Top 100 Quotes About Dick
#1. Sitting on my stool I thought of a bumper sticker: If Mean People Suck, Why Isn't My Dick In Your Mouth?
Paul Neilan
#2. She is so feisty I can't decide if I want to squeeze her throat and watch her eyes gloss over with tears, or rip her tiny shorts off and bury my dick inside her, making her scream, making her so fucking dirty she'll never get clean.
Ker Dukey
#3. Ack! I'm blind. Old man dick alert. Cover it up. She protested with her mouth, yet her eyes remained locked on his bare body. He swelled up to an even mightier size. Good grief. Just how big does that thing get? Should I duck and cover before it explodes?
Eve Langlais
#4. We were two people who were attracted to each other and didn't want to be.
Of course there was going to be hostility.
And here I thought he was just a dick.
Samantha Young
#5. Do you prefer to be called Richard or Dick?"
"Ric."
"Dick? I'll make a note of that on your file." I spoke aloud as I wrote. "Patient prefers to be called Dick.
Zathyn Priest
#6. I frowned. "Are you sure about this? It's a bit short." "So? It's poetry, not dick size.
J.L. Merrow
#7. Just because you're thinking about stabbing somebody doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it.
Chris Holm
#8. Sometimes I marveled at how grown-up we'd all become, and then Dick would recite a sixteen-stanza penis-based epic poem, and I'd take it back.
Molly Harper
#9. Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.
Dave Attell
#10. Men would have been badly in trouble if their hands didn't fit their dick.
M.F. Moonzajer
#11. If I was going to have a life of air and nothing, I'd at least like a big fat dick to bounce on.
Alice Clayton
#12. And while you're waiting, go get your whiskers wet and your dick licked. You're a fucking hero; you should take advantage of it." Gich to Jack.
Anne Elizabeth
#13. It's an erectoral vote.... it doesn't mean dick.
Robin Reardon
#14. Men were supposed to be dissociative about sex. Able to turn off their emotions and think with their dick. But Mark had never been like that.
M.J. Arlidge
#15. Ashleigh's a manipulative liar," Jenny said. "She makes Dick Cheney look like Mr. Rogers."
"That is an ugly thing to say about Dick Cheney!" Dr. Goodling snapped. "And my daughter, as well.
J.L. Bryan
#16. Babe, advice. A man expresses his gratitude, you do not throw attitude. You kiss him and, maybe, suck his dick to show your appreciation.
Kristen Ashley
#17. Next time I'll rip your dick off, she muttered, eyes narrowing. Okay, so round two was definitely out for now. Noted.
Joanna Wylde
#18. Being a dick is when you're so self-centered, you think your ideas are pretty much the only worthy ones, and you secretly believe other people are inferior to you. [ ... ] You'd rather believe other people just can't handle how awesome you are. And you're right. All that awesomeness sucks, actually.
Tracy McMillan
#19. He, Dominix Alexander Zubiri, was in love. With a woman who gagged at the thought of sucking his dick. The universe's idea of a colossal joke.
Jianne Carlo
#20. Dick" Counterfly had absquatulated swiftly into the night, leaving his son with only a pocketful of specie and the tender admonition, "Got to 'scram,
Thomas Pynchon
#21. I know you love to suck my dick Hannah, but I'll put it in your mouth when I want it there. You don't give me pleasure, do you understand? I take it from you.
M. Pierce
#22. You know ... acting like a dick ... won't make yours any bigger.
J.L. McCoy
#23. Day grabbed God's hand off his cock and licked the calloused palm from wrist to fingertips before guiding it back to his dick. Holy fuck that was hot.
A.E. Via
#24. Not that it isn't great to see you. But it's not so great for you. What'd you do wrong? Laugh at his dick?
Margaret Atwood
#25. I can't take a dick-measuring contest."
...
"I know Meshack has a big one. And from what I've felt, Zulu is big. Both of your dicks are equally big.
Kenya Wright
#26. If she had to choose something, she'd say it was his build. Women were ingrained to go for the biggest Neanderthal in the village and they didn't come much bigger than Preacher. Disreputable Renegade Souls member. Perpetual Don Juan and swinger of his dick.
V. Theia
#27. Go nuts, girlfriend." He grins, making his face instantly more familiar. "I told 'em we met when we were both looking after Jamie. But I skipped the part about taking off my pants and daring you to find out if Wesley's massage chair would turn my dick into a real-life vibrator.
Sarina Bowen
#28. Peter held up the book he had been reading: 'Moby-Dick; or, The Whale'.
"To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure this is English," Peter said. "It's taken me most of today to get through a page.
Justin Cronin
#29. We were vicious and violent but elegant and discreet. There was a dance to all of this, one that kept all things flowing in the right direction, a circle that ensured the smartest and brightest would stay on top, not the man with the most guns and the smallest dick.
Karina Halle
#30. So you were going to shoot him," Dick says. "That's some badass fucking therapy, you guys. Damn! Strict Freudian, huh?
Michael Chabon
#31. She's an evil vixen. I close my eyes and squeeze my forehead, trying to figure out how I just lost complete control of myself simply because I was kissing her. I think of all the lies that were just passing through my head as my dick tried to convince me she was actually a decent person.
Colleen Hoover
#32. Fuck me hard when you're mad, soft when you're not, bite my dick when I won't listen and deny me until I beg when I'm late or forget something important. But always, always love me?
S.E. Hall
#33. One of Lyle's best assets was also his biggest downfall--he was a big dick.
Tonya D. Floyd
#34. Don't try to be in control and don't speak. The only word you're permitted to say tonight is Mark. I don't want anything else leaving those plump lips of yours. My dick's going in and only my name's coming out... that and my cum.
Aven Jayce
#35. He didn't just want to mate with Becca, he wanted her to orgasm around his dick for a decade.
Kathy Lyons
#36. He doesn't have a soul?" she shrieked, horrified.
"That explains why he's such a dick," Tree muttered.
Rebekkah Ford
#37. That's what my music does for me. It makes people happy. When I play, I thank the Lord I've never seen someone walk away from a Dick Dale dance not having a good time. That's what it's all about.
Dick Dale
#38. There's the typical books, Moby Dick and, I guess in my adult life I began to read biographies more than fiction. I started to want to relate to other people's lives, things that had really happened.
Julius Erving
#39. People don't die from panic attacks. It just doesn't happen. You're body is a dick, but it's not going to let you self-destruct like that. Even though the emotional pain and physical discomfort may be quite unbearable, anxiety will not physically hurt you.
Robert Duff
#40. Exactly; just because I like to suck dick doesn't mean I'm Martha Stewart in the kitchen.
Lisa Worrall
#41. Holy hell," Shawn whispered, his eyes glued to Ziang's front. Particularly to what Ziang didn't have between his legs. "Dude, where's your dick?
M.A. Church
#42. I looked from the gadget-readied spear and body armor to my slender staff of plain old wood and leather duster.
"My dick is better than your dick," I said.
Jim Butcher
#43. His manners could do with some attention.' 'Don't mind him. Big problem.' 'Such as?' 'Small dick.
Terry Newman
#44. I live in a high-rise apartment building, so I just have two cats. They're both pound kitties. One of them, Dick, is an evil, foot-biting cat. When I write a tiger morph, I'm always imagining Dick.
K.A. Applegate
#45. To take so much punctuation in one hit initially sounds audacious, but perhaps the thief thought no one would notice as most readers never get that far into Ulysses - you will recall the theft of chapter sixty-two from Moby-Dick, where no one noticed?
Jasper Fforde
#46. He and Reagan were not at all alike, because Reagan is an optimist and Dick Nixon wasn't. Yet in some ways they were alike. Neither really liked to talk on the telephone, for instance. And, in a lot of respects, both of them were very much loners.
Lyn Nofziger
#47. Remember that there was at least one person who thought Einstein was a colossal dick.
Kelly Williams Brown
#48. Are you saying that you need an attorney? For what? As far as I know, being a dick isn't against the law in any country.
Elle Lothlorien
#49. Once they're in...they stay in. And that little bitch invited that evil into herself like a hard dick on prom night.
Kyle M. Scott
#50. I made a sad little noise. If my dick had been capable of noise, it would have made sad sounds, too.
Thank God it wasn't, or that motherfucker would have never shut up.
Adrienne Wilder
#51. I probably remember more about 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' than Dick Van Dyke does.
Neil Flynn
#53. Dick Clark really didn't make rock 'n roll safe for America, as many people think.
Annette Funicello
#54. At the age of six, the criteria for handsome was simply: "Is he not related to me?" and "Have I seen him on television?" That was it. By this standard, Larry Bird, Dick Clark, and Andy Rooney. All handsome guys.
Mindy Kaling
#55. What you lust for is innocence and this is an impossible equation. Lust and innocence can never be compatible. The ultimate is no longer the ultimate when you've stuck your dick in it.
Karl Ove Knausgard
#56. He's also a dick,' said Achilleus to a scattering of laughter. Maxie saw that even Nicola was trying to hide a smile.
Charlie Higson
#57. I don't like to use the word 'fans;' I call them 'Dick Dale music lovers.'
Dick Dale
#58. You sick fuck. Tear my pants off, prick. See what I got. I'll knock your fucking teeth out with my swinging dick! Last chance... you force yourself into that woman... and I'll force this knife into your dick hole!
Robert Kirkman
#60. See? I'm good for you. I make you like things you didn't before. Like hockey and dick and marshmallows.
Avon Gale
#61. Hey, Jared." "What?" "Did I thank you for this job yet?" "Nope." "Good." "Get to work, dick." Jared coughed his equivalent to a laugh and hung up.
Cristin Harber
#62. Will whistled quietly. 'She sounds fantastic. But I can't imagine why she'd be interested in your dick. With that tiny thing you'll never be half the man your Mother is.',
Christina Lauren
#63. But everyone wanted to be a Big Swinging Dick, even the women. Big Swinging Dickettes.
Michael Lewis
#65. He's like the Energizer Bunny on crack with an amazing dick.
Helena Hunting
#66. I'm always glad to help." His grin was as quick and easy as it was devastating to her panties. "What can I say? I'm a real dick that way.
Avery Flynn
#67. I told him to stop being so bossy.
He told me I sucked bossy dick and never complained unless I wasn't getting my way, so I needed to get over it.
Of course, at this, my head nearly exploded.
Kristen Ashley
#68. It was refreshing to flirt with a woman who didn't think it meant she had to fall on his dick with a missile-seeking vagina.
Olivia Cunning
#69. Dick Cheney and Al Gore have redefined the role of the vice president in the minds of the public. It should be a big job, beyond simply checking the health status of the president.
Chuck Todd
#70. Fuck me," I moan, "right here, right now."
He dives in for another kiss as he lowers the zipper over my hard dick. When he reaches inside my underwear I lean into his hand.
"So hard and so ready," he whispers in my mouth.
"Always for you, Rick.
Candi Kay
#71. George Bush, Dick Cheney, every one of the speakers praised John Kerry's war record. No one said he was unfit. They said he has terrible judgment, and that's his record as a senator. Nobody questioned his military record.
Peter T. King
#72. Name your nation-state, or tribe or party - you have to rationalize what you're doing. You have to go to sleep at night. Does Dick Cheney sleep at night? Does he sleep like a baby?
Martin Donovan
#73. Vice President Dick Cheney reportedly has been disturbed over what he sees as the erosion of presidential powers since the Watergate scandal and has urged Bush to take a stronger stand against what Cheney sees as congressional intrusions into the executive branch.
Helen Thomas
#74. Guys willing to hold your dick are a dime a dozen; save your hearts for the one who wants to hold your hand.
Diane Adams
#75. Bush's choice of Dick Cheney as his running mate is clear confirmation of the policies he would promote and the nominations he would make to an already closely divided U.S. Supreme Court.
Patricia Ireland
#76. Look, man, I get it. We don't do attachments. We depend on something or someone and the system rips it away from us. But Echo's not the system, man. She's a girl who looked like shit yesterday and chased you down when we all decided you should play the dick instead of being her friend.
Katie McGarry
#77. Did I mention I love your nail polish? " I asked.
"You did not, but thank you. Times like this, you gotta have a bright spot. You gotta have something to lighten the mood. Catcher's homemade waffles and enormous dick usually do the trick.
Chloe Neill
#78. And whereas Kenny was being guided toward his Vision by a Holy Person, I had Courtney on my side, armed with a litany of big dick jokes. (Shanna)
Paul Lonardo
#79. The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.
Kurt Vonnegut
#80. You think, you got a dick, you gotta do the work. Make the plays. Give the chase. Fight the good fight. But you're wrong.
Kristen Ashley
#81. The big man grunted heavily again, dick blasting away inside, coating my inner channel with baby batter.
Cassandra Dee
#82. I felt a throb between my legs. I glared down at my Cock. Hold your fucking horses, I muttered. God ... fuck was this seriously my life? Stalking a girl I'd met online, parked outside her house at midnight, speaking to my dick?
M. Pierce
#83. Like my dick at the thought of my wife, I don't want to get up.
Logan Ryan Smith
#84. He shrugged. "occupational hazard of being a research assistant to a total dick".
Sylvain Reynard
#85. Ninja chicken isn't he?" You grinned at me, rolling your sleeves up."We'll see about that."
You reached into the cage. Instantly Dick was onto your hand, clawing at you, biting chunks with his beak.
"Godamn rooster!
Lucy Christopher
#86. Love not the world, the preacher said, and winked his eye, and shook his head;
He seized on Tom, and Dick, and Ned, cut short their meat, and clothes, and bread, Yet still loved heavenly union
Marcus Chatman
#88. Her words travel directly to my dick, passing "Go" on the way. Fuck. This calls for - what did she call them? SHOUTY CAPITALS.
E.L. James
#89. I want you to leave your incidental Dick, and this awful hole, and come to live with me, and die with me, and everything with me.
Vladimir Nabokov
#90. She hadn't really counted on having to measure pedagogic dick length with a whole tribe.
Magnus Flyte
#91. It's a tiny bestseller, but, officially yes. But, hey, most people haven't read Moby-Dick, so why the hell should they read my book?
Richard Linklater
#92. I like what we're doing. I don't want something else right now; will you just focus on the dick in your hand?
Christina Lauren
#93. Detective John Tallow, 1st Precinct."
"You," said Scarly. "I hate you so much my dick is hard.
Warren Ellis
#94. Shit, it's even getting me a little hot. Beside Shayla, Lacey is trying to suck the plastic off her rent-a-dick.
S.L. Jennings
#95. Suddenly he caught his reflection in the mirror behind her. His face was twisted into a dark scowl, and he was standing there naked, with a boner, and another man's business card in his hand.
He looked like a dick.
Sarah Mayberry
#96. Can we get a whiteboard,like on Law and Order?" Andrea asked.
Dick nodded. "I was thinking official 'Keep Jane from Being Murdered Task Force' T-shirts.
Molly Harper
#97. In all, the future secretary of defense and wartime vice president[, Dick Cheney,] would receive five deferments during the Vietnam War, protecting him from service during his draft-eligible years.
Charlie Savage
#98. You realize I'm probably not going to be able to walk tomorrow," she grumbled. Nathan shook his head, but she didn't miss the spark of humor in his gaze before he lowered it briefly. "That's what you get for being difficult to a Dom with a big dick.
Trista Ann Michaels
#99. IT'S HARD TO look dignified with a dick in your mouth.
Dani Ripper
#100. Ray Bradbury was the first author that I was really exposed to back in grade school. I'm a big Philip K. Dick fan, but the emotion and humanity that Bradbury brings to his stories and the way he uses sci-fi to get at the human heart is something that's unique and for me incredibly influential.
Rian Johnson
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