Poor Man Funny Quotes

#1. Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

Mariah Carey

#2. That's the way Stravinsky was. Bup, bup, bup, bup. The poor guy's dead now. Play it legato.

Eugene Ormandy

#3. You shut your door to these poor women," he said so they could hear him, "and you'll answer for it the rest of your lives. You won't sleep. You'll choke on drinks. The food you eat'll block up your bowels and you'll die of your own shit.

Glendon Swarthout

#4. Girls, you know it's all just a game to them, relationships. Just go around stomping on everyone ... I mean, look at this poor guy in the background with his collar up. You know he's just gonna get ruined by women.

Robert Pattinson

#5. Poor, dear old Mack, he was ninety-eight per cent perfect. His two percent failing was that he had absolutely no idea of the value or the power of arbitration. He was the veteran of a hundred battles, and I never once could say to the other fellow, 'Your dog started it.

William S. Hart

#6. Now as I look around, it's mighty plain to see,
This world is such a great and a funny place to be.
Oh, the gamblin' man is rich, an' the workin' man is poor,
And I ain't got no home in this world anymore.

Woody Guthrie

#7. I find it funny how I effortlessly combine existential fear with the wish not to be embarrassed. I often think of poor Gregor Samsa first waking up as a bug. This

John Carpmael

#8. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have nothing to play with.

Rodney Dangerfield

#9. I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

Rowan Atkinson

#10. I would make a poor princess,' she said.
'Why?'
'Have you ever wished to be a princess?' Ash challenged her.
'That depends,' Kaisa said.
'On what?'
'On whether I'd have to marry a prince,' she said and her tone was lighthearted, inviting Ash to share her smile.

Malinda Lo

#11. Reaganomics, that makes sense to me. It means if you don't have enough money, it's just because poor people are hoarding it.

Kevin Rooney

#12. Love? Love is for children and poor people...

Molly Harper

#13. 'The Talk-Funny Girl' opens with a glum picture of a desperately poor rural New England family. Poverty has so brutalized the family that the ordinary laws and rules governing humanity have eroded, turning systems of behavior upside down.

Carolyn See

#14. I started down but Sam caught my arm and knelt down himself to look.
"For crying out loud," he said. "It's a racoon."
"Poor thing," I said.
"It could be a rabid baby-killer," Cole told me primly.
"Shut up," Sam said pleasantly.

Maggie Stiefvater

#15. Unhealthy behavior is actually common among doctors, who tend to know a lot about medicine but very little about health.

Sol Luckman

#16. You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people.

Donald Trump

#17. I don't want to die ... I don't want to die poor. Two great motivators in the history of human cultures.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

#18. We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements.

Chic Murray

#19. he hadn't killed or shagged even one single person in front of me - which I felt was a rather good indication of his superior character.

Hettie Ivers

#20. Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul.

William Archibald Spooner

#21. There's a constant flow of child actors. It's kind of funny to watch the new crew come through. I think, You poor little things. You're going to have to struggle for a long time.

Tina Yothers

#22. A poor creature who has said or done nothing worth a serious man taking the trouble of remembering.

Thomas Carlyle

#23. I grew up in a little funny town called Xuzhou, in the countryside, very poor. We didn't have hot water. We were four children: three girls and a boy.

Wendi Deng Murdoch

#24. There are precedents for what happens when societies allow the divide between rich and poor to get so huge that it stops being funny and starts becoming a sick, blood-boiling joke. If you had a Tardis, you could go back to 1917 and ask the Russian royal family how it was all going.

John Niven

#25. You know it's funny, when it rains it pours they got money for wars, but can't feed the poor.

Tupac Shakur

#26. Poor Craw?" Ben retorted. "Poor Rory! Craw and Ari curse worse than a trucker shagging a sailor.

Amy Lane

#27. When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

Rich Hall

#28. It's a funny thing, now; I very often think of my poor wife, but I cannot think of her very much at any one time." "Often, but a little at a time, like poor old Swann," became one of my grandfather's favourite phrases, which he would apply to all kinds of things.

Marcel Proust

#29. No, there is nothing at all funny in poverty - to the poor. It is hell upon earth to a sensitive man; and many a brave gentleman who would have faced the labors of Hercules has had his heart broken by its petty miseries.

Jerome K. Jerome

#30. It's funny, most people think that revenge is a passionate affair, driven by rage and pain. But it can't be. Feelings such as those make you weak. They overwrite thought and cause reckless impulses that lead to poor decisions.

Carrie Ryan

#31. The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

Bill Vaughan

#32. I reach up and pat them both on the head. Poor things. If you had a boy that looked like Logan, you'd be kissing him every chance you had, too.

C.J. Redwine

#33. It's not funny at all that we do all that advertising for children. Why is advertising for children allowed? What possible reason can there be for having those effing adverts on TV for all this crap that's made by poor people in poor countries that we sell our children who have too much?

Emma Thompson

#34. You know your all fucks! why am i so dichable? now how am i supposed to kill you with out upseting that poor nice women!? God damnit alice i liked you why did you have to be such a bitch

Carrie Vaughn

#35. The Islam of the 18th, 19th and first half of the 20th century was a poor thing. Nobody bothered about it. Islam was that funny sort of pure system of beliefs that depressed people in the Middle East held as their religion.

John Keegan

#36. I had aimed at Mars and was about to hit Venus; unquestionably the all-time cosmic record for poor shots.

Edgar Rice Burroughs

#37. I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations, it gives them hope in their own life.

Lalu Prasad Yadav

#38. Regular people are used to rudeness; we get it all the time, we're inured to it. The wealthy aren't; it hurts their feelings, or whatever they have in there.

Michael Cleverly

#39. That one doesn't count. The poor scoundrel is deaf, but he makes a fine sniffer. How do you think we found you?

H.S. Crow

#40. She's not pretty. Little, funny Fernie. She's not pretty. Poor Fernie.

Amy Harmon

#41. When I was a kid we were so poor, if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

Rodney Dangerfield

#42. But if someone calls me 'poor thing' one more time, I may go postal and kill everyone around me. Except children and dogs. And old people. And you. And Connor. Fine, I won't kill anyone. But it's driving me crazy.

Kristan Higgins

#43. You're sure you didn't leave? Didn't try to explore Thunder Bay again, maybe go down to the park and, I don't know, dismember some poor jogger?

Kendare Blake

#44. You even used to make up funny stories about those poor little lost creatures of yours. Remember Bob, the squirrel banker who forgot to pay his electric bill so he froze to death?

Kimberly Derting

#45. It's been so many years since I actually had a date that I've forgotten how to act. You don't mention your ex when you've finished fucking your date; it's poor protocol

Scarlet Blackwell

#46. You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.

Craig Ferguson

#47. I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it.

Yogi Berra

#48. I lost my virginity under a bridge. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at a World Cup - just pleased to be there.

Russell Howard

#49. Funny how people want a return to the good ole days. Of coarse the good ole days of being a rich white plantation owner. Everyone seems to forget the poor white farmer.

Rita Mae Brown

#50. He really needed to stop being so hot while his hands were on me.

Veronica Blade

#51. It's so funny you judge me arrogant after I succeeded.
You didn't help me at all when I was so poor and needy.

Toba Beta

#52. Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

Rodney Dangerfield

#53. My father was really good with math. It's a funny thing, I don't remember my father or my mother being so mechanical-minded. My father always wanted to be a doctor, but he came from a really poor family in Georgia, and there was no way he was going to be a doctor.

Herbie Hancock

#54. I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.

Frankie Boyle

#55. Mellon is thirteen," Raisa said. "I hope you have experience babysitting, Micah, because you're going to need it. Assuming the Demonai don't assassinate you first. Married at thirteen, widowed at fourteen. Poor Mellony.

Cinda Williams Chima