Quotes About Bad Jokes

#1. My parents are really funny. Laughter was a big part of my childhood. Of course, they tell a lot of bad jokes - but so do I. I tell a lot of bad jokes.

Cecily Strong

#2. Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes.

Charles Bukowski

#3. It's tough being a dictator, but I've always thought it must be tougher being a hanger-on to a dictator. The late nights spent listening to his crazed ranting, the weary rictus grin from smiling at bad jokes, the draining knowledge that one misjudged comment could land you on the chopping block.

John Niven

#4. in this society, things you'd think could only be bad jokes actually happen all the time.

Banana Yoshimoto

#5. I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

Sandra Bernhard

#6. That's how we spent the day
drizzling sarcasm over the truth
dropping bad jokes like f-bombs ...

Sarah Tregay

#7. You walked in, with your ridiculous clothes and your bad jokes and your complete inability to ever hide a single thing you felt. You changed my life so much more than this money will ever change yours.

Jojo Moyes

#8. A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.

Zac Efron

#9. She laughed at bad jokes, stayed out too late, and overslept too often. Charity Hill loved holidays and she hated budgets and the alarm clock.

Elizabeth Jane Howard

#10. My life is passed in making bad jokes and seeing them turn into true prophecies.

G.K. Chesterton

#11. The Crimean War is one of the bad jokes of history.

Philip Guedalla

#12. If you're from New Jersey, let people make all those bad jokes about our state. Don't let anyone know how great it is here. It's the best kept secret.

Jon Bon Jovi

#13. Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it.

Jon Stewart

#14. 'The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes me laugh.

David Chase

#15. They say that if you're good at something, never do it for free. But who would pay me to make bad jokes?

Caleb Eversole

#16. The inside jokes weren't jokes anymore. They had become stories. Nobody brought up the bad names or the bad times. And nobody felt sad as long as we could postpone tomorrow with more nostalgia.

Stephen Chbosky

#17. The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.

Robin Williams

#18. I don't do plays without jokes anymore. I've retired from those plays. I think it's bad manners to invite people to sit in the dark for two and a half hours and not tell them the joke.

Bill Nighy

#19. Life, like the boring drunk at the office party, keeps seeking you out, leaning on you, killing you with pointless yarns and laughing bad-breathed in your face at its own unfunny jokes.

Glen Duncan

#20. Some movies run off the rails. This one is like the train crash in The Fugitive. I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies.

Roger Ebert

#21. If we were making a cop comedy about bad cops or cops who were comically bad at the jobs, then the jokes would be more hijinks and more like slapstick.

Daniel J. Goor

#22. Jokes that are gratuitously offensive are synonymous with bad writing to me. I'm offended as a writer first and as a person second.

Rachel Bloom

#23. Okay, that one's pretty good," Fred acknowledged, after she'd told him a particularly filthy joke. "But have you heard the one about the baker's wife?"
"No," Kyra said.
"Rumor has it, she married him for his buns." Fred burst out laughing.
Kyra groaned. "Okay, that was just bad.

Bridget Zinn

#24. It is of first-rate importance to notice from the start that stupidity is not the same thing, or the same sort of thing, as ignorance. There is no incompatibility between being well-informed and being silly, and a person who has a good nose for arguments or jokes may have a bad head for facts.

Gilbert Ryle

#25. I am Hel," she agreed. "Sometimes called Hela, though most mortals dare not speak my name at all. No jokes, Magnus Chase? Who the Hel are you? What the Hel do you want? You look Hela bad. I was expecting more bravado.

Rick Riordan

#26. I think very long and hard about every possibly offensive joke I want to make. I really hate mean humor and would hate to make anyone reading my jokes feel truly bad.

Megan Amram

#27. When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.

Jeff Dunham

#28. Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.'

Ron Funches

#29. If mankind is naturally good, he is sure going against his nature more and more of the time. It sounds like a bad joke: the paranoids are after us.

Herbert Gold

#30. I'm really bad at writing jokes.

Glenn Howerton

#31. I'm really bad with jokes. I would have to say Limp Bizkit.

Brian Molko

#32. I don't think there would be many jokes, if there weren't constant frustration and fear and so forth. It's a response to bad troubles like crime.

Kurt Vonnegut

#33. That's the moment I realized how incredibly lucky I am to have spent eighteen years with a man who can laugh at bad gun-control jokes whole a severed bear head is lying on his pillow.

Jenny Lawson

#34. Awards shows have devolved into self-parodies - liberals in limos, corny insider jokes delivered by the hosts among bad teleprompter reading from the some of the best thespians on the planet.

John Ridley

#35. I used to have a group called Bad-Movie Saturday. Every Saturday, six of us would go see the worst movie that came out each weekend. It'd be noon in Burbank. It was just a running commentary. All executives - we would each talk through the movie and make jokes.

Jason Reitman

#36. If we live inside a bad joke, it is up to us to learn, at best and worst, to tell it well.

Jonathan Raban

#37. Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

Larry David

#38. Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?

George Bernard Shaw

#39. I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to laugh and to feel positive, if you are laughing at something positive. But if you are laughing at mean jokes then it's a wash.

Ellen DeGeneres

#40. Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.

Gilbert Gottfried

#41. It's considered bad form to laugh at your own jokes (especially when they're teensy ones), but some people are so engaging they never have to laugh alone. Chaz

Stephen King

#42. GreenHollyWood is a bad character, fat, liking jokes, liking jokes about size, about the large, about the how big are you. Likes to laugh when you make a mistake, ... but but he is a teacher?! With a glasses a fat guy!

Deyth Banger

#43. Lend's dad, two werewolves, and a vampire. It was like the setup to a bad joke or something. A doctor, two werewolves, and a vampire walk into a bar. "What'll you have?" the bartender asks. "We were thinking him," the vampire answers, eyeing the doctor.
Okay, jokes weren't my strong point.

Kiersten White