Top 100 News For You Quotes
#1. I have news for you, there is no Superman (it's up to us.)
Tom Mboya
#2. She seemed to Bond to give a quick involuntary shrug of the shoulders as she spoke, but then she leant impulsively towards him. 'I have some news for you from Mathis. He was longing to tell you himself. It's about the bomb. It's a fantastic story.
Ian Fleming
#3. If you thought the army was here protecting people like yourself, I've some news for you, we're here to defend wealth.
Billy Bragg
#4. You're such an imbecile, you know that?"
"Yet, here you sit next to me trying to catch my attention with your legs. Is this your way of showing me what's on offer, because I have news for you, Chelsea, I ain't buying it. So what do you want?
Heidi McLaughlin
#5. If you want to have a career, my advice is don't get married. You think things have changed and there's some kind of gender equality now, that men are different, but I've got news for you. They're not.
Jeffrey Eugenides
#6. Good evening and welcome to Have I Got News for You, the show that's done for Friday and Saturday nights what ten pints of lager does for Sunday mornings, although I wouldn't know, being more partial to cocaine personally. Allegedly.
Angus Deayton
#7. There's an awful lot of terrible television which I could do, but I mostly stick to Have I Got News for You.
Ian Hislop
#8. You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.
Justin Halpern
#9. I've got some bad news for you, Larry. The sad truth is, I'd rather pull out my fingernails one by one than sleep with you." She slipped out of the low-slung car. "Your breath stinks, Lar, and let's just face it - you're a creep." She slammed the door with such force he winced visibly.
Christine Feehan
#10. Tell me I'm a sinner I got news for you
I spoke to God this morning and he don't like you!
Don't you try and teach me no original sin;
I don't need your pity for the shape I'm in
Ozzy Osbourne
#11. I have amazing news for you. Man is not alone on this planet. He is part of a community, upon which he depends absolutely.
Daniel Quinn
#12. Ladies and gentlemen, I wish I had better news for you but we are facing a storm that most of us have feared. This is a threat that we've never faced before.
Ray Nagin
#13. I despise the kind of book which tells you how to live, how to make yourself happy! Philosophers have no good news for you at this level! I believe the first duty of philosophy is making you understand what deep shit you are in!
Slavoj Zizek
#14. Then I have some bad news for you, because humans are going to destroy each other as soon as it becomes easy enough to, which will be very soon.
Jonathan Safran Foer
#15. What can I do to see Reality as it is?" The master smiled and said, "I have good news and bad news for you, my friend." "What's the bad news?" "There's nothing you can do to see it is a gift." "And what's the good news?" "There's nothing you can do to see it is a gift.
Anthony De Mello
#16. I've got news for you, Mia. There's going to be all kinds of terrible in there, so you won't really stand out, Mom said.
Gayle Forman
#17. I could speak to you and say, 'Laytay-chai, paisey, paisey.' ... Why aren't you responding? Oh, you don't speak Swahili. Well, I've got news for you. The dog doesn't speak English, or American, or Spanish, or French.
Ian Dunbar
#18. The good thing about 'Have I Got News For You' is it's a compact show but it still gives everyone space to breathe, and everyone always gets a chance to say something if they want to. It's a very difficult show to dominate, and guests who come on and dominate always fall foul.
Jack Dee
#19. Got good news and bad news for you, Mr. President. The good news is that Chief Justice John Roberts just saved your legacy and, perhaps, your presidency by writing for the Supreme Court majority to rule health care reform constitutional.
Ron Fournier
#20. People say karma is a bitch but I have news for you, karma doesn't have anything on fate when she is after blood. Not a single thing.
Harper Sloan
#21. My being a psycho is actually good news for you in some ways. It means I am 100% practical and not encumbered by other considerations.
In fact maybe that is the simplest definition of a psycho; someone who is 100% practical. Yes, I like that.
Jake Remington
#22. I've got news for you: There are going to be people other than Christians in the hereafter. What are you going to do about it? Are you not going to go?
Jane Elliot
#23. New Rule: If you're one of the one-in-three married women who say your pet is a better listener than your husband, you talk too much. And I have some bad news for you: Your dog's not listening, either; he's waiting for food to fall out of your mouth.
Bill Maher
#24. If we do have any iPhone users out there, I have incredibly great news for you. I've developed after about six months and finally perfected and it'll be out on the market soon, an app that you'll all want. It allows you to make a phone call.
Kevin Pollak
#25. (Thinking while being interrogated by the Germans) You big shots think you can decide on my life, but I have news for you: you can't touch a hair on my head without the will of God my Father, because He is on my side.
Diet Eman
#26. They called to tell me that I was going to be returning to RAW. I left immediately to run home and tell Jackie. She said, I have some news for you-I'm expecting.
Charlie Haas
#27. I've got news for you. We're gonna win the game. I guarantee it.
Joe Namath
#28. I've got news for you, Aves. When a guy says he wants to take you out in the name of science, he's totally full of it. He really just wants to take you out."
"But you've taken me out like a million times for the experiment. You kissed me once in the name of science."
"Exactly.
Kelly Oram
#29. fond of people to stay in the field with the sheep. Well, I've got news for you about people, you big stupid
Jean Gill
#30. But if you find yourself experiencing a desire to seek God, we have great news for you: God is already at work in you.
Henry T. Blackaby
#31. For those of you who thought F. W. Murnau's 'Nosferatu' was his greatest film, I have news for you: his 'Faust' blows it out of the water.
Kage Baker
#32. I've got news for you ... both those idiots [Al Snow and the Rock] aren't your friends! They hate you! Everybody hates you! All the people at home, all these people in the arena hate you, and most importantly, Y2J hates you!
Chris Jericho
#33. Break my heart? Is that what you just said? I have news for you; you didn't break my heart. My heart's fine. My heart's in the best shape of its life. You know what you did to me? You took an AK-47 and blew my soul open.
Tiffanie DeBartolo
#34. Not every programme dealing with issues of global significance has to be fronted by last week's winner of Have I Got News For You-but I suppose you might be wrong.
Jonathan Dimbleby
#35. I got some news for you. One, there is no Jesus. Two, there is no God. Three, mind your own business and everything works out.
Ed Asner
#36. I tried for the longest time to find out what deconstructionism was. Nobody was able to explain it to me clearly. The best answer I got was from a writer, who said, 'Honey, it's bad news for you and me.
Margaret Atwood
#37. Once you embrace unpleasant news, not as a negative but as evidence of a need for change, you aren't defeated by it. You're learning from it.
Bill Gates
#38. I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.
Stephen Colbert
#39. Ann Landers said that you are addicted to sex if you have sex more than 3 times a day, and that you should seek professional help. I have news for Ann Landers: The only way I am going to get sex 3 times a day is if I seek professional help.
Jay Leno
#40. When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.
Fred Rogers
#41. This battle for 'common-sense' gun control laws pits emotion and passion against logic and reason. All too often in such a contest, logic loses. So, expect more meaningless, if not harmful, 'gun control' legislation. Good news - if you're a crook.
Larry Elder
#42. I tell ya! The road to success is an endless battle for you and me.
Steven Jackson
#43. Sometimes you want to fall on your knees and thank God in heaven for all the poor news reporting that goes on in the world.
Sue Monk Kidd
#44. Work that mobilizes you 24 hours per day and makes you responsible to all of the people in the country is worth propelling yourself through jetlag and uncomfortable news for.
Dmitry Medvedev
#45. I'm certainly very influenced by what you would call 'contemporary headline horror,' stuff that is true crime or for one reason or another catches our attention in the media, those strange cases that we end up obsessing about. I'm always influenced by weird anecdotes and news.
Dan Chaon
#46. Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.
David Cross
#48. The good news is that we don't last. Thank heavens! Because to continue the drama of who you are, is boring, ultimately. The universe is our friend because it kills us - and that's what friends are for.
Frederick Lenz
#49. My blood runs cold when I hear the 'great news' that we have found a marker for the Down's syndrome gene, which means we can identify it more easily. Why is that good news? It's only good news if you're going to terminate.
Sally Phillips
#50. An artist's career doesn't happen in the cycle of one week of news. An artist's career happens in a lifetime, and if you're a true artist you're willing to die for what you believe in.
Kanye West
#51. The good news is my almost-boyfriend was ready to pound Eric's face for you."
"Almost-boyfriend? Don't you gays usually move a lot faster than this? I thought you were supposed to shack up together on the second date and adopt a cat so you had something to dress up in a tutu.
Ashlan Thomas
#52. The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.
P. J. O'Rourke
#53. I have to say that Adam Levine is truly a daring young man to go on Twitter to bash Fox News. He's so rebellious, so subversive. I mean, for a musician, seriously, could you find a more predictable stance than that? He's as edgy as a hacky sack, which also describes his music.
Greg Gutfeld
#54. So, I am a b*stard, and the English are b*stards. But the really bad news is that you are too. My vision of Europe would be Europe of b*stards for whom the question of legitimacy was a site of endless struggle and contestation ...
Simon Critchley
#55. If a man, for private profit, tears at the public news, does so with the impatience of one who thinks he actually owns the news you get, it is against the national interest.
Jimmy Breslin
#56. Stop reading the news for a week; you will see that the world will turn from red to blue!
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#57. And it is that one percent, the heads of large corporations, who control the policies of news media and determine what you and I hear on radio, read in the newspapers, see on television. It is more important for us to think about where the media gets its information.
Assata Shakur
#58. Never awake me when you have good news to announce, because with good news nothing presses; but when you have bad news, arouse me immediately, for then there is not an instant to be lost.
Napoleon Bonaparte
#59. In fact, I was just looking for news about you. Where have you been hiding?" "In your exercise room. I've been watching your bard-in-a-box and learning about your world.
Bryan Fields
#60. So the good news is, if you're unemployed and you go to apply for a job and you're not hired for that job, see a lawyer - you may be able to file for a claim because you were discriminated against because you were unemployed.
Louie Gohmert
#61. Is he your warden now too? You know I saw this story on the news last week about controlling, abusive teenage relationships and-
"Okay!" I cut him off, and then shoved his arm. "Time for the werewolf to get out!
Stephenie Meyer
#62. The SuperPACs and the Citizens United ruling that gives corporations a voice in the political process are all bad news. They made it so you can now lie, and the politician being promoted on that lie will not be held responsible for it.
Jesse Ventura
#63. Philadelphia is a great market for local TV news. Both KYW and Channel 10 have had good runs. But Channel 6 doesn't give you a reason to turn the channel. I have such profound respect for Jim Gardner. He is Philadelphia television news.
Steve Capus
#64. If you are verifying information for yourself, you will not send on fake news to others. If
Timothy Snyder
#65. If you're going to be in the business of news and telling people the truth ... you've got to be honest. You've got to have the same rules for yourself as you do for everyone else.
Don Lemon
#66. I have several children - seven, to be exact - too many children for an atheist, certainly. Whenever my children complain about the planet to me, I say, Shut up! I just got here myself. Who do you think I am - Methuselah? You think I like the news of the day any better than you do? You're wrong.
Kurt Vonnegut
#67. Scramblers deactivated, then?
Well here's some good news.
You feel no pain.
You will go straight to a hospital. Remember nothing of this place.
And every time you hear the words "parsley", "intractable" or "longitude", you will vomit uncontrollably for forty-eight hours.
Joss Whedon
#68. There's discussion in athletics about how sport - where they say 'SportsCenter' has ruined the fundamentals of basketball because it's - it only applauds dunks and three point shots and blocks, and I think, you know, the cable news has done the same thing for politics.
Dan Pfeiffer
#69. Ash shook his head, but I saw the shadow of a smirk on his face. "You know I'm probably going to kill you soon, right?" he muttered as we headed off into the trees.
"Old news, ice-boy." I chuckled, falling into step beside him. "And you know I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Julie Kagawa
#70. I turned on Fox News and jumped when I saw that they had one of those things in their studio. "Are you people crazy?" I screamed at the television. "Get out of there. Somebody shoot it!" Then I realized I was watching Special Report and had mistaken Charles Krauthammer for a zombie.
Ian McClellan
#71. Parents always forgive you. Like sometimes, you see parents on the news, and their kid just got busted for murdering a 7-11 clerk, and they're like, 'But my Bubba's a good boy. He'd never hurt a fly.' So I'm sure your parents would forgive you for whatever you did.
Alex Flinn
#72. the future wasn't something you planned for; it was something that just happened, like your car spinning out on some black ice and hitting a snowbank, or the telephone ringing with bad news in the middle of the night.
Wendy Lawless
#73. IT'S EASY to long for nothing but good news and carefree days, but a full life includes the broken and dark and difficult parts, too. Thank God for walking with you in the seasons of heartbreak.
Shauna Niequist
#74. When you are thrown onto the stage at 17 in such an enormous way, it becomes living on the edge because every step you take, every word you speak, every action you do becomes headline news. And it became, for me, life or death.
Boris Becker
#75. Dreams as soul messages ... each nightly communication brings the latest-breaking news available in special edition just for you!
Gary Zukav
#76. If you're the village blacksmith and a model T comes along, you better become a mechanic. People's lives are better when they get news online versus having to wait for the morning paper. It's a lot more efficient, a lot more real time, a lot less waste.
Marc Andreessen
#77. Don't read newspapers for the news (just for the gossip and, of course, profiles of authors). The best filter to know if the news matters is if you hear it in cafes, restaurants ... or (again) parties.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
#78. BREAKING NEWS: You're awesome and designed for success; live this day accordingly!
Steve Maraboli
#79. The good news is that The Hangover Part III isn't a rerun like the second episode. The bad news is everything else. For all the promise of mayhem and WTF moments, the final episode hits you with all the force of a warm can of O'Doul's.
Kyle Smith
#80. It's really unfair to working women in America who read celebrity news and think, 'Why can't I lose weight when I've had a baby?' Well, everyone you're reading about has money for a trainer and a chef. That doesn't make it realistic.
Rachel Zoe
#81. A brand is a story. And you have to tell it well. The good news in this connected world great stories travel fast. And, these days, they travel for free. So there has never been a better time or a cheaper time to start something.
David Hieatt
#82. Excuse us for the news,
You might not be amused;
But did you know White comes from Black?
No need to be confused.
Chuck D
#83. Newspapers and magazines have been valuable to us precisely because they apply filters to information, otherwise known as editing, and often the Internet seems valuable for exactly the opposite reason: You can get your news without a filter.
Michael Specter
#84. If you thought financial crises came and went, just count on them - another economic collapse, it's almost going to be like not news any more. But for startups this is great, because it's a perpetual driver of disruption.
Steve Jurvetson
#85. You'll never make sense of his notes. You just have to listen to his lecture," Graham whispered
confidentially. "It's a challenge, but the good news is that he's been giving the same tests for forty years. The
answers are carved right into the tops of the desks. See?
G. Norman Lippert
#86. Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all z the people.
Anonymous
#87. Don't say it's over
'Cause that's the worst news I could hear I swear that I will
Do my best to be here just the way you like it
Even though it's hard to hide
Push my feelings all aside
I will rearrange my plans and change for you. (-The Avett Brothers)
Colleen Hoover
#88. But that's what happens when you allow a nice person to write a news paper serial for you; now the world thinks you're nice, too, which is silly in the extreme. Sadly, it's a burden that you must bear.
Karen Hawkins
#89. For the cable news guest, nothing happens for a while until suddenly everything happens very quickly. After you receive your television face, you stand around for a while, ignored, until you're sat down at a desk and asked to argue with strangers.
Alex Pareene
#90. When you're expecting bad news you have to be prepared for it a long time ahead so that when the telegram comes you can already pronounce the syllables in your mouth before opening it.
Robert Pinget
#91. Trez blew out his breath. You know what my fantasy is? It ain't porn. It's good news. For once in my fucking life, I'd love to have some good news.
J.R. Ward
#92. I'm sorry for croaking at you this evening. This is PM, I'm Eddie Mair: the walrus of news.
Eddie Mair
#93. Who could blame her for that? he personally couldn't think of any woman who would welcome that news. Hey hon, guess what? your son that you nurtured in your body for nine months and then sacrificed your life and dignity to raise is destined to end th world. Aren't you proud?
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#94. I got a phone call saying we are from the News of the World, and we're exposing you and David Beckham. My heart did not beat for a minute.
Rebecca Loos
#95. Nothing you'll read as breaking news will ever hold a candle to the sheer beauty of settled science. Textbook science has carefully phrased explanations for new students, math derived step by step, plenty of experiments as illustration, and test problems.
Eliezer Yudkowsky
#96. We're all watching each other, so there's no chance for censorship. The main problem is the idiot TV. If you watch local news, your head will turn to mush.
Ray Bradbury
#97. Eventually, while researching, you'll learn something you didn't want to know. Some fact that ruins a plotline you had in mind. The good news is that sometimes, learning all the facts can make for a much more interesting story than you originally had in mind.
Andy Weir
#98. Perhaps you have been ensnared by a sinful habit that you will not abandon, and your guilt is so overwhelming you are ashamed to approach Christ. Whatever the reason for your broken intimacy with God, there is good news. Jesus waits to embrace you now in the arms of unconditional, divine love.
Charles Stanley
#99. When you go through some controversy and you see your face on the news in a negative way for 48 hours ... you doubt yourself. And your friends make the difference. They become a safety net that come in and say, 'That's not the case.' And the relationships that you've built ... come to the fore.
Stanley A. McChrystal
#100. You come to me for advice, but you can't cope with anything you don't recognize. Hmmm. So we'll have to tell you something you already know but make it sound like news, eh Well, business as usual , I suppose.
Douglas Adams
