julie Chen

#68. It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world.

Artie Lange

#69. I wanted to tell her that it wasn't my fault, but I stopped myself because I remembered I'd already said that to my boss. That doesn't mean anything. Although actually, everyone is always a little guilty.

Albert Camus

#70. Dex The Dick. Dex The Kind Grump was shoving his tongue down my throat. My boss. Dex. Charlie. The guy who signed my paychecks.

Mariana Zapata

#71. My boss is dictating my preventive hangover care, and I just used the word swords in reference to his obvious cockfight with the man I just made out with in a public hallway. I am truly in an alternate universe.

Lisa Renee Jones

#72. My dad is my best friend, my father, and my boss. When I do something that is exciting and he likes it, it feels three times as good as you can imagine.

David Lauren

#73. My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.

Jay London

#74. contacted my boss for help and he was able to open the door. The door to the bathroom was locked

James Kipling

#75. My boss at Christmas was a lot of fun: "I want you to look in your pay envelopes and you'll know that I keep the Christmas spirit around here. Because in each and every envelope you'll find ... snow."

David Ketchum

#76. I didn't view myself as attacking the boss. I viewed my boss at ESPN as the publisher and president of ESPN.

Gregg Easterbrook

#77. You're not my boss, Alan." He returned to his game. Honestly, my first instinct was to smack the kid, but i doubted that would fly with his parents.

Richard Paul Evans

#78. Take me with you?" she asked, reaching for is arm. He looked back at were the four women stood watching them and shook his head.
"I've seen Piper ruin a whole gaming area, Harper scares me, Elli is my boss, and I want your mom to like me...Sorry babe, you're on your own.

Toni Aleo

#79. Who's Myrnin?"
Claire controlled an urge to roll her eyes. "Badass crazy vampire scientist who's my boss."
"You realize no part of that sentence made sense, right?

Rachel Caine

#80. Dancing is so physical and so athletic. I think it rings to the boy that is in my soul because you get to run and jump and climb and act as aggressively as you'd like.

Stephen Boss

#81. I just let the songs tell me what to do - they are my guides, and they are the boss. So I am subservient to the songs, and I let them tell me what to do. I don't judge them; I just write whatever comes to me.

Valerie June

#82. I'm going to try really hard not to be bossy, but I've only done stand-up comedy and then my own show where you're the total boss of everything!

Rosie O'Donnell

#83. My first professional relationship, I danced with the Parsons Dance Company, and David Parsons, my former boss, allowed me to choreograph on the company.

Robert Battle

#84. Don't forget - Charlie Chaplin too, my friend." "I'd do an imitation, but I don't know what he sounds like." "Hey, not bad, boss. You can open for me in the Catskills.

Dennis Lehane

#85. All right, all right," Avery said and rolled Kane onto his back. There was a time they would have gone again, making sure Kane knew who the real boss was, but not so much anymore. Instead, he looked down at his smiling love. "But I believe I burned a few calories, so can I have my snack now, please?

Kindle Alexander

#86. Katie leaned forward conspiratorially. Oh, sweetie, I just said that because Alice is an old bag. You go after Devon. The man is fine. I don't blame you for changing your look for a shot at that. When the pool about you two gets going at Petie's Pub, I'm putting my money on you.

Susan Meier

#87. Speak what I want, I don't care what y'all feel. 'Cause I'm my own master, my Pop told me be your own boss. Keep integrity at every cost,

Nas

#88. All heat drained from my face. Holy shit. I hadn't even started my new job and already I was insulting my new boss ... right after sleeping with him. I was worse than Sylvie. "So you're - "
My speech eluded me.
"Jett Mayfield, the stingy SOB who just hired you." He held out his palm.

J.C. Reed

#89. This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been happy there. I never went into the boss's office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, 'Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!'

Jane Pauley

#90. On an otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American Dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window.

Larry Correia

#91. I wanted to be my own boss. I was fascinated by airlines and how I could change travel for the average person. Then I wanted to diversify.

Stelios Haji-Ioannou

#92. I'm my own boss, my own editor, my own shooter, my own writer, everything. This is all stuff I learned through trial and error ... failing at a lot of things has taught me how to succeed at them eventually ... you roll with the punches.

Lilly Singh

#93. We're your friends. Your shit became our shit when you drank my tequila and stripped down to your bra.
Boss, Shocking Heaven

D.H. Sidebottom

#94. I want to keep my clients happy, and the pressure's on me as the boss to manage my three assistants and make sure that everything is getting done. There's less time for tears and more time for bossing people around.

Brad Goreski

#95. My wife is the boss at home, and my daughters are the bosses. I am just the worker. We are a very warm family and very happy.

Jet Li

#96. I'm a spoilt brat. I thought I was just going to walk in and make movies. But I'd been my own boss for so long that all of a sudden to be facing a roomful of people who were niggling over every little scene ... I just thought I'd go back and draw my comics and have a happy life.

Frank Miller

#97. My best and worst boss was the same man - my father. He never - and I mean never - took 'I can't' for an answer. He taught me the value system that, to this day, I have continued to practice.

George Steinbrenner

#98. If I'm the boss / parent, why can't I just tell my subordinates / children what to do?

Douglas Stone

#99. The last 16 years of my daddy's life, he got to work for me, and that made him his own boss and he like that.

Buck Owens

#100. I felt sad for my "actual boss" who was too hard-pressed under his mom's weight.

Ankita Kapoor