Top 100 Nun Quotes
#1. A drunk staggers out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, "You're not so tough now, are you, Batman?
Various
#2. Being a nun wasn't all it was cracked up to be and the sex was shit.
Warren Ellis
#3. It's always a good idea to have a nun next to you when you get arrested!
Shane Claiborne
#4. I tried to imagine what Jesus had said to woo that young slut, the first nun.
Rion Amilcar Scott
#5. Anni, amori e bicchieri di vino, nun se contano mai."' '"Years, lovers and glasses of wine; these things must not be counted.
Anthony Capella
#6. He's got the kind of body that could turn a nun into a whore.
Brooke Moss
#7. You're handsome and you have a nice accent, and a chest that would make a nun perspire.
Katie MacAlister
#8. Hey, controlling a zombie horde is hard work. I'd punch a nun for a cheeseburger right about now.
Jaye Wells
#9. Almost everyone has or will experience getting dumped in their lifetime. Unless, of course, you're a nun. Jesus can't dump nuns.
Jenny McCarthy
#10. I sometimes think I was born to live up to my name. How could I be anything else but what I am having been named Madonna? I would either have ended up a nun or this.
Madonna Ciccone
#11. I'd go down in history for being the most revealing nun ever!
Foxy Brown
#12. the seventeenth-century saint, Margaret Marie Alacoque, a French nun of Parayle-Monial, who founded the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Margaret would deliberately eat cheese knowing that it made her vomit, and by her own admission she ate the vomit of sister nuns.
John Cornwell
#13. Yes, there was a nun in my bed," Nora said with a sigh.
"This is my favourite story already," Kingsley said. "Go on.
Tiffany Reisz
#14. THE GAMBLER,THE NUN & THE RADIO
If I live long enough the luck will change.
Ernest Hemingway,
#15. Jezebel the nun, who violently knits ...
Bob Dylan
#16. She told me not to even try. Said you were ... as frigid as a nun and as cold as ice. That one actually stung.
Jennifer Ashley
#17. It is a beauteous evening, calm and free,
The holy time is quiet as a Nun Breathless with adoration.
William Wordsworth
#18. I should've been a nun, he says, half aloud, as his feet leave the ledge.
Dale McGowan
#19. God's penis would still rank high among those vistas a priest and a nun could not comfortably share.
James K. Morrow
#20. I have terrible handwriting. I now say it's a learning disability ... but a nun who was a very troubled woman hit me over the fingers with a ruler because my writing was so bad.
Andrew Greeley
#21. I had me one sharp knife, a throwback to my glory days of the swans, and it's sharp as a nun on her second sherry.
Ken Bruen
#22. One eminently orthodox Catholic divine laid it down that a confessor may fondle a nun's breasts, provided he does it without evil intent.
Bertrand Russell
#23. I am Albanian by birth. Now I am a citizen of India. I am also a Catholic nun. In my work, I belong to the whole world. But in my heart, I belong to Christ.
Mother Teresa
#24. I don't have a life, I really don't. I'm as close to a nun as you can be without the little hat. I'm a golf nun.
Gabrielle Reece
#25. She was my first crush. The first woman I ever masturbated about. My first Mrs. Robinson-like, older-woman fantasy. Sister Mary Beatrice Dugan. Yep, you heard me right - she's a nun. But not just any nun, kiddies. Sister Beatrice was a NILF. I don't need to spell that one our for you, do I?
Emma Chase
#26. THE GAMBLER,THE NUN & THE RADIO
Yes, and music is the opium of the people.
Ernest Hemingway,
#27. What news? There's nothing to tell. I'm a nun.
Ken Follett
#28. Years professed nun, nurse and midwife in the East
Jennifer Worth
#29. His face was uniquely slapable - a nun would have ached to punch him - while his backside cried out to heaven for a well-placed kick.
Jonathan Stroud
#30. Everybody has fishes in their stomach so does Jiko. But the biggest fish of all belonged to Haruki#1 and it was more like a whale. After she has become a nun, she learned how to open up her heart so that the whale could swim away.
Ruth Ozeki
#31. I wanted to be a nun. I saw nuns as superstars. When I was growing up I went to a Catholic school, and the nuns, to me, were these superhuman, beautiful, fantastic people.
Madonna Ciccone
#32. She is only a young woman who did not want to become a nun. The world is full of them.
Sarah Dunant
#33. I truly believe that God brought this, Dorothy Day script to me, because for a long time up until I was in eight grade - I wanted to be a nun.
Moira Kelly
#34. Can a recovering alcoholic and a nun be happy together? Stay tuned.
Danielle Steel
#35. I'd heard a Catholic nun on TV once saying that bearing suffering was the route to grace. I remembered Fluff saying: If there's a God he's addicted to faith. Because without evil there's no need for faith. I can't get excited about a God who's divinity depends on a drug habit.
Glen Duncan
#36. THE GAMBLER,THE NUN & THE RADIO
I do not follow you.
Many times I do not follow myself with pleasure.
Ernest Hemingway,
#37. Clothes are a kind of uniform. A nun's habit, a surgeon's scrubs, a cop's uniform. People often say that when they put on a certain uniform, they actually think of themselves differently.
Victor LaValle
#38. He always had a different girlfriend and you could tell they were all easy but a nun would turn easy at one look at Luke.
Kristen Ashley
#39. If you stand off to the side, all mopey and such, without a date, you'll stick out like a nun at a strip club.
Brodi Ashton
#40. In the beginning we all feel a bit like imposters in our capes and veils and being called 'sister'. But don't worry about it
just act like you think a nun should when you're not sure what to do, and you'll find that through grace and love you become one.
Mark Salzman
#41. They're [zombies] us, you can also have the wrestler zombie, the clown zombie, the Jay Leno zombie and the nun zombie. I've never seen the clown werewolf or vampire. But because zombies are us, at the lowest possible level, they're a lot more versatile for storytelling.
Tom Savini
#42. She looks sort of like a nurse, Ruby thought. Or a nun, but a movie star nun, not a real one, and an old-fashioned rescuing-the-orphans sort of movie star nun, not the comedy sort. It was her face. It was open and fresh and happy and she had shiny dark hair pulled back in a ponytail.
Sarah-Kate Lynch
#43. Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!"
Dylan Moran
#44. People simplify 'Apollonian' into 'mild', and 'calm', and 'cool'. But 'Apollonian' and 'Dionysian' are two sides of one coin
a nun kneeling in her cell, holding perfectly still, can be in ecstacy more frenzied than any priestess of Pan Priapus celebrating the vernal equinox.
Robert A. Heinlein
#45. A nun I know once told me she kept begging God to take her character defects away from her. After years of this prayer, God finally got back to her: I'm not going to take anything away from you, you have to give it to Me.
Anne Lamott
#46. People wanted me to be like the Madonna, the white nun, you know, and that's not me. But I'm no villain.
Mary Beth Whitehead
#47. Celibacy doesn't make you enlightened, otherwise every nun or priest in Buddhism or Christianity would be enlightened. People who don't date and can't get any action would be enlightened.
Frederick Lenz
#48. The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun.
Ellen DeGeneres
#49. So, you got shit-faced, spray-painted a barn with a lovely shade of Exorcist-green puke, fucked a donkey while you were there, and started a fist fight with a recovering, meth-addicted nun and her lovechild who were reenacting the nativity scene?
Kendall Grey
#50. A woman could be having fun A woman could be like a nun In order to survive We cannot be kind Until we are hurt
Ayumi Hamasaki
#51. Luke-freakin'-Holtz. Damn. To bad I didn't meet him two months ago. Right now, I can't imagine dating anyone ever again. I'm going to become a nun.
Veronica Blade
#52. Christians - whether as a priest, a nun, a minister, whatever - have just been stereotyped to death. You try to be a model of kindness and love and forgiveness to all those around you, because you have received kindness and love and forgiveness from God through Christ. That's what Christianity is.
Patricia Heaton
#53. The monk, Gregory the Great, tells how a nun, in her greed, ate a lettuce without first making the sign of the cross to protect herself against the evil spirits that hide between its leaves, and so she became possessed by a demon. Greetwell
Karen Maitland
#54. My first three-sisters novel in a while, 'Sandcastles' tells the story of the Sullivan family - two passionate artists and their three wildly different daughters. There's also a renegade nun and a mystery man, but I don't want to give too much away!
Luanne Rice
#55. In her view, there were three
options for a woman. If you were beautiful, you got married. If you
were ugly, you became a nun. If you were beautiful and stupid, or
ugly and dishonorable, you became a whore.
Nenia Campbell
#56. All my life I had feared imprisonment, the nun's cell, the hospital bed, the places where one faced the self without distraction, without the crutches of other people.
Edna O'Brien
#57. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of my body, I just don't see any reason to not cover it up as much as possible ... I'm someone who considered becoming a nun, for the outfit.
Julia Sweeney
#58. I loved nuns when I was growing up. I thought they were beautiful. For several years I wanted to be a nun. I saw them as really pure, disciplined, above average people. They had these serene faces. Nuns are sexy.
Madonna Ciccone
#59. Why the hell was the nun dancing onstage?"
R.S. Grey
#60. Sweating like a fat woman in a sauna, nun with a tattoo on her tit, overweight jockey.
Dennis Vickers
#61. You stupid chick ... nun ... whatever. I'm a tenth-degree black belt in Korean Karate!" "But you don't have the power of God, you uncircumcised philistine!
James Scott Bell
#62. THE GAMBLER,THE NUN & THE RADIO
I never carry a gun. With my luck, if i carried a gun I would be hanged ten times a year.
Ernest Hemingway,
#63. Look, Nik, I know you don't like public scrutiny lately. If you stand off to the side, all mopey and such, without a date, you'll stick out like a nun at a strip club." He leaned in. "Trust me, I've seen one. A nun at a strip club, that is. Everyone was staring at her.
Brodi Ashton
#64. It hurts me when I see a priest or a nun with the latest model car, you can't do this. A car is necessary to do a lot of work, but please, choose a more humble one. If you like the fancy one, just think about how many children are dying of hunger in the world.
Pope Francis
#65. Whether we are describing a king, an assassin, a thief, an honest man, a prostitute, a nun, a young girl, or a stallholder in a market, it is always ourselves that we are describing.
Guy De Maupassant
#66. Old age is a disease from which there is no recovery but the old nun's recent attack had certainly been brought on chiefly by the fatigue of so much travelling.
Murasaki Shikibu
#67. Catholic media sucks. It's boring. It's for old people. It's not interesting. It's like you're in a class with an 80 year old nun.
Lino Rulli
#69. Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.
Amy Sedaris
#70. I, the ordinary restless child, the plain adolescent, the commoner who had been a nun twice, would prove to be a Daughter of Heaven.
Shan Sa
#71. I have a spaniel that defrocked a nun last week. He took hold of the cord. I had hold of the leash. It was like elephants holding tails. Imagine me undressing a nun, even second hand.
E.B. White
#73. In high school I was voted the girl most likely to become a nun. That may not be impressive to you, but it was quite an accomplishment at the Hebrew Academy.
Rita Rudner
#74. You know who you are. If my mother is a nun and someone comes up to me and they go, 'Your mother is a prostitute.' It is not going to bother me, because I know my mother is a nun, she's not a prostitute.
Paul Mooney
#75. I've been a nun. A Catholic nun.
JWoww
#76. Welcome to the real world Kerri. Shit happens. You don't get to stop it by being a nun or telling the truth or turning counter clockwise three times while facing the sun and clucking like a chicken. It's a crapshoot and sometimes you lose.
Susan Mallery
#77. Most of the people who have verbally asserted that 'there is no master of pronounciation' have intentionally made a claim and unintentionally made their claim believable. (It is 'pro-nun-ciation' not 'pro-noun-ciation'.)
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#78. My manager wants me to dress like a nun and I want to dress like a teenager.
Anna Kournikova
#79. Believe it or not, I have this recurring dream about church and a nun.
Hank Moody
#80. You can love one man and leave another and love a man and still leave him and leave a man without ever loving him, you can fuck everybody you meet or live like a nun and in the end you still wind up at Target.
Kim Wright
#81. Maybe I'll even become a nun and swear off boys forever."
Scarlet turned to study me. "No. Your face wouldn't be good in a habit.
Gabrielle Zevin
#82. A nun of winter's sisterhood kisses not more religiously; the very ice of chastity is in them.
William Shakespeare
#83. THE GAMBLER,THE NUN,& THE RADIO
I thought the pain alone would kill me
Ernest Hemingway,
#84. The Bagshaws?
They didn't know she was a nun!
Ally Carter
#85. It was twelve years ago. Can you give me one good reason why we should dredge all of that up tonight?"
"I can," Kingsley said. "Because you fucked a nun.
Tiffany Reisz
#86. There. But as they were in a public place and as she was dressed like a nun, he refrained. "Come, hurry!" he said
Christopher Buckley
#87. All nuns, by the very fact of their monastic profession, are exceptional people. No ordinary woman could live such a life. There must inevitably be something, or many things, that are outstanding about a nun.
Jennifer Worth
#88. Worst was this boy Billy Hill, he was in school with me. When the nun called out his name she done it last name first, so it come out Hill, Billy. Can you imagine that? Hillbilly.
Henry Turner
#89. THE GAMBLER,THE NUN,& THE RADIO
Everything is mucho simpler in a hospital, including jokes
Ernest Hemingway,
#90. Maxine wouldn't appreciate a visit from a succubus, especially one being tracked by a detective. But I didn't have a choice. I needed help. Even if that meant getting help from a nun.
J.M. Friedman. Succubus in Seattle (Kindle Locations 193-194).
J.R. Thorn
#91. a woman would have to be a blind lesbian nun to not be affected by him.
Carol Maloney Scott
#92. I don't speak during the day. I warm up physically and, obviously, vocally, constantly. And I try to live like a nun.
Kristin Chenoweth
#93. As a child I wanted to be a ballerina, ice-cream van owner, wife of George Michael, a nun, and a music conductor.
Erin O'Connor
#94. THE GAMBLER,THE NUN,& THE RADIO
It is necessary to be very strong against something
Ernest Hemingway,
#95. Pema Chodron, an ordained Buddhist nun, writes of compassion and suggests that its truest measure lies not in our service of those on the margins, but in our willingness to see ourselves in kinship with them.
Gregory J. Boyle
#96. I'll be a nun, raise my daughter, and make albums.
Brandy Norwood
#97. These were the names of the men Moses sent to scout out the land, and Moses renamed Hoshea son of Nun, Joshua. Numbers 13:16
Beth Moore
#98. A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug - never wraps herself so that the world can't tell.
P. J. O'Rourke
#99. In the third grade, a nun stuffed me in a garbage can under her desk because she said that's where I belonged. I also had the distinction of being the only altar boy knocked down by a priest during mass.
Bruce Springsteen
#100. THE GAMBLER,THE NUN,& THE RADIO
You like music? How would I not
Ernest Hemingway,
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