Laughing Jokes Quotes

#1. In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.

Robert Benchley

#2. Life, like the boring drunk at the office party, keeps seeking you out, leaning on you, killing you with pointless yarns and laughing bad-breathed in your face at its own unfunny jokes.

Glen Duncan

#3. One thing House needs Wilson for is vanity. He needs someone to laugh at his jokes.

Hugh Laurie

#4. Every time a woman makes herself laugh at her husband's often-told jokes she betrays him. The man who looks at his woman and says 'What would I do without you?' is already destroyed.

Germaine Greer

#5. I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me ... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.

Chris Rock

#6. We have to laugh at how hard life can be and how screwed up we can be at times ... It's a really freeing process when you're not hitting the jokes too hard.

Brett Gelman

#7. could hear Rico's ass laughing in the background like I was some nigga on Comedy Central telling jokes and shit

Lucinda John

#8. People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in my life, in my heart.

Steve Harvey

#9. Comedy always works better when you're tracking the story and you care about the characters. That's why there's a lot of movies where there's not a ton of jokes, but you get huge laughs because there's a moment of relief.

Andy Samberg

#10. A German joke is no laughing matter.

Mark Twain

#11. As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making jokes about absolutely everything.

Joan Rivers

#12. I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.

Nick Offerman

#13. I don't suppose God laughs at the people who think He doesn't exist. He's above jokes. But the devil isn't. That's one of his most endearing qualities.

Robertson Davies

#14. It's often the way that people who take their work seriously laugh at stupid jokes; it's as if they are under-humored and, as a consequence, suffer from premature laugh-ejaculation.

Nick Hornby

#15. When my muffin top makes an appearance after a dedicated weekend of pizza indulging, when I feel too tired to write and all my words sound boring, when my students aren't laughing at my jokes, I am still enough.

Michelle Elaine Kennedy

#16. Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions

Criss Jami

#17. Somewhere between the smiles, the laughing, the fights about nothing, and all our jokes, I fell in love.

Dawn Williams

#18. Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.

Agnes Varda

#19. Sometimes I crack myself up; but laughter is biblical, so I feel almost holy laughing at my own jokes.

Judah Smith

#20. A joke is a joke, and people put too much meaning behind it. They react to it in the wrong way. I mean, you can boo or laugh, and that's pretty much what you're supposed to do with jokes. You're not supposed to take it any further than that.

Dave Attell

#21. Check out the very best of Hollywood jokes that will make you laugh

Joan Crawford

#22. Like a ventriloquist who laughs at his dummy's jokes, I keep trying to make photographs that seduce me into believing in the image - all the time knowing better, but believing anyway.

Larry Sultan

#23. All I do is have fun. When I'm not working, it's about making people laugh. I love making jokes about things. Even when someone's mad at me, I'll deflect anger with humor. My days are filled with laughter. If I'm not laughing, I'm not happy.

Drew Fuller

#24. End of the Summer
It was end of the summer
And my heart was broken
but i was smiling, laughing, making jokes
Like there was nothing bleeding inside
As always.

Arzum Uzun

#25. I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren't funny.

Michael Caine

#26. I love dark humor. I love things that are so grounded in life, but just happen to be just a little bit twisted because my sense of humor is a little bit twisted. I love jokes that shouldn't be funny, but are. Those types of things just really make me laugh.

Rockmond Dunbar

#27. Why do we have to humiliate someone to crack a joke??? Do what u would like people to do with u..

Honeya

#28. My music started out as a complete joke, so really all I was doing was going for witty punchlines to make all of my buddies laugh.

Mike Stud

#29. It is unpardonable conceit not to laugh at your own jokes. Joking is undignified; that is why it is so good for one's soul. Do not fancy you can be a detached wit and avoid being a buffoon; you cannot. If you are the Court Jester you must be the Court Fool.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

#30. Cut out all these exclamation jokes. An explanation point is like laughing at your own joke. I'm going to delete you from my contacts if you keep sending solely emoji texts. You're a grown-ass man.

F Scott Fitzgerald

#31. I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they'd laugh.

Margaret Cho

#32. Okay, that one's pretty good," Fred acknowledged, after she'd told him a particularly filthy joke. "But have you heard the one about the baker's wife?"
"No," Kyra said.
"Rumor has it, she married him for his buns." Fred burst out laughing.
Kyra groaned. "Okay, that was just bad.

Bridget Zinn

#33. To our betters eve can reconcile ourselves, if you please
respecting them sincerely, laughing at their jokes, making allowance for their stupidities, meekly suffering their insolence; but we can't pardon our equals going beyond us.

William Makepeace Thackeray

#34. When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God.

Hafez

#35. I use a lot of humor, and I follow the saying that if you want to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh first, otherwise, they will shoot you. So I can tell you a joke and maybe you will laugh at the beginning. But it's not about telling jokes.

Sayed Kashua

#36. I made some jokes about weed, got some laughs, made some more jokes, got some more laughs; next thing you know, I'm telling a lot of jokes about it.

Doug Benson

#37. My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

Zach Galifianakis

#38. Pointing out the emotion in a scene is like laughing at your own jokes.

Diana Gabaldon

#39. Everything we do means something, Ender realized. Them laughing. Me not laughing. He toyed with the idea of trying to be like the other boys. But he couldn't think of any jokes, and none of theirs seemed funny. Wherever their laughter came from, Ender couldn't find such a place in himself.

Orson Scott Card

#40. I aspire to be
an old man
with an old wife
laughing at old jokes
from a wild youth.

Atticus Poetry

#41. I'm against eating a human being alive - I don't do it. Somebody might make cannibalism jokes and laugh it off like it's nothing. I don't agree with that. I want to proclaim a rejection of cannibalism.

John Maus

#42. A joke isn't a joke until someone laughs.

Michael Crawford

#43. I seem to get into situations that make people laugh, but I don't consider myself that funny of a person. I'm not witty. I'm kind of slow in conversations. I'm not that articulate with jokes. The first time I made stuff and screened it for an audience, I was surprised what people were laughing at.

Nathan Fielder

#44. Bleeding for a decade
For a decade,
We bleed like there is no hell but the earth
We bleed like we were born to dare
We bleed like there is nothing alive inside.
We find a clue
After a decade
Bleeding is just to breath
Simply keeps us alive.

Arzum Uzun

#45. If I'm laughing, you know I'm either very happy or very sad. I cope with things with jokes.

Cristela Alonzo

#46. I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to laugh and to feel positive, if you are laughing at something positive. But if you are laughing at mean jokes then it's a wash.

Ellen DeGeneres

#47. Remember that Cosby show where he harrassed the children? Well I put on a little suit and because I am so small they invited me on but nobody was laughing at my jokes. I guess I'm just, too, particularly smart for them.

Thom Yorke

#48. I might appear confident and chatty, but I spend most of my time laughing at jokes I don't find funny, saying things I don't really mean - because at the end of the day that's what we're all trying to do: fit in, one way or another, desperately trying to pretend we're all the same.

Tabitha Suzuma

#49. I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like to laugh during difficult circumstances.

Brian Regan

#50. Oh Lola's Boobs,' he says into my chest, 'I wish we knew each other better.'
I crack up laughing.
'What's that you say?' he jokes, putting his ear to my right breast. 'You wish you could come out to play more often but Lola doesn't let you? Well, that's a shame.

Bianca Giovanni

#51. Looking back, I remember my family laughing a lot. We were never the kind of people that dwelled on hard times. My family laughs when things are tough. Growing up like that, I got used to making jokes about things that were difficult. So when I started doing stand-up, that's what I went towards.

Cristela Alonzo

#52. The Dalai Lama took the Archbishop's hand, and then they were more eight than eighty, laughing and making jokes together as they strolled toward the terminal, yellow umbrella sheltering above them. Even

Dalai Lama XIV

#53. I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.

Ashley Benson

#54. A good joke is life laughing at itself.

Marty Rubin

#55. Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.

Chris Hardwick

#56. Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master, At which the audience never fail to laugh?

Aristophanes

#57. I'm more of an older school comedian so Tommy Davidson still makes me laugh a lot no matter how many times I've heard his jokes or not. He's just an animated comedian that I don't mind seeing over and over again.

Joe Torry

#58. I really like being able to laugh at my own jokes.

Neil Gaiman

#59. I was really enjoying one of the screenings of 'Beautiful Creatures' and there was this little 14-year-old boy sitting next to me in the screening and I was laughing at all the jokes and I just felt really judged. I had to keep it down a bit. It's a bit embarrassing.

Alice Englert

#60. I see myself as a huge dork that laughs at my own jokes and forgets to shower sometimes.

Lauren Gardner

#61. I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.

Dick Gregory

#62. They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

Bob Monkhouse

#63. As you get older as a comedian and keep doing it, what you actually start to cherish on stage is not the build-up to the jokes, but how comfortable you can be in the silence and the non-laughing parts, and how long you can take the audience without a laugh to then get a huge reaction.

Patton Oswalt

#64. I want every idea I have to make me money. I want every post I write to have 10,000 Facebook likes. I want every talk I give to have people laughing at all the right jokes. I want everyone to like me all the time.

James Altucher

#65. There is something about being a director where, for me personally, I get to ... it's the closest I'll ever come to being able to be a stand up. And to use my particular sense of humor, and hear people laughing, without me having to stand up in front of an audience and tell jokes.

Barry Sonnenfeld

#66. When we hear jokes against women, and we are asked why we don't laugh at them, the answer is easy, simple, and short. Of course we're not laughing ... Nobody laughs at the sight of their own blood.

Naomi Weisstein

#67. People make a lot of jokes about the empty nest. Let me tell you, it is no laughing matter. It is really hard.

Michelle Pfeiffer