Top 100 I Swear To God Quotes
#1. I swear to God, if GreatReads doesn't stop sending me these notification emails...how many times do I have to turn them off?
Melanie Marchande
#2. Is it because she's a challenge to you?" she asked, not looking away. "Because if you're going out with her because she's not easy, I swear to God, I will cut you."
I burst into laughter. "Cut me?"
Her eyes narrowed. "I'm not joking.
J. Lynn
#3. Some people get to live life. Some people survive it. We're survivors. We can carve out our piece of happy, and, I swear to God, baby, right now, you got my vow, for you and for me, the rest of our lives, I'll bust my ass to carve our piece of happy.
Kristen Ashley
#4. In health we're doing the digestive system. We each got assigned a topic for an oral report. I got the small intestine. I swear to god I hate my life.
Lynda Barry
#5. Don't make me punch you again, because I swear to God, I will." That elicited a smirk. His face still had a slight shadow where I'd gotten him. "I also have no qualms about going for your man bits again."
"I don't doubt you for a second, Missy.
Chelsea M. Cameron
#6. As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.
Janet Evanovich
#7. There. That is the answer to this riddle. The promises I can make, and the one I can't. Gwen. I will never leave you willingly. Life is a risk, and so love is, as well. But I swear to God, you will not regret the gamble.
Meredith Duran
#8. I swear to God, I think my panties just melted off my body. How can Crush just talking sex make me hot?
Jillian Dodd
#9. I swear to God I can't remember when I had a handbag. I know for some woman it's like an eleventh finger and you don't even think about it, even if you change every day. But I can't remember the handbag either. Who can run with a handbag?
Marlon James
#10. He frowned, his voice softer. "I don't know if it's Josh or what, but you need to get the hell out, or I swear to God, you'll end up spending the rest of your life in this shithole, just like all those girls - " "You mean like me?" Dylan asked, her voice suddenly hard.
Heather Demetrios
#11. I swear to God, I went in to buy bikinis, and the lady's like, 'You're not getting out of this store 'til you get down there and show me what you do for those abs and the arms.' She wouldn't sell me my bikinis! I had to get on the floor and do the stomach thing.
Sharon Stone
#12. I can't believe this night. I was supposed to be applauded and instead, I'm ruined. I swear to God in heaven if I ever see that man again, I will commit murder. (Tory) Well, if you need help moving the body, you know where Kim and I live. (Pam)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#13. He laughed again. "Not boring and not dumb. That's so much better than your boyfriend who both bored me and was dumb. To be honest I don't
know what you saw in him."
"Ex. Ex-boyfriend " she said. "I swear to God I'm never going to live that down.
Thea Harrison
#14. Record company execs eat their young, I swear to God.
Linda Barnes
#15. Also your mom. Bro, I saw your mom kiss you on the cheek this morning, and forgive me, but I swear to God I was like, man, I wish I was Q. And also, I wish my cheeks had penises.
John Green
#16. Here's the thing- I love you and I love her, but I swear to God I'll kick your ass if you hurt her.
Katie McGarry
#17. I swear to God, Gabriel, if you don't stop, I will lose it. I will go to the bathroom and pull a Britney in the middle of your acceptance speech.
Claire Contreras
#18. Bradley Cooper was an asshole, but he was - like Sidney Lumet, like George Clooney - the nicest guy in the world. I sound like the biggest ass-kisser ever. But I'm telling the truth, I swear to God!
Peter Jacobson
#21. If you love me at all, then you'll get off the damn edge of that roof!" she shouts, her sudden spurt of anger alarming me. "Because I can't take this anymore ... " Her shoulders heave as she cries. "I swear to God, if I lose one more person I love, it's going to kill me.
Jessica Sorensen
#22. JACKIE. I swear to God: Being in love with Veronica - it's like feeding your love to Godzilla every morning, and every morning you go "Yo, 'Zilla, these shits are very delicate so please chew softly", - and every morning - the motherfucker just goes crunch!
Stephen Adly Guirgis
#23. Ritie, don't worry 'cause you ain't pretty. Plenty pretty women I seen digging ditches or worse. You smart. I swear to God, I rather you have a good mind than a cute behind.
Maya Angelou
#24. Don't you dare leave me. I swear to God, I will follow you into hell if I have to and drag you back by the hair."
~Dragos
Thea Harrison
#25. Okay. No joke, there is a talking, dancing, bright red, studded dildo on the screen. There are other ones that look like him, and I swear to God one is wearing a condom on his head. That's a kids' show?
Amber L. Johnson
#26. People are sometimes like: "Oh man, you're so talented and you do a bunch of stuff." I'm not! I swear to god, I'm not. I just like learning stuff, I like doing stuff. And I feel like everybody can definitely do it.
Donald Glover
#27. Now you make yourself come, bitch. And I'll know if you're faking. You make that cunt clench around my cock or I swear to God I'll make you regret it
Cara McKenna
#28. My roommates continue to lurk in the doorway.
I find a pair of clean boxers and tug them on. "I swear to God, if you tell me you've been watching me sleep for the last hour like a bunch of creepers, I'm calling the cops.
Elle Kennedy
#29. So, the thing is, my dad, the immigrant, is really, really disappointed that I have an allergy. A peanut allergy. Because immigrants do not believe in allergies. I swear to God, ask any brown person with an accent that you see and they'll tell you that allergies are some New World shit.
Jade Chang
#30. I swear to God, every other fucker has flat-out deserted me.
Rainbow Rowell
#31. At least she (Thomas' mom) knows what she wants is dead. What I want just refuses to be with me. Maybe I should compare notes with her on what's worse, for I swear to God sometimes I think if you were dead this would hurt less.
Joey W. Hill
#32. It would figure the best looking guy on this ward is gay ... and he has a sexier than sin boyfriend ... I swear to God I'm going to turn into a man. It's the only way.
Crystal Rose
#33. I am going to hurt you.
You are going to hurt me.
But we will do it with practiced fingers
and passionate mouths
and I swear to god
it will be worth something.
Trista Mateer
#34. If you even think about touching her, I swear to God I will rip your heart out. - Chayse Pierce
Jalpa Williby
#35. I think happiness is a choice. If you feel yourself being happy and can settle in to the life choices you make, then it's great. It's really, really great. I swear to God, happiness is the best makeup.
Drew Barrymore
#36. I told her I loved her and all. It was a lie, of course, but the thing is, I meant it when I said it. I'm crazy. I swear to God I am.
J.D. Salinger
#37. I have never knowingly, I swear to God, written satire. The word connotes exaggeration of the foibles of mankind. To me, mankind just has foibles. You don't have to push it!
Tom Wolfe
#38. If you kiss me and then leave again to go write another
twangy song," she said, eyes closed, lips barely moving, "I swear to God, I will snap that guitar in half and feed it to you for breakfast."
"You use the prettiest words.
Jamie Farrell
#39. Fucking hell, Clayton! Yes, this sucks, but it's not forever. And I swear to God if you try this whole I'm letting you go because I love you too much line of crap again, I will smack the crap out of you!
A Meredith Walters
#40. I want to play trailer trash; I swear to God.
Joan Van Ark
#41. I swear to God, if I get shot again, Indigo will strangle me.
Nalini Singh
#42. Next time, pick on someone your own size, or I swear to God I'll shift and we'll throw down, and you'll find out what kind of crazy bitches they breed in backwoods Wisconsin. Toodles!
Georgette St. Clair
#43. Don't do it. I swear to god I will break your fingers off ... Okay, do it.
T.J. Klune
#44. The funny part is, I felt like marrying her the minute I saw her. I'm crazy. I didn't even like her much, and yet all of a sudden I felt like I was in love with her and wanted to marry her. I swear to God I'm crazy. I admit it.
J.D. Salinger
#45. We had this talk," she said. "You may be dead sexy, and I mean, like, really dead and really sexy, but you don't get to tell me what to do. Right? And no head-shrinker stuff, either, or I swear to God, I'll pack my shit and move!
Rachel Caine
#46. There was one dude in a jeans jacket who I swear to God shit in his pants when all of a sudden I was inches away from his face playing drums in the air.
Tommy Lee
#47. That's the terrible part. I swear to God I'm a madman.
J.D. Salinger
#48. Do not tell me what I think you're going to or I swear to God, I'm going to fly to Brazil and go all black ops on this guy for cheating on you.
Melissa Cutler
#49. FLETCHER: What are--?
ANDREW: I need to talk to you.
FLETCHER: Now is not the time, I swear to God--
ANDREW: I can play that part, you know I can-- swear to God--
ANDREW: I can play that part, you know I can--
FLETCHER: I said NOT NOW!!! You want the part? Then...earn it.
Damien Chazelle
#50. Um....I love your accent, and your cock is magnificent, and if you don't put it in me soon I will cry and it'll ruin my makeup and it'll be all your fault, so please fuck me now, right now, this second, or I swear to God I will forget I'm the submissive in this relationship.
Tiffany Reisz
#52. I swear to God, I don't remember anything Gwyneth Paltrow was in. Some people get hot by association. I heard more about her and Brad Pitt and I ever heard about her work.
Jennifer Lopez
#53. Grief, I swear to God, doesn't live in the heart. It lives in the senses. And sometimes, all I want to do is cut off my nose so I can't smell her, hack my fingers off at the joint.
Dennis Lehane
#54. Dorian's going to love this."
She glared. "I swear to God, you tell him, and I'll" - what the hell could you threaten an alpha with? - "I'll tell Hawke you want to go on daily bonding runs with him.
Nalini Singh
#55. I swear to God, after the zombie apocalypse the only thing left on the planet will be cockroaches and Moose," I told Mom one night after she managed to back into a light pole at the restaurant and drive away with not even a dent in the bumper.
Mom shushed me at the time. "He'll hear you!
Katie Klein
#57. Go there and I swear to God you'll have to check 'other' when asked if you're male or female.
Katie McGarry
#58. Ha-ha. The dumb jock who can't talk the Queen's English. I swear to God, the next person who corrects my grammar gets punched in the face.
Rick Yancey
#59. Tell me and, I swear to God, I'll make it so you won't be scared ever again, he promised.
Kristen Ashley
#60. I swear to God, the sups in this city could have their own reality show.
Chloe Neill
#61. Why the hell are you wearing it on your left hand? I swear to God, if you're married I'm going to kick your ass. I'm not joking.
Abi Ketner
#62. I swear to God I will never set eyes on him again. I bind my honour to you that I am done with him in this world. It is all at an end. And indeed he does not want my help; you do not know him as I do; he is safe, he is quite safe; mark my words, he will never more be heard of. ~Jekyll
Robert Louis Stevenson
#63. I swear to God ... "
"God doesn't come to this part of the house, so swear to me." -Liam C
J.J. McAvoy
#64. I swear to God," she muttered, fighting a laugh, "if you've dusted me with blue, I'll tie your balls in a knot and hang you up by them on the nearest sharp object I see.
Nalini Singh
#66. There's a plan B? Jack asked.
"You're another," Edilio snapped. "You're not going to tell me again that you won't fight, because I swear to God I'll shoot you myself.
Michael Grant
#67. I swear to God, if you do not put Mom on the line I'm going to choke you in your sleep." "With your bare hands or your pretentious infinity scarf?" Rell joked.
Raine O'Tierney
#68. He shakes his head with a slow smile. You'd better be right. If the phone rings, I'm unpluggining it, I swear to God-"
You'd do that to your five-year-old sister?" I gasp in mock outrage.
For one whole night alone? Jesus, Maya, I'd sell her to the gypsies!
Tabitha Suzuma
#69. I am a fucking awesome girlfriend, some asshole is going to be so lucky one day.
I swear to god, I hope that asshole will be me.
Jay McLean
#70. Now filet mignon come with every meal. I swear to God that I'm so high, Feel like i am going up a hill.
Wiz Khalifa
#71. Josie watched him leave then turned to me. "I swear to God, if I had the money, you'd be the one making cookies while he slobbers all over you." "You're the one who said he was harmless." I reached under the counter to get a box ready for Ellen's order.
Catherine Bruns
#72. I swear to God, Boss," he said one day. "Ya ain't never been a talker, but lately, if ya'd a had to rub two words together to make a fire, you'd a done froze to death.
Eli Easton
#73. People have no morals, I swear to God. The things that people do for ratings! It's unforgivable.
Madonna Ciccone
#74. I swear to God, if you saw me when I am by myself in the woods, I'm a lunatic. I sing, I dance.
Chris Evans
#75. When I kissed you the day I left, I swear to God you stripped me bare.
Scarlett Cole
#76. She walked to the front door. 'Hello?'
'Hello,' a woman's voice said.
'Are you a Witness?'
'I swear to God I didn't see a thing.
Anne Lamott
#77. I swear to God, I will see [the Palestinian state], whether as a martyr or alive. Please, God, give me the honor of becoming a martyr in the fight for Jerusalem.
Yasser Arafat
#78. Perhaps this is how racism feels no matter the context - randomly the rules everyone else gets to play by no longer apply to you, and to call this out by calling out "I swear to God!" is to be called insane, crass, crazy. Bad sportsmanship.
Claudia Rankine
#79. I swear to god, Angie, you're like Kryptonite - you fucking break me.
J. Kenner
#80. I mean, I always want everyone to kiss me, but I also don't want anyone to ever even think about trying any funny business because I swear to God I will yell and run. It's sort of hard to explain.
Katie Heaney
#81. Like one moment I am whole, but then I hear your voice on the phone and I swear to god three blocks away from here they can smell smoke.
Trista Mateer
#82. Let go of me or slow down," she demanded as she tried to keep pace with him.
He slowed down. "I swear to God, you try the patience of a saint."
"You aren't a saint, Brodick, no matter what your mother might have told you.
Julie Garwood
#83. Also, Nathan, if you're listening, and I assume you are, I'm the best and only friend you've got. Give her permission to share what she has, or I swear to God I'll have you turning tricks out of a prefab shed on the side of the highway. I'm trying to save humanity here.
James S.A. Corey
#84. Yukio!! I swear to God I'll surpass you!! Just you watch!
Kazue Kato
#85. Oh, hell no!" I yell at them. They are not about to negotiate as to whether they get to see my goods. "Denton, I swear to God, if you come over here, I am sending you anthrax in the mail!
Angeline Kace
#86. I swear to God I was freaked out about the Aswang when I was a kid in the Philippines.
Reggie Lee
#87. Anyway, I'm sort of glad they've got the atomic bomb invented. If there's ever another war, I'm going to sit right the hell on top of it. I'll volunteer for it, I swear to God I will.
J.D. Salinger
#88. I have friends of mine that are actors or singers, and they're the classic guys where, they're onstage, and they're like, 'Okay, the blonde in the third row, seat 24, bring her to my dressing room.' I've never, never taken advantage of that, I swear to God.
Jaime Camil
#89. We love you, dude, but I swear to God, if you put me in a position where I have to pick between you and Shaw, she is going to win every single time, hands down. Know it.
Jay Crownover
#90. I never got into Linux. I swear to God, it's only lack of time. I'm past the years of my life where I can really dig into something like running a Linux system. I'm very sympathetic to the whole idea; Linux people always think the way I want to think.
Steve Wozniak
#91. You are the sun I revolve around, the stars that mark me, the moon rising through me. I'm lost without you. If you won't have me, I'll break, I swear to God. I know it's selfish, and I'm sorry. Let me serve you. Have me as yours. Let me live under you.
C.D. Reiss
#92. Jameson: I just nailed you
Lexa: Strange. I didn't feel a thing.
Jameson: I just EMAILED you. I swear to GOD I typed emailed and my phone changed it
Lexa: Sure you did
Christine Zolendz
#93. When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, 'Hey, you hockey puck!'
Don Rickles
#94. I'm not giving you his number because he's mine and if you get anywhere near him I swear to God the thing I do to you will be chronicled on Investigation Discovery for years to come
Jay Crownover
#95. If I were honest, I'd say it only sort of gets better. That there's always this part of you that got carved out. It's a physical thing, I swear to God, and it's the part that swells right before you cry. Eventually you stop hoping and start to fill it up with memories.
Kathleen Hale
#96. I swear to God, I would marry the first person who asked me, just because it seems so completely impossible that anyone would ask.
Minnie Driver
#97. No fucking about. I want inside you now. You fuck about, I swear to God...' He's deadly serious.
Jodi Ellen Malpas
#98. Every single floorboard quivers and shudders under my feet, and I start mentally bargaining with the house: If I make it to the front door without waking up Aunt Carol, I swear to God I'll never slam another door. I'll never call you "an old piece of turd" again.
Lauren Oliver
#99. Uhm, Kevin ... "
"Be quiet, or I swear to God I'll take you right here."
Yes, this was definitely Forced Sex.
Thank goodness.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
#100. All the air left my lungs. I couldn't breathe. "Maya, I swear to God, if he fucking touches you, I'm going to cut his balls off and then snap his fucking neck.
Harlow Grace