No Teeth Funny Quotes

#1. Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother - which, for the record, it had not.

Cuthbert Soup

#2. In school I was always the funny-looking, tall, skinny kid that got made fun of because of my weird teeth.

Lara Stone

#3. This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

P.G. Wodehouse

#4. Plus, no matter how many times I'd brushed my teeth in Casey's bathroom (after half an hour she'd knocked on the door to make sure I was okay), the taste of disgusting, womanizing bastard was still in my mouth. Ugh!

Kody Keplinger

#5. Simon didn't think Meg really wanted to know how to eviscerate a rabbit. He could be wrong about that, but he just couldn't picture Meg pouncing on a bunny and ripping it open with her teeth.
Maybe if he tried harder to picture it?

Anne Bishop

#6. I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.

Alan Carr

#7. He smiled at me. He did that thing again, where he pulled back his lips and showed me his teeth. He smiled so big it made him sneeze. It was like he was saying, I know i'm a mess. Isn't it funny?

Kate DiCamillo

#8. Oh gosh, it's moving! It's so gross! Can't you just, like, flex your butt or something?
Why, yes. Travis clenched his teeth. Why don't I just clench my butt muscles in hopes that it will shock the spider enough to crawl back into the hellhole it came out of?

Rachel Van Dyken

#9. Deets slapped his leg and laughed, the thought was so funny. When the rest of the outfit finally wondered down from the house they found the two of them grinning back and forth at one another.
"Look at 'em," Augustus said. "You'd think they just discovered teeth.

Larry McMurtry

#10. Dear lord, the flash of his gleaming white teeth was like a hot button to my nether regions. Down vagina! Down, girl.
Bad Rep by A. Meredith Walters

A Meredith Walters

#11. I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.

Russell Howard

#12. Do you think it's funny to be so serious when I'm not even out of high school?' she asked.
'I don't see how it could be any other way,' said Lee. 'Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth, and laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death, and sometimes it isn't in time.

John Steinbeck

#13. It's funny because I want my teeth to be, like, neon 'Real Housewives' white, but mine have stopped taking to teeth whitening. When I talk to my dentist, I'm like, 'They can be that white,' and he's like, 'Veneers can be that white.'

Christine Teigen

#14. Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here.

Moira Young

#15. He once again pointed to that creepy theatrical smile. There were way too many teeth there. It made him look positively demented.

Richard E. Gropp

#16. When I was younger, my sister thought it was funny to pretend to punch me in the face because my mom was concerned about my teeth falling out. They were loose for a long time, and she knocked out my teeth.

Amy Adams

#17. Say, Cuttino. What are those Godawful clothes you're wearing? Man, this ain't Rhode Island anymore. You're in the NBA. The girls have teeth here.

Charles Barkley

#18. If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months

Josh Stern

#19. Hey!" He snapped out of his musings as Destiny's hand trailed down his body to cup his less than interested cock through his trousers. "Claws to self, Vampira, I assume you brush your teeth twice a day but I have no idea where those hands of yours have been.

Jane Cousins

#20. You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

Chevy Chase

#21. Perfect," he groaned. "You are perfect." He sank his teeth into her ass, hard, drawing blood. "And now you wear my mark," he finished proudly. "Your ass is mine.

Hanna Lui

#22. Is that all you bought?" His eyes shot to the left. "Um." I clenched my teeth. "What else?" "A Super Mega Juicer," he said quickly. "But, Sabina, seriously that juicer is a miracle machine." "I'm a vampire, Giguhl. The only liquids I drink are blood and alcohol. I don't do juice.

Jaye Wells

#23. For loose teeth the tooth fairy recommends tying your tooth to a brick and throwing said brick down the stairs.

Nicole McKay

#24. Revel in grossness. Leave food in your teeth. Proudly display feminine hygiene products.

Jennifer Ziegler

#25. You know, Stephen says, in the movies no one ever goes to the bathroom. They shave, they brush their teeth. He goes right at this sort of funny taboo we have about the bathroom, and he turned it into this nightmare, you know, your worst fear of what's in there.

Lawrence Kasdan

#26. I'm gonna kick your teeth so far down your throat you'll be able to chew your own ass out for pissin' me off.

The Undertaker

#27. I thought my teeth were white until I washed my face with Noxzema. My teeth are off-white. I'm not even white. I'm off-white. It's a new race; we will prevail!

Mitch Hedberg

#28. You've brushed your teeth," He says, staring at me.
"I used your toothbrush."
His lips quirk up in a half smile. "Oh Anastasia Steele, what am I going to do with you?

E.L. James

#29. Its mouth was wide and its teeth were wickedly pointed. He managed a brief "Hey!" and jerked away from the window ... just as the rat hit the glass with a furry, wet thump. It slid down to the alley one floor below, where it staggered around in stunned surprise.

Michael Scott

#30. Every time I watch
Lady and the Tramp
I think
"SHE'S HAVING SOME OF YOUR PASTA!"
"QUICK! EAT IT ALL! EAT IT ALL, NOW!!!"
"GROWL! BARE YOUR TEETH! DO SOMETHING!
"OH, DON'T GIVE HER THE MEATBALL!
THERE'S MEAT IN IT!"
"IDIOT!"
But then again
I'm not the romantic type.

Francesco Marciuliano

#31. In entertainment, I adore Ricky Gervais in 'Derek.' His performance is unbelievably charming, funny and poignant. In life, I adore my girlfriend. She is the most adorable person I have ever met - from her silly jokes to her cute teeth to her little drawings.

Josh Zuckerman

#32. People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns ... behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth ... with braces on them.

Steven Wright

#33. I think sex is overrated. I don't have sex appeal and I know it. As a matter of fact, I think I'm rather funny looking. My teeth are funny, for one thing, and I have none of the attributes usually required for a movie queen, including the shapeliness.

Audrey Hepburn

#34. Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth.

Rebecca Brooks

#35. If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.

George Brett

#36. The Demon curled its lips back, revealing a double row of needle-sharp teeth.
I considered changing my chosen course of action; I considered fainting.

Robert Asprin