Top 44 Grammar Humor Quotes
#1. I sutured split infinitives and hoisted dangling modifiers and wore out the seam of my best flannel skirt.
Amor Towles
#2. Why are they going to disappear him?'
I don't know.'
It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.
Joseph Heller
#3. The wall between writing and painting is just good grammar.
Moderation in moderation.
Fun is scary with a happy ending.
Just love. If love doesn't transform that which annoys you, it will be easier to tolerate.
Emily Thornton Calvo
#4. ...And somewhere along the line in my literary career, I discovered the differences between grammar and grandpa, and write from wrong.
Dan Adams
#5. That's so typical. You won't steal a baby, but you're too lazy to conjugate.
Jim Butcher
#6. Grammar, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet of the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
Ambrose Bierce
#7. And that was when I said 'Henry, the placement of the comma depends on whether 'I ate grandmother' or 'I ate, grandmother'.
Mia Castile
#8. And while we're on the subject of ducks, which we plainly are, the story, 'The Ugly Duckling' ought be banned as the central character wasn't a duckling or he wouldn't have grown up into a swan. He was a cygnet.
Russell Brand
#9. We learned the seven traditional ways to make words unclear."
"Seven? That many? Which was the most effective?"
"Poor grammar skills.
Lita Burke
#10. Whom" may indeed be on the way out, but so is Venice, and we still like to go there.
Mary Norris
#11. What the semicolon's anxious supporters fret about is the tendency of contemporary writers to use a dash instead of a semicolon and thus precipitate the end of the world. Are they being alarmist?
Lynne Truss
#12. I escape disaster by writing a poem with a joke in it:
The past, present, and future walk into a bar - it was tense.
Kelli Russell Agodon
#13. Most of these editors, as they call themselves, couldn't even effectively edit a haiku.
Frank Black
#14. His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action.
Jennifer Crusie
#15. People who start a sentence with personally (and they're always women) ought to be thrown to the lions. It's a repulsive habit.
Georgette Heyer
#16. The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar.
Michel De Montaigne
#17. American grammar doesn't have the sturdiness of British grammar (a British advertising man with a proper education can make magazine copy for ribbed condoms sound like the Magna goddam Carta), but it has its own scruffy charm
Stephen King
#18. When spreading vicious and damaging gossip about the private affairs of others, one must always use proper grammar and posture.
Scott Rhine
#19. Cordelia glared at me. 'I expect if someone strapped you to table an swung an axe over your naked quivering flesh like The Pit and the Pendulum, you'd be correcting his grammar'.
Victoria Clayton
#20. It is high time we turned to Grammar now," said Doctor Cornelius, in a loud voice. "Will your Royal Highness be pleased to open Pulverulentus Siccus at the fourth page of his 'Grammatical Garden or the Arbour of Accidence pleasantlie open'd to Tender Wits?
C.S. Lewis
#21. The process of editing a piece of writing seems sometimes a lot like natural selection. Your efforts never really eliminate the mistakes. You just cause them to evolve into a sneakier, more robust breed.
John A. Ashley
#22. I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.
Tina Fey
#23. And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before
and thus was the Empire forged.
Douglas Adams
#24. Those who can, do; those who can't, teach; those who can't teach, police grammar on the Internet.
Ruadhan J. McElroy
#25. Kim was more than a little inclined to snarl at him, but in the past few days she had learned that snarling at Mairelon did little good. He simply smiled and corrected her grammar.
Patricia C. Wrede
#27. My, my, aren't we upper class and therefore faultlessly grammatical.
Sharon Green
#28. Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.
Jasper Fforde
#29. This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional gramar, split infinitives, and the odd wank.
Christopher Moore
#30. Despite centuries of English literature, the most famous split infinitive in all of history comes from Star Trek.
R. Curtis Venture
#31. Why no s for two deer,
but an s for two monkeys?
Brother Quang says
no one knows.
So much for rules!
Whoever invented English should be bitten by a snake.
Thanhha Lai
#32. I might not use capital letters. But I would definitely use an apostrophe ... and probably a period. I'm a huge fan of punctuation.
Rainbow Rowell
#33. Which is him? The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.
Mark Twain
#34. What had happened to the old Jack Grammar, the one who would have flubbed it somehow?
Well, I reasoned: I could still flub it. Let the flubbing begin!
Alex Bradley
#35. #Twitter: proudly promoting ghastly grammar and silly misspelling since 2006.
E.A. Bucchianeri
#36. I decided quickly that committing crimes against grammar was a hard limit for me.
Sophie Morgan
#37. It is woven with the most powerful paradoxes in the Nine Worlds - Wi-Fi with no lag, a politician's sincerity, a printer that prints, healthy deep fried food, and an interesting grammar lecture!'
'Okay, yeah,' I admitted. 'Those things don't exist.
Rick Riordan
#38. The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Lex Martin
#39. I really do not know that anything has ever been more exciting than diagramming sentences.
Gertrude Stein
#40. Frankly, I wonder who Frank was, and why he has an adverb all to himself.
Jodi Picoult
#41. If you can spell "Nietzsche" without Google, you deserve a cookie.
Lauren Leto
#42. That Grace looked annoyed at me.
"I didn't say you would go to jail, Junie B.," she said. "I just wish you would say the word correctly, that's all.
Barbara Park
#43. Those spineless types who talk about abolishing the apostrophe are missing the point.
Lynne Truss
#44. I love you. You are the object of my affection and the object of my sentence.
Mignon Fogarty
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
