If You Have A Man Quotes

#1. People ask me what makes a good funeral, and I tell them the most important thing is your man in the casket. If you have a man of substance in there, you have the makings of a first-class funeral.

Cleveland Amory

#2. But killing a man ought to mean something, even if you have to do it.

Joe R. Lansdale

#3. If a man, in a lifetime of 50 years, can point to six songs that are immediately identifiable, he has achieved something. Irving Berlin can sing 60 that are immediately identifiable. Somebody once said you couldn't have a holiday without his permission.

Sammy Cahn

#4. A man working for wages his whole life is not really free. That is why Jefferson said, you have to own land. Southerners said, - and they weren't being hypocritical - they said slavery is the foundation of freedom because if you own slaves, you are freer yourself.

Eric Foner

#5. People have said to me for a long time, "Man you're funny." I say, "Well, I'm quick," but being funny on purpose, take after take - that's why I said for me it was new territory, and so by improvising something might come out that might be good. And it's film, so they can cut it if it isn't.

Denzel Washington

#6. I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball.

Pete Rose

#7. For a man it's like if something goes on on-stage you'll have a drink at the bar and talk about it. With a female artist it's a big deal, you have a meeting and she's mad at you for the next couple of shows!

Chris Johnson

#8. You are a sweet man."
-"God, there it is." He flopped back on the bed, as if shot through the heart. "Repeat that to anyone, and I will have you brought up on charges of slander."
"I wouldn't dream of telling a soul.

Tessa Dare

#9. Don't ever humiliate a man. If you're gonna have to dress him out, you take him aside and do it that way. That's the one thing I don't like about Hollywood: They go in for public humiliation. You shouldn't do that to a man.

Rip Torn

#10. If you ever want to know how a man truly feels about you, do absolutely nothing. Then you'll have your answer.

Miya Yamanouchi

#11. I have stood your meanness as long as I intend to. You have played the part of a damn scoundrel, and if you were any part of a man I would slap your jaws and force you to resent it ...

Nathan Bedford Forrest

#12. You love a man, Millie, you believe in him, you take him as he is. You go on his journey with him no matter what happens, even if that means you have to walk through fire.

Kristen Ashley

#13. If you wish to make a man look noble, your best course is to kill him. What superiority he may have inherited from his race, what superiority nature may have personally gifted him with, comes out in death.

Alexander Smith

#14. I was your man, you were halfway around the world from me, honey, I'd fucking phone you ... If you told me you needed a timeout, first, I wouldn't fuckin' let you have one. Second, I wouldn't give you reason to fuckin' want one. And last, you took off anyway, I'd fuckin' phone.

Kristen Ashley

#15. When a man you know to be of sound mind tells you his recently deceased mother has just tried to climb in his bedroom window and eat him, you only have two basic options. You can smell his breath, take his pulse and check his pupils to see if he's ingested anything nasty, or you can believe him.

Richard K. Morgan

#16. My identity depended on men for so long. You can be successful and still have the feeling that if you're not with a man you don't exist.

Jane Fonda

#17. The richest fuckin' people in the richest country in the world - you gonna tell them some little guy in a hole in South America can have something they can't? Like shit, man. If the little guy in the hole can be a revolutionary, they can be revolutionaries too.

Robert Stone

#18. Jem, see if you can stand in Bob Ewell's shoes a minute. I destroyed his last shred of credibility at that trial, if he had any to begin with. The man had to have some kind of comeback, his kind always does.

Harper Lee

#19. If you find a man who trusts you, who isn't afraid, who sees you for who you are, and if it feels like he knows you for who it is that you simply are, and thinks all of that is beautiful; know that you have found a rare thing.

C. JoyBell C.

#20. But if you have a book that needs urgent reading,' she said, 'then Hakim is your man.

Khaled Hosseini

#21. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do; for I shall not have my best warrior resigned to the service of a man who is fatter than Buddha and duller than the edge of a learning sword.

Seth Grahame-Smith

#22. Shelley says I have no feelings. I say, the trouble with being a man is that if you are a man you have to get on with it and save the feelings for when you're ready to deal with it. So far in my life I've never been ready. I

Mick Flynn

#23. The socializing hadn't been so bad, he acknowledged, and he couldn't say he minded the food, though a man would do better with a good beef sandwich. Still it was plentiful, even if you did have to pick your way through half of it to get to something recognizable.

Nora Roberts

#24. Why are women always the ones who have to forgive? If you cheated on a man, he would be like, 'You're disgusting, and I want nothing to do with you.' But women, we're supposed to be like, 'He messed up. He made a mistake.'

Adrienne Bailon

#25. Men feel about sex the way vampires feel about blood. They don't just like it, they crave it. That's why vampire stories always have strong sexual undercurrents. A vampire's hunger is simply a metaphor for a man's lust. And if a guy is paying attention to you, he wants to have sex with you.

Oliver Markus

#26. I hadn't made a big-budget film, and in Hollywood there's a sort of man and boys situation. You're a man, you make $80 million movies! As if it's harder to make an $80 million movie. Well, I guess businesswise it is because you have more executives to argue with.

Gus Van Sant

#27. El, you are telling me to run away with a man to become his mistress."
"I am telling you to be happy. Even if it lasts only a little while. We must snatch what we can when we have the chance. Life is so very lonely when we don't.

Jennifer Ashley

#28. If you're going to stab a man, at least have the courtesy to look him in the eyes while you do it. -- Dacey Sinnett

Dez Schwartz

#29. For a man, there's a big responsibility that comes with having a boy because men are made by their fathers. If you've got a good productive man around it's better. I have such a close relationship with my dad and that responsibility to produce a good man is something I think about.

Rafe Spall

#30. I am not a very sentimental man; and the best sentiment I can think of is, that if you collect the signatures of all persons who are no less distinguished than I, you will have a very undistinguishing mass of names.

Abraham Lincoln

#31. Crooks avoided the whole subject now. "Maybe you guys better go," he said. "I ain't sure I want you in here no more. A colored man got to have some rights even if he don't like 'em.

John Steinbeck

#32. You just have to go to bat and take a swing. And if you're not right for a part, or it goes to a British man, they may remember that you showed up, knew your lines and were good. And maybe they'll call you in for something else.

Tanya Fischer

#33. He lifted his head, staring into her eyes as if searching for something. Voice ragged, he said, "I told you I'm a possessive man, Eleri. I want to keep you, mount you, fill you, but even as I hold you like this... I am still your captive. Have mercy and tell me you'll have me.

Sandra Jones

#34. If you're going to be a musician's girlfriend, you have to know that your man will always love his bandmates in a way you can't even touch, because they are the guys who help him create music. You can only help him create a living human being, with your dumb uterus.

Julie Klausner

#35. Vomiting isn't bad either, take note. It is, in certain more obvious respects, a show of force. I have always liked this story 'A man holding with one hand to a one-way sign is vomiting into the gutter, another man goes past near him and tells him: "If you only knew how much I agree with you.

Jean Fremon

#36. And if you have loved a man or a woman, you will want to give the other person as much freedom as possible. If love cannot give freedom, then it is not love.

Osho

#37. It doesn't matter what your pedigree is, who your family is or what degrees you have. What really matters is how you perform your job and how you produce results. Whoever could do the best job, that's who the focus is on - and it definitely doesn't matter if I am a woman or a man.

Gracia Martore

#38. Men do monstrous things but if you call a man a monster you have absolved yourself of blame. You don't have to think that you might ever do these things. I don't think that's true

Patrick Ness

#39. The literary gift is a very dangerous gift to possess if you are not telling the truth, and I would a great deal rather, for my part, have a man stumble in his speech than to feel he was so exceedingly smooth that he had better be watched both day and night.

Woodrow Wilson

#40. If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

Bill Bryson

#41. A man I respected very early in my career told me, 'If you wanna truly be good at this, you have to learn to hate.'

Triple H

#42. Bump! Bump! Bump! Did you ever ride a wump? We have a Wump with just one hump. But, we know a man called Mr. Gump. Mr Gump has a seven hump Wump. So ... if you Bump! Bump! Just jump on the hump on the Wump of Gump.

Dr. Seuss

#43. Parker: When can you start? Rainie: I can start tomorrow if you'd like. My schedule is pretty much open. All I have to keep me at home is Thomas. Parker: Ah. It figures that there'd be a man in the picture. You're too lovely to be unattached. Rainie: Thomas is a cat.

Catherine Anderson

#44. Even if you're not a Catholic, even if you're not a Christian, in fact even if you have no religious faith at all, what people could see in Pope John Paul was a man of true and profound spiritual faith.

Chris Matthews

#45. Alexander? Fine. I'll leave you alone so you can call Lover Boy back." "Stop calling him that." Once he was gone, she punched her pillow a few times. It was funny that Sam thought she could have any man she wanted. If she were just looking for guys who wanted to hang out

CrushStar Romance

#46. If you're a black man, they really call you out and have you deal with them.

Tupac Shakur

#47. We have been told mankind will be judged on the intent of the heart. No mortal can see into the depth of another. There is only One who can. His is the role of a judge-not ours. If you are prone to criticize or judge, remember, we never see the target a man aims at in life. We see only what he hits.

H. Burke Peterson

#48. The Tories, every election, must have a bogy man. If you haven't got a programme, a bogy man will do.

Aneurin Bevan

#49. Then you have to be nothing. Want nothing. You can't have them-Kat or Annabel-if you need them. You're not a husband. You're not a father. You're a man with a task. Understand?

Greg Hurwitz

#50. What the creeping crud is that?" [Percy] demanded. "You're inside a giant glowing chicken-man!"
"Hawk!" I yelled.
I decided that if I survived this day I would have to make sure this guy never met Sadie. They'd probably take turns insulting me for the rest of eternity.

Rick Riordan

#51. I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period.

Pat Robertson

#52. In actuality Boaz respected and recognized Ruth's character first. As a result he held her in high regard. You can instantly catch a man's attention, but if you don't have his respect you won't get the relationship you deserve.

Stephan Labossiere

#53. [Among the Arapeh ... both father and mother are held responsible for child care by the entire community ... ] If one comments upon a middle-aged man as good-looking, the people answer: 'Good-looking? Ye-e-e-s? But you should have seen him before he bore all those children'.

Margaret Mead

#54. You don't know Mexico, man. You have trivialized Mexico. You are a fool about Mexico if you think that Mexico is five blocks. That is not Mexico; that is some crude Americanism you have absorbed.

Richard Rodriguez

#55. You can't have it all, all at once. Who - man or woman - has it all, all at once? Over my lifespan I think I have had it all. But in different periods of time things were rough. And if you have a caring life partner, you help the other person when that person needs it.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

#56. An hour ago, I would have sworn that a man's body wouldn't fit in a standard trash bag, and that even if it did, it'd be too heavy to lift."
"Pieces always fit better than the whole," he said. "And a corpse weighs less after you drain the blood."
"Spoken like a true psychopath.

Rachel Vincent

#57. You don't get to choose if get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have a say in who hurts you.

John Green

#58. Someone said drink the water, but I will drink the wine
Someone said take a poor man, the rich don't have a dime
Go fool yourself, if you will, I just haven't got the time
I'll give you back your water, and I will take the wine.

Frank Sinatra

#59. Then know, that I have little wealth to lose. A man I am, crossed with adversity; My riches are these poor habiliments, Of which if you should here disfurnish me, You take the sum and substance that I have.

William Shakespeare

#60. You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.

Zach Galifianakis

#61. If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast.

Ernest Hemingway,

#62. Egoism does not have eyes of its own. Some days, it sees through the eyes of the intellect (buddhi). However, what will happen if you befriend a blind man?

Dada Bhagwan

#63. I have always felt that if a man gives you a solid gold key to his door he is entitled to the courtesy of a visit.

Hedy Lamarr

#64. If you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day, if you teach a man to fish he'll eat all the fish you may have caught for yourself

Meg Cabot

#65. Now if you have proofs to bring forward, bring them forward, and your moral discourse as well; if you have no enthymemes, then fall back upon moral discourse: after all, it is more fitting for a good man to display himself as an honest fellow than as a subtle reasoner.

Aristotle.

#66. It is my happy privilege to be able to stand here and tell you that if you elect me you will have elected a governor who has made no promises of preferment to any man or group.

Charles Edison

#67. More often than not, a woman marries for money and a man marries for sex. What difference does a sheet of paper with signatures make?"
"If you have to ask, you wouldn't understand the answer," she said simply.

Diana Palmer

#68. Sir, if you think that I am that kind of a man, you have missed your mark. I would rather die a thousand deaths than betray a friend or be false to duty.

Sam Davis

#69. In Hollywood if you're good looking, tall, have okay teeth and nice skin, the odds of being successful are great. If you're short and fat, it's a different story. But as long as you look like a leading man type, half your job is done already.

John Corbett

#70. If you fellows have been hunted from one end of the country to the other as I have been, you'll understand what a bad man's reputation is built on. I've had credit for more killings than I ever dreamt of

Doc Holliday

#71. Or, what does a poor man have, a rich man need, and you would die if you ate it? Stuff

R.J. Palacio

#72. Every man ought to be in love a few times in his life, and to have a smart attack of the fever. You are better for it when it is over: the better for your misfortune, if you endure it with a manly heart; how much the better for success, if you win it and a good wife into the bargain!

William Makepeace Thackeray

#73. Church wants you on your place. Kneel, stand, kneel, stand. If you go for that sort of thing, I don't know what to do for you. A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you. You have to take it. 'Non serviam'.

Frank Costello

#74. You would think that a man who's spent as much time in the theater as I have would know when the proper time came for the hero to die-if he was to be a hero. I missed my cue for the great suicide scene

Kurt Vonnegut

#75. If you want a girl to like you, you have to listen like a woman and love like a man.

Jenny Downham

#76. Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.

Mark Twain

#77. and I lived on rum, I tell you. It's been meat and drink, and man and wife, to me; and if I'm not to have my rum now I'm a poor old hulk on a lee shore, my

Robert Louis Stevenson

#78. The most important thing is to cleanse and moisturise your face twice a day. Use eye drops. If your eyes are white, you look healthy; you look fresh. Every man should have a magnifying mirror. If you look good magnified, you are set to go.

Tom Ford

#79. How many times have you heard someone say If I had his money I'd do things my way Hmm, but little they know Hmm, it's so hard to find One rich man in ten with a satisfied mind.

Bob Dylan

#80. A man cannot eat more than three meals a day, or live in more than one house at a time. If you have what you need, and more than you need, what is the use of adding to it?

Alison Croggon

#81. Why should I have to ask you? You're a grown man! You should just know!
And there it is, kiddies. The Famous Female Mind Fuck.
That's short for: If you can't read their minds? You're fucked

Emma Chase

#82. If you're a man, you don't have to worry about your manliness.

David Gest

#83. I take cabs if I need to get somewhere or I take car service. I don't drive, I wouldn't mind riding a bike ... People think that because you become an entertainer you gotta have this rock star thug image. I'm an artist, man. I'm going to live like an artist.

ASAP Rocky

#84. All the seven deadly sins are man's true nature. To be greedy. To be hateful. To have lust. Of course, you have to control them, but if you're made to feel guilty for being human, then you're going to be trapped in a never-ending sin-and-repent cycle that you can't escape from.

Marilyn Manson

#85. One man told me, 'My tooth is hurting'. Why would 'your' tooth hurt you? This is considered a contradicting statement. What is yours, it will never give you pain and what is not yours will always give you pain. If you expound on this, you will have the solution!

Dada Bhagwan

#86. Find a man that even in silence you're comfortable with. That's a telling factor, B. If someone makes you nervous to the point that you have to chatter endlessly, then they're not the person for you. You need to be able to communicate without saying a word." Those

Micalea Smeltzer

#87. Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends."
"You're a twisted little man."
"Come on, Stretch, share with the class."
"No!" I laughed.
"Prude."
"Perv."
"Schoolmarm."
"Some other word that essentially means perv.

Molly Harper

#88. I am a man who am slow to change; and, if you take away from me the faith that I have been taught, it would be long ere I could learn one to set in its place. It is but a chip here and a chip there, yet it may bring the tree down in time.

Arthur Conan Doyle

#89. Funny thing about being a U.S. senator, the only thing the law says you have to be is 30 years old. Not another single requirement. They just figure that a man that old got nobody to blame but himself if he gets caught in there.

Will Rogers

#90. A man loves a woman so much, he asks her to marry - to change her name, quit her job, have and raise his babies, be home when he gets there, move where his job is. You can hardly imagine what he might ask if he didn't love her.

Gabrielle Burton

#91. The man of understanding, meditation, is not a man of control - just the opposite. He is a watcher. And if you want to watch, you have to be absolutely nonjudgmental.

Osho

#92. If you could kill a man by frowning at his back, the Breaker of Swords would have fallen bloody through the Last Door that day, but a frown is no blade, and Thorn's hatred cut no one but her.

Joe Abercrombie

#93. When you get to Lady Kincaid's house, don't leave until you've had a chance to talk to the man, even if you have to drag him by the ear. It may take a bit of persistence."
Sophie grinned, feeling better already. "That I have in abundance.

Karen Hawkins

#94. Many women crush their own dignity to be with a man. You have to be strong and learn to let go if he's not treating you right!

S.C. Jax

#95. What's gratifying about West Wing is that everybody told us that it couldn't be done - that the man or woman on the street didn't care about politics. But if you set things up correctly, people don't have a problem with it.

Rob Lowe

#96. If your man is a sports enthusiast, you may have to resign yourself to his spouting off in a monotone on a prize fight, football game or pennant race.

Marilyn Monroe

#97. Why is failure the first thing I think of when I find myself in this sort of situation? Why can't I just enjoy myself? But if you have to ask the question, then you know you're lost: self-consciousness is a man's worst enemy. Already I'm wondering whether she's as aware of my erection as I am ...

Nick Hornby

#98. If you should see/a man/walking
down a crowded street/ talking aloud/ to himself
don't run/in the opposite direction
but run toward him/for he is a poet!

You have nothing to fear/from a poet
but the truth

Ted Joans

#99. If ye have needs to see to, do it quickly."
"You're a stubborn man," she said.
"Tis a good quality in a man," he muttered under his breath as he picked up the saddle.

Margaret Mallory

#100. Fuck him."
Feeney made a sound like a man who'd been pinched. "Christ Jesus, Dallas, you're in St. Pat's."
"If God's going to make little weasels like him, she's going to have to listen to complaints.

J.D. Robb