Top 100 Oven Quotes
#3. 'I'm sorry,' guys are always telling women, 'but I'm just not ready to make a commitment.' Guys are in a permanent state of nonreadiness. If guys were turkey breasts, you could put them in a 350-degree oven on July Fourth, and they still wouldn't be done in time for Thanksgiving.
Dave Barry
#4. Without the baggy clothes or oven mitts, she looked less like a cute young housewife and more like something that had crawled out of Hell.
S.M. Reine
#5. Prepare yourself, I'm taking bread out of the oven.
Don't tease me, woman ... zucchini? Cranberry orange.
Mmmm ... No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do.
Alice Clayton
#6. I just want to be entertained. The stories that have aged the best are the ones where the wolf eats grandma, or the woman is going to bake children in an oven, or the bear is going to eat the girl for eating the porridge. There are lessons in there, but they're deeply engrained and hidden.
Drew Daywalt
#7. The most important thing for having a party is that the hostess is having fun. I'm very organized. I make a plan for absolutely everything. I never have anything that has to be cooked while the guests are there. The only thing I might have to do is take something out of the oven and carve it.
Ina Garten
#8. I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to stay in the oven when trying to fathom the creative philosophy behind the greatest artistic minds of the world?
E.A. Bucchianeri
#9. Without missing a beat he said, "This year, Santa, I'd like a pony and an Easy-Bake Oven."
Raja grunted and pushed him off to the side. "You'll be getting coal in a place where it hurts if you ever attempt to sit in my lap again.
Karsten Knight
#10. But to me it sounded like someone throwing a roll of paper towels and a can of frosting into an oven and saying, You know, I think there's a good chance of this turning into a cake.
Lisa Kleypas
#11. I miss my mother very much, and I feel closest to her when I have dinner in the oven and the children are nearby playing and I'm reading a book or doing some little project.
Caitlin Flanagan
#12. Pre-heat the oven? Really? If I was the sort of person who planned ahead, I wouldn't be eating this Totino's Party Pizza in the first place.
Adam Peterson
#13. The household I grew up in ... was rather like an Ovaltine advert. There was a huge fire, a kettle on the fire, the oven with the bread being baked every day, and there was the radio; it was very magical to hear all these wonderful programmes.
Brian Blessed
#14. My kitchen has a wood-burning oven, a large worktable, and windows all around, including one above the sink. I think whoever is washing the dishes needs to have a lot of beauty around.
Alice Waters
#15. But I will place this carefully fed pig Within the crackling oven; and, I pray, What nicer dish can e'er be given to man.
Aeschylus
#16. Any dutch oven will work fine - just make sure you can cover the pan with a secure lid to seal.
Chad Robertson
#17. I can do basics, but I'm not a proper cook. I can do a roast. I can stick a chicken in the oven with vegetables.
Lesley Nicol
#18. The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds.
James Randi
#19. There was just a beautiful, unearthly silence. He thought of the wood and the bluebells, the owl and the fox, a Hornby train trundling around his bedroom floor, the smell of a cake baking in the oven. The skylark ascending on his thread of song. F-Fox
Kate Atkinson
#20. She gave her a long embrace, like pie baking in the warmth of an oven.
Meghna Pant
#21. In the supermarket Harry had bought a pizza grandiosa which he heated in the oven. He thought how odd it was to be sitting in Sweden, eating Italian food made in Norway.
Jo Nesbo
#22. Just, you know, you can't put bread in a cold oven. You know, you've got to take your time. You've got to heat it up. So that's what, that's what I like to do with my music. I like to build it, and build it into a maddening, exciting crescendo.
Isaac Hayes
#23. I'm more like an oven than a microwave,
Erykah Badu
#24. A good conscience is a continual feast, but a galled conscience is as great a torment as can possibly happen, a still baking oven (so Pierius in his Hieroglyph compares it), another hell.
Robert Burton
#25. Twas the night before Thanksgiving.
All the food's in the oven.
And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.
Craig Ferguson
#26. She said Mom closed up the house one day, turned the oven on full, and sat by its open door. Apparently it's still a Cry For Help, even though our oven's electric.
D.B.C. Pierre
#27. They had kilts on instead of pants, but you just didn't see six feet-plus of immortal warrior panicking about anything often, but panicking in a kitchen with pots in their hands and the oven open while they peered inside in a puzzled manner was a very special and endearing type of panic.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#28. Whenever I hear about the woman's trip, which is often, I think a lot about nothin'-says-lovin'-like-something-from-the-oven and the Feminine Mystique and how it is possible for people to be the unconscious instruments of values they would strenuously reject on a conscious level,
Anonymous
#29. I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Steven Wright
#31. This we had to endure with a serious reduction in the price of goods - added to this early in the ensuing spring our glost oven fell while firing doing us considerable damage and rendering it necessary to build a new one.
John Hawley
#32. Raising children is like baking cookies at high altitudes. The recipe doesn't work. You must open the oven door and keep checking on the cookies.
Margaret Aranda
#33. I cast my hook, my vote against it,
I decide to make peace.
I declare this intention but nothing answers.
And so I put peace in a warm place, towel-covered, to proof,
then into an oven. I wait.
Peace is patient and undemanding, it surpasseth.
Jane Hirshfield
#34. The kitchen oven is reliable, but it's made us lazy.
Jamie Oliver
#35. Where's the ice cream?"
"In the oven.
E.L. James
#36. Tim Henman has the all-time Betty Crocker draw. We're talking Easy Bake Oven.
Brad Gilbert
#37. I always give my bird a generous butter massage before I put it in the oven. Why? Because I think the chicken likes it
and, more important, I like to give it.
Julia Child
#38. There are so many family dinners you can do. I eventually had to go to them and say, 'Look, I don't do spatula work. I don't do scenes with oven mitts. If you're looking for that, you've got the wrong guy. I'm not doing scenes about casseroles. It's not happening.
Rob Lowe
#39. Again, Pyotr knew a pang. He saw her heavy with child, bowed over an oven, sitting before a loom, the grace gone...
Katherine Arden
#40. How terrible to be alcoholic. You just want to quietly soothe and maybe poison yourself, but you end up poisoning those around you as well, like trying to commit suicide with a gas oven and unwittingly murdering your neighbors.
Jonathan Ames
#41. My girl has got a bun in her oven, and I guess you know who did the damn cooking.
Stephen King
#42. Cat can have kittens in the oven, girl, but that won't ever make em muffins.
Stephen King
#43. I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.
Amy Sedaris
#44. We all had our collective heads in the oven.
A.S. King
#45. My eighth-grade year, I was home-schooled. I'd basically wake up, go to the gym in the morning, do a little bit of school, go to practice, do a little more school, then go back to practice. My mom had a crockpot and a mini traveling oven, so we'd be cooking and eating dinners at the gym.
Jacob Dalton
#46. Let it them be put into any clean oven vessel of china or stoneware which should be wider at the top than at the bottom. so that there may be the largest surface above to favor the evaporation.
James Lind
#47. One fine day as my mother was putting the bread in the oven, I went up to her and taking her by her flour-smeared elbow I said to her, Mama I want to be a painter.
Marc Chagall
#48. Mitch's Pizzaria ... this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza locations. Free pizza oven with purchase of a small Coke. Two-for Tuesday: buy one pizza, get one franchise free.
Mitch Hedberg
#49. If you throw a lamb chop in the oven, what's to keep it from getting done?
Joan Crawford
#50. Remember, it's very simple to have an oven tested professionally, and it only takes about five minutes.
Delia Smith
#51. I love roasting because you can give it love, get it in the oven and go and play with the kids or whatever you've got to do, and then hours later you've got a lovely dinner.
Jamie Oliver
#52. If our cover breaks in here, we're toast. Worse that toast, we're the crappy crumbs of carbon left at the bottom of a toster oven that I haven't cleaned out in three months.
Michael R. Underwood
#53. I am still in love with couture because it is just two months from drawing pad to runway so everything on the catwalk is hot from the oven.
Christian Lacroix
#54. Sometimes, when Bridget was in a particularly melodious mood, Sophie thought about stalking downstairs and pushing her into the oven like the with in 'Hansel and Gretel.
Cassandra Clare
#55. Q: Why did the bride wear white? A: Because the groom wanted his dishwasher to match his fridge and oven.
Various
#56. I've got nine kids, nine dogs, three grandkids - and one in the oven. And three parrots!
Michael Landon
#57. Martin took the same course, thinking as he went, that perhaps the free and independent citizens, who in their moral elevation, owned the colonel for their master, might render better homage to the goddess, Liberty, in nightly dreams upon the oven of a Russian Serf.
Charles Dickens
#58. It's okay to keep a broken oven in your yard as long as you call it art.
Jenny Lawson
#59. Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.
Lemony Snicket
#60. I guess I'm supposed to sit here in this oven like it's 1950, hoping I don't go to hell for stealing a church fan.
K. Martin Beckner
#61. I figured if I hoped hard enough, you wouldn't stand a chance, that even if you were straight, you'd succumb to my sparkling charm and wit and you'd convert just for me."
I almost choked on the last sip of my wine. "And you'd win the toaster oven," I teased.
"Yes,
Eva Indigo
#62. On the morning the last Lisbon daughter took her turn at suicide - it was Mary this time, and sleeping pills, like Therese - the two paramedics arrived at the house knowing exactly where the knife drawer was, and the gas oven, and the beam in the basement from which it was possible to tie a rope.
Jeffrey Eugenides
#63. You are free, but you have to choose. An open oven bakes no bread
Paulo Coelho
#64. Orphans, dead parents, lonely children at Christmas, morose spoken word recordings, everything you love about the holidays. Move the turkey over so you can fit your head in the oven.
April Winchell
#65. With optimism, you look upon the sunny side of things. People say, 'Studs, you're an optimist.' I never said I was an optimist. I have hope because what's the alternative to hope? Despair? If you have despair, you might as well put your head in the oven.
Studs Terkel
#66. I have 10 children. I've got my eighth grandchild in the oven with Kimberly. I have all these wonderful kids.
Caitlyn Jenner
#67. That's why when I met a woman whose house always smells like there's a cake in the oven, who holds tight and presses her tits to my back when she's with me on my bike, who looks at me like I can make the rest of the world melt away and for her its only me, I know I wanna hold onto that woman.
Kristen Ashley
#68. We invited that nice young man, Dave Brewer, who swindled all those people out of their houses, Grandma said, pulling a meatloaf out of the oven.
Janet Evanovich
#69. Households that have lost the soul of cooking from their routines may not know what they are missing: the song of a stir-fry sizzle, the small talk of clinking measuring spoons, the yeasty scent of rising dough, the painting of flavors onto a pizza before it slides into the oven.
Barbara Kingsolver
#70. Like an airplane, an oven, or an elevator, Faebook is a tool that can make life's To-Dos fun and easy.
Carolyn Abram
#71. If you remember nothing else, remember this: Inspiration from outside one's self is like the heat in an oven. It makes passable Bath buns. But inspiration from within is like a volcano: It changes the face of the world.
Alan Bradley
#72. I get really cool gifts, and I know this sounds really lame, but I think one of the best gifts I've ever received was the Easy Bake Oven when I was younger. When I was little, I loved to bake! I want to get one now so I can make weird mini desserts for people.
Ashley Benson
#73. I often say to prospective clients, 'Nothing will age faster than your hardware.' Even the thinnest touch screen will look like a toaster oven in a number of years.
Jake Barton
#74. My mother began to go crazy. Not in a 'Let's paint the kitchen red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwhich, I am God' sort of way.
Augusten Burroughs
#75. How many times have you been watching an episode of 'South Park' and thought, 'I'd like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?'
Trey Parker
#76. Manuelo: Have another muffin. They're still warm from the oven.
Chloe: My life is a mess, Manuelo. Another muffin isn't going to help.
Manuelo: It can't hurt.
Megan Stine
#77. Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.
Gracie Allen
#78. The Clean Oven Domestic Ltd is Family rum company and uses the non-caustic and environment friendly material for cleaning services.
Clean Eating
#79. Basting is evil. Basting does nothing for the meat. Why? Skin. Skin is designed to keep stuff out of the bird, so basting just lets heat out of the oven. That means the turkey will take longer to cook ... so don't touch that door!
Alton Brown
#80. We've got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden - a luxury, I know, but it's one of the best investments I've ever made.
Gwyneth Paltrow
#81. Oh no! No, you didn't! You done had a buffet and you didn't invite the Simi, for shame on you akri-Caleb! You a mean demon boy! You off the Simi Christmas list for that! No oven mitt for you! Bad, bad demon, bad! Simi
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#82. Downstairs in the kitchen, Marco and Sophia - my grandparents, who have insisted I call them by their first names - were already there. Sophia stood over the oven, pans hissing, as the smell of bacon filled the air. Marco sat at the table, the morning newspaper opened up in front of him.
Jessica Sorensen
#83. Baking was a science, precise, just mix it all together and let the oven do the work. But actually cooking, she couldn't cook a tasty meal if her life depended on it.
Allie Burke
#84. Parenting is a bit like baking a cake. You put all the right stuff in and do exactly what your mother wrote in the recipe but when you look away for just a second, someone bounces in front of the oven and you end up with something unexpected.
K.T. Bowes
#85. I'll put an oven mitt on before I handle anything hot - including my penis.
Jarod Kintz
#86. Mr. Greer timed all our speeches with an oven timer. Things were nothing at Tribeca Alternative, considered one of Manhattan's finest prep schools, if not high tech.
Meg Cabot
#87. So if you are what you eat and you are as young as you feel, then I am a pizza, right out of the oven.
Tom Althouse
#88. He dusted the dough with cumin and coriander and salt before he slid the loaves into the oven on flat wooden boards. Perhaps most important,
Alice Hoffman
#89. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
Kahlil Gibran
#90. My baby is weird man ... when he get mad, he gets in the oven.
Kevin Hart
#91. When a potter bakes a pot, he checks its solidity by pulling it out of the oven and thumping it. If it "sings" it's ready. If it "thuds," it's placed back in the oven. The character of a person is also checked by thumping. Been thumped lately?
Anonymous
#92. We are a nation that shouts at a microwave oven to hurry up.
Joan Ryan
#93. I don't exactly know what it means to be ready. A cake when the oven timer goes off? Am I fully baked, or only half-baked?
Jessica Savitch
#94. The last time I had PMS a roast chicken popped out of the oven and danced the Macarena.Krebs had walked in just as the chicken started dancing. By then he was pretty much used to anything and only asked if the chicken shouldn't be doing the Chicken Dance instead.
Linda Wisdom
#95. Eating something fresh out of the oven is like a hug you can taste.
Regina Brett
#97. My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.
Tracy Morgan
#98. R. Elazar says it is enough if the bottom crust is formed. The Passover sacrifice may be turned around in the oven (on Friday) when it is getting dark. In the heating-house of (the sanctuary) the fire was fed at eventide.
Anonymous
#99. My favorite comfort food would have be braised beef. You know, beef, slow-cooked in a Dutch oven or in a slow cooker until it falls apart with simple mushrooms, some onions and lots of fresh thyme and garlic.
Tyler Florence
#100. I thought I was raptured up into the air today; turns out, it was just my gas oven exploding.
Emo Philips
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