Kids'll Quotes

#1. Crayola makes all kinds of crazy colors. You know. Burnt umber. Burnt sienna. Blanched almond. Baby-shit yellow. And so on, and so forth. I'm just saying, cockroaches Have their own color. It's distinct. Crayola should get on that. The kids'll love it.

Chuck Wendig

#2. Everything people do that doesn't work has to be somebody else's fault. Next time you know, geezers'll be suing the government for getting old and kids'll be taking their mommies to court because they came out ugly.

Lionel Shriver

#3. You know, you kind of lose some self-confidence after having kids because you'll never be the way you were. But I feel good.

Debi Mazar

#4. I hope I'm never a mom. But if I am, I'll make damn sure my kids look up to me.

Ellen Hopkins

#5. Don't worry kids, you'll find work. After all, my machine will need strong chess player-programmers. You will be the first.

Mikhail Botvinnik

#6. Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Eat pudding. Books are good. Eat pudding. If kids read a lot. Eat pudding. They'll get so they can think clearly. Eat pudding. And if enough kids read and think. Eat pudding. We will have world peace. Eat pudding. Thank you very much. Eat pudding.

Daniel Pinkwater

#7. For the rest of my life I'll be thinking about that hamburger. I'll be sitting there at the counter, holding it in my hands with tears streaming down my cheeks. The waitress will be looking away because she doesn't like to see kids crying when they are eating hamburgers ...

Richard Brautigan

#8. This generation is so dead. You ask a kid, 'What are you doing this Saturday?' and they'll be playing video games or watching cable, instead of building model cars or airplanes or doing something creative. Kids today never say, 'Man, I'm really into remote-controlled steamboats.'

Jack White

#9. The kids didn't call me Amy Schumer; they called me Amy Jewmer. One summer, I'll never forget this, all the kids took turns throwing handfuls of pennies at me. I know, I was like, 'Excuse me - this is awesome!

Amy Schumer

#10. If you want grown-ups to recycle, just tell their kids the importance of recycling, and they'll be all over it.

Bill Nye

#11. As any parent can tell you, it's better to keep your mouth shut and your eyes open when you go looking for kids who are being unreasonably quiet. They're probably doing something they don't want you to see, and if they hear you coming, they'll hide the evidence. I

Elizabeth Bear

#12. I'd like to have kids at some point. I think I'll have a family someday.

Anderson Cooper

#13. I'd carry the mail for you, Ethel,
Stop running around with that pup,
He's got a car, sure, and jack to throw
Like water but what does he want?
What do they all want? something easy,
Something that somebody else worked for.
Ethel, lay off rich kids, you'll end dirty.

Kenneth Patchen

#14. Hopefully I'll be able to mature one of these days, get serious, and at least have them [kids] pretty fast.

Serena Williams

#15. I love you. I love you and it sucks because now I'm going to lose my job and all our kids are to have red hair and I want at least one of them to be blonde, but they'll probably all have red hair and you're keeping secrets from me and I love you.

Chelsea M. Cameron

#16. If I'm going to do something a little bit more adult, I'll do it if it's going to be on at a different time slot or if it's going to be something that kids won't be able to get their hands on.

Melissa Joan Hart

#17. She's as plastic as you are. If you ever have kids, they'll come out of the birth canal with Fisher-Price stamped on their butts.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#18. You hear terrible stories because there'll be a story about some terrible kid, but most of the kids I work with are terrific kids. They're poor, maybe their families are broken, so they're not coming home to a mom and dad and a nice dinner every night. But these kids are capable.

Rafe Esquith

#19. The only jobs kids have are to do well in school, to be charming and polite, and be thankful. That's it. I'll house you, protect you, I'll even give my life for you, and in return, you will behave.

Gene Simmons

#20. I don't have kids. I'll probably never have kids. And I am getting sick of people behaving as though the only way a woman can be judged is by what comes out of her vagina.

Debbie Johnson

#21. I can take $15,000 a year and raise kids on that. Later, they'll figure out I've got millions, but hopefully they'll have the values to say, 'So what?

Bode Miller

#22. Kids need their minds blown every now and then. It'll keep them from thinking that managing a McDonald's is the most they can hope for.

Richard Kadrey

#23. There's a long tradition of teen comedies where the kids are getting drunk on beer and whatever else, so smoking a joint to me is no worse than having a beer. So, if someone has a problem with it, I'll just tell them to relax.

James Franco

#24. If you tell an eight-year-old she has a talent for something, she'll never give it a rest.

Lauren Leto

#25. I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

Rodney Dangerfield

#26. When we grow up," she said, "we'll have amazing families. Our dens will be better than this. Your kids and my kids will play together in a humongous room with every kind of toy and game." "Except I won't have kids," Dan said. "I'll come over myself and play ...

Peter Lerangis

#27. Fuck if I know but I know for damn sure I'm not leaving her alone with your father, I'll probably come back to find my kids on Ebay or some shit.

Jordan Silver

#28. By the time I'm 35, I'll probably want to have a family. I'd be happy doing that, teaching my kids to do the right things, to do good things.

Brittany Howard

#29. Who knows? Maybe years from now I'll be on a ranch in Colorado with 10 kids. The whole point of life is to experience a little bit of everything, and I think it's better when there are a few surprises thrown in.

Keri Russell

#30. I always say that if she treats her kids half as good as she treats the dogs, they'll be in great shape.

Mike Fisher

#31. Princess. By S. Morgenstern. It's a kids' classic. Tell him I'll quiz him on it when I'm back next week and that he doesn't have to like it or anything, but if he doesn't, tell him I'll kill myself. Give him that message exactly please; I wouldn't want to apply any extra pressure or anything.

William Goldman

#32. Right ... here's what we'll do: I'll get the kids. You take your shower. After homework and playtime, I'll challenge them to shots until they pass out. Then we'll eat the rest of their Halloween candy while binge-watching Game of Thrones.

Penny Reid

#33. I'll fight with every breath in my body to stop the out of control spending and debt that are bankrupting our kids and grandkids.

Ted Cruz

#34. Don't mess with my kids again. I will look past it once because I do believe its my fault. But if you touch my kids one more time, then you'll be in danger too.

Fabian

#35. Some day we'll awake, have a reformation of the heart, teach our kids honor and kill a few sex psychologists, put boys in high schools with men teachers (not sissies), close all the girls' finishing schools, shoot all the effeciency experts and become a nation of God's people once more.

Harry S. Truman

#36. I'll say one thing about an oil boom; it will teach a kid that Life's a pretty rotten thing as quick as anything I can think of.

Robert E. Howard

#37. Hip-hop's always reached out to kids. If you look at the last 10 big albums it might seem ironic. But when I look at the history of this music it's always had a lot of positivity.

LL Cool J

#38. I'll do anything for kids but I don't sign anything for grownups anymore.

Clinton Portis

#39. Once I fix what kids watch, I'll be moving on to everything else.

Geena Davis

#40. I joke with my kids, who love history, that I'll be the only governor to be elected twice in his first term.

Scott Walker

#41. Joshua nodded with a small smile. "I know if you're with her, nothing bad can happen to her. I'll go to school with Marie and Stefan. Of course, if you took me, all the other kids would think I have a big daddy, and they wouldn't try to pick on me." He shrugged. "But Stefan's big. Maybe he'll work.

Christine Feehan

#42. So what do we do now?" asked Alai. "The bugger war's over, and so's the war down there on Earth, and even the war here. What do we do now?" "We're kids," said Petra. "They'll probably make us go to school. It's a law. You have to go to school till you're seventeen." They all laughed at that.

Orson Scott Card

#43. I hear about death so often that I don't even notice anymore. Have you ever heard kids talk about death? My seventh-graders argue about it: is it scary or not? Kids used to ask: where do we come from? How are babies made? Now they're worried about what'll happen after the nuclear war.

Svetlana Alexievich

#44. Because I'm sure that as soon as things really get back to "normal," once our kids or grandkids grow up in a peaceful and comfortable world, they'll probably go right back to being as selfish and narrow-minded and generally shitty to one another as we were.

Max Brooks

#45. I have a dog and sometimes I'll be the littlest kid with my dog and marvel at his ears and his nose and how he looks at me. If he died, I'd bawl like a baby.

Aaron Eckhart

#46. I have a 15-year-old boy, and we are about to give him car keys, which seems like an act of insanity when you know what you know about 15-year-old boy behavior. But in 2018, we'll have self-driving cars, and it will be so much better. My son may be the last generation of kids who learns to drive.

Nick Hanauer

#47. Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny.

Lewis Black

#48. You can't spell "parentry" without "try." Of course, you'll make a few mistakes. The important thing is that the mistakes you make with your kids are the same ones your parents made with you. At least you know how those turn out.

Stephen Colbert

#49. Kids don't eat fast. They take their time; they talk and laugh. Sometimes it's really annoying, because you're like, 'Come on, it's bedtime!' But try it: You'll fill up before you know it, because it takes 20 minutes for your brain to know your stomach is full.

Alison Sweeney

#50. Kids, man. They'll be the ones to take mountain biking to the next level for us. You just watch

Gary Fisher

#51. You'll hear people say it's racist to test. Folks, it's racist not to test. Because guess who gets shuffled through the system oftentimes? Children whose parents don't speak English as a first language, inner-city kids. It's so much easier to quit on somebody than to remediate.

George W. Bush

#52. Any acting roles will be few and far between until my kids are older and by then, who knows what I'll want to do?

Drew Barrymore

#53. We eat all organic at home, so if we're running around and the kids want a hot dog or pretzel, I'll get it for them.

Kelly Rutherford

#54. Engineering stimulates the mind. Kids get bored easily. They have got to get out and get their hands dirty: make things, dismantle things, fix things. When the schools can offer that, you'll have an engineer for life.

Bruce Dickinson

#55. If I have a choice between putting my kids to bed and going to a party, I'll put my kids to bed. If I have a choice of going to a restaurant or having friends round, I'll have friends round. Every time.

Elle Macpherson

#56. Somehow, I always knew I would get married by the time I was 27. Even in college, I had this weird thing in my head that I would get married when I was 27, and hopefully my career would be stable, and I'll have kids by 30. And that's exactly what has happened.

Emraan Hashmi

#57. I love being outdoors and think a tan is very sexy. I'll lie out on white towels strewn with pillows. I don't like to hide under hats. If anyone knows about spending lots of the time on the beach, with kids and dogs in tow, it's me.

Pamela Anderson

#58. Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

Ray Romano

#59. I think kids are natural actors. You watch most kids; if they don't have a toy, they'll pick up a stick and make a toy out of it. Kids will daydream all the time.

Clint Eastwood

#60. You've got so much up ahead
You'll make new friends
You should see your kids and wife
And I'd end up saying have no fear
These are nowhere near the best years of your life

Brad Paisley

#61. I'll tell you what the real problem is: These people are working under the assumption that they know better about what is good for kids, what kids need to learn to get ahead in this world.

Daniel Greenberg

#62. I was kind of secretly hoping one of my kids would go out and make a million bucks. So when they put me in a home, at least I'll have a window with a view.

Joe Biden

#63. I'm 48 now and whatever I get music-wise, I get from my kids and that's it. I don't think I'll ever be hip again!

Brad Pitt

#64. I'm not even sure of what I want in a woman yet. I have a lot of things to do in life. When I grow up as long as she can cook, take care of the kids, and make me feel like "Daddy" then I'll be alright with her.

Kirko Bangz

#65. I don't believe that weed is a drug. I believe its herbal medicine. I'll smoke that occasionally and I definitely back marijuana but anything harder than that, I just say no to and I encourage kids to say no to hard drugs.

Christofer Drew

#66. I always take care to have interesting chord progressions, because you can have the best sound design in the club, and you'll kill it in the club, but in five years, kids will have better sound design. But if your music is good, you'll always be able to listen to it, even in 20 or 50 years.

Zedd

#67. If you read in front of your kids, it's very likely that they'll become readers, too.

John Lithgow

#68. A solid family, as they say. They join me on location if they have a chance, but I can also be home three or four months doing nothing, so I probably see my kids more than people who work constantly all year long. If that changes, we'll have to have a family meeting.

Mads Mikkelsen

#69. We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want a family so we'll have to start thinking about that.

Prince William

#70. I never tell my age because I hope I'll always be the new kid on the block.

Patrick Kelly

#71. Excerpt:
Here are some thoughts from Charlene the Star:
"I'll bet that's why Mama put the word "Star" in my
name. I have a feeling I'm going to be a star as a jumper.

Deanie Humphrys-Dunne

#72. Kids are so smart these days. They sense when there's a phony bologna out there. Especially in music, when they see something that's being marketed to them, they'll call it out. They'll be like, "This chick is bullshit."

Katy Perry

#73. It's been really fun to see with each album when I change to see the fans of the show emulate my style and with the first record a lot of the kids in the crowd were wearing neck ties like I was and now you'll see a lot of girls with pink hair. It's cool, it's actually really neat.

Avril Lavigne

#74. Don't let the past ruin your future. (Acheron) Meaning what, oh great Yoda? (Kyrian) You take care of the kid. I'll take care of your patrol tonight. I could use the target practice. (Acheron)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#75. You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

Larry The Cable Guy

#76. When my kids are in college, maybe I'll drag my fishnets and high heels out.

Sheena Easton

#77. The thing about the Oscars is real life doesn't stop. You have to get back to planet Earth the following morning. The rubbish needs taking out. The kids will be crying. They'll need feeding. Kids do not care whether you've been to the Oscars!

Helena Bonham Carter

#78. I love your kids."
"Make me an offer."
"Yeah, no. I'll just visit in their natural habitat.

Tere Michaels

#79. Grow to be a creative adult, and you'll develop and inspire others. Grow to be a thinker and you'll be aware of the animlas, the plants, and the fascinating veriety of people in our world.

Michelle Korenfeld

#80. I got a way to get through to kids. I try to take that and use that to my advantage. If we work on the kids right now, I'm telling you, they'll be making less mistakes, the jails will be gettin' less full. It's all about what we do with the kids.

Flavor Flav

#81. Put me in any city, I'll end up doing something with kids. That's the time of your life when it's pure fun.

Edgerrin James

#82. Kids are all computer-savvy. Sit down and write to your parents on the computer. And just say, I have some questions and I'm scared. There's some stuff I don't know and I really need to talk to you about sex. Tear it off and put it on their pillow. They'll read it.

Sue Johanson

#83. This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she'll get his money, he'll be dead in a week.

Jay Leno

#84. When I'm 40 and nobody wants to see me in a sparkly dress anymore, I'll be like: 'Cool, I'll just go in the studio and write songs for kids.'

Taylor Swift

#85. I'm of the mindset that most people who have kids are, which is, 'Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and the way I think is the right way to think. Let's put another one of me out there.' So I'll have kids one day.

David Cross

#86. I know I'll never marry, never risk bringing a child into the world. Because if there's one thing being a victor doesn't guarantee, it's our children's safety. My kids' names would go right into the reaping balls with everyone else's. And I swear I'll never let that happen.

Suzanne Collins

#87. Dogs are not people. Be leery of any woman who refers to her dogs as her 'kids,' because you'll only end up paying for their schooling.

Garry Shandling

#88. American families be warned, if the White House doesn't send your jobs overseas, they'll send your kids.

Joe Baca

#89. Inspire your children. I promise, your kids will think you're cool if you do this. They may not tell you that now, but they'll thank you later in life.

Laura Marano

#90. You want your kids to feel happy and good about themselves. The rest they'll work out on their own. You never know what your kids will be drawn to.

Buck Brannaman

#91. It hit me then that my family is gone, really gone, and even though I have ll these kids, they'll never know my family, so in a way they'll never know me, because they don't know me with my family. I don't have a context for my children.

Martha Moody

#92. Share a book and you'll make a friend!

Annie Lang

#93. Once I had kids, my whole attitude changed. I was like, "You make a spinal cord from scratch and we'll talk."

Pat Benatar

#94. At home, when I'm not pitching, I'll sit and sign autographs for the kids. I've always done that and I'll continue to do it. That's part of the job.

Kerry Wood

#95. The statistics tell you that kids like me face a grim future - that if they're lucky, they'll manage to avoid welfare; and if they're unlucky, they'll die of a heroin

J.D. Vance

#96. After doing One Fine Day and playing a pediatrician on ER, I'll never have kids. I'm going to have a vasectomy.

George Clooney

#97. They're making me go to school," Pram said. "I don't think it's a very good idea. I've read about how cruel kids can be."
"Are you afraid they'll be cruel, or that being around them for too long will make you cruel?" Felix said.
"Both, I suppose.

Lauren DeStefano

#98. It's overwhelming ... to know there are hundreds of kids out there that look up to me. I know that's a big responsibility. I am also very confident to say that it is wonderful and I'll do my best that I can do to be the best role model I can be.

Selena

#99. Well, if the kid screws up, then I'll just have to kick his ass.

Dante Alighieri

#100. If you read to your kids, you'll make readers out of them, partly because they'll associate reading with good parent-time.

Orson Scott Card